43. Pax
Chapter 43
Pax
“ W hy doesn’t anyone fucking respect my wishes around here?” Thea mutters when she’s a few feet away from me. “I thought I was clear the last time, Pax. I don’t want to see you or have anything to do with you.”
I don’t care that she doesn’t want to see me. I just needed to put my eyes on her to make sure she’s okay. And it turns out I need to hear the words. I need to hear her say she’s free, and not that she’s here under my father’s control.
“That’s kind of hard to do, since we’re in the same secret society. An organization that demands we interact with and form alliances with each other. ”
“If you’re here to explain the legacy rules again, like you did last year, don’t bother.”
“I just want to clear the air, Thea.”
“We did that the last time outside of my dorm.”
“No. We didn’t. You told me what you heard me say and accused me of being with Eloise all along.”
“And you didn’t deny any of it.”
“Some things shouldn’t need to be said, Thea.”
“And some things should never be said. But that didn’t stop you.” Shaking her head, she says, “I don’t wanna fight about this. I’ve already dealt with it.” The sides of her lips tip up. “And it turns out you were right. You’re not the only one who thinks the baby incubator angle was worth pursuing.”
“He touched you?” The words are out before I can stop them. My gaze drops to her stomach as my nightmare comes roaring back. A caustic sound rips the air out of my lungs and the rest of my heart out with it.
“He who? You gotta be more specific, Pax. I was touched a lot while I was locked away.”
No. Please, god, no. “My f-” Her eyes narrow into slits and I bite off the rest of the word. “My friends were worried about you.” I say, trying to cover my slip up. “You said you didn’t trust me to pick you up from jail, but why didn’t you call someone as soon as you were arrested?”
She’s still staring at my face, as if trying to read my mind. How I wish she could. “They don’t give phone calls to inmates who don’t exist.”
What does that even mean? “And you were in jail in Riverside County all this time? Since the day of your final semester challenge?”
I know what the council said. I know what she’s said, but the League of the Daggered Ravens has people in the judicial system. Wouldn’t they have been alerted to her arrest? The only place people go to disappear is Rockridge. That’s even more true now that people have actually disappeared from there.
Her words are the same as they were in that classroom. “I was detained all this time.”
Is that the truth? Was she really in jail the whole time she was away? Am I locked in this contract with Eloise based on a lie? Or is this the story my father came up with to cover his tracks? Is she back because she took his deal?
Staring down at her, I try to dissect the look on her face. It’s one I know all too well. The one she tried so hard to hide after Mayhem Night. The one I spent time in the ring studying while letting her take swings at me.
“Are you here to appease your conscience?” She asks, breaking our stare off. “If so, don’t bother. In case I didn’t make it clear before, I don’t give a shit that you were fucking Eloise the whole time I was your companion. I won’t be going after her or anything like that. I’m just glad we always used protection, and I didn’t walk away with an STD.”
She thinks I’m here about Eloise? That’s pretty fucking insulting. She should know me better than that. “It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t planned. Eloise and I just… happened. I took my oath to you as my companion seriously, and our time together was special to me.”
“Oh, puleeze.” She drawls.
“I was faithful to our companion oath while you were here. This deal just fell in my lap.”
Her lips pull into a tight smile. “Right, because that’s the lie you’re telling everyone, isn’t it? That you drafted a deal with Eloise’s father that was better than the one Finn’s family was offering?”
Her chin juts up. “We can stop with all pretenses now, since it’s just you and me standing here. Come on Paxton. Be man enough to admit that Eloise was your endgame all along.”
“That wasn’t.” I sigh, knowing that I can’t explain myself without risking the entire story coming out. “I wanted to break the news to you about Eloise myself, but no one knew where you were.” I clench my hands, fighting the urge to grab her and hold her. To tell her that my contract with Eloise doesn’t mean shit. That everything I’m doing is to protect her. But I can’t. Not when doing so might put her or my friends in more danger.
She waves her finger back and forth between us. “Now, if you’re done with whatever this is. Get the hell out of my way and stay away from me.”
I step aside, letting her go, her words, Stay away from me, break me, but it’s the drawn look on her face. The flat stare, and dark circles under her eyes as if she isn’t getting enough sleep. The sharp angles of her cheeks that speak to the weight she’s lost, and that her baggy clothes do little to hide, that is my complete undoing.
I didn’t think there was anything left of my heart to rip out, but there was, and she did it without even knowing it. I watch her retreating form until she’s out of sight, then turn towards the street where I parked my bike.
I need a drink.
Finn
The hooded figure slips into the alley, pressing his body against the wall, letting the shadows obscure his features. I can appreciate a healthy level of stalking, but this fucker has picked the wrong girl.
I wait for Thea to cross the street, then slip up behind him. I don’t even bother with my usual flourish. I have him pinned to the wall, knife to his gut before he can react.
“Dammit, Finn!”
His tone enrages me. He has the nerve to sound pissed off when I’ve caught him in the act? “Is your accomplice on the way, or is she already inside Thea’s house?”
“What? I’m here alone, Finn, and I’m not a threat to Thea.”
“Pax, you’ve shown time and time again that you are the biggest threat to Thea.” I tighten the pressure of my forearm against this throat. “Why are you following my girl? Did Eloise send you here to find her challenge items so she can sabotage her? Did you think Thea would be easy since you have history?”
“I came here tonight to talk.”
“Does that mean tomorrow night’s the night you do more than talk?” He glares at me. So fucking what? It’s a valid question.
“I’m not trying to sabotage her, Finn. Thea and I needed to resolve some things. I didn’t want things to be awkward at our league meetings and social events, since I’m with Eloise.”
I listened to their conversation. It was full of subtext. When you’ve witnessed or conducted enough interrogations, it’s easy to spot when one is happening. It’s in the way you phrase the answer in a question.
He has some fucking nerve questioning her. Thea’s not a liar. She has a way of avoiding having to admit the truth, that would drive a lawyer crazy, but she’s never lied. The arrest report is all over my Prospectus feed, and Holden dug up a copy of the transfer order sticking her in solitary confinement.
Pax has never trusted Thea, but he should at least trust The League’s official statement. He doesn’t, which means he knows something, and I want to know what that something is.
“I’m not gonna hurt Thea.”
“You already did. Multiple times.”
“That wasn’t me. That was-”
“Your companion?” He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t need to. We both know it’s true. “So, spell this out for me, Pax. You came here alone, skulking around in the shadows with your hood up, to smooth things over with Thea. Your whole reason for being here is to get her to accept your relationship with Eloise. The girl who has been nothing but a bitch to her since day one?”
“I’m honoring my oath, Finn. I don’t give a shit if you like it or not.” He gives a derisive snort as he looks down at the blade I’m still holding against him. “Are you done acting like a psychopath, or is this going to get bloody?”
I’m always prepared for bloody, but I step aside. “I hope you got whatever closure you needed, because in case Thea wasn’t clear enough, I’ll double down on her words. Stay the fuck away from her.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then the next time you come across me in a dark alley, you won’t be walking out of it.”
I take a step back, watch him jog down the street to his bike, and wait until he’s on it before heading to my car. Pax must think I’m an idiot. As if I couldn’t see through that bullshit excuse he just gave me for why he was here. He wanted to talk to Thea, sure, but it’s whatever shit he didn’t come right out and say that’s eating away at him.
Holden tried to talk about Pax last summer, but I didn’t want to hear that shit. I was pissed about him “stealing” Eloise away from me. Meaning, I was pissed that his actions meant my plans for Thea went to shit. But Pax was shaking tonight, and I’m not so cocky as to think it was because he was scared of me. He’s not. Never has been.
Tonight just reinforces my theory that something strange is going on around here, and I’m even more convinced that Pax is in the middle of it. He won’t be able to hide what it is for much longer.