Chapter Three
C arrigan sat in the library, trying to recapture the feeling of peace she’d once been able to have here.
It was no use. Everywhere she looked, she saw evidence of her father and a reminder of her deadline ticking down.
He’d given her a list of eligible men—a list that was apparently smaller than it had been a year ago.
Like it was a shopping list that she just had to go down and choose one to spend the rest of her life with—to put her safety and future in the hands of. It made her sick.
She ran her hand over the soft fabric of the couch.
Once upon a time, this place was her sanctuary.
She used to lie here and stare at the ceiling and dream about what she wanted to do when she grew up.
Back then, it had ranged from a lawyer to a fashion designer to—she snorted to think about it—a marine biologist. And now?
What would she do if she hadn’t been born a daughter in the O’ Malley family?
She traced the pattern with a single finger.
It was tempting—far too tempting—to indulge in the fantasy.
Here, in this room, she could almost believe being a publicist was actually an option.
It was a career that she could have used to the benefit of her family, if only her father would see her as something more than a set of ovaries.
With a bachelor’s degree in communications and journalism, she easily could have let the O’Malleys slip into the spotlight a little—just enough to entice the media and everyone who watched it. They could manipulate public opinion and gain more power and influence as a result.
But her father wouldn’t even discuss it with her. As far as he was concerned, she had her place, and it was her duty as a daughter to stay in it.
The door opened and she tensed, ready to smile and make some excuse to leave.
Company wasn’t high on her list of things she wanted at the moment—hell, it wasn’t on the list at all.
But when Teague appeared in the doorway, she had to bite her lip to keep from throwing herself at him.
She held herself perfectly still, but sheer relief at the sight of him made her giddy.
Even though she knew he couldn’t actually do anything to help her, his presence was a comfort she didn’t know she needed until he was here in the room with her. “Teague.”
“Hey.” He closed the door behind him and crossed to sit next to her. “How was Connecticut?”
“It’s good to be back.” Even if it meant that she didn’t have a choice anymore about the direction her life was going.
His dark eyes, so similar to their father’s, searched her face. “Is it?”
Words and worries and fears welled up inside her, desperate to be put to voice. She couldn’t, though. If she started talking, it would be too slippery a slope into something as dangerous as tears. Carrigan refused to cry. Refused . “You know how this goes. Choice doesn’t come into it.”
His mouth tightened. “Carrigan—”
If she let him, he’d offer her a shoulder to lean on…
and she’d never be able to stand on her own.
Teague had always been too willing to act as shield to her and their sisters.
It was a crying shame that he couldn’t save her from her inevitable future.
“How was the honeymoon?” As soon as her brother had been released from the hospital, he and Callie disappeared for a few weeks to somewhere in the Caribbean.
“We’re not talking about me.” He gave her a half smile. “But it was wonderful.”
“Good.” Even if her life was falling apart around her, at least one of her siblings was genuinely happy. She leaned back. “Did you come to offer me congratulations? Father has me set to be engaged before the end of the year.”
His expression grew thunderous. “That’s less than a month.”
“Well, you know I’m twenty-eight. My value is only diminishing with time.
And let’s not even talk about my eggs.” The flippant comment struck something deep inside her.
She wasn’t sure she even wanted children, but if she ever decided that she did, she didn’t want to bring them into a world where their sole purpose was to be pawns in a game not of their choosing.
Like she was.
Like all her siblings were.
Teague sighed and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Say the word and we’ll fight him over it.
We’ll get you and the girls out of here.
” We being him and his new wife, Callie.
“You can be free. Make your own choices. This isn’t all there is to life.
He isn’t God, no matter what our father likes to think. ”
The worst part was Carrigan knew he meant it.
He’d ship her and the others off and willingly take the heat.
And, good lord, there’d be heat. Their father wouldn’t take the loss of prime marriage material lying down.
He might be pleased that Teague consented to marry the Sheridan heir—even if no one was happy that they snuck off to the courthouse without telling anyone—but that wouldn’t mean he’d so much as pause before he razed them and their territory to the ground for crossing him.
She couldn’t let him take the risk. Not for her.
“You know what happens if you do that, Teague. You and Callie end up dead, and he hunts us down, drags us back, and then I marry some man on his list anyway.”
His smile was bitter. “You don’t have much faith in me.”
“I have all the faith in the world in you. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you take the fall for me.
I make my own choices.” Between death by marriage and death by convent.
Not much of a choice when she looked at it like that—especially since it looked like her father was no longer willing to consider the convent as a choice—but she wasn’t about to let someone else fight for her.
Not when she knew they’d lose.
She’d already lost too much to power games and war. They all had. She wasn’t willing to lose anyone else. “Promise me, Teague. Promise that you won’t do anything to piss him off.”
“Carrigan…” Teague sighed. “What can I do? If I can’t get you out of here, and I can’t save you from this, what the fuck can I do?”
There was nothing to do, but if she told him that, it would crush him.
The only thing Teague had wanted more than getting out of this life was to get her and their other sisters out as well.
That he hadn’t been able to do either killed him.
Seeing her walk down the aisle, delivered to a man he knew she didn’t love, would deal a wound that would fester over the years.
He knew she wouldn’t have chosen this path for herself.
He knew she wanted out as much as he did.
And she knew the cost was too high to risk their father’s wrath.
“The same thing you’ve always done. Be there for me.” She dropped her head onto his shoulder. He was as solid as a rock. He always had been. The contact centered her, and it must have done the same thing for him, too, since he relaxed a little.
“That seems like a cowardly choice.”
There had to be some way she could get through to him.
“ My choice, Teague. Please don’t take it away from me.
I’ve already had that happen one too many times.
” A low blow, but Carrigan wasn’t above hitting him where it hurt in order to keep him safe.
He had a chance at happiness. She might be a selfish bitch, but even she wasn’t selfish enough to take that away from him.
He hissed out a breath, the barb striking true. “Damn it.”
Needing to change the subject and put them back on more familiar—and safe—ground, she said, “How goes the wedding planning?” Both their parents and Callie’s father refused to acknowledge that their marriage was legitimate until they did things “right.” Carrigan found it darkly amusing that there was no end to the sins her father could commit and still sleep at night, but seeing one of his children married without an actual wedding was one he couldn’t live with.
But then, she’d always known he had skewed priorities—and that wasn’t even getting into their mother.
She took their courthouse marriage as a personal insult, and as a result she was determined to plan the largest and most extravagant affair she could to make up for it.
For her part, Carrigan was just happy the wedding planning kept her mother’s attention elsewhere. The last thing she needed was her other parent meddling alongside her father’s determination to match her up with someone on his list.
This time Teague’s sigh was less agitated. “For all her protests, Callie’s taken the whole thing well in hand. She’s gone head-to-head with our mother a few times, from what I understand, and come out on top at least half the time.”
“Half? Impressive.” She was surprised their mother had conceded anything let alone multiple anythings.
But then, she already knew Callie was something else.
The woman had held herself together in the face of certain death and managed to work with Carrigan to get them both to safety.
If there was going to be someone to put Aileen O’Malley in her place, it would be Callie Sheridan.
She smiled at the thought. “I like her.”
“I like her, too.” Teague grinned, some of his worry melting away. Love did shit like that.
Carrigan stamped down on the envy threatening to take root. Teague was lucky, and she didn’t begrudge him that, though part of her wished she’d be able to find the same connection with someone. She knew better. If she agreed to marry one of the men on her father’s list, it wouldn’t be a love match.
“Do you think…” He hesitated. “Do you know which way you’re going?”