Chapter 11
Heather
O ver the weekend, I stayed on high alert for knocks on my door. For that teen who hurried away on a bike. For David. Hell, for the damn boogeyman. Halloween had come and gone, but a spooky, tense mood lingered after it.
This November started with cool, rainy days. Gray skies. Chilly temps that had me seeing my breath when I walked to my car. Some leaves had yet to drop, but already, the gloom of winter dormancy was trickling in.
I didn’t want to be dormant, despite how easy it was to feel stuck in place here in Burton. No excitement could be found on the regular like in Chicago or other bigger cities, and that wasn’t what I was after anyway. I was here to take a breather and recoup from all I experienced since I left before. However, with my goal of keeping to myself and avoiding the people from this town, I bunkered in my cabin and did my best not to go stir crazy.
Fortunately, I was “saved” on Monday morning.
Janelle called bright and early, and I caught myself from sounding overly eager or needy.
“Hey, good morning,” I replied. Crap. A double greeting? Tone it down. Letting her think I was hanging around for her call wouldn’t be an attractive trait for employment.
“Morning. It’s finally a good one.” She coughed a little. “I’m so sorry for the delay, Heather. I haven’t been in the office all week.”
Oh, thank goodness.
I closed my eyes and exhaled a silent long breath of relief. She hadn’t been in the office. She wasn’t indecisive about potentially hiring me or not. She hadn’t been in.
“I had it on my schedule to call you early last week and offer you the position, but this cold sure worsened quickly. I ended up taking off all of last week.”
“Gosh, I hope you’re feeling better.”
“Well, I’ll wear a mask and all just to be safe. But yes, I feel less like yesterday’s rotting garbage now.”
We shared a laugh, and I wished her a speedier recovery yet.
“So, would you like to accept the position?” she asked again. “It’s not much. I still worry that it’s far below your qualifications and expertise, but if you’re interested...”
“Oh, definitely. I’m very interested.” I cringed. Tone it down! “I would love to accept your job offer, Janelle.”
“Wonderful!” She cut away for another slight coughing spell. “Ugh. Sorry about that. Anyway, would you be available to come in tomorrow and fill out some more forms and start your first day of training on the clock?”
I’d be available today. “Absolutely.”
With this to look forward to, time didn’t seem to move as slowly and stagnantly as it had been.
The next day, I arrived at the bank and dove right into the process of being a new hire. Only three people worked there, two others besides Janelle, and to my good luck, neither of the others were people who knew me from before. One young man, Fergus, the main teller, was someone who’d moved here for the “great views of the Midwest,” whatever the hell that meant, and the other employee was an older woman, Nancy, who’d moved here because her husband had wanted to work at the Grand River instead of a ranch a couple of hours north.
All in all, they were a courteous trio to get used to. No sort of drama popped up on my orientation on the first day, and as the week went by, I headed into work excited for what might happen. Fergus was simply easy to get along with, a kindred spirit to share jokes about The Office —both the American and UK versions. And Nancy, who preferred the briefer moniker of Nance, was both determined to teach me how to crochet at lunch breaks as well as indoctrinate me with knowledge about the Star Wars series. I made the “error” of admitting that I’d never actually sat down to watch one of those movies from start to finish, and she’d taken that as a crime to rectify.
I wouldn’t get a paycheck for another week, paid twice a month, but I basked in the confidence that I wouldn’t have to worry about finances as much as I had been without a job.
I had a savings. I’d learned from my parents that it would be far safer to always have something to fall back on when the economy was tough for me personally.
But then David happened...
I sighed as I grabbed some groceries from the food mart. Now that I’d figured out when Ashley was most likely to be there working, I could reliably avoid seeing her. The two bags of basic groceries were almost too heavy to carry, but I toughed it out, refusing to get a third bag and throw off my stride.
David had decimated me, not only with my self-worth, but financially. Letting him have access to my bank accounts was my first stupid move, done because I thought we loved each other and I could trust that he was taking care of what we needed and what we wanted. Then ignoring the warning signs that he was helping himself to my savings and lying about spending my money led to the beginnings of the abuse and mental warfare.
He hadn’t cleared my accounts. I’d moved some to a secret account. I wasn’t entirely penniless, but with a frugal lifestyle, I knew I could be smart and save up again.
And I was smart. I would always kick myself for staying as long as I had, but I was smart enough to get out when I did. David would never have any control or power over me again. I wouldn’t rely on him for a single thing ever again.
He was a thing of the past, but the aftertaste of putting up with his narcissistic ass was enough to prompt me to swear off men forever. My future would belong to me. Maybe a cat or dog. But that was it. No one else.
Especially not you .
Right then, as I toted my groceries to my car that I’d left parked closer to the bank, I spotted Roarke striding down the sidewalk. He wasn’t on my side of the street. Main stood between us, and there would be zero chance of another accidental collision.
Under the law of some funky cosmic force, I happened to look up right when he turned my face.
Glaring. Scowling. He didn’t bother to mask how he loathed me.
Maintaining a stern expression that fell between a resting bitch face and a don’t mess with me warning, I made sure I gave as good as I got.
We hadn’t spoken since he “caught” me at his cabin. Even though many questions remained on my mind, I didn’t go out of my way to approach him and ask.
Did he know that teen?
Did she know him?
Was she canvassing the cabins for an easy break-in?
What would he do about it?
And why did he have security set up in the first place?
All week, we noticed each other out and about, but I kept to my business and ignored him the best I could. Over that same time, all week long, I failed to spot that teenager who’d been a petulant brat and lousy person to expect me to take the brunt of her almost crime.
I wouldn’t have actually helped her break in. But still, I was peeved. And curious.
She’d come from nowhere, and now she was gone? Just like that?
“Heather.”
I flinched, worrying that Eric had caught me staring down Roarke from across the street. I had sworn off men, but it felt like I was failing that goal by keeping up this stare-down.
“Heather,” Eric called out again from behind me.
Whirling around, I caught sight of my cousin hurrying to catch up to me on the path. “Hey, Eric.”
“Need a hand?”
Those three words were so innocuous, particularly coming from him. Yet, I ground my teeth at the reminder when David shared them with me.
Need a hand?
Accepting help should never be a binding obligation, yet he’d used his supposedly good deed as a means to control me.
“No, I’ve got it. Thanks.”
He nodded, catching his breath from that slight jog. “I wanted to check on you.”
“Oh?” I said as I reached my car. Hoisting one bag to my hip, I stretched my arms to fit so I could hold them both and open the door. He beat me to it, grasping the handle and opening it.
“Just wanted to see how you’ve been settling in and all.”
“Ah. Well, I’m still here, right?”
“And working at the bank, I hear.”
“Yep,” I replied. “It’s not bad.”
He rubbed the back of his head, awkward as ever. I had to give him credit for trying to strike up a conversation though. Social anxiety was weird like that.
“Nance is nice,” I said.
“Just don’t get her going on—”
“ Star Wars ?” I guessed.
He chuckled, nodding again. “Do you need anything, though?”
I frowned, wondering what he was referencing. Did he hear about that teen who showed up? Eric and Roarke both worked at the ranch, but I couldn’t see my antisocial cousin chatting with Roarke.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”
“You don’t need anything?” he asked again. “I know you wanted your space. And privacy and all.”
Still do.
“And it wasn’t ideal, finding Jerry’s rental broken into before you arrived.”
I shrugged. “That cabin is suiting me well.”
“Okay.” Once more, he rubbed the back of his neck, almost shy. “Look, don’t be so hard on yourself and all. For having to move back home.”
I didn’t reply, watching him now that I’d put my two bags in the backseat. I couldn’t decipher what the meaning of this talk was. If he was merely reaching out to me to ensure I was content and safe, then that was...sweet?
“I’m just saying I know living in Burton isn’t what you want. But for what it’s worth, I think it can’t be all bad for you.”
Huh. That was the most I’d ever heard him talk at once.
“Thanks, Eric.” And I was grateful. I appreciated his kind words, as unexpected as they were.
Somehow, knowing my cousin cared enough to tell me this made me feel less alone. Made me feel more worthy.
That deep sense of safety and worth was hard to come by after David, and I was happy that he could overcome his anxiety to extend this olive branch, so to speak.
But this glow of feeling like I belonged, like I mattered, wasn’t the same as the way I felt when Roarke walked me home. When he’d switched from being stern and combative to caring and considerate to see me back to my cabin.
And when he appeared to lean in, for a kiss.
Stop. That didn’t happen. I insisted that it was all in my mind.
I refused to analyze that feeling, that suggestion of inclusion and security with Roarke, any further.