Chapter 5
For almost a sennight, they lived together side by side and, as Sigurd was the only person Wolf had told how they had really met, the villagers assumed Merewen was a woman from town with whom he’d been having an affair and that he’d finally decided to make things official between them.
He could understand why they might think such a thing and, indeed, living with her felt just like living with a wife.
With the notable exceptions that they did not share a bed or kiss or even touch of course.
It was constant torture, every bit as bad as he had feared, and tested his control to the limit.
Nevertheless, he had stopped going to Sigurd’s at night, having found it impossible to close an eye while Merewen was alone in the hut.
Her safety was more important than his peace of mind.
So he’d gone back to the hut, sleeping on a makeshift pallet by the door, as far away from her as possible.
To his relief, she had not raised any objection to having him so close to her at night.
She had even seemed relieved to see him keep guard.
This mark of trust was the best gift anyone had ever given him. He’d been so shaken in his belief in his ability to protect a woman efficiently that he was grateful to Merewen for making him feel reliable.
Just as he was finishing shaving she walked back inside, her hands full of herbs and vegetables. With a nod in his direction she threw everything in the pot boiling over the fire pit and just like that, the idea that had been whirring in his mind for days took hold of him with unprecedented force.
I could marry this woman. I like her and she already lives with me. In fact, I should marry her. It is the only honorable thing to do, considering what everyone thinks.
His resolution not to marry again had been made before he had been forced to live as husband and wife with someone who could legitimately resent the situation. Now that he was openly living with Merewen, he should ensure she felt comfortable with the arrangement.
And as much as he had thought never to take a wife again, there were a number of reasons for which marrying her would be a good idea.
Not only was she alone with nowhere or no one to go back to, but an enemy wanted her disposed of. She needed protection and a place to live. If she were his wife, he could look after her properly, he could give her a home, a home where she would be protected and valued.
Because he would value her. He already did.
His decision to keep her was not just one based on lust, even if it undeniably played a part.
If he had simply wanted her body, he would have seduced her.
There would be no need to marry her afterward.
But Wolf wanted more than her body. He wanted everything she had to offer.
Marriage to a woman who piqued his interest would allow him to put his past behind and start anew in this place he had never really chosen.
His hopes of returning to his own country had never looked more distant.
That was what he had learnt in town the other day.
He’d heard about a ship coming in from Iceland and he had gone to meet the merchants in the hope of hearing news of his home town from someone on board.
What he had been told had not been encouraging.
His name hadn’t been cleared and his home had been taken over.
It seemed he would have to remain here in for a while longer, if not for the rest of his life.
In these circumstances, uniting himself to a Saxon made sense.
She would help him fit in, explain customs that were still strange to him… and warm his bed at night.
Undeniably, this was an aspect of marriage to Merewen he was keen to explore.
Last but by no means least in the list of reasons why he should remarry was that with a woman legally bound to him, he would be able to enjoy lovemaking to the full, as the children from their joining would be legitimate.
With the few conquests he had seduced in East Anglia he had always stayed in control, not wanting to father children he would not be allowed to raise.
Married to Merewen, he would be able to lose himself in pleasure. In fact, there would be no choice. He suspected a lover like her would make it impossible for him to exercise restraint.
A responsive, sensual woman perhaps did not fit every man’s description of a suitable wife, but it fit his. Wolf was not afraid that her passionate nature might lead her to other men’s beds as he was confident in his ability to satisfy her needs.
As to her fiery personality, far from daunting him, it actually reassured him.
A wife who did not cower in front of him would not render him mad with frustration and therefore expose herself to his ire like Solveig had.
Wolf had learnt long ago not to allow rage to overpower him.
But he had found to his cost that he did not handle frustration well.
A spirited stallion could prove a challenge but you did not despair of him in the way you did of an unresponsive nag, you did not shout at it in exasperation.
Every man had his snapping point and there was nothing more unbearable to Wolf than passivity and lack of spirit.
With a woman who had spat into the slave trader’s face while tied up to a post, then forced her buyer to procure a dress that didn’t smell of sweat when she was half-naked and freezing, he was in no danger of tearing his hair out at her lack of responsiveness.
He could deal with any challenge his wife presented him as long as she was not submissive and he already knew there wasn’t a submissive bone in Merewen’s gorgeous body.
And if he married her, she would have no reason to leave. They had never discussed the future but he could well imagine it would not be long before she questioned the reason for her presence under his roof.
As he would never keep her as a prisoner or worse, a slave, and since an innocent, proud virgin would never accept being anyone’s lover, she had no reason to stay. But Wolf wanted her under his roof—and in his bed.
Marrying her was the only way to make this happen.
There was no denying that the circumstances of their meeting would not make things easy for him to convince her to accept his offer but it was no use bemoaning the fact now. Like it or not, she was here and he could not consider letting her go.
And so his decision was made.
He had bought her, which meant that she belonged to him. He might as well marry her and belong to her as well.
“You asked why I bought you that day,” he started, smoothing a hand ovee his freshly-shaven jaw.
“Yes?” Merewen dropped the knife she had picked up to give him the attention such a declaration deserved.
“Well. I bought you to be my wife,” he announced slowly, deciding it was better not to tell her the decision had been reached after he had paid an extravagant sum of money for her, and for reasons that were best kept to himself.
She had found the fact that he had bought her hard to accept.
If she thought his intentions toward her had been honorable from the first, she might well be relieved.
As soon as the words had left his mouth, however, he understood that it wouldn’t be that easy. She’d blanched.
“But I… I cannot be your wife!”
Merewen stared at Wolf in disbelief. He wanted to marry her? Had she heard that right? It seemed she had because he frowned, as if he had expected her to comply without question.
“Why not?”
She blinked. Was he being deliberately provocative?
Because I don’t know you, because you bought me, and you haven’t even asked me to marry you, you told me I was to marry you after a week during which I kept wondering what would become of me!
Because my life has just been turned upside down and I don’t know what to do.
Because I don’t understand why you set my blood on fire every time we look at each other and it frightens me.
The list of reasons was endless but somehow she felt he would dismiss them all with a flick of his wrist. There was only one thing he would not be able to ignore, whether he wanted to or not.
“Because I’m already married,” she improvised.
This was a reasonable claim to make. After all, why shouldn’t she be married? She was certainly old enough to have a husband. Wolf didn’t know anything about her and there was no way he could guess she was unmarried and untouched.
“Oh. You’re married,” he said, crossing his arms over his massive chest. “Really?”
“Really. Does it seem so impossible to believe?” she answered, piqued that he should doubt her word. Was she that unattractive? His answer proved the question had shown clearly in her eyes.
“Don’t get me wrong, you are certainly appealing enough to have caught a man’s attention, despite your challenging ways.
” She could have sworn he was amused, and not at all ruffled.
“But it is awfully convenient that you should only mention it now, don’t you think?
You have been at the village for a week and yet you never said anything about having to return home.
You never said anything about a husband having a claim on you when I took you away either.
It seems to me that the first thing you would have done was threaten me with retaliation if I did not let you go. ”
Merewen mentally kicked herself. He was right, that was what any married woman would have done. How had she not thought of that? Still, she could not back down so easily.
“I…I wasn’t thinking clearly when you took me away from the trader,” she told him, willing herself not to blush. “I was still under the influence of the potion, if you recall, and in a state of shock.”
“Ah. Yes, of course. The shock. It will no doubt account for this extraordinary lapse in judgment.” He nodded slowly. “Of course, that was a week ago. I’d say you’ve had time to recover since then, and remember that a man was waiting for you at home.”