Chapter 9
If someone had told Merewen that she would be marrying a strapping warrior only a fortnight ago she would have laughed in disbelief. If that person had added that she would not understand a word of her wedding ceremony she would have laughed some more.
She did not feel like laughing now. The man standing next to her made her body hum with need, his voice made her insides melt and the intent in his eyes made her heart beat like a drum.
Lord, what had she got herself into? Everything had happened so fast.
One moment she and Wolf were kissing with abandon, the next they were in front of a…
She did not even know how to call the man, she only knew that he was nothing like the priest she had imagined would marry her as a child.
Indeed nothing during the ceremony had looked remotely familiar.
The man had tied her right hand to Wolf’s left with a strip of cloth and then Wolf—her husband, she should perhaps say— had laced his fingers through hers.
She had the odd impression that this was not part of the ritual, and more something he had done on impulse, to reassure her.
From then on the man could have switched to her language, and she still would not have understood a word.
Blood had roared in her ears and the heat of the strong hand wrapped around hers had traveled all the way to her heart.
In that moment, Merewen had truly felt special. Cherished.
Not long after that, the man left, and she concluded that it was done. She was a married woman.
And now she was going to be bedded.
Her throat uncomfortably tight, she followed Wolf back to the hut. Suddenly, the familiar interior was impossibly small. Once the door was closed, he turned to face her with eyes darkened by need. The lead ball lodged in her throat dropped to her stomach.
How was she going to survive this? The kiss they had shared earlier had sent her to the verge of madness.
If a mere kiss could affect her so, she wasn’t sure she had the strength to face Wolf’s lovemaking.
She was now certain she had bitten off more than she could chew in wishing for a wild, passionate lover.
She would not be able to handle him, his intensity might well make her pass out.
Perhaps she should get used to dealing with his fiery kisses before experiencing the blistering heat of his possession. That way she might not get burnt.
“Are you all right, Merewen?”
Wolf tilted her head and she realized she had been staring at him in silence for a long moment, worrying her lip. Her insides twisted. She was not all right and she had to speak now. If she did not it would be too late.
“Could we… Do you think we could wait until we…”
He gave a growl and her voice died out. Evidently, he had other plans and was ready to take her now.
How would he react to being asked to wait?
He’d not pressed his advances on her before but now they were married, he had no reason to rein in his desire for her.
As her husband, if he wanted to take her, he was entitled to, whether she was willing or not.
The reality of her predicament hit her hard.
Had she not exchanged a bad situation for an even worst one?
Not that she did not want him to take her, only that what she had been dreaming about suddenly seemed impossibly daunting.
“Are you afraid of losing your maidenhead, is that what it is?” he asked more gently than she had expected.
She wasn’t, well, not of the pain anyway, as he seemed to suppose.
But being married had done nothing to allay her fears of revealing her wanton nature to him, and driving him away.
A groom might not wish for a bride who refused him access to her bed but neither did men want to marry women who dreamed of opening their legs to men at night and were desperate to discover pleasure.
In the same way she wanted to get accustomed to his masculine intensity before they made love, it was better if he discovered gradually what kind of lover she really was, with increasingly hot kisses and whispered confidences.
Then he might not be so shocked when she started to act wildly.
All in all, it was easier to play the part of the timid virgin for now, something that wouldn’t raise his suspicion or bruise his ego, but still guarantee her the respite she needed.
“Yes, I am wary. And I’m afraid I don’t really feel married to you. I did not understand a word of what the man said, that ceremony was unlike any I have ever witnessed and everything was decided so quickly… I think I need time to feel comfortable before we…”
Wolf clenched his jaw but nothing in his demeanor betrayed any anger. He was frustrated, understandably, but he seemed ready to give her the time she needed. She allowed herself to breathe. Perhaps it would be all right.
“I understand,” he said with a nod. “All this has been most unusual, even for me. I never thought to remarry.”
“Thank y— Wait, did you say remarry?” Merewen exclaimed, recoiling in shock. He’d been married before? And he was choosing this moment to tell her as much? She could scarce credit it. “You never thought to inform me of the fact that I was not to be your first wife?”
A pause. “I started to tell you about my marriage the other day and then we were interrupted by Sigurd,” Wolf said slowly.
She frowned. The only discussion Sigurd had interrupted had been the one about him being exiled for murder. Ice seized in her veins. No. It couldn’t be. “Who is it you are accused of having killed exactly?” she asked in a breath.
A shadow passed in Wolf’s eyes. Annoyance? Hesitation?
Guilt?
“My wife,” he said slowly, never taking his eyes from her.
Merewen’s legs instantly turned to water.
This was the last thing she had expected—wanted—him to say.
Moments after having married the man, she was told that he had killed his first wife!
Before she could think, she flew to the other side of the hut.
Up until now she hadn’t been afraid of him.
Impressed, yes, but not really afraid. Now…
Now everything was different.
And everything made sense. Hadn’t she thought it odd that he should need to buy a woman in order to get married?
Well, now she understood why! Because the women of the village knew about his bloody past and were afraid of him.
They would never have accepted his proposal.
He’d had to find a na?ve stranger who could not see past his handsome features, a desperate woman in need of protection who would have no choice but to accept his offer, an inexperienced virgin he could dazzle with his skill at kissing and his promises of pleasure in bed.
In other words, a woman like her.
How pathetic! She had never thought their union was a love match but this! This was worse than she could possibly have imagined.
“You have nothing to fear,” Wolf growled, making no move to come closer. “If you remember, I told you I had been wrongly accused.”
Oh, she did remember, but this reassurance failed to impress her, as she suspected every man who had been accused of murder had claimed the same thing at one point or another.
“Why should I believe you when I don’t know you?
The people who accused you and the ones who condemned you to exile evidently didn’t! ”
“The people who accused me did so for a reason I am ignorant of, and the ones who exiled me are gullible fools, or were paid to cover the real murderer’s tracks.” Though he was still talking calmly, the light in his eyes had become stormy.
“And I am supposed to swallow it all without question,” she said in a breath, wondering where she was finding the courage—or the folly—to provoke him. “How convenient!”
He did move then. In three quick strides he was in front of her.
When he grabbed her shoulders and flattened her against the wall Merewen could not stop a squeak from escaping her lips.
Was he finally going to make her pay for her defiance?
What a fool she had been to believe his promise that he would not hurt her!
But, of course, that was before she’d been told he had killed his wife!
“It is not convenient,” he growled, the resemblance between him and the animal he was named after suddenly glaring.
“It is the truth. I did not kill Solveig. However, I see that nothing I tell you will convince you. You seem to have already made your mind up on the matter even though, as you are quick to claim, you do not know me or weren’t there when it happened. ”
With those words, Wolf left the hut before he could frighten Merewen further. He had seen fear in her eyes when she had looked at him, making them appear even darker than usual, and he could not bear the idea that she was scared of him.
But how could she not be? He had snarled at her and all but crushed her against the wall moments after revealing he had been accused of killing his wife!
What a beast he really was! He should be able to control himself better than that.
It was little wonder if she had taken fright.
In that moment he would have appeared like the blood-crazed murderer he was trying so hard to convince her he wasn't.
He ran a hand through his hair in disgust at his behavior. For a brief moment, Merewen had looked at him in the way Solveig often had, with unmistakable fear. It had been like a knife to the heart, every time.
He had once loved his wife, but he had not been blind to her faults.
She had been a timid, malleable creature who had never managed to get past her awe of him.
He didn’t doubt her love for him but no matter how gentle he had been with her she had never been able to shake the diffidence people felt upon first meeting him.
No matter how many times he had tried to tell her that she had the right to speak her mind and stand up to him, she had always stayed meekly in the shadows.