Chapter 12 #2
“Yeah, and why's that?” I ask, trying my best to sound casual, though my chest is hammering as my mind latches on to her every word.
“Because I can't stop thinking about that night. And how I'm glad that it wasn't him.” Her words hit me like a match to a haystack, and I swallow, trying to process what she's trying to say.
“You—”
“You don't have to say anything. You see, I'm sort of doing this thing where I do the opposite of what I'd normally do.
Act on my instincts before I let myself overthink it.
Live life on the edge… It's a long story.” Well, that explains a lot.
Or maybe it doesn't because I'm still lost here.
I raise my glass to my lips, needing to do something.
“What I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry. The other day, by the pool.
What you saw. I got caught up in the moment and what I did wasn't fair to you.
I understand how foolish that was, considering you've made it pretty clear to me you're not interested, and I'm just sorry.
I didn't act appropriately, and I made shit weird.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I mutter. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”
“What on earth do you need to apologize for?”
“For wanting you. For not being able to get you out of my head since the moment you wrapped your hand around my cock.” Her breath hitches and I take another sip, emptying my glass.
Fuck. I guess it's out there now. The words hang between us and I swallow hard, trying to push these feelings down.
No good will come of this. Her stare is like an inferno, searing the parts of me she might think she wants, but isn't ready for.
“West, I—”
“Don't, baby. You don't want this, trust me.”
“Yeah? And what if I do? What then?”
“You don't know what you're asking. I'm hanging on by a thread, here, Jovi,” I reply. The moment I say it, my heart kicks up a notch, completely betraying me. Her eyes are wide, glistening in the moonlight, and it's like she can see everything I'm desperate to hold back.
“Tell me more about what I'm feeling.”
“Trouble—”
“No! You don't get to call me that!” She cuts me off, and I blink. She turns her body to face me. She's close. Way too fucking close to me, and I'm barely able to keep myself from reaching out and showing her just how fucking bad of an idea this is.
“You don't get to tell me how I feel. You don't get to act like you know what I want.
I want Beau and Haze. I want all of you.
Is it stupid? Probably. I wouldn't know a good decision if it hit me in the fucking face but I know that I can't go another day on this island without you knowing. I. Want. You.” Her words slam into me like a tidal wave.
Her chest rises and falls, her breathing growing frantic as her eyes search mine in the moonlight.
“You think you want me?”
“I know I do,” she whispers. Before I think better of it, my hands are on her, pulling her down as I roll onto my back in the sand.
She straddles me, my jacket sliding off and landing somewhere, her eyes wider than I've ever seen them as a mix of shock and excitement crashes into her.
My body reacts immediately, the fabric of my jeans growing tighter as her pussy aligns perfectly with my cock.
“Tell me what you want, Jovi,” I growl, moving my hands down to grip her hips, slowly rocking her back and forth against my erection.
She places her hands on my chest, the feeling of her touching me driving me wild as I allow myself to give in, just a little, to what has held me captive since she came into my life.
“I can’t fuck you, baby. But I can give you this.
Just once. Got it?” She nods, her face falling slightly as understanding of what I am and am not willing to give her sinks in.
She meets my rhythm, rocking back and forth slowly against me, her expression shifting into a shadowed goddess.
“Fuck, you're beautiful,” I say, my voice deep, causing her to grind against me a little harder. “Tell me, baby.”
“I-I want to feel you inside me,” she says, her breathy voice rolling over me as she digs her fingers into my chest.
“Yeah? You want me to fuck you, Jovi? Want to feel my thick, heavy cock in your tight, little pussy?”
“Yesss. Oh God. I need it. Need you.” I gaze up at her as she moves over me.
Her lips part as she bucks, desperate to feel as much as I'll give her.
I trail a hand from her hip, up to the strap of her nightie, pulling it down over her shoulder.
My thumb caresses her skin there, and she shifts, reaching up to pull the other down, exposing her gorgeous, heavy breasts to me.
“Damn, fuck, Jovi. You're fucking perfect, you know that? You look so good riding me.” Her tits bounce in the silver light, my balls aching with unrelenting need as she moans into the night, chasing her release.
She trails her fingers over my arms before gripping my hands and bringing them up to cup her breasts. “Fucking hell.” She feels incredible.
“West! Please, I need to come!”
“That's it, baby. Ride me harder. Come on my cock,” I say through heavy pants, thrusting up into her as she bounces on top of me.
“Daddy. I need you to fuck me. Need you harder. Want you harder!” Raw, unfiltered hunger possesses me with her use of the word daddy.
Temptation and desire get the better of me, and I remove a hand from her breast then bring it to my mouth, coating my thumb with spit before shifting to the spot between her legs.
I want to make her feel good. I want to show her just how fucking crazy and wild she’s been driving me, but when my thumb meets her pussy, I don't feel any fabric.
She's completely bare. Where the fuck are her panties?
This is how I die.
“You're a naughty fucking, slut, aren't you, Trouble?” I grit out, slowly coating her clit with my spit.
Her movements stop, and I push her back a little to create enough space for me to slide two fingers through her arousal.
She's so fucking wet. I run my fingers up and down her wet pussy slowly, before bringing them back up to circle her throbbing clit.
“I'm sorry.”
“Sorry, what?”
“Sorry, Daddy!” Her eyes flutter shut as I work her, her mouth open as she gives herself to me, surrendering to the pleasure I'm giving her.
“You planned this, didn't you?” I murmur.
She shakes her head no, but I don't buy it.
There's nothing innocent about this woman, whether she's just learning this about herself or not.
She's always been in there somewhere. Hidden in the depths of her mind, waiting until she finally found me before breaking free.
“Please. I need to feel you inside me. West. I can't—”
“Shhh…” I soothe, as I gently push her back a little more, then situate my hand where it needs to be. “Are you sure you want this?”
“I'm sure about you.” That’s all I need to hear.
Before I can change my own mind and talk myself out of it, I sit upright.
My left arm locks around her frame to steady us both, then I pull her into me and crush my mouth to hers.
She gasps softly against my lips, the sound melting straight into the kiss as her hands come up, one holding tightly to my shoulder, the other gripping my hair.
The world narrows to the sweet, strawberry taste of her, the warmth of her body pressing against me as she parts her lips, our tongues brushing against each other in a heated frenzy.
This isn't like our first kiss back on the ship.
It's raw. Real. Unimaginable. Perfect. There is no audience.
It's just her and me, and I don't think I'll ever get enough.
I move my hand forward and pull back a little.
“Ride my fingers, baby,” I say, before sliding two fingers deep inside her warm, dripping pussy. She feels fucking divine as she sits herself onto me, her hips bucking, gently at first, before she starts to slide up and down, soaking my hand with her arousal.
“Oh my—Fuck!” she says, before slamming her mouth against mine, kissing me deeper, fucking my fingers back and forth completely unrestrained.
My thumb finds her clit. I'm fucking desperate for her.
I want her to feel just as undone as I do.
She moans and whimpers into my mouth, our heavy breaths entwining as our tongues tangle.
I know the moment she's about to come, because her breathing falters and I pull her bottom lip between my teeth, the friction of her above me, riding my fingers harder and harder has my cock throbbing, ready to explode.
Her hands are in my hair. On my back. Her nails dig deep into my skin through my t-shirt, claiming me, marking me as she climbs higher and higher, chasing her release.
Her clit is fucking throbbing for me, and I kiss her, lost to this euphoric feeling we're giving each other.
A feeling we're letting ourselves have. Just once.
Because this can't happen again. It just can't.
“Baby, I'm gonna come,” she moans against my lips, and I'm already there.
She called me baby. Her body tenses, her mouth parting as she loses herself, surrendering to me.
We're free falling. Floating weightless into each other as we come.
My cock jolting beneath her body, coating the inside of my jeans, but I don't fucking care.
Her cries are like a damn drug to me, hitting me like an impossible high that there's no fucking way I'm coming down from.
And when her movements slow, and the air between us stills, reality rears its ugly head and crashes into us.
Reminding me that it was never going to let us stay lost in this trance forever.
I pull back, gently removing my fingers from her pussy, then wrap my arms around her, pressing a short, tender kiss to her lips.
I reach for the straps of her nightie, covering her up and putting them back in place.
Then, I brace my arms on the sand behind me for support.
I don't trust myself not to touch her again.
I am going straight to hell. I practically threw myself into the fire, not caring at all about the burn and now I have to face the consequences.
“West—”
“Go inside, Jovi,” I say, interrupting her because if she stays like this another second, her legs wrapped around me, her smell all over me, I'm going to cross an even bigger line I most definitely cannot come back from.
“Look, I know that—”
“Baby…” I breathe out, my voice choking.
“I'm not strong enough to just stop here.
I'm not strong enough not to roll you over and fuck you into oblivion, so please.
Just… Don't make this any harder than it already is for me not to touch you.
To show you just how fucking badly I want you.
Baby, I'm gonna need you to be a good girl and walk away. Because I can't. He’s my son.” I hate myself the minute the words leave my mouth, but Jovi nods in understanding.
“Okay,” she whispers, before rising to her feet, picking up her blanket from the sand, and putting as much distance between her and me as she can as she walks back into the house.
He'll never forgive me for this.
I'm keeping so many things from him and I won't blame him if he never talks to me again.
But the worst part, the sick and twisted part of all this, is I don't regret it.
Not for a fucking second. Even though I know what's on the line.
Maybe that's the real sin, because I don't trust myself not to do it all again.