CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Leave ‘im alone,” Alma says, causing the entire room to look at her. Her arms are crossed over her chest, full lips pulled down in the biggest frown. “Why do y’all want to be against this so damn bad?”
Mr. Tavera rolls his eyes. “It ain’t natural, Alma. You know that. You’re a smart girl. Toro ain’t right in the head, and now he’s datin’ a boy?”
“I hate it when you talk like that, pa.” She groans, clearly trying to bite her tongue when it comes to her father. “None of us are right in the head. I mean… Come on. Why do ya draw the line at Toro bein’ happy?”
The air is so tense that you’d need more than a knife to cut it. Mr. Tavera sighs, looking down at the ground. “You always were like yer’ mother. Big heart and all. Maybe I just don’t get it.”
“I get it,” Damien chimes in. “Toro’s a fag and this little twink is takin’ advantage of him.”
It really pisses me off to hear him not only imply that I have the upper hand in this situation but to also hear him call his own brother that. Alma’s expression sours even further before she just stomps out of the room altogether.
“I’m not taking advantage of him,” my voice comes out as a low growl. “I like him. I really like him.”
Damien rolls his eyes. “I’m sure. Did you start likin’ him before or after you realized he wasn’t gonna kill ya if you gave him a lil’ kiss every now and then?”
“For fuck’s sake Damien, enough!” Mr. Tavera raises his voice in warning. “It is what it is. Nico’s here, and we gotta accept that. I don’t wanna piss off yer’ brother and have him try somethin’ stupid.”
“He’s been doin’ pretty good lately.” Lucio adds, although he doesn’t seem that interested in the conversation overall. “He works a helluva lot faster. Probably excited to get back and see his… whatever y’all are.”
Mr. Tavera just tilts his head a little, looking past me. We hear Toro before we see him, but when he comes down he gives me the tiniest little smile and scurries over to my side. He takes my hand, and when it seems like he’s gonna take me back to the bedroom a voice stops us.
“Toro, why don’t y’all eat dinner with us tonight?” Mr. Tavera calls. Both of us go still, exchanging nervous looks. We both turn, but my eyes are glued to the floor. “If Nico is going to be staying… he should get used to how we do things, huh?”
Toro’s grip tightens on my hand, the fabric of his shirt rustling when he nods. It’s not hard to see the way he shrinks whenever his dad is around. Makes me sick, to be honest.
“Attaboy,” Mr. Tavera puts a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t y’all go set the table? I’m sure dinner’ll be ready soon enough.”
There’s no response. I’m almost too afraid to look up at him, but when he addresses me directly I don’t really have a choice. “Huh? Nico? That sound good?”
With a gulp I force myself to look up at him, smiling nervously. “Y-Yes. That sounds fine, thank you.”
“Perfect,” the smile he gives me is far from genuine. It reminds me of the one he gave us all when we first got here. “Don’t forget to wash up.”
He turns and leaves, Damien and Lucio following behind him. The worry on my face must’ve been evident because the second Toro catches wind of it he pulls me into a hug. I instantly melt into him, letting my face rest against his chest.
His fingers find their way to my hair, playing with my locks gently. Toro’s free hand pushes me back, looking down at me warmly. His expression seems calmer than usual, his honey eyes studying me.
They linger on my lips, before trailing up to meet my chocolate ones. His laughter is hoarse, and doesn’t last long. He purses his lips for a moment, before his mouth opens slowly. At first nothing comes out. It’s almost as though it hurts him to try.
“Nic…” Toro’s deep voice is like the creak of the front door. He swallows hard after it comes out, lower lip quivering. I wonder how long it’s been since he’s tried to speak? How long since an actual word has left his mouth? He hesitates, but keeps going. He brings his hand to my chest, “...Nico.”
It’s almost hard to process at first. He’s speaking—to me. I’ve been here for a while and this is the first time he’s actually said anything for who knows how long? My lips part slightly, just staring at him. The lack of response makes him whine, and he seems uncertain.
“Yeah…!” I exhale, raising my hand to rest flat on where his heart would be, smiling ear to ear. “Y-Yeah, Tor!” I should say more. I should do more. But I’m just so shocked in the best way possible. My head moves on its own, heels leaving the ground as I plant a kiss under his chin.
“Nico…” My name leaves his mouth again, like he’s testing out the word.
It sends an exciting jolt down my spine to hear him say something.
His grin is massive, eyes glimmering with a newfound spark.
He moves to wrap his arms around me properly, pulling my body nice and close to his.
One kiss on my forehead. Two kisses on my forehead. A lot of kisses on my forehead.
I giggle, nose crinkling while my hands weakly try to push him away. He exhales at me, letting his nose rub across my cheek. Part of me wants to ask him to say it again, just so I get to hear it once more. The quiet little bellow of my name made my heart flutter. It’s dangerous.
He’s dangerous, and not in the way everyone keeps telling me he is.
Not when he’s wearing that stupid smile, fingers digging into my flesh subtly.
Toro always holds me like he doesn’t want to ever let go, but this time I think I share the sentiment.
He clears his throat, bringing a hand up to rub at it tenderly.
“Hey,” I whisper. “Don’t try to talk more if it hurts. I… I don’t know how long it’s been, but… I’m really proud of you, Toro.”
Maybe it’s cheesy, or maybe it’s lame. But I am proud of him. I would’ve been fine if he never spoke to me, but the fact he’s trying says more than any words ever could anyway.
He doesn’t say anything at first, looking at me with big eyes.
Suddenly he pulls me into a proper kiss.
His mouth crashes against mine, one big hand bringing itself to gently grab at my cheek…
and then the other hand holding on to the other side of my face.
With both hands keeping my head in place, he kisses me with all the grace and poise of a bull in a china shop.
Toro’s excitement quickly gets the better of him, and he acts like he’s trying to suck my tongue out of my mouth.
I laugh a little, pulling back just a bit while ignoring the fact he was two seconds away from drooling all over my face.
His thick muscle tries to shove itself down my throat, so I have no choice but to pull away and gasp for air.
“T-Toro,” I groan. “You’re… Let me show you, okay? ”
He smiles at me, head shaking up and down eagerly.
My attention is on his hands, which are still firmly planted on my face.
He gets the hint and lets them drop to his sides, although it’s clear he doesn’t know where to put them now.
I chuckle and guide them to my shoulders, leaning in to peck his forehead.
“Just follow my lead.” With that I bring my face close, lips ghosting his before I internally say ‘fuck it’ and kiss him again. This is my first time kissing anyone, but he doesn’t know that. He goes limp when we connect again, but immediately tightens when I snake my tongue into his mouth.
Toro lets out a thin breath, letting me take the lead.
It’s weird, since I usually hate being the one in charge, but I’m into it right now.
With my arms around his neck I push against him.
His hands swiftly jump from my shoulders to my butt, hoisting me up onto his lap while we kiss.
The way his tongue tries to battle against mine is so adorably clumsy.
When I finally have to pull back again to catch my breath I almost feel disappointed. We fall onto the couch like that, with Toro whimpering before practically lunging in to try and kiss some more. I have to pull back though, a weak laugh leaving me.
“Hold on, Tor. I just need a minute.” I explain, breathing a little heavier than I’d like. This feeling is scary. Being wanted in some capacity… I’m not used to it.
Toro’s eyes widen while I speak, his gaze transfixed on me. At first I don’t get it, but the nickname that slipped out begins replaying in my mind. He whines at me, squirming but trying to keep himself at bay.
He really wants to kiss me, and god, I really want to kiss him too.
Toro’s fingers sink into my flesh, growing more and more antsy with each passing moment.
He’s trying. I know that he’s really trying, despite the fact he’s looking at me like a fresh piece of meat.
He’s just sitting—waiting—waiting for me to be ready.
With a shy little look I push myself back up, we’re face to face again. He’s smiling, and he looks adorable. So adorable that of course I just go for it and let our lips crash together with everything I’ve got, noting the way his breathing heavies and his grip softens.
Despite how clumsy and unsure he is, he’s doing a good job. Our foreheads are pressed together, my hands moving to gently hold on to his hair. His curls are thick and untamed, but I don’t care. I just don’t. I want him. I want this. He groans, head swinging back to compose himself briefly.
He doesn’t give me time to react before he’s going in again, kissing at my neck and nipping at sensitive skin. My cheeks grow extremely hot as his teeth graze my skin before each delicate kiss. I’m panting like an animal, and I don’t know where to put my hands.
“Toro…” I whine, although he doesn’t stop. His mouth latches on to my neck, the pressure that follows an entirely new sensation. It’s gone as quickly as it comes, sending a jolt of excitement through me. He leaves a few more marks on my neck, before meeting my gaze again with a new expression.
He looks drunk off of affection, drunk off of me. The noise he utters is hard to decipher, but I think it’s good. He’s happy, as evident by the way he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in to snuggle.
We’re laying in a heap now, his leg slotting itself between my thighs. I giggle, letting our actions do the talking. Forehead to forehead and face to face, I reach to grab his hand again. I bring it up, kissing each of his knuckles tenderly.
If I could, I’d freeze time. Just to be stuck in this moment with him. Away from the murder. Away from his family. Away from all of it. Just him and me somewhere in spacetime, with nothing but these… feelings.
These tricky, tricky feelings.