Chapter 35 #2
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to be around a bunch of pompous, washed-up has-beens anyway.
” Drake turns back to me with a smile. “Oh, and Savannah, if you decide to stick around for a while, come find me when you’re ready to be with a real man.
I’m sure one night with me will remind you why you left in the first place. ”
“Fuck you, Drake,” I say, knowing full well this is what he wants.
He wants to get under my skin, wants to antagonize me, and I know I shouldn’t let it show, but I don’t care.
Glancing around him, I look directly at the blonde and say, “If I were you, I’d run the other way before he places a bet on you, too.
This guy doesn’t know the first thing about being a man. ”
Her mouth falls open before she stalks away. That shuts down his laughter, and he glares my way before chasing after her.
“Well, that was fun,” Wolf’s voice rings out from behind us.
Brooks walks one step ahead of me, putting the same distance between us that wiggled its way in as the night went on.
His hands have been shoved deep in his pockets since we got out of the car, eyes trained on the carpet ahead of his feet.
Things had been fine until he disappeared backstage to prepare for his speech introducing “Top Dollar” Clarence Kennedy.
Clarence Kennedy, who donned the ring name “Top Dollar” Clarence Kennedy, was one of the first wrestlers Amos signed and developed in EWE under his leadership and is still a fan favorite.
Clarence stands a few inches shorter than Brooks, and since retiring five years ago, doesn’t maintain as much muscle mass, but he’s “always ready to answer the call and jump back in the ring.” Brooks gave a heartfelt speech about the impact “Top Dollar” had on his career, starting on his first day in NextGen sixteen years ago.
But from my seat, I could see there was something on his mind, and it wasn’t just the speech.
When Brooks returned to his seat following Clarence’s speech, I placed my hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze, but got nothing in return.
Eyes forward, he didn’t even seem to notice when I slipped my hand out of his, but Rae did.
So did Brody and Wolf at the after party as the space continued to grow, until he asked if I was ready to head back to the hotel.
“Tonight was fun,” I say after a moment of silence outside my room.
Brooks finally looks up, and his blue eyes are as dark as the deepest parts of the oceans.
Clearing his throat, he rocks back on his heels and crosses his arms. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“How could I resist a night with the Brooks Taylor?” It’s meant to be teasing. I hoped it would put a crack in his armor, and it does the trick because I see a twitch lift the corner of his mouth.
Brooks rolls his eyes and takes a step back, ready to turn and leave. “Goodnight, Savannah.”
That’s it? That’s all I get?
He starts to walk down the hallway, and the realization hits me that it’s now or never.
“Brooks,” I call out, and his feet plant firmly into the carpet, pausing his retreat, but he doesn’t turn around. “That’s it? After all of this…you’re just going to say goodnight and leave. Is this about what Drake said earlier, because if it is—”
“This has nothing to do with Drake.” He all but spits the name, scrubbing a hand down his face with a heavy sigh. “What do you want me to say, Savannah?”
I don’t know, but I know it’s not this. I know that I don’t want to walk away from this weekend without having bridged the gap between us a little.
“Look, it was never my intention to cause any confusion. I was—”
“Then what was your intention? Because if I’m being quite honest, it hasn’t been very clear the past ten years.”
Brooks scoffs. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black. You’ve been hot and cold from the second you stepped out of that curtain three weeks ago. One minute you want me to stay as far away from you as possible, and the next you’re begging me to fuck you.”
“Begging you to—”
“You want your cake and eat it too, Sav. You want to stay mad at me, but you want me in your back pocket at the same time, and I can’t—”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is!” Brooks takes a centering breath following his outburst. “I can’t do this.
I’m sorry that I’ve made things worse because I thought…
I thought we could try to be friends, or friendly, but the truth is, I don’t want to be your friend.
I can’t. I can’t just be friends with you, Savannah.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned these last few weeks, it’s that if you’re not mine, I can’t be in your life. ”
His confession knocks the breath from my lungs, and without waiting for an answer, he walks away.
I want to call out to him, beg him to come back and talk to me, but I can’t get his name past my lips. Tears burn my eyes as I watch him walk away, because this time I know it’s for good, and I feel the final piece of my heart crack.
Pushing inside my room, I fall on the edge of my bed.
When did my life become such a mess? A mess that I had been trying to avoid, but one that was almost certain to happen if I returned…
I’d hoped to have enough willpower to stay away from him.
To avoid this exact moment. If I’ve learned anything the past few weeks, it’s that I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame, ignoring the burn to fly a little closer to the sun.
The truth of the matter is, John has been honest with me on more than one occasion.
He’s told me how he feels—how he’s felt—but I haven’t done the same.
I haven’t been honest with him because I haven’t been honest with myself.
I thought I could fight these feelings that lingered, but… I can’t, and I don’t want to.
My fingers move on their own volition, dialing the number that I know will give me the one answer I don’t have. He answers, but I can barely hear him over the sounds of the party in the background. A minute later, the sounds fade into the background. “Sav, everything okay?”
“Brody, what’s his room number?”
There’s a soft chuckle from the other end of the line before he answers.
One foot in front of the other leads me down the hallway to the elevator bank and up two floors.
I can’t think about what I’m doing because if I do, I might turn around.
I need to do this. I have to. Counting the numbers on each door, I find the one I’m looking for.
It feels like an eternity before the door swings open after I knock.
“Dude, I’m not in the mood—” His words falter when his eyes meet mine. What is she doing here? I can practically hear the words just from the look in his eye.
He obviously thought it was Brody, or maybe Wolf. I know they’ve been texting him since we left the party. I could hear his phone buzz every few seconds on our way back to the hotel, but he ignored it, almost like he didn’t notice the messages flooding his screen. Too lost in his thoughts.
He crosses his arms, guarding the doorway. “Savannah, what are you doing here?”
“What if I don’t want to be friends?”
His gaze narrows. “What do you want to be?”
“Your last.” I step closer. “Your last first kiss, last first date, last time waking up next to someone new, the last hand you reach for in the dark, and the person you tell all of your secrets to and not worry if it’s too heavy.
I want to be the last woman you come home to and your last I love you…
Because I do, John.” Tears cloud my vision as I let the words flow freely.
I had no idea what I was going to say when he opened the door.
I had no plan other than to knock and hope he answered.
“I love you, and I’m sorry that I let my fear of the future and the unknown get in the way of this…
Us. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain, not really.
I had already made my mind up, and it wasn’t fair.
I’m sorry I ran, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned the last few weeks, it’s that I can’t be friends with you, either. Not if it means I can’t love you.”
John stands there a moment longer than I hoped before he stoops down to claim my mouth in a hard kiss.
He kisses me like an answered prayer. An all-consuming, mind-erasing kiss that will be imprinted in the depths of my brain for the rest of my life.
Fire spreads throughout my system, overtaking all thoughts I had moments before.
The only thing that matters right now is the way his body feels pressed against mine, the way his mouth feels on mine, and the desperate ache growing in my chest to be one with him.
A soft whimper spills from my parted lips when he pulls away, his teeth grazing my bottom lip. His thumb swipes across my cheek, discarding the tear I hadn’t even noticed trailing from my eye.
“It’s always been you, Sweetheart,” he whispers. “It will always be you. And as long as you’ll have me, I’ll choose you every day for the rest of my life.”
With a crooked finger, he tilts my chin up and pulls me forward into a kiss much softer than before. I melt into him as he kisses me again and again, until gentle kisses turn needy and hungry.
John tugs me by the hand over the threshold of his room, letting the door close behind us, not a care in the world that its slam echoes down the hall.
My hands grip the front of his shirt, making busy work of the buttons, and I shove it off his shoulders.
The fabric catches on his biceps, but he slips his arms free, and it falls to his feet in a white heap.
The pad of his thumb skates across my bottom lip, and the corners of his mouth tug upward.
“I love you, Savannah Josefine Williams.”
I don’t answer with words; instead, closing the gap between us again, tasting the hint of red wine on his tongue from the single glass he had at the party.
I take my time, letting my fingers slide up his bare chest, re-memorizing every crevice, every ridge, every mark that makes him…
him. That’s when I notice the new scar on his shoulder.
The one from his surgery in March, after I left.
My fingers ghost over the discolored line, but he gathers them in his hand, bringing them to his lips.
“I’m okay,” he whispers.
“I called,” I say. “Ari. I called Ari. When it happened.”
“I know.” John smiles. “She told me.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve—”
He cuts me off with a kiss. “I love you.”
One of his hands braces the wall. The other tangles in my hair to tilt my head back, angling my neck to give him full access to my throat.
His mouth moves from my mouth to my jaw, down the column of my throat, and sucks the skin at my collarbone between his teeth.
His tongue laps over the bite before his teeth find the skin again, repeating until I’m sure the skin becomes discolored.
I should push him away, tell him to stop, or Anna from the makeup department will have my head tomorrow, but the feeling is too good.
John gently bunches my dress in his hands, lifting it off the ground, and nudges my legs apart. His eyes follow the trail his right hand leaves, disappearing beneath the red fabric. I gasp when his fingers graze the wet fabric of my underwear. “Shit, you’re fucking soaked. That’s all for me?”
I nod, biting down on my bottom lip, but gasp when one of his fingers slips inside and over my slit.
John leans down to whisper in my ear, “Tell me what you want, Savannah.”
He parts me with his fingers, dipping inside me, and my body reacts immediately, clenching around him. It’s been far too long since I felt his touch.
“Fuck,” I moan, gripping his shoulders. “You, John. I want you.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” His mouth finds my neck again, just below my ear.
With my eyes screwed shut, my head falls back as his thumb circles my clit.
He continues to pump his fingers in and out of me, and I grind against him, desperate for release.
The burning weight in my stomach grows stronger as his mouth moves down my throat and my shoulders, to the swell of my breasts.
The sweet glint of arousal coats his fingers when he rips them from me without warning. His eyes darken at the sight before sucking them clean. A hum of satisfaction, his eyes roll into the back of his head, before meeting my stare.
“I was so fucking close.”
“I know,” he says, the hint of a smirk on his lips.
“But the first time you come isn’t going to be on my fingers or my tongue, Sweetheart.
It’s going to be wrapped around my cock.
I want to watch you as you come undone, feel your pussy milk me for everything I’ve got, because there hasn’t been a day the last two years that I haven’t thought about this moment.
” His eyes soften, a new level of emotion filling them.
“You can’t imagine how many times I thought about jumping on a plane and flying to Texas to bring you home. ”
Home. The sting of tears coats my vision. Celestia isn’t home anymore. Hell, it isn’t even at EWE. It’s right here…with him.
“I love you, John Brooks,” I whisper, tears brimming in my eyes. He wipes away one that falls down my cheek.
“Say it again,” he pleads.
I repeat the words, and his eyes flutter closed. “I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”
Warm hands slide down my back, palming my ass, he lifts me off my feet and slings my legs over his hips. My hands lock together at the base of his skull before I lean in close. Breath mingling. Hearts pounding. Our lips brush, but we don’t close the gap yet.
John’s gaze drops to the space between us, and his fingers dig into the flesh of my thighs, underneath the fabric of my dress. His throat bobs, swallowing hard, before he lifts his gaze back to mine. “You have too many clothes on.”