CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Toro doesn’t return to the room until around noon. I know it’s noon because he comes bearing lunch for the both of us. My palms are sweaty as he sets down a plate for me, my hesitance obvious when I realize there’s a big fat burger awaiting me.
I gulp, and once he’s done scooting next to me on the bed he notices I haven’t even tried to grab the thing yet. He picks it up, holding the plate closer to my face. It smells good, but so did that awful pozole.
“It’s not… People, is it?” I don’t know a better way to ask that. I need the truth, I need him to be honest. He doesn’t turn away, doesn’t make a face. He just shakes his head. A simple answer. Still, I’m not sure. “You… you promise, right? It’s really not?”
An exhale that sounds like a laugh makes me ease up a bit. He sets his burger down and points both index fingers up, bringing them to his head to mimic what I assume to be a cow. He’s beaming while he does it, and I hate how happy his smile makes me.
“Cow,” I say.
Toro nods, and that’s that.
I take one bite, the teensiest little test bite.
It’s good, which sucks. The patty is juicy, topped with pickles and lettuce and everything else you’d want on a burger.
It’s real. It’s an actual meal, not a little bowl of salad or toast. I scarf it down without even sparing it a second thought.
I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until now.
When I look over at Toro I find that he’s just watching me. He doesn’t seem like he’s judging me, but I’m suddenly very aware of how gross that all probably was. Well, at least that’s what I think until he leans in to peck my cheek quickly.
He holds up his own burger as an offer, but I quickly shake my head even if my stomach is still rumbling. “It’s okay.”
Still, he waves the thing in front of my face. Clearly I’m not going to slip by without one little bite. That satisfies him, at least for now. Toro puts an arm around me, finishing up the rest of his burger in two bites.
We sit there in silence for a few minutes. I let my head fall on his shoulder, yawning quietly. He immediately perks up at that, looking down at me and kissing the top of my head a whole bunch. He likes those kinds of kisses a lot. Head, cheeks, shoulder—wherever he can get them.
“Hey, Toro?” I glance over at the closet, remembering what I had found. “What’s with the uh… seed packets? In the drawer, and in the closet.”
When he looks at me like I just asked him the most horrific question ever it quickly dawns on me that the answer might not be as simple as I expected it to be.
He tugs on my hand, fingers slotting together like pieces of a puzzle.
Toro leads me to the door of his bedroom, before turning to look at me.
Despite his size, he looks so small at the moment. I reach my free hand up to stroke his cheek, noting how his head sinks into my touch. That does the trick, and with a more confident grunt he leads me down the narrow halls of the Tavera house.
He takes me all the way outside, the sun shining down on us for only a second. Together we enter a side door to one of the many little buildings scattered about the property. It’s dark, not a window in sight. He pulls on the light and one lone little bulb illuminates the entire room.
It’s a shoddy wooden building, with a few shelves of gardening supplies and a table sat near the back. The table itself holds a few potted plants, all of which seem to have wilted and died a long time ago.
“Is this… yours?” I ask, stepping forward to take a closer look. His grip on my hand tightens, his body leaning over mine to look at all the plants. “You like to garden, Toro?”
When I glance over my shoulder I’m greeted with the most timid nod. He’s obviously aware none of the plants are alive, since he’s staring at the floor with the most dejected expression.
“It’s alright,” I try my best to comfort him even though I know the plants are definitely beyond saving. “Why don’t we plant one together? I’ll help you take care of it. Nadine, she uh… showed me a few things.”
Those eyes of his immediately come to life.
He nods excitedly, letting go of my hand to instead wrap me up into a hug from behind.
My feet leave the ground, the laughter that follows both happy and terrified.
When he sets me back down he begins prepping another pot, and I kind of just watch awkwardly for a minute.
“Do you not have enough time to take care of them?” I ask, the seed packet in his hands ripping open while he tries not to spill any. “Or do you not know how?”
Toro shrugs, pointing to the water pail on the floor as if that answers the question. “Toro… you know that plants need sunlight, right?”
He stiffens, but doesn’t answer me directly. Instead he lets out a drawn out hum, maybe a little embarrassed of the fact he was leaving his plants to die alone in this dark room.
Toro puts the packet in my hand, and the front says lantanas. I have no idea what kind of flowers these are, but the photo on the front is pretty. With reddish-pink outer petals and yellow inner ones, these could end up being really beautiful.
“Let’s try this,” I begin. “Grab the water, okay?”
I scoop up the pot in both hands, bringing it outside to rest by the door. Just enough sunlight, I hope. I dig a few little holes around the pot, and plant a few seeds. I honestly have no clue if this is right, but I think anything is better than what he was doing before.
Toro hands me the pail, and I sprinkle out some water on the newly planted little guys. Overwatering is a big thing, but we’re also out in the blazing Texas heat so maybe giving them a little extra won’t hurt.
“I’ll check them every day. So you don’t have to worry and can focus on your farmwork.” I drop the pail to the ground, glancing up at Toro. “Sounds good?”
He’s grinning from ear to ear, looking at me with that same adoring expression from before. His hands are immediately at my sides, lifting me up and pulling my chest against his. Our eyes meet briefly, and he looks down at my lips only for a moment.
He knows better. He doesn’t try it, instead opting to lean in and hug me.
It’s different. So soft and delicate and scary.
His heart is thudding against his ribcage, like my own personal drum.
When we pull apart he huffs, moving to hold me properly.
One arm sprawls across my back, the other wrapping around my shoulders.
Even with his fingers digging into my skin, the way he cuddles me is so calm. That’s probably why we both nearly drop dead when Mr. Tavera’s voice yells at us from the back door of the house.
“Boy!” He sounds pissed off. “Quit playin’ fuckin’ husband and wife and get in here! Your abuelo needs you!”
Before I can glance back at him I hear the door slam shut.
Toro sighs extra loud, the tiniest shred of fear in his eyes.
He cautiously drops me back to the ground, taking my hand and leading me back inside.
The entire family is crowded in the living room, with the eldest Tavera sitting in his rocking chair.
“Toro…” His voice is so hoarse it almost sounds like a croak. The tone he’s using is indistinguishable to me. I have absolutely no idea what he’s feeling. “C’mere, boy. We oughta’ have a talk.”