Chapter 12
CY
“What are you really doing here?”
Asher finally caught one of the hundred hints I’ve sent his direction in the last fifteen minutes and got his ass out of here.
During that time, the three of us fed the kittens, and Asher and Sydney joked and chatted like they’re the best of friends. Every minute or so I had to remind myself that if I punch Asher, I’ll probably end up on my ass. The guy has studied martial arts his whole life.
But while he’s a trained black belt, he’s never been known for his subtlety.
A soft heart for animals, yes. When we toured, he’d drag us with him to shelters in every city. So I wasn’t surprised a bit when he took over here.
I visit often and pitch in when he’s short on volunteers. So when he called and told me that a box of kittens had been dropped off without their mother, I hopped in the car without a second thought.
But none of that explains what the woman I can’t stop thinking about is doing here.
“What are you doing here?” she deflects, keeping her focus on the kitten in her arms, her strawberry blond hair creating a curtain that hides her face.
The urge to tuck it behind her ear, to tip her chin up so those deep green eyes are fixed on me, itches along my fingertips. The itch, though, quickly tuns into a sharp sting.
“Fuck,” I hiss. I’ve been too busy staring at Sydney to realize the hand with the bottle has drifted away from her mouth. The claws she dug into my skin got her point across very clearly. “Sorry.”
I position the bottle closer and she sucks greedily once more.
By the loud slurping noises she makes, the tiny thing must be starving.
She’s the smallest of the three, and her hungry antics make me smile.
I feel lighter than I did when I walked in here.
Just like I always do. Asher’s timing has always been uncanny that way.
“Are you okay?” Sydney frowns at my hand.
I assess it but don’t find any scratches that won’t fade before I leave here.
“Yeah, no blood. I’m good.”
We fall silent, and once the kittens finish eating, I show her their playpen-like structure complete with electric blanket to ensure they’re warm since they don’t have a mother to curl up against.
Free of the kittens, I head for the empty back room, where I measure out food and fill the empty bowls.
She follows behind me, picking up and filling water bowls. “I thought Asher was back here.”
Jealousy spikes hot and hard. “Outside with the dogs,” I say a little too sharply. “He didn’t want to be in the way.”
She scans the large room, her lips pulled down. “He’s not. This is his place.”
“He finally took the hint that we might want to talk, so he took everyone out to the playground.” Behind the building, Asher has created a dog’s paradise, complete with soft grass and toys for every personality.
“Oh.” She keeps her focus fixed on her work, filling bowls.
She doesn’t even mean to do it, yet she draws my attention like a flame calls to a moth. “You didn’t answer my question,” I say quietly.
We’re standing shoulder to shoulder, so when she sighs, I feel it more than hear it.
“I was in the kitchen when you left. Since you didn’t take a camera crew or a date, I was curious.”
Curious.
The way she makes me feel.
I want to know more about her. A lot more. But I have a feeling that if I ask the questions I want answers to, she’ll clam up. Any information I get will have to be volunteered.
“Asher called when he found the kittens. He’s short on volunteers right now. And I was close by.”
That’s the truth. At least part of it.
“Asher owns this place?”
“Yep. He bought it from the previous owners when they were ready to retire, but he and I have been coming here for years.”
“It’s not—” She closes her mouth and shakes her head.
“What?” I ask, dipping in closer.
“I’ve never heard about the two of you coming here,” she blurts out.
A grin stretches my cheeks as a bolt of excitement works its way through me.
I didn’t even have to push for that information. It was right there, just waiting for permission to be set free. Like she couldn’t help herself.
It’s fucking adorable.
“We don’t publicize it. He and I have both done adoption fairs for years, and we make sure those are advertised, but this is different.
This is for me. Not for my image. The dogs don’t care about my last movie.
Or my next. They just want a companion who’ll throw a ball and give them love.
They want someone to love too. And for a few hours, I get to be that for them. ”
Fuck. Shut up. She’s going to think you’re nothing but a pussy.
Discomfort rolls through me. Shit. Why the hell did I have to go and spill my guts like that?
Sydney, ever unpredictable, only softens as she listens. Her body relaxes and her eyes warm as we look at one another without saying anything for several heartbeats.
Then she smiles.
A real smile, and it hits me like a blow to the solar plexus, making it hard to breathe.
“That’s…” She trails off.
“Sweet?” I offer and bat my eyes at her.
She laughs, shaking her head. “No. I mean, yeah, it is sweet. But I was gonna go with unexpected.”
I pick up another empty bowl, shrugging. “It’s true.”
“Yeah, I know.” Her eyes round, her mouth dropping open for a heartbeat before she recovers. “I know.”
We continue working, the only sounds the rush of water and the plink of food being poured into each of the bowls.
“Have you ever thought about getting a dog?” she asks as we finish up.
“Too many times to count. I had dogs growing up. My family has a ranch. And I had a golden retriever named Remy until I joined the band.”
A sharp pain flares to life in my chest, just a catch, but it stings. It happens every time I think about Remy. There was a time when he was my best friend, my sidekick, and my constant companion.
“What happened to him?”
Head down, I put the food scoop in the bucket and twist the container closed, swallowing the emotion that clogs my throat.
“He got older. I think I was in Germany when my mom called to tell me he had passed. She said he fell asleep under the dining room table, and when she called him to go outside, he didn’t respond. He was gone. Passed in his sleep.”
And fuck if that doesn’t still hurt. Tears sting my nose, but I clear my throat and rein it in before any can fall.
“It’s stupid, right? Remy’s been gone for ten years. And I still think I hear him padding around in my house. But he never even lived in my house, you know?”
She closes the distance and wraps her arms around me. Hints of vanilla tease my senses, and without thought, I bury my nose into her hair, breathing deeply.
The sting of Remy’s loss is still there.
A hole I don’t think could ever be filled.
But her embrace lightens the sensation, taking away a bit of the pain.
Easing the guilt that still swamps me. Because I wasn’t home.
I didn’t go back once. Fuck, what I’d give to throw a stick for him just one more time.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs.
We stay like that long enough for my heartbeat to match hers. For the pain of missing Remy to fade to a dull ache.
When we pull apart, her eyes find mine. They’re filled with a warmth that heals me even further. Like those deep emerald-colored eyes are stitching pieces of my heart back together.
I glide my fingers along the back of her arms, drawn to the soft skin there.
“Sydney,” I whisper.
The need to kiss her overpowers every other thought. Just like it did when I stopped into her room to check on her. Just like it did on the veranda last night. But I swore to myself that she’d have to be the one to make the first move.
“Hmm?” Her gaze has taken on a dreamlike quality, softening even further.
Her lashes flutter closed and open again. As the two of us stare into one another’s eyes, she drags her tongue over her bottom lip.
“I really want to kiss you.”
So. Fucking. Much.
Then what are you waiting for?
I want her permission. I crave it more than anything else. Because behind that ice queen demeanor, there’s a fire, and I want a sample of it. A blaze that will burn us to the ground once my lips touch hers.
“Can I?”
Hands fisted at my sides, I use every ounce of control I possess to hold back. To keep myself from crushing my lips to hers. Waiting. Just one word. That’s all I need.
She blinks and shakes her head, fighting the spell woven between us.
“No.”
My lungs deflate, my shoulders sinking. Fuck.
“No? Why—”
“But I can.” Lifting on her tiptoes, she claims my mouth with hers in a powerful kiss more potent than any drug.
I glide a hand along her jaw and tangle my fingers at her nape, tugging slightly.
She moans, opening for me, and my tongue finds hers.
The world burns around us. Her flavor is unique. Sugar and spice. Like every bad decision I’ve ever made has led me right here.
“Who’s ready for—oops.”
We spring apart at the sound of Asher’s voice. A heartbeat later, half a dozen dogs burst into the room and crowd around us, breaking the tension in the air.
Holy shit. What was that?
That, my friend, is something we need to repeat. As soon as fucking possible.