Chapter 12 #4
Like rain on fire, his response doused the excitement I’d felt mere seconds ago.
Over the course of our maybe, sort of date, I’d forgotten the Heartbreakers’ tour started in November.
I didn’t have any idea which part of the world Xander was jetting off to or whether we’d even be in the same time zone.
All I knew was that I didn’t want him to leave.
“How long will you be gone for?” I asked quietly.
“That depends on what you’re talking about. Do you mean when will I be home next, or how long does our entire tour last?”
“Both, I guess.”
“Well, the first leg is short. It ends right before Thanksgiving, so we’ll be home for the holiday,” he explained. “But the whole tour? That won’t wrap until August of next year.”
My ribs grew tight at his answer. Ten whole months? That was nearly a full year. So much could change in that time. If things went as planned and I got into Juilliard, I would be getting ready to move to New York by the time he returned.
“Wow.” I tried to sound neutral, but my voice betrayed the disappointment coursing through me. “That’s a long time.”
“Yeah, but we get breaks between each leg,” he said quickly, “and we can hang out then. Also, there’s this magical thing called FaceTime.
” He sounded so certain, like us spending time together was a no-brainer, but I couldn’t bring myself to respond.
Violet had made me a similar promise, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up.
“Where are you going first?” I asked instead.
“Latin America. We leave for Mexico City on Monday.”
Releasing a heavy sigh, I flopped onto the towel and stared up at the sky. “I’m going to miss you.” It was the closest I would allow myself to telling him the truth.
The truth that I liked him.
The truth that a small part of me wished he was a regular, cello-playing senior named Alex, not a famous musician who was about to leave for a worldwide tour.
I heard a rustling noise, and then Xander was kneeling over me. His head eclipsed my view of the moon, outlining his figure in a silver glow.
“Do you really mean that?” he asked.
“That I’ll miss you?” Despite the renewed hammering of my heart, my gaze remained fixed on him. “One thousand percent.”
Xander’s breath hitched. His eyes took in every inch of my face, lingering the longest on my lips, and when they finally found their way back to mine, he swallowed. “What have you eaten in the past five hours?”
“Um, I had an apple. Why?”
“Because I want to do this.”
When his head dipped down, it took my brain a split second to process what was happening, but then a dose of adrenaline spilled into my veins, and I rose up to meet him.
I miscalculated, or maybe we both did, but whatever the case, Xander’s jaw struck my forehead with an audible crack.
“Shit!” He jerked backward—in pain or shock, I wasn’t entirely sure—with a hand cupped around his chin. “Indie, I’m so sorry.”
“Pretty sure that was my fault,” I said, gently inspecting the sore spot on my skull.
All I wanted to do was bury my head in the sand, fling myself into the chilly Pacific waters, anything to forget the last thirty seconds.
Then, out of nowhere, involuntary laughter surged up my throat.
Sure, this would undoubtedly go down as one of my top five most embarrassing moments, but at least Xander had wanted to kiss me.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, and beneath the sharp tone of his voice, I could hear how embarrassed he was.
“I was just thinking,” I said, still giggling a little, “if anyone saw that, they’re probably pissing themselves laughing right now. I bet we looked ridiculous.”
Xander’s tight expression melted. He sat back on his heels and rubbed the base of his neck. “Yeah, that wasn’t my smoothest moment.”
“Mine either.” Taking a deep breath, I shook out my hair and attempted to project a confidence I didn’t currently feel. “Maybe we could try again?”
His eyes snapped back to mine. “You sure about that?”
I nodded and went still, this time waiting for him to come to me.
Xander leaned over, his moonlit hair tumbling forward, and as he brought his face down to mine, a tangle of bangs brushed my cheeks.
He circled an arm around my waist, and in the next breath, we were kissing.
His lips were soft, his kisses even more so, almost like he hoped to erase our earlier blunder by being as gentle as possible.
But I needed more of him.
Maybe it was because, for the first time in ages, I felt wanted, cherished even.
Not a hassle or an appointment on a calendar.
Xander held me as if no one else in the universe would ever fit between his arms, a precious treasure he spent a lifetime searching for.
I wrapped a hand around his neck, pulling him closer, while my other hand slid over the sharp line of his shoulder blade and down to his hip.
He responded by deepening the kiss, his mouth firm and hot on mine in a way that made my toes curl.
It didn’t take long for my chemistry goggles to become a hindrance, the boxy plastic knocking into Xander’s forehead every time we moved.
Grinning against his lips, I reached up and took them off.
The elastic headband caught in my hair, but with a quick jerk, I yanked the ugly eyewear free and tossed them into the dark.
He gripped me tighter then, pressing his body to mine, and when his long, slender fingers stroked the small of my back, a shiver ricocheted down my spine.
Without thinking, I gripped his shirt and tugged him backward, our lips never parting as we collapsed against the towel.
I couldn’t say how long we stayed like that for—chests pressed together, legs entwined, eager hands roving over hot skin—but when we finally pulled apart, my lips were numb from kissing.
The first thing I noticed when I looked at Xander was the stippling of shimmering blue dots across his face, and I burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“You’re covered in glitter.”
Eyes gleaming, he reached up and brushed a lock of hair—hair that was responsible for his current sparkly state—away from my face. “And whose fault is that?”
Instead of answering, I lifted myself up, just high enough to press my mouth against the underside of his jaw. His eyes fluttered closed at the contact, and as I worked my way down his throat, peppering every inch of skin with gentle kisses, he tilted his head back to give me better access.
“Hey, Indie?” His voice was low, husky.
“Mm-hmm?” I mumbled against him, and beneath my lips, I could feel his pulse fluttering.
“I’m going to miss you too.”