Chapter 10 #2
"Three days ago, you didn't know our last names," Nova said, his thumbs stroking my cheekbones with heartbreaking gentleness, each touch sending shivers through my overheated system.
"You built your entire career on not needing what you're begging for right now.
Do you really want your first bonding bite to happen when you can't even remember what day it is? "
"Monday," I shot back, though the word came out uncertain, like I was guessing at a test question I should have known. "Or... Tuesday? Wednesday? It's... it's definitely a day that ends in 'y'."
"Sunday," Ghost corrected softly, and I wanted to scream at the gentleness in his voice, at the way he said it like he was talking to a lost child.
"The point is—" I started, but another wave of heat stole my words, making me arch against Nova with a whimper that had all five of them groaning in response. The sound of their combined distress made my omega keen with satisfaction even as the rest of me burned with need.
"The point is you're asking for forever while your body's drugged on hormones stronger than anything you can buy on the street," Blitz said, his usual cheerful energy strained to breaking, voice rough with barely controlled want.
"We want to give you everything you're asking for, Callie.
God, you have no idea how much. But not like this.
Not when you'll wake up and hate us for taking advantage. "
"Hate you now," I mumbled, though my fingers were tangling in Nova's shirt, pulling him closer even as I said it, my body betraying my words at every turn. "Hate all of you. Stupid noble Alphas with your stupid ethics."
"No, you don't," Milo said with that infuriating certainty, moving close enough that his honey-warm scent made my mouth water and my omega practically purr. "You're angry because we're not giving you what your omega wants. But we're giving you what Callie needs. Respect."
The word 'respect' when I was literally dripping for them, when every cell in my body screamed for their marks, when I could smell their arousal thick in the air, made me laugh.
Or maybe cry. The sounds were indistinguishable now, just noise escaping a throat raw from begging and whimpering and making sounds I'd never made in my life.
"This is exactly what they warn Omegas about," I said, words tumbling out without filter, years of conditioning and fear bleeding through the heat haze. "Alphas who say they know better, who make choices for us, who decide what we can and can't handle, who—"
"Who refuse to permanently alter your body without clear consent?
" Nova interrupted, and there was an edge to his voice now, his own control fraying at the seams. I could feel the tension in his muscles, could see the way his jaw clenched.
"Yes, how terribly patriarchal of us to respect your autonomy. "
Crash made a sound that might have been a laugh if it wasn't so strained, so desperate. "Boss's getting sassy. That's definitely new territory."
"Shut up," Nova and I said in unison, which made everyone freeze for a moment before Ghost's shoulders shook with what might have been silent laughter. It was the first truly relaxed movement I'd seen from any of them in hours.
The moment of levity helped, just a little.
Enough for me to process what they were actually saying beneath my omega's desperate interpretation.
They weren't rejecting me. They were protecting me.
From myself, maybe, from choices made in biological chaos, but still protecting me.
The realization made my chest tight with something that wasn't heat.
"When then?" I asked, my voice small and exhausted, worn thin from hours of fighting biology and losing. "When would you... when would it be okay? When do I get to choose?"
"When you can look us in the eyes without heat hormones clouding your judgment and say you want us forever," Nova said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"When your choice isn't driven by biological imperative but by actual desire to be ours.
When you know our middle names and our fears and what we're like when we're not trying to help you through heat. "
"And when you can tell us our middle names," Crash added with forced lightness, which earned him a half-hearted swat from Blitz and an actual glare from Nova.
I wanted to argue more, wanted to point out that maybe biological imperative was exactly how these things were supposed to work, but another wave was building deep in my core, this one promising to be overwhelming.
My body was done with words, done with complex emotional navigation.
It wanted simple things: touch, claiming, relief from the endless ache that had taken up residence in my bones.
"Hurts," I whimpered, curling into myself as the heat rolled through me like lava, making my skin feel like it was burning from the inside out. "Everything hurts without the bite. Like something's missing. Like I'm incomplete. Like there's supposed to be five more pieces of me and I only have one."
"We know," Ghost said, and when I looked at him through tears I didn't remember shedding, there were matching tears in his dark eyes.
"We feel it too. Like there's a Callie-shaped hole in our souls.
But feeling incomplete isn't enough reason to make permanent choices. Not when you might regret them."
"Isn't it?" I challenged, though the words came out slurred, my tongue too heavy and thoughts too scattered to form proper arguments. "People make permanent choices for worse reasons every day. Vegas weddings and tattoos of ex-boyfriends' names and..."
"We're not other people," Nova said firmly, his hands still gentle on my face despite the steel in his voice. "We're your pack. And we're going to do this right, even if it kills us. Even if watching you hurt kills us."
Looking at them all, really looking, I could see the visible strain in every muscle, the way their hands shook with the effort of not giving in to instinct.
The love written across their faces was almost unbearable to witness, raw and desperate and absolutely devoted.
Something in my chest cracked at the sight, not the omega's need for claiming, but something deeper.
Something that recognized what it cost them to refuse me, to prioritize my future self over my present desperation.
"Still hate you," I mumbled, but this time it sounded more like 'I love you' than accusation, the words soft and broken and honest.
"We know," Milo said softly, reaching for a weighted blanket and pulling it over my trembling form with movements gentle enough for spun glass.
"Hate us all you want. We'll still be here when the heat breaks.
Still be here when you're ready to choose us properly.
We're not going anywhere, Callie. Promise. "