Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Josh
It had been nearly twenty-six days since I’d felt Shay’s skin on mine—since I’d watched him deliver a near-death experience on his knees.
Just for me.
I didn’t want to think about the possibility of him being with anyone else, because it had been over 600 hours since I’d admired the early morning light on his eyelashes while he peacefully slumbered.
And nearly a full month since I’ve slept through the night.
I’d made a habit of stumbling across the hall to my studio when my insomnia kicked in, hoping to distract myself from why I couldn’t sleep.
It was an exercise in futility, since I would just end up painting the object of my obsession for hours instead, determined to commit his perfect face to memory.
Sometimes, this meditative exercise soothed the ache inside me, and sometimes it made it worse. At this point, I’d painted Shay dozens of times, but it still wasn’t enough.
His daily texts and occasional phone calls helped, and when he sent me a photo of himself recording a routine in the dance studio after hours, I asked—begged—him to send me the final video.
“How ‘bout I just send you the link to my Instagram?” he’d replied. “That way you can drool over me whenever you want.”
I’d done more than drool. I’d studied his reels like they were 500-year-old Renaissance paintings hung in the Uffizi, until I could anticipate every movement, until I knew how to realistically paint the stage lighting caressing the lines of his athletic form.
Until it physically hurt to look at him.
I felt the loss of Shay so acutely, it was as if I was missing a limb, but his flirting during our brief conversations remained as casual as ever. I’d decided to tell him how I felt when he returned to visit his sister’s grave, but he understandably hadn’t been ready for that yet.
I’ll wait however long it takes.
“C’mon, dearest, eat your breakfast,” I coaxed as Lenore peered around the otherwise empty kitchen instead of starting on her peanuts. “He hasn’t come home yet.”
Yet…
My phone buzzed with an incoming call, and I was shocked to see Shay calling me.
“Good morning, shortstack!” I grinned wildly, unable to keep the pure joy from my voice. “What’s a night owl like you doing up so early?”
I almost lost Shay’s amused huff in the background noise of whatever busy street he was on. “I’ve been up for hours.” He cleared his throat. “I’m back in town, actually.”
“What?!” I stood so abruptly, Lenore nearly upended the pinch bowl. “Is it for another competition? When can I see you?”
I need to see you.
“Calm down, moneybags,” he laughed. “I’m not here for a competition. Some… family shit is going down. I was hoping to talk to you about it actually—about a few things—if that’s okay?”
He covered the microphone as a fire truck wailed past him, and I raised my voice to register over the siren I coincidentally heard outside. “Of course, Shay, anything you need. Just tell me where you’re staying and I’ll come meet you.”
Even before he could reply, I was shooing Lenore out the window and hustling across my apartment to get dressed and go.
Nothing else mattered. The commission I’d been working on when Shay was last here was done, and I refused to rush the Mancini project, despite their insistence on paying me triple.
The dead can wait.
In reality, no amount of money—nothing at all—would have stopped me from seeing Shay today.
He chuckled in my ear. “Well, I’ve been staying on my gym-bro brother’s couch, which has been a delight, let me tell you…” He cleared his throat again, seeming uncharacteristically nervous. “But, right now, I’m, um… I’m outside your building.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “You’re… outside my building?”
Before he could reply, I veered into my studio, past my paintings, and out onto the terrace overlooking the park.
“Y-yeah,” he stuttered as I spotted his achingly familiar blond head on the sidewalk far below. “I hope that’s okay—”
“Come up here immediately,” I growled, resisting the urge to swoop down like some sort of superhero and get to him faster. “You’re already on the approved visitors list.”
I added you the day you left.
He laughed and looked up, although I wasn’t sure if he could see me. “Yes, sir.”
“Good boy,” I replied and ended the call, needing to calm down before the elevator arrived.
Otherwise, I might fuck him on the living room floor.
I briefly considered covering up the damning evidence littered throughout my studio, but decided it was best to come clean—to show him exactly how he’d worked his way into my bones, even if he didn’t feel the same.
And there’s more where that came from…
I heard the elevator rumble to a stop as I reached my soulless entryway, my hands itching with the promise of touching him, my nerves sparkling with anticipation.
Come. Here.
I only had a moment to wonder if I looked ridiculous just standing there waiting, before the elevator doors opened and Shay was barreling toward me.
He was dressed in gray joggers and a cropped tee shirt, with his white-blond hair as artfully cut as ever, but before I could fully take him in, he’d tossed his duffel bag aside and leaped into my arms.
Finally.
The groan I released as he crashed his lips to mine should have been embarrassing, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Not when his woodsy vanilla scent was washing over me, his toned legs were wrapping around my waist, and his hands were buried in my hair—seeming just as desperate for me as I’d been for him.
I sucked on his tongue as we deepened the kiss, losing myself to the taste of him, my hands greedily clutching his perfect ass and pressing his hot little body as close to me as humanly possible.
He’s finally home.
“Josh… please…” he panted against my mouth before running his tongue over my “vampire fangs” and whining desperately. “Please, please, please…”
“Whatever you need, Shay,” I soothed, nipping his juicy bottom lip, just to hear him whimper. “Anything.”
His lip curling mischievously was the only warning I got. “I want you to fuck me.”
Oh.
Oh no.
Striding to the ostentatiously formal dining table, I booted the head chair out of the way and set him down on the end of the table. Then I placed my hands on either side of his thighs, gripping the table’s edge, and lowered my forehead to rest against his.
I can’t…
“Did I… say something wrong?” Shay haltingly asked, and I hated what I heard in his tone.
Hesitation. Worry. Fear.
And this time it’s because of me.
“Not at all, sweet thing,” I softly kissed his trembling lips. “I just needed a moment to compose myself. Otherwise, I may have torn your clothes off right then and there.”
He scoffed. “What exactly is the problem with that? I’ve been wanting you to fuck me since our first night together—I just wasn’t sure if you wanted it.”
I straightened and softly smiled down at him.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, or that I don’t want to now.
I just…” I braced for his reaction. “I knew the fact you were leaving right after would have wrecked me. Sex means something to me, Shay, and I don’t make a habit of fucking just anyone.
Unfortunately, I’ve still managed to become a bit…
obsessed with you since you were last here. ”
Might as well be honest.
His pretty gray eyes had widened the more I talked, but I needed him to understand the magnitude of what he was asking for.
“Now, I fully intend to make you come multiple times—to show you how much I’ve missed you,” I continued. “But I’m legitimately concerned about claiming you completely only to watch you walk out the door again.”
I can’t survive something like that.
“Oh,” he replied, running his gaze over me before smirking. “Well, that was one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Me staying. Not just in the city but in your moneybags apartment. Permanently.”
I…
“You want to live here?” I carefully asked, unsure if I was so sleep deprived that I was dreaming. “Like roommates or…”
“Oh my fucking GAWD, Josh!” he cackled, throwing his arms around my neck and pulling me close.
“I want to be your boyfriend, you big behemoth vampire. I want to wake up next to you and feed Lenore before we get bagels and walk through the park. I want to cuddle with you on your rich bish couch and watch Ginger Rogers movies because you’re an old man who got all excited that she lived here.
I want to watch you paint because, while your talent is hot as hell, your empathy—the way you deeply care about people—is even hotter.
I want to find a new studio to teach at but only dance for you. I just want to come home to you.”
So many emotions were coursing through me, I didn’t know what to do with myself, but one part of his confession made me brave enough to share mine.
“I want all that and more, sweet thing, but speaking of dancing for me…” I hoisted him over my shoulder with one arm and scooped up his discarded duffel bag along the way before stalking to the third bedroom in my apartment.
The one I’d been using as storage before we met.
Not anymore.
“What are we…?” Shay huffed as I set him down in the darkened room. “I can’t see shit!”
“Patience, shortstack.” I grinned before hitting the switch to turn on the lights.
The neon stage lights.
These lights were coming from two sources—and currently set to phthalo blue and cadmium orange—reflecting off the full wall of mirrors and the gleaming LUPIT-brand pole securely set up in the middle of the room.
Only the best for him.
The room itself had been painted matte black, with heavy blackout curtains covering the windows on the far wall.
A black leather chaise lounge was set up in one corner, along with a vanity and rolling clothing rack, while boxes containing an iPhone tripod and various ring lights occupied the other corner.
“Are you getting into dancing, moneybags?” Shay teased, stepping up to the pole before testing the hold. “A new hobby for when you’re not painting dead people?”
I huffed a laugh and ran a hand through my hair, suddenly realizing how presumptuous I’d been to do this.
Obsession will do that to a man.
“This is all for you,” I explained unnecessarily. “My plan was to wait until you came back to the city and show you this space—show you what I did for you and… ask you to move in with me.”
Shay hummed and pulled his T-shirt over his head before toeing off his sneakers and socks. Then he hoisted himself onto the pole and completed a series of twirls that looked effortless but left me speechless.
“And what if I’d said no?” he purred, releasing the pole and strutting closer, like my wildest fantasies from one of his reels come to life.
“Well, then I guess I’d pick up a new hobby,” I joked, lifting his chin with my finger to kiss him again.
He grinned against my mouth before pulling back. “I forgot to mention your sense of humor in my ‘reasons I’m obsessed with Josh’ speech earlier.”
“Or my vampire fangs,” I replied with a dramatic sigh.
“Or this broody vampire hair.” He reached up to card his fingers through my hair before trailing his hands down my shoulders and arms, down to my wrists.
“Or these thick behemoth fingers that felt so fucking good stuffed in my ass. Fuuuck, Josh. I need your enormous dick inside me. I’ll be so good for you. Pleeeeease…”
Who could say no to that?
“I’ll give you anything you need,” I soothed, feeling my dick thicken and throb at the thought of exactly that. “But the one thing I forgot to add to this room was lube, so let’s head to the bedroom—”
“I have lube in my bag!” Shay interrupted, frantically scrabbling at my robe to yank it open. “And I’ve been training my ass with bigger and bigger plugs to prep for you. I’m wearing one now—”
My vision tunneled. “You’re wearing a plug right now?”
“Yeah…” He backed away, tauntingly playing with the waistband of his joggers. “Wanna see?”
I was panting like a wild animal, quickly losing my ability to think. “Show me.”
Shay licked his lips and turned his back to me before bending over, pulling his joggers down until he touched his toes.
My jaw dropped—not just at the sight of the glass plug catching the light but at the white lace jockstrap he was also wearing.
Lord have mercy.
A sense of purpose I’d been missing for my entire life clicked into place. “Get on the chaise with your ass up,” I commanded. “I need to make you come.”