Chapter 6
I”m humming along to a country song on the radio under a busted Chevy when Wes saunters over, leaning against the car.
“So gotta ask, man—what”s the deal with you and this babe you’ve been helping? It’s Claire, isn’t it?” he asks with a smirk. “You”re going all out helping her grandmother. Isn’t she the one you dated in high school? Got it bad for her again, huh?”
I scowl and tighten a bolt harder than necessary. “Just trying to be a decent guy. And enough with the questions! What”s it to you?”
Wes holds his hands up in mock defense. “Hey, sorry. Didn’t realize you were so touchy about it. You can sure serve it up, but you don’t like to take it.”
Roman laughs as Wes walks away. “Kid”s finally growing up. Told you meeting the right one would change things. If he makes this work, we’ll have to stop calling him Kid.”
“That’ll be the day!” Mack roars in laughter.
“Damn straight, you’ll stop calling me Kid. I’ve never liked that in the first place.” I bristle at their teasing, but I can”t deny they”re right. Being around Claire has shifted something in me. Made me want to be better. “I’m going to take an early lunch,” I call out, not waiting for anyone to try and stop me.
It hits me at lunch, waiting for my burger—I can”t be happy unless Claire”s part of my life again. I need to be vulnerable and explain what made me sabotage our relationship after we graduated high school.
I grab my phone to text her but stop. Too impersonal. This needs to be a conversation.
Heart pounding, I call her. “Hey, can we talk tonight?”
* * *
I pace anxiouslyoutside the diner where we first shared milkshakes as teenagers. This was always our place. I rub my palms against my jeans, checking my fingernails to make sure I got all the car grease cleaned off.
I swallow hard when her car pulls up. This won’t be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.
Claire steps out, looking uncertain. “Hey, Quincy. What’s up?”
I shove my hands into my pockets. “There are things I need to say to you.”
Claire crosses her arms protectively but nods for me to continue.
“Let’s go get a table,” I say, opening the door for her.
Our knees bump under the scratched Formica table as we settle into our seats. A bolt of desire pierces me, making my knee bounce under the table. I can’t put into words how much I’ve missed having her in my arms, feeling her soft body pressed against mine.
“First off, I was an idiot for how I acted when I joined the Army. Thought I didn”t need anyone. But the truth is, I should”ve included you in that decision. You deserved that.”
Claire”s expression softens, and her eyes fill with sadness. “You made me feel like I didn’t matter to you.”
“You did. So damn much,” I say, my voice almost breaking. “But I was scared. Of needing someone. Needing you.” I look down, ashamed. “I thought distancing myself would hurt less than sticking around and inevitably losing you later. Plus, my dad was riding me to enlist and serve, which you knew I wanted, too. The Walkers are military men, so the thought of not serving voluntarily was…” I shake my head, searching for the right words. “Saying my dad would have been pissed is an understatement. I wanted you so much, but I was scared of what it would mean if I didn’t enlist. When it came time to choose, I fucked up. I made the wrong choice.”
Claire looks at me, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. Seeing her emotions so exposed brings out a fierceness in me that tells me this is right. She’s the woman for me. I don’t even talk like this to my brother.
After we order, I meet her eyes again. “You were the best thing in my life, Claire. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I”ve ever made.”
Claire is quiet, taking this in. I hold my breath, terrified I”ve said too much.
Finally, she speaks. “I wish you”d told me all this back then.” A tear runs down her cheek.
I take a shaky breath and lean across the table to wipe it away. I”ve revealed my biggest regret about the past. But if I want a real second chance, Claire needs to truly understand all the foolish insecurities that led to my mistakes.
“There”s more I should explain about back then,” I say hesitantly. “Stuff I don’t like talking about.”
Claire nods, a patient look in her eyes. “Okay. I”m listening.”
I exhale and continue. “So you may have heard I never got through basic training. I was kicked out halfway through because I landed wrong on my knee during a training exercise, and it shattered.”
I pause for a moment to steady my emotions. Maybe having this talk in public wasn’t the greatest idea. “Coming from generations of military men, it crushed me,” I explain. “The Army was supposed to be me continuing the legacy of the men in my family. When I came home, I felt lost. Worthless.”
Claire”s expression fills with sadness. She reaches across the table and lays her hand comfortingly over mine.
“Quincy, why didn”t you tell me any of this?” she asks softly.
I stare down at our hands, ashamed. “When I came home, you were gone. I was too stubborn to find you, and your friend Tessa just shut me down. She’s protective of you.”
I look back up at Claire, meeting her blueeyes with an intent gaze. “But the worst decision I ever made was leaving you. These years without you in my life have haunted me, Claire.”
Her eyes glisten, but she stays silent, letting me continue my long-overdue apology.
My voice cracks with emotion. I clasp Claire”s hands tightly and stare intently into her eyes, willing her to truly hear me. “But I”m begging you, Claire, please give me a chance to make things right between us. Let me prove I”ve grown into the man you deserve.”
Claire looks uncertain as she gently withdraws her hands from mine. “I don”t know, Quincy...you really hurt me when you left. I loved you so much. Then suddenly, you were gone.”
Her voice wavers with restrained hurt. I ache knowing I caused that pain.
“You”re absolutely right,” I say wretchedly. “I should have talked to you and included you in the decision to enlist. But I was only thinking of myself. I was too pigheaded to ask for help or lean on someone else.”
I rake my hands through my hair, frustration at my younger self mounting. “It was the stupidest, most cowardly thing I”ve ever done. And it”s haunted me ever since.”
Claire wraps her arms around herself, seeming to fold in on herself protectively. “It”s not just that you left...it was how easily you tossed me aside after I gave you my whole heart. I felt so betrayed.”
Seeing her closed-off body language, I”m desperate to break through her lingering doubts. To make her truly understand how deeply I”ve regretted losing her.
I slide out of my side of the booth and move to Claire”s side, kneeling on the cracked linoleum floor beside her. I gently grasp her hands again, meeting her uncertain gaze unwaveringly. “Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life, Claire. I swear to you, I never stopped loving you.”
Claire”s eyes glisten with restrained tears. She starts to look away, but I cup her cheek, guiding her gaze back to mine.
“It was always you, Claire,” I profess ardently. “No one else has ever come close to what we had. What we could have again if you give me another chance.”
I search her eyes, heart pounding wildly. Claire stays silent for endless moments.
Finally, she whispers, “Do you really mean all that, Quincy?”
Her voice is thick with emotion. I cling to the spark of hope I see in her eyes.
Still kneeling, I clasp both of Claire”s hands. “I mean every single word. I know I screwed up badly in the past, but I”ve grown since then. Tell me what I need to do—anything—to prove myself to you. I”m asking for another chance to be the man you deserve, Claire. Please.”
The tense set of Claire”s shoulders finally relaxes. She nods slowly, eyes shining with tentative warmth.
“Okay. I”m willing to give this—to give us—another chance.” She strokes my cheek tenderly. “No more hiding things, though. We need honesty when hard things happen.”
Relief and gratitude wash over me in dizzying waves. Unable to form words, I stand and pull Claire into my arms. I kiss her urgently, pouring all my suppressed longing into it.
Claire responds eagerly, her fingers tangling in my hair. Our kiss deepens, and the people in the diner cheer and clap. Holding Claire against my body is the best feeling in the world, and I never want to let go.
“Always.”