Epilogue
Paig e
Next Thing You Know - Jordan Davis
The immigration interview at the consulate in Montreal went well, and I finally crossed the border as a permanent resident 1 week ago. Luca and Mom should arrive with the U-Haul later today and I’m doing my best not to throw up. I’ve been staying in Kentucky 4 months on and 1 month off for over a year and it’s finally time to make this move official. My body is practically vibrating with excitement.
“Mags, I love you, but I thought we agreed that this pumpkin carving thing was a bad idea?”
“I distinctly remember that we agreed to make this a tradition.”
“Doesn’t ring a bell,” I say, bumping our shoulders together in a placating gesture.
“Remind me why I’m here?” Miles asks. Cade is sitting to his left, directly across from me, giving me an amused expression, elbow deep in his misshapen pumpkin. Those two are a nightmare when they’re in the same room, but Cade insisted he needed more male energy for this activity, and I can’t say I blame him — Mags and I can be a lot when we’re together.
I’m scooping out the last spoonful of pumpkin guts when a sudden rush of nausea hits, and I feel the blood rushing out of my cheeks.
“Baby, are you okay? You’re white as a ghost,” Cade says. I shake my head and dart into the small half bath off the kitchen, emptying my stomach into the toilet. I hear soft footfalls before Cade is crouching down at my side. He gathers and divides my curls into 3 strands, making a quick braid that he ties off with the scrunchie he often still wears on his wrist.
I sit like that for a moment or two, my cheek resting on the porcelain. I momentarily thank whatever gods exist that I cleaned this bathroom earlier today while simultaneously admiring my husband, who is looking at me with concern and affection. His fingers brush against my forehead in a soothing motion. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“Gas station breakfast sandwich,” I mutter. “I told you they’re evil.”
“I’m sorry, love. Can you get up now, or do you need more time?”
“I think I’m okay.”
Cade helps me back onto my feet and we return to the kitchen, where Maggie is sitting back in her chair, arms crossed, staring daggers at Miles. I’ve learned to let them have their moments, so we resume our tasks, completely ignoring the tension in the room.
I’m almost finished carving out a perfect heart when I realize I’ve forgotten the most important part.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, darting up the stairs to grab the finishing touch I picked up earlier this week. I slide the little piece of paper into my back pocket, returning to the table and taking my place beside Mags, who looks at me with narrowed eyes.
“You good?” she asks .
“Yep. Everybody almost done?” Cade turns his pumpkin, showing off the traditional triangle-eyed, gap toothed jack-o’-lantern design. I smile before glancing over at Miles’ creation — an impressive rendering of Jack Skellington.
“I had no idea you were so creative, Miles.” He beams at me from his spot across the island and I hear Mags harrumph beside me, causing Cade to snort.
“Miles enters the carving contest at the fall festival every year,” Cade explains.
“Yep! Need to come up with a killer design for tomorrow,” Miles adds.
“Ok, Mags, show us what you got!” I cut in enthusiastically, hoping to ease the tension in the room. Mags turns her pumpkin around, showing off what looks like the night sky above a mountain range, and it’s actually pretty impressive, considering what last year’s pumpkin looked like. She holds up the stencil she used and her sudden artistic prowess makes sense.
“Cheater,” Miles scoffs. Mags nearly jumps out of her seat to lunge at Miles, but I stop her in her tracks when she glances at my pumpkin.
“Paige…” she says, her eyes meet mine and they’re glassy. I nod then hold my index finger to my lips, pleading with my eyes for her to keep quiet a while longer. Cade is too busy cleaning some of our mess to notice the exchange.
“Hey babe, can you run out to the truck? I left the bag of tea lights on the front seat.” He nods and rises from his chair. I carefully turn my pumpkin towards Mags, shielding it from his view before he’s out of sight.
“Ok, you two carry your pumpkins out to the front porch steps. I’ll be behind you.” But Miles isn’t listening. He’s too busy staring at my pumpkin, slack jawed. I snap my fingers at him. We don’t have time to waste.
“Miles! Let’s go. Carry your pumpkin beside Mags, please.” They both grumble but comply. I walk out behind them, taking a seat in the middle of the porch steps with my pumpkin in my lap. Mags and Miles place theirs on either side of the railing, then walk out onto the gravel path leading to the circle drive. Maggie whispers something to Miles and I can see understanding dawn when he nods back at her.
Cade finally finds the bag that I may or may not have hidden a little under my seat to stall him. He’s walking in my direction, completely oblivious to the scene before him. I can tell the moment something registers because his brow furrows and he stops in his tracks, the bag dropping from his hand only three steps away from where I’m seated. He’s staring straight at the pumpkin in my hands, a simple heart carved in the center with our baby’s first ultrasound inside. It’s barely more than the size of a jellybean, but the mere thought of a child belonging to us makes my heart swell. Half of me, and half of the man I love so completely and irrevocably.
“Paige…” his eyes are glistening with unshed tears as his words get stuck in his throat. He shakes his head, composing himself to speak. “Are you… pregnant?”
I nod my head, then carefully place the pumpkin beside me on the stairs. If I know Cade, he’s about to pounce on me and I don’t want it to become a casualty of his enthusiastic affection. Sure enough, he barrels over to me, lifting me off the ground before crashing his mouth down on mine.
“I’m so fucking happy,” he says, peppering my cheeks with kisses. He pulls away, tears tracking down his face, gripping my hands in his as he gazes down at my belly. I’m not showing yet at only 6 weeks along. Being plus size and pregnant means it’ll likely take a bit longer for my bump to pop, but he’s staring at me with so much love, I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. Cade lets go of my hands and steps closer to put his palms on my belly as he gets down on his knees, kissing the spot w here our baby grows.
“I love you already,” he whispers, and now we’re both crying. In this moment, I have everything I’ve ever wanted — a home, a family I chose for myself, and more love than I know what to do with.
Cade
I’m not sure how long I stay like that, on my knees for my girl and the tiny human growing inside of her, but the gravel bites into my knees and I wince.
“You okay there, Cowboy?”
“Never better,” I say as I stand, pulling her into my arms to lay a kiss on her head.
I completely forget that Mags and Miles are here until they both rush over and wrap their arms around us from both sides. “Congratulations!” Mags says.
“Can’t believe you’re gonna be a daddy, man! Congrats.” Miles claps me on the shoulder as the crunching sound of tires on gravel echoes behind us.
“Oh shit, I didn’t realize they would be here so soon.” Paige’s face goes white and I look around, spotting the U-Haul parking behind my truck.
“Fuck.” Judging by her stuttered breaths, I already know Paige is nervous about her mom’s reaction. “It’ll be okay, baby. Can you take a few deep breaths with me?” Her therapy appointments have been helpful in teaching her how to self-soothe in healthy ways. Evelyn showed her some breathing exercises to help with her anxiety when it gets to be too much.
I squeeze both of her hands in mine and inhale a breath along with her. In for 4, out for 6. We do that several times, and she finally calms down enough to wrap her arms around me in a sweet embrace, just in time for Cecelia and Luca to approach us. I met them both on a trip to Northbrook a few months ago, so it’s not our first interaction.
It went well, but it wasn’t without tension. Forgiveness isn’t a linear path, but we’re getting there.
We’re still navigating shaky waters with my mom, having gone mostly no contact except for family birthdays and holidays. I have no doubt that she’ll lose her mind when she finds out about the pregnancy, but I honestly couldn’t care less how she feels about it. We’re happy and that’s what truly matters.
“How was the trip down?” I ask Luca, offering my hand in welcome.
“Not bad,” he replies, but his eyes bug out as he tilts his head towards his mother. “Somewhat long, but we made it.” Paige doesn’t miss his insinuation either, and we laugh together.
“Hi honey,” Cecelia says, pulling Paige into a quick embrace. My wife’s posture is rigid, but she goes willingly. It’s then that I notice Mags out of the corner of my eye, moving in the direction of the steps where the offending pumpkin is sitting. She quickly turns it to face the opposite direction and scoots it towards her own pumpkin, hiding the ultrasound from view. I nod, sending her a silent thank you. As much as I can’t wait to tell the whole world about our news, I don’t think we’re quite ready to tread these particularly murky waters today.
The rest of the day is spent unloading the U-Haul. At some point, Paige pulled the little black and white photo out of its perch and placed it on her nightstand. Cecelia and Luca are staying at the Inn in town, so we say our goodbyes shortly after dinner before heading to bed where I intend to show my wife exactly how happy I am.
As I come up behind my girl, I wrap my arms around her waist, lifting the hem of her oversized tee to run my hands over her belly. I place a soft kiss on the spot between her neck and shoulder, and she shivers at the touch of my lips. “I love you, baby,” I whisper.
“Just to clarify, are you talking to me or the bean?” She laughs, and it’s still my favorite sound in the entire world.
“Both, actually. I love you both.”
She turns in my arms, her hand skating over my stubbled jaw before she pulls my face down to hers. Our lips meet in a languid kiss, as though we’re tasting each other for the first time. It’s been over a year since that first text message and while you could definitely accuse us of moving too quickly, I will never regret the path I set us on all those months ago.
Bending at my knees, I lift my wife and walk us further into the room. Laying her on her back in the middle of the bed, I slowly remove her leggings and panties in one swift motion, then part her thighs, taking one leg over my shoulder as I place a trail of kisses across her skin all the way to her core. She says my name in a breathy sigh as I lick her pussy in one smooth stroke.
“Fuuuuuuck, Cade.”
“You like that, my love?”
“God yes, more.”
I dive headfirst into her soaked cunt, devouring her like a man starved. Her fingers thread through my hair as she rocks her hips against me, and it’s not long before she’s coming undone on my face.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” I tell her. “I’ll never get enough of you.”
“Fuck me, Cade. I need you.”
I lift myself to standing, tossing my shirt to the floor before shucking my pants and boxers. I kneel between her thighs and place another trail of kisses along her belly before I notch myself at her entrance, slowly easing myself inside.
“I’m not fragile, Cowboy. I promise you won’t hurt me.”
“I’m worried about the baby.” I confess. I don’t know much about pregnancy. My sisters have kids, but I was never very i nvolved in their pregnancies and I’m not sure what we can and can’t do in the bedroom.
“I’ll be okay, babe. Move, please. I need to feel you, and these hormones are making me so fucking horny.” My face lights up with her admission, knowing I’ll be taking full advantage of her heightened libido. I plunge forward, giving my girl exactly what she wants.
“Yes, fuck. Just like that. Don’t stop,” she chants. She’s glistening as the moonlight streams in through the open window and she’s never looked more beautiful than she does right at this moment. The knowledge that she’s carrying my child does crazy things to my heart, and my dick. I’m already hanging on by a thread as she cries out her release, taking me over the edge with her.
“I love you, Paige.”
“I love you too, Cowboy.”
We lay there for a minute or two, completely spent and breathless. I’m the first to move, retreating to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth to clean our mess before returning to my side of the bed. She pulls the covers back, allowing me to slide in beside her and I wrap my arms around her waist, laying my head on her soft belly. She plays with my hair, stroking her fingers along my scalp, and a sense of contentment and peace settles over us as I drift off to sleep, holding the two most important people in my life. Here’s to another new beginning.