Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
DEAN
M y chest aches as I watch Juliette and PJ sift through the ashy wreckage that used to be their home. I can’t imagine how they’re feeling knowing all their possessions melted away. Juliette wasn’t sure if PJ should come or not, fearing what happened might be too much. One look at the tears on his face tells me she was spot on. But PJ insisted. He’s looking for something, and I can only hope whatever it is survived the fire.
“Neighbors are useless,” Kane hisses as he steps up beside me, wiping a trail of red lipstick off his neck.
“Did you ask questions or fucking make out with them?” I retort.
“The only neighbors Juliette has are two grandmas who – apparently – have a grandson that looks just like me, and they haven’t seen him in years.”
A bark of laughter escapes me. It feels wrong for the venue, but I can’t help it.
“Damn, wish I’d been there to see that and record it.”
“Go eat shit, Dean,” Kane replies. “Did Francine finish her call?”
“She still hasn’t come out of the car, so I’m guessing not.”
“Must be Yvonne.”
Is that a hint of jealousy in his voice, or did I imagine it? I want to ask, but I’m no idiot. Kane would be more likely to break my finger for asking than to answer the question itself. We were all surprised when Francine started bringing Yvonne around and especially when she announced they’re a couple a year ago. Mainly because Yvonne is her daughter’s husband’s mother. One of her husband’s, anyway, or maybe Yvonne is the mother of all three brothers? I don’t know. I’ve been so busy looking for Juliette that I haven’t had time to really get to know Yvonne or Vivienne’s husbands.
“Found it!” PJ yells, though it’s anything but excited. “It’s ruined.”
He starts to sob uncontrollably. Juliette reaches down and pulls him into her arms. His little body is like a starfish on her. She’s not going to be able to hold him for long. Her headaches have started to lessen, but she still gets dizzy. I take off while Kane stays in the yard, unwilling to move further from Francine unless he has to.
I step over the rubble that was her front door and cross the debris in record time. Juliette’s panicked expression claws at me. PJ is wailing in her arms; the two of us can’t even speak over his volume. I gesture to her that I don’t know what’s wrong. PJ’s noise is scrambling my brain, making me want to do anything to turn it off.
She extends her arm and drops a piece of white and silver melted metal shrapnel into my palm.
“His Hot Wheels car?”
Juliette nods. He must have really loved this thing to be so upset. Juliette rubs circles on his back. I notice how she doesn’t immediately try to shush him. She just holds him while he cries. Eventually, he quiets, laying his head on her shoulder.
“It was my only one,” he says.
“I know, buddy. You loved it, and it’s hard to lose the things we love,” Juliette replies.
“I’ll buy you a new one,” I offer.
PJ raises his head. “Really?”
“Not really,” Juliette interjects. “You don’t have to buy him anything.”
“I want to, and I’m going to.”
I’m going to buy this kid as many fucking Hot Wheels as he wants. I’ll buy the whole goddamn collection if it puts a smile on his face.
PJ wiggles his legs, trying to escape his mother’s grasp. “Can we go now?”
“Sure.”
“No,” Juliette replies at the same time I do. “We’re supposed to figure out something to do about the clean-up.”
“I hired a company for that,” I reply. “We’ve got plenty of time to go to a store.”
“You did? When?”
“This morning when you were in the shower.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You did that on purpose.”
“Yeah,” I admit. What would be the point in lying?
“You knew I wouldn’t approve of this.”
“And I was right.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t have. I will pay you back.”
Yeah, right. That isn’t happening.
“You can pay me back by joining me and our son in the quest for new Hot Wheels.”
She finally releases PJ. His tears have mostly dried, but his face is stained.
“Please, Mom?”
I watch my kid give Juliette a look I know very well. His puppy dog eyes are good but not as good as mine. I’ll have to give him some pointers.
“Okay,” Juliette blows out a breath.
PJ squeals and grabs my hand. “Let’s go.”
He pulls me away fast, leaving Juliette standing there alone.
“Want to race?” I ask.
“Race?” PJ looks at me.
“Yeah. Let’s see who can make it to the car fastest.”
“Okay.”
He starts to take off, but I pull him back.
“The race doesn’t start until we’re on the grass. I don’t want you to trip on the debris.”
“What is debris?” He struggles to pronounce the word.
“All the trash and things you’re seeing around.”
I don’t know if I’m doing much better than Warren when it comes to explanations.
“Oh,” PJ says. “So all our stuff.”
I grimace. That was not what I meant at all.
“No. Your stuff isn’t trash, PJ. It’s, uh,” I struggle to find the right words, “but this stuff isn’t your stuff. It’s the remains of what you once owned. Does that make sense?”
PJ shakes his head with wide eyes.
“Let me help you over the door.”
I pick PJ up and place him on the grass. The second his feet touch the grass, he bolts, laughing like a maniac the whole way. I jog after him, but I’m not putting much effort in. Dads are supposed to let their kids win. PJ touches the black SUV a few seconds before me.
“I won.”
“You did,” I reply.
“What’s my prize?”
“How about I buy you whatever you want?”
“Weren’t you already doing that?”
“Fair point.”
Kane opens the back door for PJ and me as we chatter. PJ climbs in, but I stop and wait for Juliette.
“We’re going shopping,” I tell Kane.
“That wasn’t on the itinerary.”
“I don’t care. My son wants a Hot Wheels collection. He’s getting one.”
“It’s fine, Kane.”
Kane rolls his eyes but gives Francine a firm nod. Juliette finally makes it to the car. She does not look happy, but she climbs in anyway. Her blue eyes meet mine for a second. I don’t think she means for me to see it, but there’s a teary relief in there. It confirms what I thought. Sure, Juliette can do this alone, but she needs someone to take care of her, to take some weight off her shoulders. I’ll be that someone.
“I’m still going to pay you back,” she mutters as she passes me.
It’s good that she has a goal, a dream even. But it’s not happening. It’s cute that she thinks so, though. She dips into the car before I have a chance to reply, probably for the best because it’s unlikely she would’ve liked what I had to say anyway.
I don’t know how, but I manage to keep from turning back to look at her all the way to the toy store. She has been through a lot lately, and this is about as much space as I can give her. I’m ridiculously grateful when we come to a stop outside the store.
I’m out the door the second Kane puts it in park. I pull Juliette’s door open. PJ comes out first, then her.
“You coming, Francine?”
“No, you guys have fun. I’ll wait for you.”
“Okay,” I close the door, already knowing Kane is going to stay with her.
PJ and Juliette are just disappearing into the store when I turn around. Damn, they were fast. I hurry after them. My neck starts to itch from being away from her. I can’t handle her out of my sight.
The store looks like a giant toy box. There are shelves on every massive wall full of stuffed animals—giant bears, small tigers, and vice versa. The aisles are much of the same. I wonder if this is like the outlet store of Santa’s workshop. Maybe these are the unused toys, last season’s trends.
Every aisle is dedicated to something specific. It takes me three minutes to find the Hot Wheels section. The sigh of relief I take when my eyes land on them—that was three minutes too long.
Juliette’s back is to me. I walk up behind her. The minute she feels me pressed against her, she tries to move. I grab her biceps to keep her in place as I lean down to whisper.
“Don’t leave my sight again.”
She looks up at me. I think she’s going for intimidating, but honestly, she just looks like she’s issuing me a challenge—with a dusting of lust, too.
I let her go before she does something silly, like kick me in the balls.
“Did you find anything good, PJ?” I ask, stealing any chance for her to yell at me.
“There are too many to choose from,” he replies.
I smile. Juliette gets overwhelmed with decisions too. She makes the same adorable scrunched face he’s wearing right now.
“Then we’ll buy them all.”
PJ’s head snaps to mine, his jaw hanging. “All of them?”
“Dean, that is too much.”
“Is it? I think it’s just the right amount.”
“I’m not budging on this, Dean.” Her voice is firmer than it was earlier.
“I’m buying him at least one of every set.”
I heard Declan and Gemma arguing one time. And she told him that compromise is the secret to a successful marriage. We’re not married, but it can’t hurt to start early.
“Fine.”
PJ is drawn to the classic set first. I recognize the black car sitting on the top row—a 1967 Impala. Next to it is a sage green Mustang. That’s the one PJ can’t take his eyes off. He flits back and forth, filling mine and Juliette’s arms with all the collection sets. It’s kind of nice that they come in plastic-encased containers. Carrying this many individual cars would be a pain.
It takes us forever to check out. By the time we’re back in the car, I think PJ is getting tired. It’s only four in the afternoon, but he had a nightmare last night. That might make him need a nap.
An hour later, we’re back in the hotel. PJ is passed out with all his Hot Wheels around him. The first thing he did when we got home was open the containers and dump the cars everywhere for inspection. He made it through half of the classic cars before passing out on the suede couch in the living room.
I pull a blanket down from the back of the couch. It’s cream with the hotel logo on it. Draping it over him, I drop a kiss on his temple.
“You made his day today.”
Juliette is behind me when I turn around. I shrug. “I didn’t like seeing him sad.”
I’m well aware that I can’t just erase his sadness with toy cars. But according to the movie we watched yesterday, some memories can be bittersweet. All I did was provide the sweet this bitter day needed.
“Are you really planning to stay in Ireland, Dean? Because if PJ starts getting used to you and you leave,” she sighs, “it would hurt him.”
“As long as you and PJ are in Ireland, I’m in Ireland. I thought I made that clear.”
“Made what clear exactly?”
“We’re going to get married, bluebird. Live together, sleep together, raise our kid together .”
“Okay. Your plans are nice and all. Unrealistic, truly, but nice. Besides, I don’t think I’ll ever date again.”
She shudders, I would assume thinking about her ex.
My boots scuffle across the tile floor of the living room as I walk toward her, not stopping until we’re toe to toe.
“Hey,” I say, pulling her chin up to face me. “Don’t think about him. What he did isn’t your fault.”
“We both know it is,” she whispers. “I’m the worst mom in the world.”
Where did that come from? Is that how she sees herself?
“Baby, you’re the best mom. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Uh, let me think,” she mocks me. “Because I almost let a serial killer kill us?”
“For the millionth time, you didn’t know.”
“It doesn’t help,” she says. “Nothing helps.”
I know of something that will, but it would be taking a big risk—a risk I’m not really sure I should take at all, but I think she needs this.
Grabbing her hand, I pull her toward her room in the penthouse suite.
“Where are we going?”
“To make you feel better.”
“We can’t just leave PJ,” she protests.
“He’s asleep, and your mom is in the kitchen. He will be fine. Let’s take care of you now, yeah?”
Pulling her to my chest, I lower my mouth to her ear. It’s so fucking hard to concentrate with my heart pounding, my cock throbbing, and all of my soul on the line. But sometimes you have to have insane courage, or you may never get what you want.
“Let me take you to the bedroom and eat your pussy until my name is the only one you know.”