7. Cade
Fall Into Me - Forest Blakk
I ’m sitting on my back porch, the early November light casting a faint glow over the rustic Kentucky landscape, a fresh cup of coffee in hand. Replaying the events of Halloween stirs up a strange mix of protectiveness and something else I can’t quite name. Seeing Paige so distraught, eyes red and puffy, and being unable to reach out and console her the way I wanted to was a special kind of torture. Now, as the first rays of sun paint the skies in shades of pink and orange, I find my thoughts drifting back to the girl I might never be able to touch.
The way she showed her strength, resilience, and vulnerability to me, someone she barely knew, stirred something inside me. I’ve always been good at keeping my distance from people, especially women, but Paige changed everything for me. I have this powerful need to protect her from anything that might make her look at me with the same sadness she had on Halloween. The mascara tracks on her cheeks had dried, but there was still a pr ofound sorrow in her eyes. As far as I was concerned, it didn’t belong there, and I would do everything in my power to wash it away.
I’d be lying if I said she wasn’t a constant presence in my mind over the past few weeks. It should have been absurd how quickly I had developed feelings for Paige; I live 800 miles away. The thought of anything more with her is entirely unrealistic. I need to quell whatever is happening between us before it spirals out of control, but my restraint is barely holding on.
I get lost in the memories of the day we met and the conversations that followed. I’m not sure how much time passes before I’m snapped out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing on the table beside me, the screen lighting up with a new message. My heart skips a beat when I see that it’s from Paige. I open the message, and a wide smile spreads across my face as I stare at the selfie on my screen.
Paige is standing in front of a snowy Canadian landscape, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold, and I wonder, not for the first time, what else I could do to make her cheeks that color. Her dark, curly hair is cascading around her face, secured only by the pompom tipped beanie on her head, her face alight with a radiant smile. A dimple on each cheek and faint laugh lines near her eyes tell me that this is her genuine smile, one of the first times it has ever been aimed at me, however indirectly. Despite the distance and our decision to remain friends, I can’t help the rush of excitement I feel whenever I see her.
Paige: Thought you’d like to see the first snow of the season !
I stare at the photo for a moment, feeling a bittersweet pang of longing. The friendship we’ve built is genuine and warm, but there’s a lingering sense of what might have been if our circumstances were different. I type back a quick reply, commenting on the beauty of the scenery and avoiding any inclination to comment on the beauty of the woman in the photograph. I’m self-aware enough to know it’s kinda stalker-ish, but I can’t resist — I tap the download button and add it to my “Sunshine” album.
Paige
“Morning,” I greet Mags, who's perched on a stool at the island as I head into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and a quick breakfast. She looks a lot more exuberant than she usually is in the mornings, a glint of something like amusement in her eyes.
“Babe, I think you missed the elephant in the room.”
“What do you —” My words trail off as I notice the enormous box sitting beside Maggie on the kitchen island. “What the hell is that?”
“Looks like you got a package,” she pauses, I assume for dramatic effect, before continuing, “From Kentucky.” She draws out the last words like a song.
My entire body freezes. Cade sent me a package? I stand in stunned silence, assessing the unmarked box for far too long when Mags’ impatient voice snaps me out of my stupor, “Um, are you going to keep doing your best impression of a deer in headlights or are you planning to open it?”
I walk over to the kitchen drawer, grabbing a pair of scissors to slice open the impressive amount of tape surrounding the somewhat mangled remains of my package. It definitely went through a lot to get here. I manage to get the box open without too much effort on my part. The inside is filled with tissue paper, on top of which s its an envelope with my name written in a messy scrawl with a little sun doodled beside it, in what I’m certain is Cade’s handwriting.
“Oh my god, read it out loud!” Mags squeals in delight.
“Ever heard of patience? At least let me read it first.”
Paige,
I hope this package makes it all the way to your igloo in the great white north. Just wanted to send you a little something to make you smile.
Yours,
Cade
P.S. I snapped this photo of the sunrise
over the lake behind my house.
I hope it brings you comfort.
Sure enough, tucked inside the envelope is a small polaroid photograph of a sunrise reflecting on the surface of a lake and my heart fills with affection. Confirming the note is, indeed, safe for Mags’ eyes. I hand the envelope over to her and remove the tissue paper from the top of the box. The first item is a box of Earl Grey Tea — my favorite. Next is what feels like a book wrapped in brown paper.
The wrapping is intricately folded with little stickers and a bookmark tucked into its creases, ‘Blind Date with a Book’ written on the bottom with a stamp for some place called Chapters something earthy. I bring the hoodie to my nose and inhale, trying to memorize what I imagine Cade smells like. It looks new, so I can’t tell for sure if he wore it before sending it to me, and I don’t let my mind wander down the dangerous path.
“Wow, Kentucky Fried Hottie’s got game.”
“He’s a friend, Mags,” I say with an unconvincing eye roll and a little less conviction than usual. I pull the hoodie over my head, feeling the softness envelop me like a warm hug, the earthy scent soothing my frayed emotions. The package itself isn’t really what’s sending me spiraling; it’s the last 2 words of the letter.
Yours,
Cade
Logically, I know he’s not mine, but I’m not quite sure my heart has caught up yet. It’s been a week since the call on Halloween and he hasn’t mentioned anything about sending me a care package. I don’t know what to make of it.
I need to text Cade to say thank you, but the words don’t seem like enough. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me, completely unprovoked. I’m not used to someone wanting to take care of me. I’m not even sure if that’s what this is. I decide it’s best to keep it simple, sending him a selfie of me wearing the hoodie with a quick thank you text accompanying it.
“So, when are you going to admit you’re falling for him?” Mags asks with nothing but sincerity.
“I’m not. This can’t be anything more than friendship.” There’s strain in my v oice when I say the words out loud as something like longing washes over me.
“The way you’re sniffing his hoodie would suggest otherwise.”
“He smells good,” I say with a shrug.
“Right. Sure. So if his double date goes well and he ends up taking a girl home with him after, you’d be totally cool with it?” I wince at her words. Do I love the idea of Cade with someone else? No. But I don’t have any claim on him.
“That’s what I thought,” she says with a knowing glint in her eyes.