Chapter 17
Alec withdrew a ring of keys from his pocket, sifted through the collection of clinking silver and gold until he found the correct one, then unlocked the door. He flipped on the light to the control room, and we filed inside.
The space was long and rectangular, with a couch and coffee table to my left and a massive analog mixing board on the right.
The board was positioned in front of a glass window overlooking a live room, the performance area for instrumentalists and singers alike.
It was outfitted with microphones and mic stands, along with a plethora of instruments including a rack of guitars, a drum set, and a grand piano.
“Give me a moment to start up my laptop,” Alec said, lifting the flap of his messenger bag and drawing it out. After making my request to hear his song, Xander had gone out to the parking lot to retrieve him, and he’d brought us here.
“Does he have to turn on all that for me to hear the song?” I whispered, nodding at the expensive-looking equipment. There were all manner of buttons and dials and screens, none of which I knew the purpose of.
Xander stuck his hands in his pockets. “Nope. It’s on his computer.”
“Then why are we in here?” I asked, still taking in the control room.
It was a fascinating place, a combination of my imagination—fueled by the glamorous portrayals of recording studios I’d seen in movies and TV shows—and reality, which had more of a cozy home vibe; the furniture was worn, multiple water rings stained the wooden coffee table, and an oversize Persian rug covered the majority of the floor.
“Since you didn’t get to watch us record the song, I thought you might want to hear it where you could get a sense of the process.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is that stupid?”
“Of course not.” I felt a slight pang of guilt knowing I’d missed such an important moment.
I should have been here for Xander, especially after he’d opened up to me about feeling like the odd one out among his bandmates.
Leaning over, I pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Thank you. This was such a sweet gesture.”
When I pulled away, Alec was standing in front of us.
He passed his laptop to Xander. “You can hit Play whenever you’re ready. I missed a call from Felicity, so I’m going to call her back.” Whether it was the truth or an excuse to give us privacy, I was grateful as Alec slipped out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him.
“Shall we?” Xander asked, nodding at the couch. There was a note of nervousness in his voice, so I offered him an encouraging smile.
“I’ve wanted to hear this song ever since you agreed to write it,” I told him, plopping down onto one of the threadbare cushions and folding my legs beneath me. “I can’t wait.”
“Well,” Xander said, sitting down next to me, “I hope it doesn’t disappoint.”
It didn’t.
When he hit Play, I expected to hear an upbeat country song, not a slow-tempo acoustic ballad. When his voice spilled from the computer, I closed my eyes and listened.
That first summer I was bathed in light
And it felt like walking on water
But the rush is gone, I stand all alone
Eclipsed by others, greater
Now the season’s changed, I’m in the dark
And I think I’m taking on water
Screaming, “I’m still here,” but no one hears
Am I just a passing phase? I wonder
But then your voice
So strong and sweet
Echoes back to me
You take my hand
And by your side
I finally feel seen
Just a California girl
With gold in her eyes
And a hopeful boy
Under indigo skies
That cold fall night we lay in the sand
Do you know how that moment changed me?
Talking, laughing, kissing until dawn
Your conviction helped me break free
And now your voice
So strong and sweet
Resonates inside me
With your hand in mine
I’m flying high
Don’t need to feel seen
Just a California girl
With gold in her eyes
And a hopeful boy
Under indigo skies
You’re a California girl
With gold in your eyes
I’m a boy in love
Under indigo skies
By the time the music faded, there were tears in my eyes.
Even with Violet singing the chorus of the song, the lyrics clearly belonged to Xander. They told his story, our story, and I was at a loss for words. After several silent seconds ticked by, Xander lifted his gaze to meet mine. His eyes went wide when he saw me.
“Oh my God. Indie, why are you crying?”
“Because that was beautiful,” I said, wiping my tear-stained cheeks with the back of my hand. It was taking every ounce of my control to keep myself from sobbing and turning into a blubbering mess.
“You really think so?”
“No, I’m crying because it sucked so bad that I’ll probably be traumatized for life,” I said, shooting him a look. “Of course I think so, you big dork.”
He grinned, lifting his shoulder in a half shrug. “Hey, you never know. Maybe you hated it and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. It was a bit personal after all.”
“No one has ever written a song for me before.” Or done anything remotely romantic for me. Just thinking about the lyrics was enough to make my heart race. “I could never hate it.”
Xander visibly relaxed. “You don’t know how much of a relief that is.”
“What’s it called?” I asked, even though I had an inkling.
“‘Indigo Skies.’”
I opened my mouth, wanting to explain to him how much this meant to me, how proud I was of him for writing it, but Alec had returned.
“I’m back,” he announced, slipping his cell into his pocket as he stepped into the room. He immediately focused on me. “What do you think?”
“I love it,” I told him truthfully. “It’s seriously amazing.”
He crossed his arms, his mouth scrunching up on one side as if he didn’t like my answer. “Okay, sure, overall, it’s fine, but don’t you think there’s something missing?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve only heard it once.”
So Alec made me listen to the song again. And again.
“Now what do you think?” he asked after the third listen.
“It’s beautiful, but…”
Alec leaned forward, eyes eager. “Yes?”
“I don’t know. The melody is a bit—calm? Almost like it’s too subtle,” I replied, struggling to come up with the right words to explain what I was thinking. Producing music was outside my area of expertise. “Maybe it needs more intensity. Can you edge it up a bit?”
“Yes,” Alec said, snapping his fingers and pointing at me in agreement. “That’s what I thought too. I tried to amp things up with an electric guitar, but it didn’t sound right.”
“Hmm.” Tugging on my bottom lip, I glanced around the room in thought.
When my gaze landed on a rack of instruments in the live room, an idea began unfolding in my mind, but it didn’t present itself to me in words.
I could hear the notes of a new melody playing inside my head, and my fingers itched to bring it to life.
“Can I grab something out of there?” I asked Alec, pointing at the glass window.
Without a word, he extracted his key ring. After flipping through it and singling out a key with red nail polish painted on the head, he passed it over to me. “First door on your left.”
“Thanks,” I said, striding out of the room. I came back two minutes later with a violin clutched in my hands. “Suppose an electric guitar wasn’t the right instrument?”
“Okay,” Alec asked, his eyes sparkling. “What are you thinking?”
Taking a deep breath, I settled the violin between my shoulder and chin, raised my bow, and started to play.
The new tune flourishing inside my head flowed out of me, filling the room with a wild, haunting sound.
When I finished, I lowered the instrument and peeked over at the boys, nervous about their reaction.
“Something like that? We could add it to the pre-chorus.”
Xander gaped at me. “Did you come up with that just now?”
I nodded. “I—yeah. Was that bad? If you don’t like it, you can ignore me. It was just an idea.”
“Indie,” Xander said, his mouth still hanging open. “That was amazing.”
Alec rubbed his chin. “I like it, but can you go higher on that last note?”
“Sure.” I started over, this time making a small change to the ending. “How was that?”
“Good,” Alec answered, but he wasn’t looking at me. He’d thrown himself onto the rolling chair in front of the mixing board and was busy booting up a computer. “I need you to play it again, exactly how you did just now.”
“Um, okay. Why?”
He glanced back at me, his brow pinched together as if I’d asked the most obvious question in the world. “For the song.”
“Wait a minute.” My breath caught in my throat. “You want to record me and add it to Xander’s song?” I’d never created new music before, only performed existing pieces, but something about this was exhilarating—I felt jittery and ecstatic all at once.
“Yes, Indie. Your idea, your melody, your playing—it’s all perfect.”
* * *
“How’d it go?” Dad asked, appearing at the door as soon as I stepped into the mudroom.
After recording the new instrumental part for Xander’s song, I wished him and Alec good luck on the next leg of their tour and drove home.
Although I wanted to spend as much time with Xander as possible, I’d been at the studio for over an hour and didn’t want to push my luck.
Not when Dad was trying his best to be as present as possible.
Surely he’d notice if I was out all afternoon.
“It didn’t.” With a sigh, I dropped my bag and car keys into my designated cubby, then bent over to yank off my Docs. “Violet was already gone by the time I got there. Is she home?”
“No,” he said, crossing his arms as my first boot thunked against the floor. It was quickly followed by its mate. “I thought I told you to text her before you left?”
“I did, but she didn’t answer,” I said, straightening up. “I figured she was busy working and hadn’t seen it, but I guess not.” My heart fluttered uncomfortably around the half-truth, and I quickly looked away.