Chapter 21
MAX
Desperation had driven me to this point. There was no turning back now. The decision had been made, and all that was left was to follow through.
I stood there, just above the cold granite slab that bore a simple engraving.
Lifting my head, I glanced around the eerily silent graveyard.
Slowly, then all at once, I heard the faint beating of a heart.
There were thousands of bodies surrounding me, but there was only one heart that could beat.
It was mine, and it was loud. For good reason.
The pounding in my chest was a constant reminder of my humanity. I looked down at my hands.
Am I even capable of doing this?
I needed to process what I was about to do and how it could affect me.
I was constantly battling myself—the good parts of me versus the bad.
I wasn’t sure which part was winning anymore.
It was a conflicting twist of emotions that had me arguing with myself, pacing back and forth along the gravel path.
Each rock crunched beneath my shoe, echoing through the morning mist that blanketed the small hill.
An overwhelming sense of guilt washed through me, shattering my bones as I held onto the metal shovel tightly.
This had to be the greatest sin I would ever commit. There was no coming back from this. The devil was already knocking at the door.
There was the part of me that wanted to run, to act as if Marco had never put this idea into my head. But I didn’t. Instead I lined my foot against the smooth edge of the metal and pushed the shovel into the ground.
My anxiety spiked with each dig, only making my guilt worse. I was disrupting the peace—not only hers, but the peace of those around me too. I knew I was doing something I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help but feel slightly compelled to do it anyway.
Finally, the shovel crashed against something hard. My heart sank. That was the casket.
Her grave was defiled, desecrated, and I’d been the one to make it that way.
Right in front of me was the spot she was meant to rest in for eternity, and yet here I was, disrupting her, for what?
A suspicion? Would she be all right with this and understand I needed closure after all these years, or would she think I was out of my mind?
Probably the latter, but I’d never seen a body.
I’d never seen her lifeless eyes tell me she’d never return to me.
Kneeling down, my fingers sifted through the dirt as I frantically scraped through clumps of clay. My heart began to race at the memory of her. She ran marathon after marathon in my head on a constant loop—one I liked to call my denial.
I leaned back against the wall of dirt, trying to catch a breath of air.
Then, crouching down, I gripped the sides of the casket and pulled on the latches. The sound of metal grinding against metal pierced the peaceful air, but that was all right, because there wasn’t a single thing about my actions that was peaceful.
Suddenly, the latches gave way, and I fell backward, my back crashing into the dirt wall of the grave. My heart leaped into my throat as I stared at the space before me in utter shock. The walls of the coffin were lined with soft white padding, with a pristine pillow where her head should be.
It was empty.