Chapter 19
After tying Demon to a tree surrounded by lush grass, they made their way to the farm.
“Stay here. I will go on my own.”
“Surely there can be no danger?” Merewen answered, automatically scuttling closer to Wolf. She would prefer not to leave his side, even for a moment.
“I think not, but still it’s more prudent.
In your disheveled state, you might raise suspicion.
” She had to agree with him there. After her ordeal, she most probably looked a fright, bruised and exhausted, every inch the abducted female and he looked too much like a formidable Norseman for the Saxon farmer not to want to come to her aid.
“And that way the farmer will be able to tell anyone looking for us that he did not see any fleeing couple but merely a lonely traveler if Alaric men’s question him. ”
It made sense. Merewen nodded and remained hidden in the bushes.
She would simply have to be brave. But while she waited for Wolf, her anxiety returned.
In the mist, every shadow seemed to her like a man about to pounce, every noise was made by an enemy creeping up on her, ready to take her back to Alaric.
At this rate it would not take her long to have her nerves reduced to shreds.
“The man agreed to let me sleep in the hay barn,” Wolf announced when he came back a moment later. “Come, he will soon come to bring me food and drink. He thinks I’m alone, so we need to hide you first.”
She hurried to the barn and crouched behind the hay while he went outside to meet the farmer who was already on his way with a basket and a bucket of milk. Coins were exchanged and a moment later, Wolf was back inside.
Merewen took a long sip of lukewarm milk while he divided the bread into two equal portions.
Now that they were not out in the open, she was oddly intimidated.
Glad to have an excuse not to start a conversation or meet his eyes, she started to eat, discovering with the first mouthful that she was starving, which was hardly surprising.
She had not been offered anything to eat during her captivity.
As soon as the last of the cheese had been consumed, Wolf turned to her.
She gulped. There would be no avoiding him now.
“Are you very badly hurt?” He cupped her cheek on the place where Alaric had hit her then allowed his fingers to brush against her throat, where she guessed he could see the traces of his fingers.
“I’ll be fine.”
He grunted, as if not quite believing her, then he moved his hand over to her ribs. “I didn’t hurt you, did I, when I pressed the blade into you?” he asked, his voice full of anguish.
“No.” Merewen could barely talk for the lump in her throat. The heat of his hands on her, the gentleness of his touch felt incredible. This was truly the man she had come to love. He’d come to find her, and she could tell he would never leave again.
“I should have killed the bastard for what he did to you,” Wolf said slowly, bringing his forehead in contact with hers. “But I could not. Forgive me, I just could not choke him. It—”
“It reminded you of poor Solveig,” she finished with a nod.
He wouldn’t have wanted to do something he had once been accused of doing and that had cost him so much.
How terrible for him to have to see Alaric holding her by the throat when his first wife had died in that way.
It would have brought home the reality of what the poor woman had endured.
“I understand. And I don’t want you to become a murderer for me.
You had the opportunity to get me out without actually killing anyone and you took it.
It was better that way,” she assured him.
A growl was all the answer she got. Then he dropped to his knees and the hands at her waist slid down to grab her buttocks in a shocking, proprietary gesture.
“Will you forgive me for abandoning you?” he asked, resting his chin against her stomach.
Merewen’s heart almost stopped. “You did not abandon me. You sent me away for my protection. We established that. You couldn’t have known Alaric was my enemy.
I didn’t realize it myself so how could you have?
And in the end you saved me. Again. So we will say no more of this.
” She placed a hand on his cheek. “Please. Stand up, I cannot stand to see you at my feet like a slave.”
The blue eyes flashed. “You had better get used to it. I intend to spend a lot of time on my knees in front of you.”
Without Wolf’s strong hands around her, Merewen might have fallen backward.
Did he mean what she thought he meant? Was he about to finally make love to her?
Surely she had not mistaken the intent in his eyes?
Surely being at her feet, so close to her, with his hands round her buttocks would fire his blood as much as it fired hers?
But instead of lifting her skirts as she expected, he got up and took a step back.
Something fell to the pit of her stomach.
This man had once been desperate for her, to the point of coming at her in her sleep, and taking her with all the impetuousness of a stallion mounting a mare. Now he was stepping away.
She didn’t understand what had changed. Or rather, she understood all too well. He had been put off by her reaction when he’d taken her to bed. Not only hadn’t she done anything to please him but she had even recoiled and pushed him away. He would understandably be hurt in his pride.
Unable to bear it, she said in a small voice, “Oh, I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I! You don’t desire me anymore.”
A storm gathered in his eyes. “Not desire you? Merewen, I want you so much I can hardly breathe. I am dying with the need of you,” Wolf said in a growl. Shivers ran along her spine as hope and desire bloomed in her whole body.
“Then what’s wrong? Is it because I—?”
Before she could finish the question he had lifted her into his arms. “It’s nothing you did.
But I don’t see why you would ever want me to touch you again.
I don’t deserve it, any more than I deserve your forgiveness.
I have done nothing right so far. I couldn’t stop myself from pleasuring you without your consent.
I acted shamefully and touched a woman I had just bought, who was afraid of me, who did not know what I was doing. ”
“Oh, part of me knew exactly what you were doing,” she said softly. “And believe me, it didn’t hurt.”
This time his eyes sent sparks. “Maybe it did not that time but…” He gritted his teeth. “When I took you to my bed I promised to give you pleasure and I hurt you instead. Then exposed you to another man’s gaze and left you before I could set things right!”
Wolf ran a hand through his hair. How could she trust in his promise that he could give her pleasure after his first pathetic performance? He had caused her pain, abandoned her naked and confused on the pallet and left her to deal with it all on her own.
“It was not your fault the man walked in when he did,” Merewen said, placing a hand on his pectoral. “As to the pain, it did take me by surprise, I will admit, but only because, although I had dreamed of this moment so many times, I’d ended up forgetting it would hurt. And I wanted you so much—”
“I did too, and I was too impatient. I truly thought it would be nothing more than a pinch and it would better for you if it was over swiftly.” Wolf shook his head.
This went to show how much he knew about women, or rather virgins…
“I never wanted to hurt you. I also did not think I would be denied the chance to make you forget all about it.”
Merewen laughed. “No. Neither of us could have predicted that someone would walk in on us in such a moment. I swear the poor man was more embarrassed than even I was. But please, I never held you accountable for any of it. The pain was not of your doing. It would have been the same with another man, except I doubt they would have taken the time to pleasure me first or stopped when I cried out.”
No. Perhaps they would not. And he had stopped as soon as he had seen her pain.
Wolf looked at her, hope filling his heart. Could she really mean it? Did she really think he had done nothing wrong? She did not seem to hold any of what had happened against him and he knew he was telling the truth when he claimed he had not meant to hurt her.
Was it enough? Could they just put their disastrous first time behind them and move on?
Did she still want him as a lover?
“Just think of one thing,” Merewen murmured, as if in answer to his question. “I’m not a virgin anymore. My body has had time to heal and it will not hurt ever again to be taken. So… Will you make love to me?”
“Oh, little one, I want nothing more but—”
“No but,” she interrupted, placing a hand over his lips.
“Take me. Now. Show me the pleasure you wanted to show me that day, the pleasure I have dreamt about all this time. Let us do what we were prevented from doing, what we promised to do yesterday evening. Please, Wolf, I need a man. I need you.”
No man could have resisted that plea. With a roar he lifted her into his arms and marched her to the table by the door.
A heartbeat later Merewen was sat on it with her legs spread wide, he was on his knees in front of her and the hem of her dress was bunched around her waist. Blood was pulsing so hard in his groin he feared he would spill his seed as soon as he saw her most secret opening.
“Allow me to taste you first,” he growled, thinking that it hardly mattered if he did.
His desire for her was so great that he would be hard again before he had time to blink.
“This is something I’ve been dreaming about since I felt your pleasure on the tip of my finger that first night. Now I want to feel it on my tongue.”
“On your… tongue? Is that something we can do?” Her voice was full of wonder.
He let out a growl. “One of the many things we can and will do, if you allow me.”