Chapter Twenty-Two
C arrigan woke up the next morning feeling like she’d been run over by a truck.
Her life hadn’t been picture-perfect to begin with, but it’d sure as hell gone downhill faster than she could have imagined.
She touched her face, still feeling puffy and raw from her crying jag last night.
She hadn’t meant to break down, let alone in front of Sloan, but once she’d started, she hadn’t been able to stop.
She’d seen the look on her sister’s face, though, when she’d finally gotten control of herself.
Sloan sided with Aiden and Cillian. She thought Carrigan was a monster for sleeping with James, let alone being stupid enough to fall for him.
I told her I love him .
She shouldn’t have let the damning words past her lips, but if there was one person who wouldn’t pass it on, it was Sloan.
Carrigan rolled over and stared at her ceiling.
The temptation to pull the covers over her head and sleep the day away was almost too much to pass up.
But then she’d have to admit to hiding in her room to avoid seeing her brother or father or any other member of her family who’d get in her face and call her a traitor at the first available opportunity. Which would mean she was afraid.
No help for it. She had to get out of bed.
She padded to her bathroom and took a leisurely shower, telling herself all the while that she wasn’t actually stalling. After styling her hair and putting on her war paint, there was nothing left to do but go downstairs and face the firing squad. Could I be any more melodramatic?
Probably. Anything to keep from thinking about last night.
James told her he loved her. He really loves me .
She stared at her reflection, the image blurring to replace the tortured look on his face when he’d confessed what his father had done to him.
Abuse was too kind a term—and death was too kind a penalty for it.
She clenched her hands, her nails digging into her palms as fury washed over her in waves.
She’d already believed Victor Halloran deserved to die after this summer.
Knowing what she did now? She hoped that he suffered horribly before he went.
If there was any way she could arrange for that to happen, she wouldn’t hesitate to do it.
James couldn’t be her priority anymore—at least not as far as anyone else was concerned.
She had to put on an obedient expression and jump through all the hoops set out before her to keep him safe.
That was the only thing that mattered. As much as she’d wanted to take him up on the offer blazing from his eyes last night and say that their enemies could go fuck themselves, she knew the truth.
They might have a few days, maybe even a few months, but the debt would come due at some point and then James would die.
She’d be lucky if she went with him, but Carrigan didn’t like her chances.
Either way, it was a lose-lose scenario. The only way she was going to get through the next however many years of her life and marriage to Dmitri was knowing that James still walked this earth. She’d suffer untold horrors to make sure that happened.
Taking a fortifying breath, she walked out of her room and down the main staircase. The house was oddly hushed, making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. She caught sight of Aiden coming out of the library. “I did what you wanted.”
He didn’t look up from the papers in his hands. “It has nothing to do with what I want and everything to do with what’s necessary.”
Necessary. She hated that word. It ranked right up there with loyalty and obedience and family .
“Whatever. Dmitri agreed.” She just had to hope that her last desperate night of freedom wasn’t enough to drive him over the edge.
She never should have taken that chance, but it was too late to worry about it now.
Really, she didn’t want to take back those hours with James, talking with him, losing herself at the feel of what he was doing to her.
She just wished she could have fallen asleep listening to the steady sound of his breathing.
Let it go. It will never happen again. You can’t let it.
She wouldn’t. She’d had a moment of weakness, but it was enough to shore her up for the foreseeable future.
It had to be. She fell into step with Aiden down the hall, her stomach rumbling.
She’d barely let the idea of breakfast cross her mind, when the door to her father’s study slammed open.
He marched into the hallway and glared at her. “You.”
Aiden tensed next to her. “Father—”
“Not now. You don’t know what your sister has done.” His gaze flicked over her brother. “Unless you already do know, in which case we’ll be having a discussion about loyalty in the near future.” He pointed at Carrigan. “In my office. Now.”
She followed him because there was no other option, and nearly tripped over her feet when she saw who occupied one of the chairs in front of the desk. Dmitri . “What are you doing here?”
“Protecting my investment.” His face gave nothing away. No anger. No worry. Nothing.
“Sit down.”
She sank into the open seat, her heart in her throat. There was only one thing that could bring Dmitri here and put that look on her father’s face. He knows . “Father—”
“I highly suggest you keep your damn mouth shut before you do more damage.” He straightened already perfectly straight papers. “Did you or did you not spend the night with Halloran?”
They did know. She swallowed hard. “I can explain.”
“I don’t need your explanation. Answer the question.”
She dropped her gaze. “Yes, I did.”
The study was so silent, her father’s sigh sounded like a bellow.
“In that case, I would like to formally apologize, Dmitri. I had no idea the trouble she was getting into. I completely understand if you’re no longer interested in the marriage pact on the table, but I’d hope that this won’t color our dealings going forward.
” He paused. “Though I do have two more daughters.”
Sloan or Keira married to this shark? Never . Carrigan raised her head. “That’s not necessary.”
“What did I say?” He was so furious that she actually feared he might strike her this time.
“It’s perfectly all right, Seamus,” Dmitri cut in smoothly. “I fully intend to marry Carrigan, and the night’s events haven’t changed those plans.”
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified. Carrigan sat perfectly still, a small, fuzzy animal sensing a predator, knowing an attack was coming but not being able to see what direction it’d be from. She kept silent because what she thought didn’t matter to either man in the room.
Her father raised his eyebrows. “If you’re sure.”
“I am. I find myself quite enamored with your oldest daughter. So much so, I’d like to take her back to New York for the time being until we can finalize wedding arrangements with your wife.
I’m sure she’d like the opportunity to plan it at her leisure instead of with a time constraint like the most recent one. ”
Panic had black spots dancing across her vision. Leave Boston? Now? She’d thought she’d have more time. “Father, please.”
He ignored her. “That would suit perfectly. Carrigan has proven herself a poor judge of character, and removing her from further temptations is wise.”
Like she was a naughty child being sent to timeout.
Or, worse, an invalid incapable of thinking for herself.
She opened her mouth but couldn’t make words come out.
The feeling of her life spinning out of control around her only got worse as Dmitri stood and shook her father’s hand as if conducting a business deal.
Which is exactly what he was doing.
He turned. “It’s time, Carrigan.”
It took her entirely too long to understand what the hell he meant. “You want me to come with you now ?” She shot a panicked look at her father, but he was no help. “But I need to say good-bye to Sloan and Keira and—”
“That’s what a phone is for.” Her father’s expression didn’t so much as twitch. “If you’re going to be difficult, I’ll have Mark come in here and carry you out over his shoulder. Why don’t you save us all the indignity of throwing a tantrum and act like an adult?”
He’d just sold her to further his business arrangements, and he wanted her to act like an adult .
Only the knowledge that he’d follow through on his threat without batting an eye had her finding her spine and shooting to her feet.
“Then, by all means, let’s not make a scene.
” Neither man flinched at the venom in her voice.
“Wonderful.”
She ignored Dmitri’s offered elbow and strode out of the room, nearly hitting Aiden with the door as she came out. “I hope you’re happy, big brother.”
His green eyes went wide before he schooled his expression. “What’s going on?”
“Father’s handed me off to Dmitri. So I won’t be your problem anymore.
” She ignored the way he flinched and strode for the front door.
She wasn’t surprised when Dmitri met her stride for stride without seeming to hurry.
She glared. “I expect you to send men over to collect my things before you cart me off to New York.”
“I’ll see it done.”
He was so… unflappable. Stone cold. It made her want to poke at him, but instinct said he’d respond in a way she wouldn’t like, so she didn’t.
Instead, she followed him out to his car and into the backseat.
He closed the door, sealing her into the silence of the limo.
She started to shake and wrapped her arms around herself to cover up the involuntary movements.
Oh God, what am I going to do?
* * *