Chapter 12
12
Remy sat in the chair, his hands hanging between his legs as he watched Gretna sleep in his bed. He shouldn’t have touched her. He knew that. Ian was going to gut him with his own sword for touching his sister but when she burst through the door, tears in her eyes, he was at a loss for what to do.
He could never stand a woman’s tears, but in Gretna's eyes, they were heart-rending.
Now his hands had touched her body, given her her first dose of pleasure. Even now he could still hear the moans in his ear and taste her on his lips. It was both heaven and hell for he wanted more of Gretna Wallace.
More than he should.
Wiping a hand over his face, Remy tried to think of a plan for the morning. They had to leave. That arse wasn’t worth Gretna’s time or her kindness. In fact, Remy was glad that she had seen him for what he was before the vows were read and now he could take her home where she belonged.
Ian was going to kill him.
Gretna stirred and her eyes opened, focusing on him. Remy swallowed his worries and approached the bed, crouching down before her. “How do ye feel, lass?”
Her eyes searched his. “Is it morning yet?”
He shook his head and she held out her hand. “Then why are ye not in bed, Remy?”
Remy didn’t want to tell her that he wanted nothing more than to curl around her warm body, to take their pleasure to a place she had never seen before. He wanted to apologize to her, to swear that he wouldn’t touch her again. “I.”
Gretna rose, her expression insistent. “Now, Remy Wallace. I willna take no for an answer.”
Shit. Remy rose to his feet and placed his various weapons on the table, fully expecting to keep his lower half clothed so that there would be no temptation on either part to consummate anything between them. She didn’t deserve to settle for the likes of him. Gretna had always been destined for more.
Once he was done, he climbed into bed behind her, squeezing his large frame between the wall and her lush body. The shift in weight caused Gretna to roll toward him and he was forced to wrap his arms around her to make them both comfortable. “There,” he said gruffly. “Are ye happy, lass?”
She sighed, her hand falling to his bare chest. Remy felt the softness of her fingers pressed into his muscle and his cock stirred once more, pressing painfully against his breeks. This was a very poorly thought-out plan on his part. “Why didna take mah innocence, Remy?”
He hadn’t expected her to ask the question, but his answer was easy. “That’s for yer husband tae do, not mah.”
Gretna looked up and their eyes met. “Even if I wanted ye tae do so?”
She was far too trusting of him, but then again, he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt her. She wasn’t like the others he had in his bed over the years and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was Ian’s sister either. Gretna deserved more. She wasn’t the type for a tup in bed. She had fanciful notions of love and a future, all the things he had avoided all his life. “Even then,” he told her, his voice hoarse. “Ye are angry and hurt aboot James. Tis no reason to willingly give up yer innocence.”
Her brow furrowed and he reached out to smooth it. “Tell mah I am lying through mah teeth.”
“Yer not,” she bit out.
Remy dropped his hand and rolled to his back, with her pressed up on his left side. He wasn’t upset that she had come to him. He would much rather her do so than go find some random Scot to take her frustrations out on. They wouldn’t have stopped with just her pleasure.
“Can I ask ye a question?”
He looked over at her. “Aye, ye can, lass.”
She wet her lips and his groin tightened. “How many women have ye had in yer bed?”
Only Gretna would think it was alright to ask another such a personal question. In truth, Remy couldn’t remember, but none of them mattered now. He was going to have a hell of a time getting over her in his bed, even if he never buried himself between her thighs. “Lass,” he said with a heavy breath. “None who matters now.” They never had,p to him. He had given them what they wanted and gotten what he wanted in return, but they were all just nameless faces in his mind.
None had pierced his heart and that terrified him.
Her expression softened. “Are ye certain I canna touch ye?”
Remy huffed a laugh. “Lass, if ye touch mah now I will lose mahself like a lad in his first lass.” Her effect on him had surprised Remy.
“Wot if I ask tae?” Gretna whispered. “I won’t hurt ye.”
Oh, but she already had. She had taken his heart and left him with a gaping hole where it used to be.
When her hand touched his chest, Remy groaned. “Lass.”
“Shh,” she answered, tracing his scars with her nimble fingers. “Please.”
So he relented, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth as she led her torturous assault. Her fingers slipped down to his abdomen and he shifted his hips, knowing he should stop her. She was innocent, not some randy lass that had seen a cock before, but her hands, her touch, they felt good against his skin.
When her fingers tugged at the laces, Remy reached down and helped her, springing his cock out of its confines. He heard her sharp intake, glad that he had doused the lamps long ago, and guided her hand to his aching member. “See, lass?” he whispered as he moved her hand over the silken skin. “This is wot ye do tae mah.”
Gretna said nothing, allowing him to show her how he liked to be touched and when she brushed the head, he hissed. He was far too close to turn back now and either he was going to spill his seed on her hand or his own.
“Remy, look at mah.”
He did so and she gave him a small, innocent smile. “Show mah how tae please ye.”
“Gretna,” he said with some uncertainty, knowing they were crossing into dangerous territory.
“Please,” she begged, her hand tightening on him. “I want tae do this.”
She was going to be the death of him. He took her hand and showed her how to stroke him from root to tip, a ragged groan leaving his chest as they picked up the pace. To his surprise, she didn’t shirk away from the roughness and when he, finally, spent himself, it was her that finished him off, her soft hand covered in his seed.
After cleaning and adjusting himself, he gathered her close, his hand in her hair. “Lass, I could sleep for years now.”
Gretna giggled against his chest. “How aboot only a few hours so we can go home?”
Home. His chest tightened and so did his arms, already thinking about what would happen once he got her home. Could he walk away knowing that she would be seeking out another man in her bed? Could he stand by and watch her find a Scot worthy of her?
He couldn’t. Remy knew he would struggle to watch her take a husband, knowing that he was giving her the pleasure that Remy had introduced her to. He would have to watch her swell with another man’s child when he ached for it to be his own.
Remy pressed his lips into her hair, his mind jumbled with thoughts that shouldn’t be his. He was falling in love with Gretna.
The next morning, Remy was up and moving by the time Gretna started to stir, her eyes fluttering open and a lovely stain on her cheeks. “Good morn,” she said, sitting up in his bed.
“Good morn,” he said, rubbing his chest, trying to rid the ache he felt at seeing her. “If we are tae leave sometime today, ye will have tae get packed.”
Her eyes widened and she threw back the covers, blushing as she reached for her dress that he had draped over the chair. “Ye believe mah?”
“There’s nothing tae believe,” he told her as she donned her gown. “If ye aren’t going tae wed the Scot, then there’s nothing more for us here.”
Gratitude shone in her eyes and she threw her arms around him, hugging him close. Remy allowed himself to pull her against his body and breathe in her scent, knowing that his time to do so was going to be limited. Ian would never allow him to ask for Gretna’s hand in marriage and Gretna was not cut out for the life of a warrior’s wife. Selfishly, Remy didn’t want to give up his post for farming and the like. This wouldn’t be the proper life for Gretna either.
He couldn’t have her. “Go on and pack yer things,” he told her, pulling away before he never let her go. “I will make some arrangements.” They couldn’t take the carriage, which meant he needed to find her a horse to ride and provisions for the journey. It would take him a few hours at best.
She nodded and stood up on her tiptoes to brush her lips over his. “Thank ye, Remy.”
Emotion lodged in his throat but he nodded to her and she left his chamber, shutting the door gently behind her. Remy stared at it for a long time, his heart thudding in his chest. What was he going to do? What would he tell her when they arrived back home?
How was he going to get over Gretna?