Chapter 19
A hush fell over the crowd as the opening notes of the song poured from Xander’s guitar.
He bowed his head as if he was solely focused on his fingers moving over the strings, but from where I was standing, I could see his eyes were closed.
Almost like he was savoring this moment, his first time standing center stage.
When it was time for the first verse to begin, his eyes fluttered open, and he raised his gaze to the audience.
There was no way to describe what happened next as anything other than magical.
Xander’s voice on the recording had been beautiful—deep and silvery, a tone that melted perfectly with Violet’s sweet, high range.
But live? He sounded raw, filled with emotion, moving.
I was left nearly breathless by the sound of it.
In fact, I was so caught up in his performance, I nearly forgot that I was part of it too. But just before the bridge began, Xander turned toward me and nodded, like he was welcoming me into the song. I hastily raised my bow and joined him.
The next three minutes passed in an adrenaline-pumping blur.
“Indie, Xander—that was amazing!” Oliver exclaimed as we stepped offstage to loud applause. He flashed me a dimpled grin before punching his bandmate on the arm in congratulations. “Dude, did you really write that?”
Xander nodded as he lifted the guitar strap over his head and set the instrument down.
Oliver’s mouth curled into a smile as he shook his head. “Are you shitting me? What’s wrong with you, man?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why the hell haven’t you written anything for us before?”
“I don’t know,” Xander muttered, looking both surprised and pleased by his friend’s response. “I guess it always felt like your thing.”
This made Oliver frown. “Well, that’s stupid. It’s clearly your thing too.”
“You think so?” The expression on Xander’s face was filled with doubt.
“You really have to ask?” Oliver shot back. “Dude, I don’t understand why you’d keep a talent like that hidden. I hope you realize we’re writing our next album together whether you like it or not.”
“Honestly, I don’t know what to say.” Xander dropped his gaze so his friends couldn’t see the look in his eyes, but the emotion was clear in his voice.
“Say you’ll do it,” JJ replied, slinging an arm over Xander’s shoulder and grinning wide. “If you don’t, the entire track list will just be mushy love songs about Stella.”
“We should also add this song to our tour set list,” Alec added. “Everyone tonight loved it.”
At this, Xander’s eyes practically bulged out of his skull. “Oh no,” he said, holding his hands up. “We don’t have to—”
“That’s an excellent idea.” Oliver whipped out his phone. “I’ll text Courtney and see what she says, but I think it would fit great between ‘All These Stars’ and ‘Tough Love.’ I can’t play the violin, but maybe I can do Indie’s part on the piano?”
“Ooh! And I can do an interpretive dance in the background. Think we can make time for a costume change?”
“Shut up, JJ.”
“Hey, I’m being serious here!”
As the boys continued to discuss the different ways they could work Xander’s song into their show, I carefully placed my borrowed violin back in its case and secured the latches. When I straightened up, Violet was standing in front of me.
“Jesus!” I gasped, clutching a hand to my heart. “You scared the living daylights out of me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Her face was a mask as she tucked a curl behind her ear. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Violet and I walked around the side of the house and found a quiet spot on a garden bench where we could have a private conversation.
“Wow, how did you know this was here?” I asked as we sat down. The hedges were tall enough that nobody would be able to see us from the patio.
“Gabe and I have read lines here before,” she explained, not meeting my gaze. Her attention was focused on the delicate gold bracelet circling her wrist. As she fiddled with a charm, I recognized it immediately as the gift Dad gave her when she won her first Saturn Award for best actress.
Nodding, I waited for Violet to continue.
After all, she was the one who’d asked to talk, and I wanted to give her that opportunity since I’d already said my piece onstage.
But Violet seemed content with staring at her hands, and as the hum and chatter of the party drifted in our direction, an uncomfortable silence spiraled between us.
“Look, Vi,” I said when I couldn’t stand it anymore. “I didn’t mean to ruin your party, but I really needed to tell you how sorry I am. I spoke with Dad a few nights ago, and he told me what happened between him and Mom. I never should have blamed you for—”
“Please stop,” she said, still not looking at me. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
Wait, what?
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m the one who went all mega bitch on you at the recording studio. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She let out a long sigh and looked up at me.
To my complete shock, her eyes were glossy.
“That’s not true. I’ve said some pretty horrible things to you the past few months, and even though Mom and Dad’s divorce wasn’t my fault, I understand why you thought it was.
I’m so sorry, Indie. I want to make things up to you, so I’m going to withdraw from my Lady Phoenix audition. ”
Holy. Freaking. Shit.
When I came up with the plan to crash her birthday, I figured the most likely outcome would be that Violet kicked me out. My hope, however, was that she’d forgive me. Even a begrudged form of forgiveness would have been okay in my book.
But an actual, bona fide apology?
That was so unexpectedly mind-boggling that it took me a moment to process the words she’d spoken. My sister was apologizing. To me.
What strange new world was this?
“I really appreciate that, Vi, but everything you said? How I blame others for my problems and run away when things get too hard?” I replied. “That was all the truth.”
Shoulders hunching, Violet pinned her arms against her stomach. “Just because what I said was true doesn’t mean the way I said it wasn’t cruel. I was pissed and frustrated, so I lashed out at you, and that’s not fair.”
I shrugged, still completely baffled by the direction our conversation was going. “Then I guess I got what I deserved, considering I’ve been lashing out at you for years.”
“Oh, Indie,” she said, her voice smaller than I’d ever heard it.
“You can’t put this all on yourself. A relationship isn’t a one-way street.
It takes two people. You had every right to be angry with me.
I’ve spent the past five years focusing on my career at the expense of being a good sister.
It’s no wonder you blamed me for Mom and Dad. ”
I blinked at Violet. Replayed her confession in my head. For years, I’d been waiting to hear those words. I thought I’d feel a sense of relief or vindication. Instead, an empty, hollow feeling rattled around inside my chest.
“So,” I said after a minute, “what changed?”
“Well, I had a very long conversation with Mom after Vanessa’s wedding. You’d already gone to bed, but we sat at the hotel bar talking until it closed,” she explained. “Mom had just accepted her position with the Baltimore orchestra, and she was really worried about leaving you.”
“Why?”
Violet looked at me like I was being dumb. “Oh, come on. If anyone knows how dedicated Dad is to his job, it’s the woman who divorced him. She was concerned about you being lonely, so she reminded me of how close we used to be before…well, you know.”
“Okay?” I said, still not understanding.
“It hit me that you’ll be off to college soon and the next few months might be my last opportunity to fix things. I didn’t want you to leave when there was so much animosity between us, so that’s why I’ve been hanging out more often. It’s why I invited you to Comic Con.”
For a moment, I just stared at Violet as I sifted through the new information she’d given me. “So let me get this straight—you being on my case about Juilliard…that was you trying to fix things?” I asked skeptically. “No offense, but that was pretty much the worst way to go about it.”
A flush colored Violet’s cheeks. “No, not exactly.”
“Then…why?”
“It’s just—I’ve always been a little bit jealous of you with the violin. You’re so talented, and I didn’t want to see that go to waste.”
“Violet,” I said with slow disbelief, “don’t be ridiculous. You’re a famous actress. Why would you ever be jealous of me?” And before she had a chance to answer, I added, “Besides, you could’ve learned how to play, but you gave up after a handful of lessons.”
“I quit because I didn’t want to slow you down,” Violet told me.
“I wasn’t terrible by any stretch, but I also wasn’t a child prodigy.
Mom was always patient with me, but she was different when she taught you.
Her eyes would light up, and I could tell how thrilled she was that you had a knack for it.
Everyone who heard you play knew it was something special.
I think that’s the reason why I started putting on plays and trying to entertain people—I wanted them to see me too. ”
“But—” I broke off and shook my head. “I don’t even know how to respond to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” She reached out and took my hand in hers. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I just want you to understand why I pushed so hard. A gift like yours shouldn’t be wasted.”
I shifted uncomfortably on the bench as a hot, tingling sensation crept up my neck and face.
This was probably the right moment to fess up about missing Juilliard’s application deadline, but I was too chicken.
“God,” I said, pulling away from her, “we’re idiots for being jealous of each other for all these years. ”
Violet started to nod in agreement but then realized what I’d said and shot me a confused frown. “What are you jealous of? You’ve made it crystal clear how much you dislike my career and the spotlight.”