Chapter 39
THE REAL ME
Killian
Blood thundered in my ears. The craving to kill my stepbrother reached a new high as he pinned Lexi against a tree, his fingers around her throat. I wanted to rip his head from his body with my bare fucking hands. I probably could with all the rage pummeling my insides.
“Let go of her, or I’ll make you wish you were never born, Sebastian.”
His arrogant laugh echoed through the sparse trees like a hyena’s call. “The knight in shining armor to the rescue.” Sarcasm dripped from his words as a manic edge sliced every syllable. “But you’re no hero, are you, Kill? You’re just as fucked up as me.”
“No one is as twisted as you,” Lexi snarled, trying to shove him off. She put up a good front, but her fear peeked through when Bass’s grip tightened.
“She’s not the girl you’re looking for. You’ve already screwed up enough this semester.
” I inched closer with slow, measured steps while Lexi’s struggling distracted him.
As agitated as he was, he could seriously hurt her.
He had absolutely no control when he was like this.
“Do you really want to make another mistake? It won’t be me cleaning up your mess this time. It’ll be your father.”
His head snapped in my direction, lips curling back. “Go to hell, Killian. You’d be nothing without my family and—”
Lexi crushed her foot into his shin and broke his grip, but as she ran to me, he snagged her long auburn strands, pulling her back to him. Her pained shriek, like a sledgehammer to my chest, demolished the prison I constructed every day to keep my darkness at bay.
Unable to contain my rage any longer, I lunged, slamming my fist into his jaw as Lexi fought his relentless hold once more. The sinister look in his scornful blue eyes delivered a bolt of terror through my heart.
He wanted to hurt her whether she was the masked girl or not. He wanted to do it just to punish me.
“I’ve got your girl, Kill.” He chuckled as blood rolled down his chin from the new split in his lip. “The things I’m going to do to her...”
Lexi elbowed his ribs as I punched his other side, and he finally released her hair, shoving her off so hard she fell into the gnarled roots of a willow tree, crying out. Blood pooled across her palm.
A familiar crimson haze converged over my vision as my inner demons rushed to the surface. My nostrils flared, and every muscle grew taut, poised for a fight. As Bass witnessed the change come over me, some of his bravado faltered.
No one screwed with Lexi and got away with it.
Not anymore.
I bent at the waist, crashed into Bass, and tackled him to the ground. The air rushed out of his lungs, and he cursed at my surprising move.
Besides a few punches over the years, including the one from several days ago, I’d never fought my stepbrother for fear of Stan’s disappointment.
I didn’t want to risk ruining this fairytale life for my mom.
But after discovering my stepfather’s dirty little secret—and there could be more, probably were—his hold over me had suddenly loosened.
The outside world dissolved as I straddled Bass and allowed my fury to consume me. “You’ve never met the real me, Bass. You’ve only seen glimpses of him.” My knuckles burned as I pounded his face and chest, meaty smacks reverberating around the park.
“You’re going to regret this, Killian!” Bass threw his arms over his face to block my hits. “My father will disown your ass, and you’ll be just a piece of trash like her.”
“Do you think I give a fuck anymore?” I probably would after I calmed down, but at the moment, I’d throw it all away simply because he hurt Lexi. “I’d rather get the satisfaction of breaking you into a million pieces.”
“Killian!” Lexi's voice penetrated the red cloud choking me, and my punches slowed. “He’s not worth it.”
My stepbrother gave a bloody smile. “Are you going to kill me like you did your real daddy?”
How the hell did he know about that?
Bass’s words rattled my focus, and he socked me in the face.
Pain exploded across my mouth, hot blood leaking from my lip.
But when his sinister gaze swiveled to Lexi, to where she was pressed against a barren tree, I forced away the spiraling thoughts and crushed my knuckles into his sternum, knocking the wind out of him.
I stood and shoved my boot into his neck, further stealing his air. “I may not have a crown, big bro, but now my boot hovers at your fucking throat,” I hissed, echoing his words from the night of the masquerade party. “And I will kill you if you touch Lexi again.”
Once I removed my foot, he coughed and spat blood.
“You’re going to ruin your future for her?” he gritted out.
I ignored him and wrapped my arm around Lexi’s waist, tucking her into me. “Let’s get out of here.”
As we left Bass groaning on the ground, unease slithered through my gut like poison. There would be consequences for attacking my stepbrother.
And Stan would be furious that it was over Lexi, the girl I swore to never speak to again.
Lexi didn’t argue when I drove toward the Sigma Delta house instead of Davenport Dormitory, and she didn’t shove my hand off as I clamped it around her thigh in the car. A part of me was afraid she’d vanish if I didn’t touch her.
“Holy shit, what happened to you two?” Axel jumped off his bed where he was studying his playbook as soon as we walked in and he caught sight of us.
My shirt was torn, my knuckles busted and bruised, and my lip was split. “Bass,” I grumbled, shaking my head when Axel opened his mouth to probe. “Long story.”
“Got it.” Axel reached into his bedside table and passed Lexi a bar of gourmet chocolate as she sat on my bed. “This always makes me feel better.”
She gave a half-smile, still cradling her injured hand to her chest. “Thanks, Axel. Chocolate does have that effect.”
He winked and then headed toward the door. “I’ll leave you two alone. Let me know if you need anything, Kill.”
I nodded, knowing Axel really meant that. He’d have my back, even against Bass.
“Let me see your hand, Red.” I placed the first-aid kit on the bed, sat across from her, and gently pulled her fingers away. A string of curses hissed through my teeth at the angry gash marring her palm. “I should’ve killed him.”
Lexi set the chocolate bar on my bedside table and ran her other hand over my arm. “I’m fine. It’s just a little cut.”
“It could have been much worse. And it’s all my fault.” I gently dabbed a damp cloth around the wound as guilt ate at my insides.
She scoffed. “You can’t control what Sebastian does.”
“I should have been there.” Since we returned from our trip, I’d distanced myself despite wanting to be near her twenty-four-seven.
Falling back into her orbit scared the shit out of me, but I was an idiot to think I could stop it.
It had already happened. Red had drawn me back in the moment I saw her at Stonewall University.
The need to ruin her faded, eclipsed by a far more dangerous instinct: to protect her.
Lexi chewed on her bottom lip, eyes intent on me as I cleaned her palm. “What did Sebastian mean when he said you killed your real dad? He died after passing out drunk and choking, right?”
Fuck. She heard that.
“He did.” I swallowed hard, cold sweat spreading over my nape as memories of that night stabbed at my thoughts. “... Sort of.”
Her brows knit. “What do you mean?”
I sighed and tossed the bloody cloth onto my bedside table.
“Lexi, I was never as sweet as you thought. I’ve always had demons, but I hid them because I was terrified of losing you.
” Air barely made it into my lungs as her heavy stare burned into me.
I averted my eyes and kept my gaze trained on the navy comforter.
“You were the sun, and I was this black hole that needed your warmth and kindness. And once that was gone—once you were gone—only the darkness remained.”
She gripped my chin, forcing my eyes to hers. “I never would have turned my back on you.”
I knew it was true. Instead, I turned my back on her.
Even as the pangs of remorse sliced at my chest, I brushed my lips across hers, unable to resist. “I’m not a good person, not anymore. You know that.”
“Sometimes I don’t care.”
Her mouth parted as my tongue slipped inside, twirling with hers and savoring her sweet flavor. This wasn’t a punishing kiss, or one steeped in anger or dominance. It was tender and kind.
Maybe even loving.
The game we’d been playing ground to a halt as our real emotions clawed through the scars of pain and betrayal. And my dead, black heart gave a shudder, a fragment of life still hiding within its rotten depths.
I pulled away before losing control and blurting something stupid, like those three little words that had always dangled on the tip of my tongue when we were teenagers. Instead, what rushed out was: “Come to the party tonight.”
Lexi licked her lips as I spread ointment on her hand. “Not really my scene.” Her breathless voice went straight to my dick.
If I had a choice, I’d barricade the door all night and make her scream my name and beg for more instead of attending this stupid party. “Well, since I have to be there, so does my girl.”
Panic streaked down my spine as soon as the words fell from my mouth. Oh shit. Did I really just say that?
“Will Micah be there?”
My brow slammed down. “Excuse me? I’m inviting you to a party, and you’re asking about another guy?”
“I haven’t heard from him in days, and I’m starting to worry.” She tilted her head and studied me with those intelligent azure eyes. “You’ve seen him around the house, right?”
I ground my teeth and gently applied a bandage to her palm, collecting my thoughts. “I’ve been a little preoccupied as of late.”
When I wasn’t obsessing over Lexi, I was trying to figure out the damn password to that disk drive containing more blackmail information on Stan. He’d send someone to retrieve everything soon, and I’d lose my shot.
“Kill, did you do something?”
An unhinged laugh erupted out of me, and I shot to my feet. “Of course you immediately jump to the conclusion that I harmed poor, sweet Micah Preston.”
Lexi saw right through my defensive outburst, and her lips—still red and puffy from our kisses—thinned.
“You did do something.” She jumped from the bed and closed the distance between us until her shoes touched mine. “His interest in me pissed you off, so you made him quit school—or worse.”
“Oh yeah, I killed him, Red. He’s buried in a grave in our backyard.” When her face blanched, I rolled my eyes. “Kidding.”
“Killian, if you don’t tell me what happened to him, I will walk out of here and never speak to you again.” She jabbed her finger into my chest. “You can forget about ever crawling into my bed and—”
“Let me tell you something about your precious Micah.” I snatched her finger and lowered my face to hers, my nostrils flaring.
“He was going to hurt you to save his own skin, so I helped him out and gave him a choice, something he only got because of you. But he’s gone from Copper Cove, and you’ll never see him again. ”
Her chest heaved as an angry flush pooled in her cheeks. “You’re lying. Micah would never hurt me. You did this to get him out of the picture.”
I gave a devilish grin. “That was just a plus, Red.”
Lexi snarled and shoved me away. “I can’t believe I thought for a second there was a decent guy in there.”
“I’ve repeatedly warned you that there’s no decency left in me. And you chose to ignore it.”
She stormed to the door and yanked it open, but whatever she saw had her stumbling back into my room.
I darted forward, catching her suddenly trembling body against my chest. The fear choking her sent my pulse skyrocketing, and I wrapped my arms around her. “What’s wrong, baby?”
A hand slapped the door and pushed it open again. An older and more sophisticated version of Bass peered inside.
For a terrible second, time stood still.
“What is going on in here?” he hissed.
All the moisture evaporated from my mouth.
My muscles turned to stone.
“Stan?”