Chapter 11
AMELIA
Rain pounded on top of the house like a monster. It came in hard and fast, cascading in the dark. I couldn’t tell everybody how the terror was consuming me. How I could only think about drowning in black water, and Blake’s face at the edge of my vision.
Then came nights huddled with Caiden underneath the rain while we shivered and tried to keep distance.
The air inside stank with sweat and vodka, the lights down low, shadows pooling in every corner. Laughter and music crashed through the rooms like waves on the rocks, trying to drown out something darker beneath.
Alex was pressed in close, his arm slung loose around my shoulders, his grin sloppy and eager.
He was handsome in the way that never quite reached his eyes.
Safe, solid, offering the kind of warmth I’d always thought I wanted.
His thigh pressed against mine on the couch, fingers brushing circles over my bare knee, slow and possessive.
“Another drink?” he asked, his voice slurred, his smile tracing my mouth.
I nodded, let him pour, let his hand linger a little too long at my waist. I wanted to want him. I wanted to let my body go heavy and warm and safe, to sink into the simplicity of being wanted by someone without ghosts in their eyes.
Sabrina shrieked with laughter at something on her phone. Sydney danced in circles with Shane, spinning wildly, letting the storm inside match the one out. The world spun, wet and reckless, and I let myself float through it, letting Alex’s touch anchor me.
He leaned in, breath hot against my ear, voice rumbling. “You look like you need a rescue. Want to get some air?”
I almost said yes. Wanted to let him save me, to let someone’s gentle hands close the ache inside me. But the room felt small, the night pressing in, the rain a hush that promised nothing good.
I glanced at Caiden and caught the flare of something feral in his eyes. Jealousy, rage, hunger. I couldn’t tell where one ended and the next began.
Alex’s hand slid higher on my thigh, thumb tracing promises just under the hem of my dress. I let him. I wanted to be seen wanting, wanted to know I could still be wanted at all.
But under the heat, there was a cold edge. Like the thrill of standing at a cliff’s edge, wondering if this time I’d let myself fall.
Caiden’s gaze pinned me. I saw a flash of childhood. My mother’s boyfriends in the kitchen, the way I’d learned to feel danger before I could name it.
The same tight coil of fear and longing, the shameful thrill of being watched. I knew that look in Caiden’s eyes. I’d grown up flinching from it, and now I craved it. Needed it to remind me I was real.
Alex’s mouth brushed my jaw, soft and careful. “You okay, Amelia?”
I almost told him I was fine. I almost let myself believe it.
But Caiden’s hunger was a shadow at my back, and I was so tired of being the girl who ran from the dark. I leaned into Alex’s hand anyway, let him touch, let Caiden see. Let the storm outside rage while the storm inside me coiled tighter, darker.
A lyric throbbed through the speakers, low and raw—“You’re the only thing that cuts me, the only pain I want…”—and I wondered if anyone would notice if I disappeared into the rain. If anyone would care, except for the boy in the shadows, burning holes through me with every glance.
I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel nothing. But all I could feel was the ache pulling me toward the thing I’d spent my whole life learning how to survive.
Alex poured me another shot, his palm warm around mine as he handed it over. Lightning flickered in the window, painting the room in white, then washing it away, leaving nothing but the steady drum of rain and the thick heat of too many bodies crammed together.
The couch vibrated with laughter. Sabrina and Sydney nearly in each other’s laps, Shane sprawled in the armchair, grinning at his phone. I tipped the glass back, let the vodka burn a clean line down my throat, tried to believe it could chase out the cold.
Alex leaned in, his lips brushing my ear, his voice dipped low so only I could hear him. “You always get quiet when you’re tipsy. Like there are secrets you’re not ready to tell.”
My mouth curled. “Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m just waiting for someone to ask the right question.”
He grinned, eyes glinting, hand sliding higher on my thigh, thumb pressing circles that made my pulse skitter. “What if I already know what you want?”
My breath hitched, that reckless edge inside me lighting up. I let my knees drift apart, let his fingers inch beneath the hem of my dress, just enough to feel the promise.
The rain hammered harder, the world outside a black sheet, storm swallowing the beach whole.
Sydney raised her glass. “Somebody turn up the music. This weather is depressing.” Her words slurred a little, cheeks flushed, eyes bright.
Sabrina giggled, shoving Shane’s shoulder. “We should play a game. Truth or dare or something dirtier.”
Alex’s grin widened. “That’s dangerous territory. Some of us have a lot to confess.” His eyes locked on mine, daring me to answer.
I felt Caiden’s gaze, heavy, dragging my attention. He slouched against the wall, bottle dangling from his fingers, jaw set tight. He had that look. The one he wore in Colorado, the one that promised violence or salvation and made me crave both.
The thunder outside rolled, and my heart lurched with it.
I saw Blake’s eyes for a second, cold and empty. I shivered, wanting to blame the vodka, the rain, the memories chewing holes in my chest.
Shane stood, stretching. “If we’re playing games, I need another drink first.”
Sydney whooped, “Fill me up too. And Amelia. She needs to loosen up.”
Alex squeezed my knee, voice a mock whisper. “Not sure it’s possible to loosen her up much more.” The room exploded in laughter. I flushed, but I didn’t pull away.
A song pulsed from the speakers, the bass thick enough to feel in my bones. The lyric slipped into the haze, “You’re bad for me, but I want you all the same.”
I could feel Caiden’s attention burning into my skin, my whole body tuned to the ache of being seen and wanted and judged.
I let my head fall to Alex’s shoulder, let his hand that was hidden tease the edge of my panties. His breath was hot at my temple.
Before I could answer, Caiden spoke, voice heavy and thick with something sour. “Why don’t you just fuck her right here, man? We all know that’s where this is going.”
The words landed like a slap. Sabrina stopped pouring. Sydney’s laughter died out. Shane glanced between us, mouth tight.
Alex tensed, then smirked, not backing down. “Jealous much, Baxter? Or are you just pissed because you never learned how to ask nicely?”
Caiden’s smile was cold and crooked. “I don’t ask. Not for things that belong to me.” His eyes cut to mine, daring me to call his bluff, daring me to run.
My heart thundered, fear and want twisting together. The storm screamed against the house, the darkness outside pressing in.
For a second, I wanted Alex to save me, to be the good guy, the safe one. But all I could feel was the pull to the dark corner, the place where Caiden waited. A storm I’d never truly escaped, not even now.
I laughed and reached for another shot, letting the burn mask the emptiness. It was easier to let myself get lost than admit I’d always pick the darkness. Easier to let Alex touch me and pretend I didn’t want Caiden’s hands instead.
The vodka was running out, and so was the night. My skin felt too tight, my thoughts a broken carousel.
Rain, Blake’s eyes, Caiden’s hunger, Alex’s heat. I leaned into the chaos, praying the storm would last forever, because I didn’t know what I’d do when the morning came.
The storm raged outside, rain screaming against the windows and wind rattling the old frame of the beach house.
Sydney lounged at Sabrina’s feet, head thrown back, her laughter wild. “This weather’s fucking biblical,” she said, raising her glass. “We’ll be swimming out of here by morning.”
Sabrina grinned, propping her chin on Shane’s shoulder, her cheeks flushed, eyes liquid-soft. “Maybe we’ll see the sun again. Or maybe we’ll be mermaids by dawn.”
Shane started telling a story about a fishing trip, Sabrina curled into his side, Sydney howling at every punchline. The music wound through it all, a slow, dirty hip hop beat, lyrics whispering about sin and skin and wanting what you shouldn’t.
Alex nuzzled my neck, lips brushing my skin. “You want to get out of here? Go find somewhere quieter?” His hand trembled just a little. It thrilled me, the power to make someone want me, to be the center of someone else’s hunger.
I felt Caiden’s eyes like a knife in the dark. He took a long pull from his beer, then scoffed, voice rough and careless. “Bet you think you’re the first, huh? She likes to be wanted. Don’t flatter yourself.”
The room went quiet for a heartbeat, then Shane laughed off the tension, calling Caiden an asshole, but the words hung there between us.
Alex stiffened beside me. He squeezed my thigh, more possessive than before. “Maybe I’m just the only one who knows what she needs.”
I let my head tip back, closing my eyes, letting the voices and the rain blur together. My skin burned.
But all I could feel was the ache. Alex’s safe touch, Caiden’s dangerous stare, the storm outside, and the storm inside me. And I knew, no matter how hard I tried, I’d always be drawn back to the dark.
I felt the need to escape before I unraveled completely. I mumbled something about needing the bathroom and stood, steadying myself as the room wobbled around the edges.
Alex’s hand slipped reluctantly from my thigh, his breath warm against my hip as I passed.
The hallway was dim and empty, only the pulse of the music and the storm pressing at the windows. I caught my reflection in the dark glass. A girl blurred at the edges. I pressed my palms to the cool sink, trying to catch my breath, but my skin buzzed hotter with every second.
As I opened the door to leave, Caiden was there. A wall of heat and shadow, eyes black and bottomless.