8. Finn
Chapter 8
Finn
I t’s our first week back on campus and I’m trying to wrap my mind around how different things are compared to last semester. As far as everyone else on campus is concerned, things are the same, minus the change in relationship with Eloise, but inside I feel different.
What even is the point of school? I used to be excited about being here before. It was easy for me to find things to enjoy. Now, the campus looks all grey and lifeless. So do the people going about their day to day. My shoulder jostles as someone bumps into me. My hand whips out. I grab them by the collar, pulling them towards me and my knife.
The sharp point is at his jugular before I remember that I’m in the middle of The Circle with people standing around. His Adam’s apple bobs, his eyes fill with tears. He’s fisting a campus map and looks way too young to be here. Shit, he’s like fresh outta high school.
I shove him away with a warning. “Watch where you’re going, kid.”
“Terrorizing the freshman already? That won’t be good for your fraternity’s hospitality scores.”
My head moves left to right, trying to figure out who has the nerve to talk to me. I spot Austin a few feet away, lazily tossing a football to Connor. I haven’t seen either of them since the day they stood behind LJ when she confronted us about Thea’s absence. She pissed me off by accusing me of having something to do with it, but also earned my respect because nobody else would have done that shit to my face. It’s a testament to how much Thea means to them.
“Beta Psi has nothing to worry about.” I’m lying. We have tons to worry about. The fraternities that redid their pledge season last year picked up some really strong candidates. Some of them were people we’ve dismissed because they didn’t have the right pedigree.
I never gave a shit about that kind of stuff before, but Thea made me realize how small-minded we were being. Even before we found out about her connection to The League, I could tell she’d be an asset to any of the sororities. I guess that’s why her being invited to pledge Zeta Nu didn’t throw up any red flags for me.
With that thought in mind, I walk over to Connor and Austin and hold up my hands, signaling for them to toss me the football. They give me a weird look, but let me join the game. The repetitive motion of moving my hands keeps me from fixating on my problems, letting my rage consume me, and looking for someone else to hunt down and bleed. Austin catches the ball and tucks it under his arm, before pointing to something over my shoulder. “LJ’s here.”
Connor and I turn, watching her walk our way. “Hey guys, thanks for waiting for me.” She slows her approach as she spots me. “What’s going on? Have you heard from Thea?”
“Nope. Just here tossing the ball around.”
She glances over at Austin for confirmation, then asks, “Where’s the rest of them?”
I didn’t even think about checking on Holden or Pax before heading this way. “Busy.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, we’re heading to lunch. We’ll see you around, I guess.”
I fall into step with them, informing her, “I’m ready to eat too.” She shares another look with Austin, before shrugging and launching into a conversation about her class schedule. I stand in line with them to order my food, then head towards my usual table to wait for my food to arrive. I’m on autopilot when the person walks up with my tray, and motion towards an empty chair. Everyone’s settling in. The table groupings and hierarchy falling into place like it’s supposed to.
Pax enters the dining hall, with Eloise trailing behind him. I was enjoying my meal until they showed up. Holden and I promised to keep up appearances in public. I didn’t expect to have to bring out my acting skills so soon, and definitely not while sitting at the table with them, alone.
Eloise smiles, her attention on the end of the table. I follow her gaze to where Thea used to sit. Oh, hell no! “Get the fuck up!”
A hush falls over the dining hall. I don’t care that I’m about to make a scene. It’s what I do. They should all be used to it. My full stare is on the person who has the fucking audacity to sit in Thea’s seat.
The girl looks beyond me before saying, “Eloise gave me permission to sit at this table.”
Oh, did she now? Pax and Eloise want to play these games? Fine, I’ll play. I was gonna tell her to find another chair, but since she’s Eloise’s puppet, I have a different idea. Smirking at her, I say, “Apologies.”
I force myself to choke down the rest of my food and wait until the girl finishes eating. She rises from her seat, and I wait thirty seconds before doing the same. People are paying attention and will whisper about me running after her. “Hey!” I call out to her once I’m outside.
She stops and spins to face me. I don’t miss how she looks over my shoulder again before meeting my eyes. “I wanted to apologize again for what happened in there.”
I smile to put her at ease. I haven’t had to use this smile in a while. It feels weird. But I have a point to make. “I- I’m having a bit of a bad day, and reacted badly to seeing someone new at the table. I hadn’t spoken to Eloise yet, so I didn’t know you’d be joining us.”
I wait for the guarded look in her eyes to drop, then take a step closer. I reach out my hand and place it on her shoulder. Giving it a comforting squeeze. “Forgive me for my rudeness, mon chéri?”
“Sure.” Her head bobs up and down. “You’re forgiven.”
“Really?” I stroke my hand down her arm. “You don’t look like you-” I squeeze her shoulder again, “Forgive me.” I say as I tip her chin up. “There’s no smile on that pretty little face of yours.” I softly brush my knuckle across her cheek.
“Yes, really.”
“I still don’t see a-” I repeat the gestures of tipping up her chin. “Smile.” And brushing my knuckles across her cheek. “On this pretty little face.”
She blushes and smiles. “That’s better.” I coo, stroking down her arm and squeezing her shoulder.
“I, um, need to head to the bookstore.”
“Okay.”
“I guess I’ll see you at dinner.”
“I guess you will.” I tip her chin up once more. She smiles, then turns and walks away. She doesn’t even realize what happened. You’d think Eloise or someone would warn these girls not to let me touch them, but oh well. Her ignorance works in my favor. She’s on Team Eloise right now. By the time I’m done with her, she won’t so much as take a shit without asking me for permission.
This isn’t the way I expected this semester to start off, but stealing all of Eloise’s little friends seems like a reason to enjoy school again. Who knows, they might even yield some promising leads for me to follow.
I make my way towards the dorm, softly singing, “Tear drops on cement and whimpers on suspects. Bright copper blood and gashes and scratches. A room full of liars, tied up and bleeding. These are a few of my fav-or-ite things.”
Pax
It’s the first lunch gathering with all legacies in attendance this semester, and shit has already hit the fan. I hadn’t even sat my ass down in my chair before Finn went on a warpath over some chick I don’t even know. He would’ve said his peace and been done with it, but she had to go and say the one thing to make the situation worse. “Eloise said.”
I thought Finn was gonna go ballistic. Instead, he apologized and calmly finished his meal. I knew some shit was about to go down when he ran after her. By the time I got outside, the girl was walking off, waving at him over her shoulder. He either didn’t see me standing there watching, or chose to ignore me. Either way, he was in a better mood after talking to her, humming as he headed towards the dorms. Humming or any other musical activity by Finn is never a good thing. I’ve been standing here trying to decide if I should ask him what he’s up to.
“I was still eating. Why didn’t you wait for me?” Eloise asks, as she comes to stand beside me.
Maybe Finn was on to something. I’m fighting the urge to pretend I don’t see or hear her. She’s the one who thinks we need to show up for everything together. I’d just as soon leave her behind, which I’ve been doing. It’s like she’s got spies out looking for me, because the minute I think I’m getting a break from her, here she comes, running up behind me. Instead of answering her question, I ask my own. “Why didn’t you tell me you invited someone to sit at my table?”
“Rachel is a friend of mine.” She says, like it matters.
“Is that supposed to mean something to me? Because it doesn’t. Now answer the question.”
“I’m allowed to have friends sit with me, Pax.”
I advance on her. “Last time I’m gonna say it. Answer. My. Fucking. Question.”
“I didn’t tell you, because I don’t have to. It’s my table too, and I can have friends sit with me. Holden said so last year.”
“He never said that.”
“Oh, but he did when he said it was okay for the psychotic little trash whore and her friends to sit at the legacy table.”
She folds her arms across her chest and smirks at me, as if she’s won this round. So I remind her of the rest of his statement. “If I remember the rest of that conversation, it was something along the lines of him rewarding Thea for how well she handled his cock.” I pull out my phone. “Shall I get him on the line and let him know you’re putting in a request?”
The smirk falls from her face. “That’s not funny, Pax.”
“Am I laughing?”
The overly confident tone is missing from her next words. “You can’t do that. I’m your fiancé.”
“Let’s get one thing straight, Eloise. Right now, you’re just a name on a piece of paper going through the vetting process. The League can decide to line it out and put someone else’s name in its place. The only thing that’s confirmed is your designation as my companion. Now, unless the rules have changed since my last companion, then that means you’re here to make my life easier. Picking a fight with me doesn’t make things easy. Neither does intentionally trying to piss off Finn, your last companion and fiancé.” I open my hands wide, palms out, in supplication. “Now, if you have a death wish, by all means, fuck with him.”
“You won’t let him hurt me. It’s your job as my companion to protect me.”
“Mmm. Yes, but you’re also a Wren on an opposing team, which makes you our competition. There are no rules that supersede that.”
With that final thought, I walk off towards the parking garage. I need time away from campus. On my bike, I can slip through alleyways and narrow lanes where she can’t follow. When I’m racing or going fast, the noise quiets in my head and I feel invincible. Like I can truly outrun all my problems.