Chapter 6 #2
When Merewen stiffened, Wolf tensed up in turn.
Could she be afraid of him after all? Up until now she had behaved with such brazenness that he had not thought he frightened her.
But after all, why would he not? He towered over her and could have snapped her in half in the blink of an eye.
She had no reason to believe he would only touch her to give pleasure and considering how intimidating he looked, a certain reluctance on her part was justified.
He should not have teased her about how eager he was to take her to bed, it only made him appear as if he did not really care if she agreed to marry him or not, when he really did.
He took his hand away from her shoulder.
“Take your time deciding what you want to do. You need not rush into a decision. I will not throw you out, even if you do not accept my offer of marriage straight away,” he said in a low voice.
He could not make himself smaller, but he could certainly try to act less menacingly.
“But please stay here with me in the meantime. I cannot bear the idea of you leaving and trying your luck alone when you’re in danger.
You are not without protection anymore. I’m here. I can, and I will, keep you safe.”
He would do that if it was the last thing he did. Perhaps that was why he had bought her, he realized suddenly, because deep down he needed to protect someone who mattered to him for a change, instead of villagers who could have turned to anyone for help.
Wolf was looking for redemption, for a chance to atone for his past mistake. He needed to know he had not failed yet another woman who relied on him for her well-being and security. Perhaps if he succeeded in keeping Merewen safe it would lessen the guilt of not having been able to protect Solveig.
This marriage would be mutually beneficial. She might need the protection of his body, but he needed the peace of mind she would grant him.
Helping the villagers for two years had been a step in the right direction, but it had not been enough to give him absolution because they were nothing to him. Only a second wife would help him get over the trauma.
There was no choice, anyway, because if he didn’t protect Merewen, no one else would come forward. No father, nor brother, no elusive youth too clumsy to know where to dip his wick.
“So you will feed me, keep me safe and warm, provide for me in every way while you wait patiently for me to accept your offer of marriage, is that what you are saying? You will not try to seduce, coerce or threaten me into an agreement?” Merewen asked, turning to face him, at last.
He smiled. She wouldn’t be asking that question if she did not intend to give his offer at least some consideration. But just like before, with the logs, she didn’t seem to realize the importance of what she had said.
“I promise I won’t do any of that, even if I cannot recall promising to be patient,” he told with an effort at honesty.
“I don’t know what is more commendable,” she mumbled. “Your selflessness or your ability to lie.”
Something inside Wolf melted. The attempt at tartness was endearing and the scowl made her appear even more adorable, quite a feat considering how beautiful she already was. How could he not feel drawn to the woman?
One day, as a child, he had got lost in a snowstorm while gathering wood for the fire.
After what had felt like days of aimless wandering he had finally found his way back to the safety of his house.
The warmth surrounding him after being exposed to the elements for so long had been the most wonderful sensation, something he still recalled in his bones to this day.
Being with Merewen gave him the same feeling of well-being and he already knew he would fight tooth and nail to keep it.
“I will leave you to decide which is my most enviable trait. And now it is my turn to ask a question. Are you saying that if I wait long enough you will accept my offer of marriage?” he asked slowly, hope building inside him in spite of all reason.
“No, I’m not saying that,” she answered, shaking her head slightly. Of course, she wasn’t. Why had he expected her to surrender so easily?
“Because of AEthelred?”
“Who?”
He cocked his head, pleased with her answer. “Your husband?” he drawled, taking a step forward.
She flushed a vivid scarlet. As he had suspected, she had forgotten all about her supposed husband. “I…”
“Should I start worrying? How long before the lad comes knocking on my door to demand I hand you back? Will I find him one morning when I wake up, sword in hand, ready to cut me into shreds for daring to steal his beloved wife? I assume the pup does love you?” he added with mock concern.
“Do not tell me this is a dispiriting union where the groom doesn’t appreciate how lucky he is? ”
“Like ours would be, you mean?” Merewen whispered, doing her best to calm the fluttering of her heart. Could a marriage begun under such inauspicious circumstances be anything other than unsatisfactory? Suddenly she dearly hoped it could.
“Oh, no,” Wolf purred, his voice taking on the consistency of honey. “Our marriage would be nothing like that. Believe me, I am fully conscious of the gem I have found in you. A rare gem, indeed.”
A gem.
A sob almost escaped Merewen’s lips.
Leofric had told her many times that she should give herself a chance to live her own life instead of making his more comfortable, that she should find a man who would look after her, for a change.
She was spending too much time at his bedside, watching over him, he’d chided.
She needed to think about herself as well, or he would never forgive himself for having robbed her of her youth.
“You need someone to take care of you, sister, and see you for the gem you are,” he’d said, holding her hand tightly, fighting the pain gripping his guts. “Promise me if you ever meet such a man you will marry him.”
It had been one of the last things he had told her, and to appease him she had promised to do so, knowing it was unlikely she would ever meet such a man.
Yet less than a fortnight later, she was standing in front of Wolf, a man who wanted to make her his wife, a man she desired like she had not desired anyone else and who had just called her a gem.
It was time to make her mind up. Leave before her feelings got into a veritable tangle—or stay and marry him.