Chapter Twenty-One
Lane
“Finally, some fucking sunshine.” I stared out the window at the crisp blue sky, which was making an appearance for the first time all week.
“It’s your fault it rained,” Oliver said teasingly. “You said we should have a barbecue this weekend.”
“If it was my fault, it’d still be raining now.”
“It still might.”
“Don’t fucking say that,” I said, turning away from the window and gesturing at the sunshine. “Now it’s going to fucking piss it down all afternoon.”
“And you said I’m the dramatic one.” Oliver laughed. He stood at the kitchen counter slicing tomatoes and mozzarella for a salad. I leant over his shoulder and stole a piece of the soft cheese, popping it into my mouth while Oliver stared at me in disbelief.
“What?”
“That’s for later,” he said, pointing at the round dish on the counter next to him with the end of the knife.
“Food tax.” I shrugged. “Or taste test. Gotta make sure it isn’t poisoned.”
“Is it?” Oliver raised an eyebrow. He was trying to be serious, but it wasn’t working. He was too fucking cute to be serious.
“Don’t know. I need to try again.” I swiped another piece and ripped it in half.
I ate one bit and offered the other to Oliver.
His lips grazed against my fingers as he took it, sending a spark across my skin.
I didn’t know why that was sexy, but apparently it was.
Or maybe my whole body was now destined to find anything Oliver did sexy.
Chopping tomatoes? Sexy.
Loading the dishwasher? Sexy.
Spreading all his shit across my tiny table while he was working? Sexy. Especially when he was concentrating and his tongue poked out the corner of his mouth.
Folding his clean washing and putting it in the spare drawer I’d given him so he didn’t have to live out of a suitcase? Sexy.
Lying in my bed completely naked? Really fucking sexy.
I wished I could take him back there now. We’d spent the morning lazing around under the sheets, making out and frotting against each other until we were sweaty and spent, and I’d happily spend the afternoon there as well.
Except we’d invited everyone around for a barbecue, and since none of my friends were going to turn down the opportunity for free food, that meant we had to spend time prepping everything and cleaning.
Oliver had gone all out on the food, even going as far as making homemade garlic, rosemary, and cheese tear-and-share bread, which was currently having its second proof under a tea towel on the kitchen table. It smelt fucking divine, and I couldn’t wait to be able to rip chunks off and devour them.
Fresh bread was one of life’s simple pleasures, but one I didn’t get often enough. Perhaps it was time to invest in a bread maker, even if I knew it was more likely to spend time gathering dust in the corner of my kitchen than being used.
“You know,” Oliver said, tearing his eyes away from mine and going back to his pile of tomatoes. “You could make yourself useful instead of stealing mozzarella.”
“Your wish is my command,” I said with a playful bow and another kiss. “What can I do to help?”
“Can you slice those blocks of halloumi for me please?” he asked. “If there’s not room for them on the barbecue, I can just do them under the grill in here.”
“It’ll be fine. We’ll make it work.” I grabbed a spare chopping board and a knife before unwrapping the blocks of cheese and cutting them into thick slices. “Do you remember the first time you gave me halloumi?”
“Yeah, I do,” Oliver said fondly. “You kept trying to steal bits of mine.”
“It was so good! I’d never had it before.
” I’d been thirteen when Oliver had introduced me to the squeaky, Cypriot cheese after his mum had taken him there on holiday over the Easter holidays.
He’d come back raving about it, and insisted Kara get some next time I went round to his for tea.
I’d been a bit suspicious at first, but one bite of the crispy, creamy grilled cheese had converted me.
Ever since then, it had been something I’d always stuck on a barbecue because it went down a treat. These days, I always got double the amount I thought I’d need, and there was still never any left.
“Do you remember the time you, me, Alex, and Noah took one of those disposable foil barbecues down to Riddle Cove?” Oliver asked, and I chuckled at the memory.
“Hey, that could’ve been a lot fucking worse than it was. None of us got food poisoning.”
“Which was a miracle in hindsight.”
“That’s why we chargrilled everything to a fucking crisp,” I said. “I can still taste burnt sausages when I think about it.”
“I’m not sure the food poisoning would have been any worse.”
“At least burnt sausages don’t make you chuck your guts up.”
Oliver laughed, putting his knife down and starting to arrange slices of tomato and mozzarella in the dish, adding fresh basil on the top. “I suppose. We should go back there at some point. I haven’t been in years.”
“That’s a fucking travesty,” I said, shooting him a wry smile. “We can take the van one evening when it’s low tide. Go and chill for a bit.”
“Just chill?”
I put the knife down and turned to him, stepping closer so I could wrap my arms around his waist. “Why? Did you want to re-enact some of our teenage exploits?”
“Maybe,” Oliver said. “What’s the back of your van like?”
“I mean, if you want to fuck in the van, I’m going to get fucking blankets or something,” I said with a laugh. “Not like the last few times.”
“God no. I’m not letting you get a nail in your foot again. That was awkward as fuck.”
“And you didn’t even have to explain it to my dad.” I winced. That would forever live in my memory as one of the most awkward and cringeworthy moments of my life. Almost worse than Sparrow standing on my dick.
Oliver and I had taken Dad’s van down to Riddle Cove for the evening, and because we were seventeen and always horny, we’d done our usual thing of hopping in the back to fool around.
It hadn’t been long after we’d started having sex, and I’d insisted on taking my jeans off instead of just pulling them down, which meant my trainers had come off too.
Then halfway through us fucking, I’d stood on a loose nail and embedded it in my foot.
And since Oliver couldn’t drive the van, I’d had to get my dad to come and rescue us.
At least I’d just about managed to get my boxers and jeans back on, but my dad wasn’t stupid. He’d known exactly what we’d been doing.
It was why the next time I’d taken the van out to meet Oliver, I’d found a box of condoms and a first aid kit on the front seat, complete with a note that read Keep your bloody shoes on.
The whole thing still made me cringe, but in hindsight I realised just how relaxed my dad had been about our relationship.
“No, but I did have to explain it to my mum. Sort of, anyway. I told her you’d been sorting something in the back that had come loose, and it had gone through your shoe, but I don’t think she believed me.”
“I can guarantee you she didn’t,” I said. “And I’m pretty sure my dad would’ve told her what happened.” I leant down and brushed my lips against Oliver’s. I wondered when my need to kiss him every second of every day would wear off. Maybe it wouldn’t.
Oliver’s hands wrapped around me as we lost ourselves in an endless stream of kisses that made my lips burn.
The sharp sound of the doorbell ended our revelry. I sighed as we broke apart. “Why did we invite people round again?”
“I don’t know,” Oliver said. “This was your idea. It’ll be fun, though.”
“Sex would be more fun,” I said grumpily, giving him one last kiss before going to see which of my bunch of reprobate friends had arrived first.
I stuck my head through the living room door as I walked past to find Sparrow lying in a patch of sun in front of the window, oblivious to everything else.
Once upon a time, she’d have been barking and bouncing in circles, but now, the lure of sleeping in the sunshine was too strong.
I assumed she’d make an appearance later when she smelt the food.
Opening the door, I found Theo and Laurie standing on the doorstep together. Despite the heat, Laurie was still dressed head to toe in black, but Theo was wearing another sundress—blue and white this time with lace trim. He was also holding a large trifle.
“Hey,” I said, waving the two of them inside.
“Hey!” Theo said with a beaming smile. “I’m sorry. Are we too early? I know you said two-ish, but—”
“You’re fine,” I said. “It just means I might put you to work.”
I beckoned them to follow me into the kitchen, where I found Oliver getting meat out of the fridge. Looking at it all laid out, I wondered if we might have gone slightly overboard with the amount of food, but I wouldn’t mind if we had leftovers. Cold sausages were the perfect breakfast food.
“Look who I found,” I said.
“Hey, you made it,” Oliver said, closing the fridge and giving Theo and Laurie a beaming smile.
“Fuck, we are early,” Theo said.
“I told you,” Laurie said, giving Theo a fond smile.
“No, you said we could probably give it ten minutes. That’s not the same.” Theo turned to Oliver and held out the trifle. “I know Lane said not to bring anything, but I couldn’t resist. Mostly because I’m craving trifle, and this way, I won’t just make a whole one to eat on my own.”
“I’m not going to say no to pudding,” Oliver said, taking the enormous glass bowl and somehow managing to get it into the fridge. “Do you want a drink?”
“By the way,” I said as Oliver began fishing drinks out, “I’ve volunteered them to help.”
“It’s the price we’re paying for being punctual,” Laurie said.
Oliver laughed. “I don’t think there’s actually much that needs doing. We just need to light the barbecue.”
“I’ll do that when everyone arrives,” I said. “No point doing it too early.”
The doorbell rang again, and this time Sparrow gave a half-hearted woof at being disturbed. I left the others in the kitchen and went to retrieve the latest arrival, which turned out to be Noah.
“Alex will be here later,” Noah said. “He’s covering at work because someone called in sick. He told me to say to start without him but that we better leave him some food.”
I chuckled. “I’ll just leave him some burnt sausages.”
It took Noah a second to realise what I was talking about, then he laughed. “I’d forgotten about that! They were not good.”
“What wasn’t good?” Theo asked.
“When we were sixteen, we took a disposable barbecue to the beach and tried to cook burgers and sausages on it. The sausages got so burnt they were nearly solid.”
“It was still better than fucking food poisoning,” I said.
Theo giggled. “That sounds fun! Me and my friends just used to go down to the park and drink whatever cheap alcopops my friend’s sister would buy us. We’d usually take a whole birthday cake from Tesco too.”
“Why?” Noah asked.
“Just because,” Theo said with a shrug. “Everyone likes cake.”
“What about you, Laurie?” Oliver asked. “Any burnt sausages or park cake in your teenage years?”
“No,” Laurie said with a dry chuckle. “I’m incredibly boring in that regard. I was either hidden away in my room or working.”
“Did you write lots of deep poetry about death and vampires?” Theo asked teasingly.
“So much,” Laurie said. “And I played the violin.”
“You still do that now.”
“I didn’t know you played violin,” I said. Laurie was a pretty private guy who didn’t share a lot about himself unless prompted, so I understood why he’d never said anything, but it felt like a big detail to have missed, especially because we’d been friends for nearly three years.
Laurie shrugged and took a sip of his drink. “I’m not that good to be honest. It’s more of a just for fun thing.”
I saw Theo scoff quietly like Laurie was lying, but he didn’t say anything.
A look passed between them I couldn’t read, but I didn’t want to make the conversation awkward, so I just said, “I’m not great at playing anything, but I’ve got a couple of vintage guitars upstairs and a ton of records. I just like mucking about.”
“You’re better than Alex,” Noah said. “But don’t tell him I said that.”
Everyone laughed, and the doorbell rang again.
When I got back into the kitchen with Will in tow, everyone had broken off into little groups and was chatting happily.
I ushered people out into the back garden, where there was more seating and space.
I’d managed to grab a few more garden chairs from Mum and Dad’s for the weekend as well as borrowing their outdoor dining table since I hadn’t gotten round to getting myself one.
Then I grabbed everything I’d need to light the barbecue and headed off to set things on fire.
Spencer arrived just as I was prodding some of the charcoal, waiting for the flames to die down, and then I found myself lost in a vortex of random host jobs.
I kept seeing Oliver in passing, and every time I did, I wanted to reach out and touch him.
It was like we were magnets, and whenever we were near each other, I was pulled towards him.
I wondered what the others would say if I kissed him.
Half of them already knew, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Theo and Laurie had figured it out. Especially Theo—he always had a knack for knowing things. I didn’t think any of them would care, let alone make a big deal of it. The one person’s reaction I couldn’t predict was Oliver’s.
Every day, my feelings for him grew, but I still wasn’t sure where we stood or how he felt.
He seemed to be wavering about going back to London, but I didn’t know whether that was real or something I’d conjured up because I desperately wanted him to stay.
I’d been trying to show him the life we could have together and how much he meant to me, but I didn’t know if it was coming across the way I’d intended.
I knew I’d have to talk to him at some point before it was too late, but I was clinging to the bubble we’d created because I didn’t want to face the possibility that Oliver didn’t feel the same.
I didn’t want our second chance to end the same way as our first, but with every day that passed, the end of summer drew closer and closer.
We were going to have to burst the bubble and face the truth at some point. But today I wanted to keep living out the fantasy we’d created.
Because at that moment, I had everything I’d ever wanted.