36. Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Six
Madison
It had been three weeks since I left The Gem and I spent every single day hiding in my sister’s house. On the down side, I was losing my mind. Not having anything to do was not for me. But on the bright side, I made a new friend. Daphne followed me around the house and I had to admit that it felt good having the little one’s affection.
While I played the role of the heartbroken aunt with the existential crisis, Hannah gave birth to little baby Oliver. I only saw him once, the day they brought him back from the hospital. My mother was ecstatic and paid the new parents way too many visits, but I was glad that kept her off my back. Not that she didn’t occasionally call and interrogate me about what happened to Parker, but her heart wasn’t into it. She was distracted. Her boy had a son now .
“Come with us to the bakery,” Clem said as she tried to catch Daphne. My niece came up with a new game two days ago. She ran laps around the coffee table, using it for support, whenever someone tried to get her to do anything she didn’t want to.
And at that moment, her mother balanced two bags and one coffee to go. Driving around with Daphne strapped in the backseat was the only time she could actually drink it while it was still warm.
“I don’t feel like going out.”
I felt like staring at Parker’s last text for the rest of the day. I know why you left , it said. He sent it a few hours after he accused me of being a coward with his previous message. I left both texts unanswered.
“Please,” my sister begged. “I need help with Daphne and all of this,” she lifted the bags a little bit higher.
I looked at her as if I was thinking about it, but the second Daphne came close enough to me, I grabbed her and lifted her up in the air, while she giggled with the most adorable laugh. And it was all for me.
Who knew I could make a child happy? Not me. But putting a smile on Daphne’s face made me feel alive and present like nothing ever did.
We went to Clem’s bakery, where I helped with Daphne while my sister talked to her employees, then on our way home we decided to stop at Hannah and Tyler’s for a bit.
I expected to find two barely awake adults who smelled funny. Instead I found the happiest parents of a newborn I had ever seen.
“You two look freakishly relaxed,” I noted as we stepped inside and Daphne forgot all about my existence the moment she saw Tyler. He picked her up and totally ignored everyone else.
Clem took baby Oliver from Hannah’s arms immediately after and walked away. And that left me and my brother’s baby momma alone.
She pointed to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Water. ”
She poured two glasses and we sat at their dining table.
“How are you doing lately?” Hannah asked in her usual polite way.
“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you? You just had a baby.” I waited for her to start talking about Oliver but she didn’t and I continued. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Really. I’m a lone wolf. Parker is a family guy. We’re not a good fit. He needs someone to be there for him. And we all can agree I’m not that person.”
Hannah tilted her head. “Madison, I get that you might like your independence and that you are attached to it. In a way that makes you a lone wolf. But you take care of your own. Whenever someone needed help, you showed up.”
“Never on time to prevent the disaster though. I almost single handedly ruined Clem’s wedding.”
“Everyone makes mistakes. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re not perfect. No one is.” Hannah leaned back in her chair, studying me with a gentle gaze.
I had already come to that conclusion on my own, but it still terrified me. Perfection was something I chased my entire life but lately I was trying to shift to chasing connection. It worked with Daphne.
“Clem told me you put in a lot of effort with Daphne,” Hannah said. “You have a big heart, Madison, even if you try to hide it under that tough exterior.”
I shook my head. “Parker decided not to tell me about the baby for a reason. He must have come to the same conclusion as I have. I’m not the right person to replace Franny.”
I now realized I shouldn’t have compared myself to her at all, but the thought that Parker compared us two tightened my chest every time .
“First of all,” Hannah’s voice became firm. “Parker wasn’t looking for someone to replace Franny. Second of all, him not telling you about the baby came from his own issues and had nothing to do with you.”
We locked eyes for a moment, then I summoned the courage to ask. “You’ve seen him?”
“Once. He came to see Oliver. He looked devastated.”
“Then why isn’t he reaching out?”
“Maybe you should reach out,” Hannah suggested.
“Maybe. But I’m focusing on work now.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I think I’ll stay in California.”
“Really? That’s amazing.”
“It would be stupid to go back to New York after all this time and after planning Annie Foster’s wedding, I think I owe it to myself to try to work for myself. Does it make any sense?”
“It does. Have you told Clem and Tyler you’re thinking about staying?”
“Not yet. Clem is so busy with the bakery and Daphne. And I didn’t want to take the attention away from Oliver. I’ll tell them.”
Tyler and Daphne entered the kitchen then with the latter climbing in my lap. I smiled at her and kissed her nose.
“So? What about you two? How are you really doing with a newborn and all?”
Hannah’s eyes softened as she looked over at Tyler. “It’s been a whirlwind, but I’ve never felt more grateful and content.”
“You really look at peace. I wish I had that,” I said quietly.
Hannah reached across the table and placed her hand on mine. “You will.”
** *
My mother whirled around the empty office space I had just rented and made a face.
“What?” I asked.
“Isn’t it a downgrade, honey? From The Gemstone and Annie Foster’s wedding to this?”
I could get into an argument or rent another office to appease her, but maybe it was time for me to accept the fact that my mother was always going to find something to be dissatisfied about and that had more to do with her, than with me.
“I know it’s not perfect, and that’s okay, Mom. I don’t need perfection.” I repeated the words Parker once told me. I knew she wouldn’t understand even if I spent my afternoon explaining, so I continued. “I have a meeting with an A-list couple tomorrow that I can’t name. They could be my first clients.”
“You’re meeting them here?” she asked, her horror evident in her voice.
“No, not here.”
“Oh, thank God. This place needs a complete makeover. Do you need help cleaning up?”
“You want to clean?”
“No, but I can help you hire someone.”
“I think I want to clean it on my own.” I had never worked alone until that moment, and it felt strange but at the same time exciting. “It’s the first time I’m not someone else’s employee. I want the full experience.” My mother looked at me like I had lost my mind and I patted her hand. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Good. Because I don’t. ”
“I know.”
Sylvia cleared her throat and I knew that I was about to hear something I wouldn’t like. “I’ve been thinking. Remember George? The realtor? From my gym?”
“It’s hard to forget a man that you forced on me despite my clear refusal to go on a date with him.”
“Water under the bridge,” she waved me off and with a laugh. “He has a girlfriend now. Anyway, there is a house listed for sale.” I rolled my eyes, but she didn’t stop. “It’s close by. I’ve already seen it. You’re going to love it.” I shook my head at her but she looked at me with sympathy. “I just want to help you. That’s all. You don’t want to tell me about Parker and how it all ended, and I respect that.” I sent her a look of disbelief and she continued, “Okay, fine. I’m trying to respect it even though I’m dying to know. Have you noticed I haven’t mentioned him in a while?”
“Like you’re not mentioning him now?”
My mother took my hand in hers and squeezed. “I just want to help, honey. There is one thing you still haven’t learned how to do.”
There it was again. The inevitable criticism. This time however I felt relatively calm. Almost like it didn’t really matter what she might say about me. I was who I was and whether she liked it or not, it wouldn’t affect my life one bit. I wondered what Parker would say about my progress.
“What is that?” I asked.
“How not to overwhelm yourself with things that other people can do for you.”
She looked so serious as she shared her wisdom with me that I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“Okay, Mom. I’ll go look at the house George is selling.”
She squealed happily and hooked her hand around my elbow. “Now, let’s talk about that nonsense with the cleaning.”