Chapter Twenty-Four
Josie wiped her hands on her apron and exhaled with a giant huff. A few days had come and gone since the fence had been cut. The boys were still working on wrangling stray cattle that had gotten out and still fixing some of the damage to the fencing, alongside all their normal chores.
It was only a matter of time before they’d had enough. She’d often heard their angry voices every day this week.
And she’d often found herself watching Cash as he worked to repair the fences with Hank.
Seeing him would always send their brief moments of connection flashing through her mind. The way he’d looked at her during Samuel’s birthday party, how his eyes had seemed to soften when Samuel had reached out for him.
There were moments when she thought that maybe, just maybe, there could be something real between them. But then his walls would come up again. One step forward, two steps back. It was like trying to tame a horse that kept shaking her off just when she thought she’d gained its trust.
She pressed her hand against the cool glass of the window, seeing him now.
It was more than clear that he was frustrated.
Remington’s men were making their presence unmistakably known, pressing the Montgomerys, trying to wear them all down until they had no choice but to surrender—whether that be the ranch or Josie herself.
And she hated knowing that she was part of the reason why this was happening.
With a worried sigh, she wiped down the kitchen table, glancing down at the floor to watch Samuel playing with his wooden horse. He giggled and cooed as he slammed it down on the floor. She smiled, envying his innocence.
Samuel looked up at her, his chubby face breaking into a wide grin that revealed his few baby teeth. He held the wooden horse up toward her, an offering of his most prized possession.
“Thank you, sweet boy,” Josie said, crouching down to take it.
Samuel immediately crawled to her, pulling himself up on her skirts. His little hands patted her face as he babbled excitedly. “Pa? Pa?” he asked, his new favorite word. He wasn’t quite saying “papa” yet, but it was close enough that Josie’s heart squeezed painfully every time he said it.
She wondered where he’d even heard it.
She wasn’t sure what to even say to him. She wanted to say that Pa was just outside, still fixing things. But she wasn’t sure what he understood, and she didn’t know what Cash was to him. She hardly knew what Cash was to her…
Samuel giggled and went back to his toy, grabbing it away from Josie, sitting back down, content in his small, protected little world. She watched him play.
What would it be like when he was older? Would he grow up here? On this ranch? Would he learn to ride and rope like the Montgomery brothers?
Or will we be long gone by then? Starting over somewhere else?
She still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was somehow unwanted here in some way…
or at the very least, that she wasn’t worth protecting compared to the rest of the ranch.
Cash had been distant more and more often recently.
Every time they got closer, something clipped to pull them apart all over again.
And Beau? She’d thought they were becoming closer, too, but after the last few days, he wouldn’t even look her in the eye. She couldn’t help but wonder if all three brothers blamed her for this whole mess that had worn all of them ragged for days now.
How could they not? The ranch was everything to them, and she’d done nothing but make things harder for them.
She sighed again and stepped outside, needing fresh air, needing to move around.
She spotted Luke hauling a bale of hay from the barn to the feeding troughs.
His face was sunburnt, and he looked exhausted and worse for wear.
His yellow shirt completely untucked, partly unbuttoned.
His hat was on the nearest post, and his hair was drenched in sweat.
Yet despite all that, he smiled at her and waved.
Her brows twisted, wondering how he could look so completely unbothered. “Hey!” she called out, jogging up to him. “Can I talk to you?”
He threw the bale down and wiped his brow, nodding. “Sure thing. What’s on your mind?”
Josie opened her mouth to speak, then hesitated.
There is no point in dancing around the truth.
“I feel useless,” she blurted out. “Like I don’t belong here. And I know you’re all struggling to keep this place together. I want to help.”
Luke shook his head. brows raised in shock. “You kidding? You do chores all day here. You’re far from useless.”
She rolled her eyes, frustration boiling up. That’s not enough. “What else can I do?”
Luke looked like he was trying not to frown. “I’m telling you,” he laughed uneasily, putting his hands on his waist. “You already do plenty. You take care of the house, of Samuel. That ain’t nothin’.”
“It doesn’t feel like enough,” Josie admitted, kicking at the dirt. She was overwhelmed. Troubled. She was becoming too much of a burden, and the boys weren’t getting nearly as much out of the deal as she was. “I don’t want to be a burden. I know Cash—”
“Don’t let Cash get in your head,” Luke interrupted, shaking his head. “He’s got a lot on his plate, but that don’t mean he don’t want you here. We all do. Having you and the little one around makes this house feel like a home again.”
Josie’s breath hitched slightly, unexpected warmth filling her chest.
So it wasn’t just my own imagination, then.
She had felt that Cash was turning a new leaf where she was concerned, and it seemed that Luke at least had noticed something, too.
Yet the change confused her more than anything. It was obvious she was starting to care about everyone, especially Cash… but to think that he was feeling the same made things even more complicated.
“Really?” she asked at last, looking worriedly at Luke.
“Really.” He grinned, then glanced toward the house. “Besides, you being here means Clara—” He cut himself short, and Josie could see even beneath the sunburn that his face flushed red.
A giggle escaped her mouth. “Clara?”
“Well… yeah.” Luke looked up at her with a sheepish grin that quickly became genuine. “I think she’s finally startin’ to see me the way I’ve seen her for years.”
Josie smiled. It’s about time he said it. “You’ve liked her for a long time, then?”
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Since I was a boy, I reckon. Feels like it’s always been that way.”
“Well, I think she’s noticing now,” Josie said with a grin
Their conversation was cut short as sharp, stomping footsteps rang out behind them. Quickly, they both turned around to see Cash stalking up, face dark with anger.
Josie’s heart sank.
“We got a real big problem!” he yelled, not bothering to greet either of them. “Fence over by the north pasture was cut again! How am I supposed to keep up with it all?”
Luke cursed under his breath. “We’ll fix it. We always do,” he said stubbornly, but Josie could see the worry clear in his eyes.
“Where are them ranch hands, anyhow?” Cash snapped, kicking the bale of hay at Luke’s feet.
Luke shook his head irritably. “I’d like to know that myself. I know Beau was supposed to go up that way and give ‘em what-for earlier. There’s always supposed to be someone out at watch, and we had two out there at all times, taking shifts.”
Cash folded his arms and spat angrily at the dirt. “So what were they doin’, then?”
Josie could feel the anger radiating off him. That same helpless, frustrated feeling began to envelop her once again. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked, a little hesitantly.
Cash turned his glare to her. “Yeah. Stay out of it.”
Josie blinked in shock as her stomach twisted. After an awkward moment, she managed, “I just want to help.”
“Help?” He let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t need help from someone who’s nothin’ but trouble herself!”
Josie flinched, stung to anger now. “Nothing but trouble? That’s not fair!” she snapped.
“No, it ain’t, is it?” he retorted sharply, his words cutting her heart in two. “Every single thing goin’ wrong right now ties back to him. To you.”
“Cash!” Luke barked, shifting to a defensive stance. “Back off!”
“No,” Josie snapped, fury rising to a head in her chest, overcoming the hurt. “Let him talk. After all, he’s the one who took me in, wasn’t he? Surely he’s got a lot to say about it now.”
She curled her hands into tight fists, fully aware that she was inviting his anger onto her directly.
This is exactly what I need to hear.
Maybe this was what it would take for her to do them all a favor and leave.
Luke cast her a worried look, but when she shook her head at him and looked away, he hesitantly picked up his bale of hay and turned around to walk away, leaving her to her fate.
“You bet your bottom dollar I got a lot to say about it,” Cash bit out, not seeming to notice that his brother was leaving.
“I never thought taking in some woman hurt in a field with a crying, starving baby was going to make me lose my ranch and if I had—” The vein in his neck was popping and throbbing, his face blood red. “—I might have just—”
“Might have just what?” Josie demanded, shaking with anger. She could see the answer written all over his face.
He didn’t want to say it aloud. He had stopped himself. But she wanted him to. It would have made this all so much easier.
“Left us in the field to die?” she continued, daring him to finish his sentence. But when he didn’t speak, she just kept going. “I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t ask to be hunted down! To be forced to run with my sister’s baby! I didn’t ask to be a mother. And I sure didn’t ask for you to save me!”
A dark fury entered Cash’s eyes, and for a moment, she wondered if she’d gone too far.
He clutched his fists and took a step closer to her so that they were almost toe-to-toe.
“What I want,” he ground out, “is for you to stay put and not get any bright ideas. That’s the only thing that’ll make things worse. ”
Every word felt like acid in Josie’s ears. Her throat tightened, but she refused to take her eyes from his. “You’re scared, Cash Montgomery. And you’re too proud to admit it.”
For a moment, neither spoke. They stood rigid, eyes locked on one another, their breaths mingling in a heated battle of glares.
Finally, Cash broke the silence. “Is that all? Miss Tate?” His voice was cold, belying the rage in his eyes.
Somehow, the use of her maiden name was worse than anything else he’d said. Josie took a slow, deep breath, refusing to let tears overcome her. “Yes. That’s all, Mr. Montgomery.”
Then she whirled on her heel and stomped away.
She couldn’t bear to look at him. Not now.
Maybe not ever again.
Every time she thought they were getting somewhere, he reminded her just how little he thought of her. His kindness had been perfunctory. And it seemed to have finally run out.
Of course he didn’t really care. She was just a stray he’d taken in, and now she was more trouble than he clearly thought she was worth.
Why am I still here at all?
Josie stormed back into the house, slamming the back door behind her with so much force that the windows rattled. Samuel looked up from his play, startled by the noise. His lower lip began to tremble, and his face crinkled into a cry as tears flew.
Guilt washed over Josie. “Oh, no, sweetie… I’m sorry,” she cooed, immediately dropping to her knees beside him to comfort him.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you.” She gathered him up in her arms, burying her face in his soft little curls as her own tears threatened to spill out.
The little boy squirmed in her tight hug, but she couldn’t bring herself to let him go just yet.
He was really all he had in this world. The only person who truly needed her and wanted her.
“What are we going to do?” she asked in a whisper against his curls. “Where can we go?”
The house that had started to feel like home now seemed like the furthest thing from it.
She was the reason for the Montgomerys’ troubles. She was the reason they’d been out there for days trying to fix everything Remington started. And she was the reason they might lose everything they’d worked their entire lives for.
But I didn’t ask for this! She hadn’t asked Randall Pierce to turn his cruelty on his wife. She hadn’t asked for her sister to die. She hadn’t asked for Cash Montgomery to find her in that field, or to take her in.
She hadn’t asked for any of it.
She finally let Samuel go. His tears had long ceased and he was ready to go back to his horse toy. She stood back up, looking out the window, watching as Cash stalked toward the barn, his shoulders rigid with anger and frustration.
How did we get here? How had those moments of tenderness between them dissolved so quickly that they’d come to such bitter words?
Part of her wanted to pack her meager belongings and leave right now. Not just to show Cash what-for, but to take Samuel and disappear before they could cause any more damage to this family.
But where would they go? How far could she get with a one-year-old child and no money?
And what if Remington’s men were watching? Waiting? What if Randall was ready to snatch her right then and there?
That risk was almost too great to take. But staying felt impossible, too.
Josie shook her head and dried her tears with the back of her hand. She had survived a lot. She would figure something out.
She had to.