Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
Theo
“What do you mean you can’t come?” My voice climbed up in pitch, and I was getting dangerously close to squeaking. “You promised.”
“Dude, I’m sorry, but Matthew has decided that’s the day he and Greg are going to surprise elope and they practically begged me to be their witness. And you know I had to say yes.”
Generally, I wasn’t the type of person who couldn’t do things alone.
I did things alone all the time. Went out to eat.
Went to the movies. I went to concerts alone.
My social circle wasn’t that big, and a lot of my friends had paired off and settled down.
Some of them had kids and going out wasn’t as easy for them anymore.
So I made do. But there were some things I couldn’t do alone, and I’d been looking forward to this for weeks.
“Who plans to elope?” Was I pouting? Yes. Did I care? No.
“Matthew plans to elope,” Clarissa said.
“Can’t you just swing by the courthouse on your way to my place? They can get married during the day, and you can come with me that night. Problem solved.”
“They want to get married in Mexico.”
I slumped in my chair. Putting the phone on speaker, I set it on my desk. “Mexico trumps a haunted walking tour,” I stated, trying not to feel too sorry for myself.
“Just go alone, Theo. You do things by yourself all the time.”
I hated to be the one to tell her that I did things alone to avoid situations like this.
The letdown was a boulder crushing my chest. There was nothing worse than making plans that only you were excited about.
It sucked to always be the one to plan things and beg people to want to come with you.
Clarissa came with me as often as she could, and I so infrequently asked her to do anything, that when I’d practically thrown myself at her feet and begged her to come with me on the haunted walking tour that had just started up in the historical district of town, I thought for sure she wouldn’t let me down.
“I can’t go on a haunted walking tour alone.” Only through some miracle did I manage to keep the tremble in my chest from reaching my voice.
“Theo, I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, but those places aren’t really haunted.”
I bit my tongue to keep myself from saying anything. She didn’t know why I was so adamant I couldn’t go alone. I’d never told her, and that wasn’t her fault.
Instead, I exhaled slowly. “I just really didn’t want to go alone, but I get why you have to skip it.”
“We can go when I get back.”
“I already bought the tickets.” They didn’t cost a lot, but I hated to waste money.
“Why don’t you use that app?”
“App?”
“Yeah.” Clarissa’s voice perked up with excitement. “It’s called Heart2Heart, and I’m sure there are plenty of men on there who would be willing to go on a little ghost tour with you.”
“A dating app.” I groaned in disbelief. “You know I don’t use those. I have the literal worst luck.”
“No, you have the literal worst taste,” Clarissa countered.
When she let out a happy little gasp next, I knew that I was in deep, deep trouble. “Don’t move, I’m coming over.”
Before I could argue, the line went dead. Three minutes later, she was breezing into my apartment. “I have the best idea. Give me your phone.”
“What?” I grabbed it off the desk, but Clarissa was lightning fast and snatched it from my hands. “I’m going to find a date for you. Your taste cannot be trusted.”
When Clarissa managed to land a unit in the same building I already lived in, I thought it would be great to have her so close. Most of the time it was. And then there were times like this when I suddenly found myself watching her gleefully run my life with my own phone.
“Do I at least get to have some input?”
She raised her gaze from my phone screen and stared into my soul. “No.”
“Wow. Okay.” It was hard to feel good about letting her pick a random dude from an app to take her place while she jetted off to Mexico. I mean, who abandons their best friend to watch their brother get married?
“Theo, I know I suck, but please let me do this for you?” Clarissa looked at me with her big, brown, Bambi eyes. She was impossible to be mad at in this scenario, and no matter how disappointed I was, I felt like shit for making her feel bad.
“Okay, fine. You can set a profile up for me and pick my date, but I get final say, okay?”
Clarissa shimmied and got comfortable on my couch like she planned to be there for the long haul. “This is going to be so fun.”
“Yes, well, I’m doing it for you. I want you to have fun in Mexico, so to prove there’s no hard feelings, I’m generously allowing you to do this for me.”
I didn’t know it was possible for a smile to be sarcastic, but somehow she managed one. “You keep telling yourself that, dude. Whatever helps you sleep at night. We both know you’re letting me do this because I’m leaving you no choice.”
“Wow, dude. Wow. Can I at least keep some of my dignity today?”
She looked up at me and grinned. “Nope.”
“Love you too.”
“You’re really going to love me when you see the absolute god I just got you a date with.” Her victorious smile stretched from ear to ear.
“We said I’d get final approval.” I reached for my phone, but Clarissa yanked it out of my reach.
“No, you said you’d get final approval, and I said you have shit taste in men, so I’d pick for you. The rules were clearly established.”
“Oh, my God, I hate you so much right now.”
She threw an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “You’re going to love me in like five seconds.”
Clarissa finally relinquished control of my phone. In a word, the man on the screen was gorgeous. He had brown hair that looked like it had a lot of red in it and the most amazing blue eyes.
“He’s too hot, Clarissa. There’s no way he’ll be interested.”
She just rolled her eyes at me and reached out, opening up the messages between us. Well, between her and… Hamish. His name was Hamish.
She tapped the screen with her long fingernail, drawing my attention to the conversation she’d had with Hamish.
My best friend needs someone to accompany him on a haunted walking tour because I’m a terrible person, and I have to go to Mexico to watch my baby brother elope. This is his profile. You look like someone I could trust my best friend with. Am I wrong in assuming so?
“You’re the actual worst best friend. And what makes you think you can trust him with me? According to this, he’s like six feet tall.”
“Dude.” Clarissa barked out a laugh. “You’re six feet tall.”
“Yeah, but he’s built like a fucking wall. I am a half wall at best. A pony wall. Maybe one of those flimsy pocket doors.”
Hamish was actually really fucking hot. Intimidatingly so. I’d never have messaged him of my own accord.
“Look, Theo. I love you, but don’t you ever watch real, actual television? Like the news and shit?”
“Uh, no. The news is depressing, thank you very much. It gives me hives.”
“Dramatic.” Clarissa rolled her eyes again and didn’t dispute my claim about the hives.
“Hamish is clearly the same Hamish that is on the news every morning giving the daily forecast. He’s not about to murder you and hide your body in his trunk because I know about him. He’d get caught in a hot minute.”
“People get caught all the time, and it doesn’t stop them from doing bad shit.”
“Yeah, but I’d know, so at least I could get justice for you.” She beamed like she’d really done something there.
“Wow. Love you too.”
My phone buzzed with a response, and I nearly threw it across the room in shock.
Tell your friend that I’d love to go.
Clarissa let out a yelp and snatched the phone from my hands again.
“You’ve got to stop doing that,” I told her as she tapped away, sending another message on my behalf.
“You’ve got to stop being so slow and letting me,” she challenged, grinning at my phone before passing it back. “There. It’s all set. Friday at eight, the two of you are going to meet up for a drink beforehand.”
“Clair,” I groaned, using the shorter version of her name.
“Oh, don’t pretend to be mad. We know you’re incapable of feeling anger toward me.” Clarissa eyed me with curiosity. “What’s the real reason you didn’t want to go alone? It’s not like you’ve not gone to things by yourself before. You’re mister independent.”
No one knew about my secret. I was pushing thirty, and it made me feel fucking ridiculous to the point of going to therapy. But the three therapists I’d been to for the issue all had stupid advice that I’d tried before and nothing had helped.
I, Theo Blake Hannover, was twenty-nine and three-quarters, and I was afraid of the dark.
There was no discernable childhood trauma to blame for it either. There was no singular event to point to where I could say there, that caused my fear. Like my brown hair or the strawberry birthmark on the inside of my thigh, my fear was just something I was born with.
Over the years, I’d tried exposure therapy. Late night walks alone in the dark. Leaving the lights off all night instead of indulging in the gentle glow of a night light. I think my fear of the dark was just something that I’d always have.
Most of the time, I managed to get along just fine.
But I’d be thirty soon. I didn’t want to be thirty years old and still have this irrational fear hanging over my life.
So I’d signed up for the haunted walking tour.
The historical district was made up of old brick buildings.
There was even a section of the old city that ran under the new section, like a city under a city.
I’d thought that maybe if I took my best friend along for moral support it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe if I wandered around some old, haunted buildings in the middle of the night and came out unscathed I’d be better able to handle the dark in normal situations.
But the joke was on me because now my carefully hatched plan had just turned into a date. A date that I’d no doubt make a complete fool of myself on.
I was so fucked.