Chapter 11
11
Ida hadn’t thought it would be that hard to watch Ian ride away but the moment he disappeared out of her view, her heart clenched tightly in her chest. She had been so disappointed in him a few short hours ago, but now, she didn’t feel the same.
She had feelings for the laird.
Turning back to the stables, Ida tried to push the thought aside. He was gone and she didn’t know if she would ever see him again. It would be prudent for her to forget him and their time together.
What she couldn’t forget was the way he made her feel. For the first time in her life, Ida was seen by someone other than the drunk Scot’s niece or the stable hand. He saw her as the lass she was, the lass who had wants and needs just like the others.
It was hard not to have feelings for Ian, Ida surmised as she moved to the now empty stalls, picking up her shovel. He was a good Scot, one that took all the blame for everything when it wasn’t his fault, to begin with. She had seen the disappointment in his eyes earlier, the way that he had taken the laird’s rejection personally. It wasn’t his fault. The laird, he was being stubborn as he was known to be and missed out on an alliance that would serve their people well.
Ida hoped that Ian would take her words to heart and not give up so readily. If anyone could build the alliance between the two clans, it was him.
That and she hoped that he would come back soon.
Her insides warmed as she thought about their earlier encounter and how she had thought for a moment that he was going to kiss her. He would have been her first kiss and truly the first man that she had wanted to kiss.
What would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted? Had she been just a distraction for Ian, a person who listened to him, or was there something more?
Ida snorted and busied herself with her work. He was a laird, the leader of a clan. His wife would need to be someone who could stand at his side and help him guide their clan.
She was nothing more than his enemy, a stable lass who mucked stalls for her uncle to keep a roof over her head and food in her gut for them both, keeping him in a place that he felt comfortable in.
That was what she needed to focus on. Dreaming about a laird who likely forgot about her the moment he rode away wasn’t going to keep her alive.
For a week, Ida did just that. She tended to the stables during the day and to her uncle at night. After Ian and his men left, her uncle did seem to settle somewhat. He still imbibed in whatever he could get his hands on, which meant she spent her nights hunting him down and dragging him back to his bed.
It gave her very little time to think about Ian or whether or not he was going to come back. One day, Ida was in the stable finishing her morning chores when the door opened and the current laird stepped in. “Ida,” he said, eyeing the stable. “Is mah brother here?”
Ida wiped her hands on her skirts. “Nay mah laird, he isna here.” She didn’t know if he was still abed or had wandered off, but she didn’t have time to worry over him, not with the stables that had to be kept.
The laird sniffed, giving her a once over. “Are ye well Ida?”
She nodded. “I’m fine mah laird.”
“Ye know ye can call mah uncle as well,” the laird stated, crossing his arms over his chest. “Our blood ties doesna change even if ye donna want tae live at the keep.”
There was a time when he had offered to move her into the keep and give her a proper role in his household. Ida had considered his offer, but then turned him down when he refused to allow his brother to join her. She couldn’t just abandon her other uncle for the comforts of the keep. Without her, he wouldn’t have survived as long as he had. She didn’t necessarily have to do the work at the stables. Ida knew all she had to do was appeal to the laird and he would find a replacement immediately.
But that would mean leaving her uncle. He had no one that cared for him as she did, no one else to turn to and there was no way she could leave him alone to wallow in his own grief. “I’m comfortable here,” she replied softly. “Ye have provided us enough.”
“Wot I think I have failed tae do,” he responded after a moment. “Is tae kick mah brother’s arse and set him into motion other than being a drunk.”
As if he could. Ida knew that there was bad blood between the brothers. Because of her uncle abandoning his post, it had made the current laird assume the position to keep the clan in their family name. As a result, he had been forced to step back from the battlefield where he had been the happiest and wed another lass than the one he had promised.
He had never outwardly blamed his brother for the changes in his life, but Ida figured that the animosity was still there. She doubted that either would sit down to resolve their conflict either. “I get along just fine,” she reiterated with him. “Wot he does with his life is his own.”
“Aye,” he finally said. “It is his life. I donna try tae understand his grief.”
Neither did Ida. She had long since given up trying to understand anything about what remained of her family. Her uncle had lost his wife and only son fighting the Wallace clan, which had broken him in the end. He cared nothing about his life, about what he was doing to his health, but it also wasn’t her place to force him into a life he didn’t want either. “I will tell him ye stopped by,” she said wearily.
“While I would want tae visit with mah brother,” the laird stated. “I also wanted tae see how ye were faring lass.”
He did this every few months, coming out tae check on her as if he cared. Ida supposed that he did, in his own way. He wasn’t cruel to her, never had been and when she had decided to stay with her uncle, he hadn’t forced her to think otherwise, instead making certain they had food stores and clothing.
It was Ida’s choice not to take too much from the laird. She didn’t want to owe him anything, even if she was family.
Still, Ida liked to spend some of her time with Iris and Hope at least a few times a week to get out of the stables. “I’m fine uncle,” she finally said, addressing him as her family and not her laird.
“Have ye ever thought tae wed lass?”
His words startled her. “Wot?”
“Ye are past marrying age,” he stated. “Surely ye wish for a home, a family tae care for.”
Before Ian, Ida hadn’t given it much thought, but now his visage crossed her mind, causing her heart to flutter in her chest. “I…”
He took a step forward, his eyes not unkind. “I can make that happen for ye lass. All ye have tae say is that ye wish for it and I can start the hunt for a proper husband for ye.” He gave her a small smile. “Ye are the only female family I have and I want tae see ye cared for.”
“There’s no need right now,” Ida said quickly, panic rising in her chest. He wanted to find her a husband? She couldn’t possibly leave her uncle to fend for himself. That, as well as the fact that Ida wanted to find her own husband when the time was right. She didn’t want to be forced into marriage for the sake of a fine home and a family. She wanted love and affection, the sort of marriage that she saw between Iris and James or the one that her parents had before their deaths.
Ida didn’t want to sacrifice what she knew she needed in her life, in her future and she would much rather stay where she was at in order to wait for the grand love of her life. “Nay uncle,” Ida finally said with a shake of her head. “I am content.”
He seemed to accept her answer, giving her a quick nod. “Alright mah lass. I willna push ye into marriage yet but I canna stand by and watch ye give up yer life for his. He has had his chance. Donna make a mistake in believing that ye can change him.”
Ida lifted her chin, staring at him directly. “I’m not. This is where I wish tae be.”
“Then I bid ye a good day.”
Ida waited until he had exited the stables before she blew out a breath, her feelings conflicted with his words. She knew he was just looking after her, as his sister would want him to, but not at the point of attempting to make her decisions for her.
It wasn’t until she was in her bed that evening, listening to her uncle snore a few feet away, that Ida allowed herself to think about a future. Unfortunately, there was only one Scot she had in mind. Ida tucked her hands under her cheek. She shouldn’t be thinking of him in that manner, but in the still of the night, when there was no one around, she could allow herself to dream at least.
Closing her eyes, Ida pictured Ian’s handsome face in her mind, the quirk of a smile that had come far too easily when they were together. She thought about his laugh, about his strong arms as they had lifted the hay into the stall.
Most of all, she thought about the determination in his eyes, the way he had set his jaw when he talked about peace amongst their clans. He was a man of great passion, one that would stop at nothing to ensure that his hopes, his own dreams were taken into account. What a strong laird he was going to be in a few years and her uncle would be remiss if he didn’t take their alliance seriously.
Sleep pulled at her body and Ida allowed herself to fall under its spell, Ian’s face smiling back at her as she drifted off to sleep.