CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Toro is sleeping. On top of me, of course. He’s pressed flush against me, snoring surprisingly quietly. Our legs are slotted together, one broad arm strung over me while the other rests on my forearm. His face is pure contentment with the cutest grin.
I don’t know when my thoughts became so mushy, but it doesn’t even matter. Not right now. Not when he’s everything I ever wanted sprawled on top of me like the world’s heaviest weighted blanket.
The radio is long turned off, the sun already set and casting the darkest shadow over this dreary little farm.
By all means this should be terrifying. This place should be terrifying.
But I don’t think it is, not anymore. I still hate the Texas heat, though.
I doubt that’s gonna change anytime soon.
Toro grumbles in his sleep, flipping over so he’s on his back right next to me. The mattress creaks with the motion, sinking beneath him. My eyes flicker over to the rest of the room. The shut door. The half-open half-closed closet.
The open window.
The open window.
Without hesitating I’m up on my feet, heart pounding against my ribcage and filling my ears.
It would be so easy. Too easy. Too easy to run until my legs gave out.
Toro wouldn’t find me in the dark. He wouldn’t expect it.
He couldn’t expect it, not after everything that’s happened.
He’d probably chase me down until his body forced him to stop.
I’d be leaving behind a crying mess of a man with a broken heart.
Just the thought of it kills me. The thought of him being a wreck on the side of the road. The thought of me being the person who broke him… I don’t want to do that to him. I can’t do that to him.
I grab the ledge, and quietly pull the stupid thing down. The window is shut, the soft rustling of winds outside no more. I whip around when I hear a squeak back from the bed, where Toro is sitting up now.
His hands are in his lap and he’s nervously toying with the ends of his fingers while staring at me. He must’ve seen the whole thing, it’s too dark for me to make out his expression. I find my way back to the bed, curling up in his lap.
Toro is trembling, no doubt watching me the entire time. He was probably on the edge of his seat watching me and waiting. Waiting to see what I’d do—waiting to see if I’d break his heart.
A whine tears from his throat. It’s so raw, so visceral, that even without words I know that he’s just beside himself right now. I give his jaw a few pecks, letting my fingers sit just to the side of his chin.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper. “Promise.”
He hugs me tighter than ever before, letting out a heavy sigh into my shoulder. I swear I hear him sniffle before he pulls away, reaching over me to pull open his bedside drawer and rummage through it for a moment. He pulls something out, but I can’t tell what it is until he turns the lamp on.
There’s a faded photo between his fingers, and he holds it out to me.
At first I don’t really know what I’m looking at since it’s just a photo of Mrs. Tavera and baby Toro.
It’s cute, for sure, and I like the little smile he has on.
He flips it over, revealing some hastily scribbled writing on the back.
My beloved Isadora and baby Isandro.
I don’t know what to make of it at first, brows pinching together while I glance back up at him. We blink at each other, before the realization settles in. It’s his name. His actual name. He’s not just Toro. He’s Isandro.
“You… Isandro,” his name feels so strange coming out of my mouth. I never even considered for a second that Toro—bull—wasn’t his actual name. “H-Hi, Isandro. I’m Nico.”
He rolls his wet eyes at how cheesy that was, before setting the photo back in the drawer and pressing me down against the bed. One hand keeps my wrists above my head, the other rubbing against my cheek.
“Nico.” He bellows, leaning in to kiss my neck. “Nico…”
I only squirm a little bit, giggling softly when his tongue lolls out of his mouth to lick a stripe right up my jugular. His breath is hot as it wafts against the damp skin, his gaze transfixed on me. “Toro, er—Isandro, stop!” I pause for a second. “Which… Which one do you want me to call you?”
Toro freezes, head darting up with an inquisitive look on his face. “...Toro.” He sounds unsure, eyes shifting down to my chest.
“You’re sure?”
An affirmative grunt.
“Then why’d you share it with me?” I can’t stop myself from asking. I don’t understand it, but I want to. I want to understand everything about him. It’s just hard when he doesn’t really talk.
He pauses, just looking up at me with the smallest expression. Did I upset him? Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed about his mother so soon. I got too curious too fast. My mind races with all these horrible thoughts that I don’t even notice him pushing himself up until his lips are on mine again.
“...Love,” he whispers before kissing me again. It does the trick at shutting me up, because I’m way too focused on his tongue sliding right past my lips like it owns the damn place.
I pant when we’re done, Toro returning to his initial spot of resting on my chest like he didn’t just try and suffocate me with his mouth. But my heart flutters at what he said. Love. He said love. “I love you too, Toro.”
Toro looks at me through thick eyelashes, smiling ear to ear.
He doesn’t have to say anything. He doesn’t have to do anything, either.
We’re both more than content to stay like this, my hand moving up to stroke the back of his head as he settles in to fall asleep on my chest again.
With a yawn I let my head fall back, staring up at the ceiling.
No matter what happens, I think things will be okay. Everything happens for a reason. I’ve always believed in that, I just never thought anything would happen to me for a reason. But coming here and meeting Toro… There has to be a reason for that.
Maybe we need each other. He needed someone to love him and I needed somebody to love.
It’s simple, but it might just be the truth.
Because being together like this just feels right, like nothing could tear us away from each other.
At least that’s what I think, until a loud pounding on the window jolts us both awake.
I peer over, just in time to see something—someone—I never thought I’d see again.
Nadine.