Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
D inner was a quiet affair, it seemed she wasn’t the only one who was sad to see them go. “We’ll miss you,” Estelle said, ever the gracious host.
Robert nodded in agreement. “You’ve been instrumental in turning this place around.”
Lexi made the appropriate remarks, but barely tasted a thing. Once they’d finished eating, she set her knife and fork down and forced a smile. “That was delicious, Estelle. Thank you.”
Estelle beamed. “The salad and vegetables are all organic. Blessing’s husband grows them behind the lodge.”
“I’m impressed,” Hawk added. He sat beside her, as he had throughout dinner, but their conversation had been maddeningly polite. A comment about the food here, a remark about the project there—each word felt hollow, as though both of them were skirting the truth.
The end of the project loomed like a storm cloud on the horizon. Tomorrow, the United Nations peacekeepers would arrive to escort the three men to Kinshasa. From there, Hawk would fly back to the States, a world away from her. The thought made her chest ache, but she buried it beneath the mask of a polite smile.
Robert stood, raising his glass, and said a short speech. He thanked Hawk for his generosity, praised his leadership during the clinic rebuild, and spoke of how his contributions had been instrumental in restoring hope to the sanctuary.
Hawk responded with humility, his deep, steady voice carrying easily through the room. He talked about how his time here had been life-changing and how hard it was to leave, but duty called. As he said the words, his eyes flicked briefly to hers. Her heart constricted.
She knew he didn’t want to go, just as she didn’t want him to leave, but what could either of them do? His world was so far removed from hers, here in the jungle.
Lexi excused herself as Estelle began clearing the plates. “It’s really warm in here,” she murmured, avoiding Hawk’s gaze. “I think I’ll get some air.” Leaving the men to talk, she slipped out onto the deck.
The night air was cooler but did little to calm her swirling emotions. She leaned against the wooden railing and gazed out into the jungle. As always, it was alive with sound: crickets chirped in unison, frogs croaked, and leaves rustled softly in the breeze. The rainforest felt as restless as she was, the air thick with tension.
She heard the door creak open behind her and didn’t need to turn to know it was him. His presence was unmistakable, like an invisible gravitational pull.
“You okay, Nymph?” Hawk’s voice was low, filled with quiet concern.
She turned as he came to stand beside her. “You haven’t called me that for weeks.”
“I was trying to keep my distance.”
The dim light spilling from the lodge illuminated his features—the strong jaw, the shadow of stubble, the piercing intensity in his eyes. Her heart gave an involuntary lurch.
“I know,” she whispered.
“I tried to stay away, but it didn’t work. Then I thought we could be just friends, but that didn’t work either. It just made me want you more.”
Crap.
Tears pricked at her eyes. The knot of emotions inside her felt impossible to untangle. “I didn’t want to fall for you,” she whispered. “I tried hard not to, but you made it impossible.”
“I made it impossible. You’re blaming me?” His midnight blue eyes slanted in the lamplight.
“You saved me from the rebels, you financed a new clinic, you’re good with the animals. You didn’t leave when you had the chance. Dammit, Hawk, you helped us rebuild with your bare hands. How could I not fall for a guy like that?”
He gave a soft snort, then enveloped her in a hug. It was so sudden, so unexpected, that she melted into him. At the same time, it felt so right.
After the last few weeks of talking, sharing stories and growing closer, it didn’t feel weird at all when his long, tanned arms closed around her. “If I could stay, I would. You know that, right?”
“I know,” she murmured into his chest. He smelled so good, like the sea on a summer’s day. She inhaled, trying to dedicate it to memory.
He held her for a fraction longer, then released her. The look in his eyes made her breath catch. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Lexi. I just wish… I just wish we had more time.”
Her chest tightened, and she gulped over a lump in her throat. “Me too.”
The silence that followed was heavy, charged with something unspoken. Lexi’s pulse quickened as his gaze lingered on her face, his eyes tracing her features as though trying to memorize them. The air between them felt electric, and she knew she should step back, break the moment—but she couldn’t.
“Do you ever regret leaving him?” Hawk asked, his voice quieter now. “Charles, I mean. Was it … hard?”
Lexi blinked, caught off guard by the shift in the conversation. What on earth made him think of her ex? She looked down, brushing her fingers along the wooden railing. “No,” she said softly. “Not for a second. I regret how I did it, sure. But not leaving him.”
He nodded thoughtfully, then said, “I get that. Sometimes you just know it’s not right.”
“Have you ever been in that position?” she asked, turning the question back on him.
“Yeah,” Hawk admitted after a beat. “I was married once.”
Her head snapped up in surprise. “You were married?”
“For a couple of years, yeah.” He gave a wry smile. “It didn’t work out. I was still building my company back then, putting in crazy hours, flying all over the place. She wanted stability, and I couldn’t give it to her.”
“I’m sorry.” She hesitated, then added, “That must have been hard.”
“It was,” he said simply. “I thought I could make it work, but the truth is, we wanted different things. She wanted a partner who was home for dinner every night. I wanted to build something bigger than myself. In the end, I guess neither of us was willing to compromise.”
Lexi studied him, seeing a flicker of vulnerability beneath his confident exterior. It made her heart ache a little. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out. But it sounds like you learned from it.”
He nodded, his gaze steady on hers. “I did. And it taught me that being with the wrong person—no matter how much you want it to work—is worse than being alone.”
His words hit home, resonating with her own experience. She reached out without thinking, her fingers brushing his. “I think you’re right.”
The touch lingered, and something shifted in the air between them. Hawk’s gaze dropped to her lips, and her breath caught.
“You know …” he said, his voice rougher now, “I’m glad you didn’t marry him.”
“Me too,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
Something broke then, the tension that had been simmering for weeks finally boiling over. Hawk stepped closer, his hand sliding around her waist, pulling her against him. Her heart pounded as his other hand came up to cup her face, his thumb brushing lightly over her cheek.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmured, his voice thick with restraint. “If this isn’t what you want, tell me now.”
But she didn’t want him to stop. She couldn’t. Instead, she tilted her head, her lips parting slightly in silent invitation.
With a low groan, Hawk’s mouth crushed against hers. It wasn’t a gentle exploration, nor a hesitant beginning. No, this was raw, possessive, and laced with all the pent-up desire that had been simmering between them for weeks. He kissed her as if he were claiming her, as if he’d been holding himself back for far too long and couldn’t stand the restraint for another second.
Lexi gasped softly against his mouth, the sound swallowed by the sheer intensity of his lips moving against hers. Every rational thought flew from her head as she gripped his shoulders, feeling the strength of the muscle beneath his shirt, and then her hands moved higher, threading into the thick waves of his hair. He was warm and solid, and she wanted it to last forever.
Hawk tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and she felt a yearning so fierce it made her knees tremble. His other arm circled her waist, pulling her flush against him, her soft curves molding to the hard planes of his body. The heat of him seeped into her skin, leaving her dizzy and breathless. His tongue slid against hers in a slow, sensual dance that sent molten heat pooling low in her belly.
She couldn’t hold back the soft moan that escaped her, and it seemed to spur him on. His hand moved down her back, sliding to her hip, his fingers pressing firmly as if anchoring her to him. The world around them dissolved, the symphony of jungle sounds fading into a distant hum. All she could hear was the erratic thundering of her heart and the ragged pull of their breaths as they kissed with reckless abandon.
He tasted like coffee and something darkly addictive, and she couldn’t get enough. Her tongue moved against his with the same urgency, matching his fervor as if she, too, had been holding back for too long. Her body responded to his touch, arching toward him, craving more of the heat, the contact, the sheer electricity that sparked between them.
Hawk groaned low in his throat, the sound vibrating against her lips and sending shivers skittering down her spine. The primal edge in his voice only stoked the fire raging between them. His hand slid up from her hip, fingers splaying wide across her lower back as he pressed her even closer. She felt utterly surrounded by him, intoxicated by the strength of his arms and the heady, manly scent clinging to his skin.
His lips left hers, and she almost whimpered at the loss, but then his mouth was trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down the column of her neck. The scrape of his stubble against her skin was deliciously rough, sending goosebumps racing over her arms. Her breath hitched as he lingered at the sensitive spot just beneath her ear, his teeth grazing lightly before he soothed the spot with his tongue.
“Lexi,” he murmured against her skin, her name a reverent whisper that sent a rush of heat straight through her. His voice was husky, filled with raw need, and it only made her want him more.
“Yes,” she whispered, tilting her head back to give him better access, her fingers tightening in his hair. His lips returned to hers with renewed intensity, the kiss growing hotter, deeper, more desperate. Time seemed to stand still as they gave in to the storm of emotions and desire that had been building for so long. The kiss wasn’t just a release—it was an explosion, a culmination of everything unsaid, every heated glance, every near-touch that had gone unresolved between them.
Hawk’s hands slid down to her hips, gripping them firmly as he turned her around until the solid wood of the railing pressed against her spine. He caged her in, his body braced against hers, the heat of him wrapping around her like a cocoon. She clutched at his shirt, bunching the fabric in her fists in an attempt to pull him even closer.
Her heart pounded erratically, her blood roaring in her ears. She was drowning in him, in the taste of his lips, the feel of his hands, the roughness of his stubble, the sheer intensity of his presence. It was overwhelming, intoxicating, and she never wanted it to end.
But then, just as she was about to lose herself entirely, the lodge door creaked open behind them.
“Hawk? Lexi? Coffee’s ready!” Estelle’s voice rang out, cheerful and oblivious.
They broke apart, breathing heavily, their foreheads almost touching as they tried to collect themselves. Lexi’s hands dropped from his hair to his chest, her palms resting against the hard planes of muscle as she tried to steady her racing pulse. Hawk didn’t move away immediately, his hands still firmly on her hips, his thumb tracing slow, deliberate circles over the fabric of her dress.
His eyes locked with hers, and the heat in his gaze was enough to leave her breathless all over again. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, the air between them still crackling with sexual tension. Then, finally, Hawk gave a shaky laugh and murmured, “Saved by the coffee.”
Lexi managed a smile, though her lips still tingled from the force of his kiss. “We should …” She gestured vaguely toward the lodge, her voice unsteady.
“Yeah,” he agreed, though he didn’t release her right away. His gaze lingered on her face, his thumb brushing one last, tantalizing stroke over her hip before he finally stepped back.
He held out his hand, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Come on. Let’s not keep Estelle waiting.”
Lexi hesitated for half a second before slipping her hand into his. The simple touch sent a fresh wave of heat through her, and as he led her into the lodge, she couldn’t help but glance up at him. His hair was mussed, his lips slightly swollen, and his eyes still held that unmistakable fire.
Whatever had just happened between them, it was far from over.