Chapter Fourteen
Spencer
“What does everything mean?” Noah asked quietly.
Standing next to Noah, whispering to each other about sex while pretending to look at the menu for a burger stand was not what I’d thought would happen today. But I was very happy to roll with it.
I hadn’t thought sex would come up between us this quickly, mostly because I wasn’t sure Noah would be interested while I was still stumbling around in the dark about my sexuality. But apparently, that wasn’t something I needed to worry about, and now I really wished we could sneak off somewhere.
Not that I wanted to try anything major while sneaking around a very public place with loads of people, but kissing would be nice. And I really wanted to kiss Noah.
The problem was that my brother had eyes like a hawk, and he’d notice if we disappeared for more than ten minutes, and if I tried kissing Noah there, in the middle of the crowd, then someone was definitely going to see us.
“I don’t know if we should talk about that here,” I said. We’d been standing still for so long we were starting to get in the way.
Noah sighed. “I guess not. But that doesn’t mean the conversation ends here. I still want to talk about it.”
“Me too. Do you want to get some food? Then maybe we can find somewhere to sit? Somewhere quiet.” There were plenty of benches dotted around the grounds, and if not, I didn’t mind getting a wet butt from sitting on the grass as long as we could find somewhere secluded so we could keep talking without being disturbed.
“Yeah, let’s do that,” Noah said, giving me a smile. “Do you want a burger? Or there’s a hog roast over there I think? Or fish and chips…”
“Can we get a hog roast? I haven’t had one in ages! Is that okay with you?”
“Sure.” We started walking, both of us keeping an eye where everyone else was as we chatted about little things like food and the face painting we’d seen on some of the kids.
I told Noah about the time I’d had my face painted as a tiger when I was about six and had refused to let my mum wash it off at bedtime, saying that tigers didn’t take baths.
My mum had countered that tigers didn’t eat jelly and ice cream either, which I’d been happily devouring an hour earlier.
I’d tried to out logic her, but she’d won eventually.
Nobody in the world could out argue or out logic my mum.
It didn’t take us long to grab two large hog roast rolls and slide out of the food market into the rest of the grounds.
It was still busy but more spread out. I saw a craft marquee and a cluster of stalls as well as a few funfair rides, which was probably where the face painting was, and some stands advertising the pumpkin trail and spooky tours of the house.
Noah and I headed down towards the bottom of the grounds, where there was a drystone wall indicating the edge of the cliff. There was an iron bench there, looking out over the bay where I could see a few fishing boats bobbing about on the water and heading out to sea now that the tide was high.
We sat down next to each other, our legs not quite touching, watching the boats while we ate.
They’d added crackling to my box, and it crunched delightfully in my mouth.
There was just something about the combination of roast pork, apple sauce, stuffing, and crackling that made me happy.
I’d never tried making a full roast dinner at home since it was usually just me, and it felt a bit excessive, but it was making me want to try.
“You know,” Noah said, “I think this is a first for me. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation about potential sex over hog roast.”
I chuckled. “Sounds like you’re missing out.”
“Have you?”
“Nah. But I did have one with a girl once over hot wings back when I was playing football. She took me to this American place in London, and we had wings and nachos and stuff. They put this sauce on the wings that was so freaking good at first, but then it, like, melted my tongue and set my mouth on fire and everything.” I grimaced at the memory.
“She was there trying to tell me all these things she wanted to do to me, and I was trying not to cry. It didn’t go much further than that. ”
Noah sorted. “Hopefully this is better than that.”
“A million times better,” I said. “Unless you’ve somehow hidden like a billion chillies in the middle of this roll. Then we might have a problem.”
“No spicy food for you, then.”
“Nope. Well, I can do some spicy but not like that spicy if you know what I mean,” I said. “Definitely not getting extra hot from Nando’s any time soon. Man, I haven’t had Nando’s in ages.”
“Oh my God, you are totally a cheeky Nando’s person.” Noah grinned at me. There was a tiny bit of applesauce clinging to the side of his mouth, and I wanted to reach out and wipe it away. With my tongue.
“What’s wrong with a cheeky Nando’s? Everyone loves a cheeky Nando’s,” I said defensively, trying not to think about what Noah’s lips would feel like against mine.
“Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s just… very you, and I like that.”
“Thanks?” I wasn’t sure whether to be confused or endeared. “You, er… you have something just… there.” I pointed at his mouth, and Noah reached up to brush the sauce away. I couldn’t stop staring at the spot, though.
“Cheers,” he said. “By the way, you still haven’t answered my question from earlier.”
“About?”
“What does everything mean?”
I felt my face heat, and I glanced back out over the bay.
The truth was that I didn’t know what it meant because I didn’t know where the boundaries were.
I didn’t think sex with Noah was going to be completely different from the sex I’d had before, but that was just my own assumption.
I’d always preferred partners who weren’t afraid to take charge and tell me what they wanted, and I’d happily spend hours with my tongue buried between their legs bringing them to orgasm over and over again.
But if Noah’s refractory period was anything like mine, then three back-to-back orgasms in the space of twenty minutes was probably not going to be a thing.
I had no idea whether I’d enjoy anal, or if I’d prefer to stick with topping because it was what I was used to, or whether I’d be happy with both.
A couple of women had fingered me over the years, but I’d never had anything more than a few fingers inside me.
I’d always enjoyed that once I’d gotten over the initial weirdness, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about taking a whole cock.
Maybe I needed to order a dildo or something and do some research. Would Noah want to help me? Or would that be weird? Was I supposed to just figure this out by myself like I had with everything else sex related over the years?
If push came to shove, I could always ask Theo. He’d be able to help me, and I knew he wouldn’t judge. He’d probably just sit me down and help me order stuff.
Noah was still waiting patiently for an answer, and I knew I had to say something. “I don’t know,” I said, figuring the best thing was to be honest. There was no point lying to him because Noah already knew I’d never been with another guy, so I couldn’t exactly pretend I was a gay-sex god.
“That’s okay.” He didn’t sound disappointed, just warm and reassuring.
He put his hand on my thigh, and heat shot through me like he’d somehow branded me.
I was half expecting to go home and find his handprint on my skin like he’d claimed me.
“There’s no rush to do anything. We can take this slowly.
I’m not going to get bored with you if we don’t immediately start having sex. ”
“I know.” The reassurance was nice, though.
It felt like there was a different level of expectation here than in my previous relationships, which threw me a little but wasn’t unwelcome.
“And part of me is super happy to do that so I can figure stuff out, but the rest of me is…” I trailed off, and Noah chuckled, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Super horny?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” It hadn’t been that long since I’d last had sex, but I’d always had a pretty high sex drive, and a month was starting to feel like forever.
“And now that I’ve realised how sexy you are and how much I like you, I can’t stop thinking about what it might be like.
” I shook my head and stuffed the last of my hog roast into my mouth.
“Sorry,” I said around my mouthful. “I’m not sure this is great first-date conversation. I should probably be trying to get to know you and stuff instead of talking about how much I wanna fuck you.”
“It’s not like we don’t know each other a little already,” Noah said.
“And there’s no set way this has to go. We’re adults, and as long as both of us are happy and consenting, then we can do whatever we want.
” He glanced around before sliding along the bench and lowering his voice.
“And, if I’m being honest, I’ve been thinking about you too. ”
“Yeah? What sort of things?” My curiosity had been aroused, and I really wanted to know what Noah wanted. I shifted on the bench, and my cock started to fill in my jeans as I imagined all the possibilities.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice catching as I spoke. “Please tell me.”
Noah lowered his voice even further until it was barely above a whisper, every word ghosting over my skin and making goosebumps appear on my arms. “I thought about you spread out on my bed, your cock all hard and aching for me. I thought about straddling your thighs and sinking down onto you, letting you fill me with your cock until you were buried deep inside me.”
“Fuck,” I murmured, my hand clenching on my thigh as I desperately tried not to reach for my rapidly hardening dick. “That would be amazing.”
“What about if I let you touch my thighs and hold my waist but didn’t let you fuck me until I was ready?” Noah asked. “Would you like that?”
“Yeah, I think I would.” I licked my lips and nodded. “I’d want to watch you ride me.”
Noah let out a soft groan that made my cock jerk. “I’d make you feel so good,” he said. “What about if I didn’t let you touch my cock or move your hips until I said so? Would you just be happy to let me ride you? Let me use your cock to get myself off?”
“Shit.” My hips gave the tiniest jolt on the bench.
“Yeah, I’d be up for that. I like it when people tell me what they want…
It gives me something to focus on.” I swallowed and licked my lips again, trying to force out words before my brain shut down.
“I like making my partner happy, and I love making them come.”
“God,” Noah said. “You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now.”
I turned to him and let my eyes meet his, feeling pure need soak into my soul. “Do it. I don’t care if anyone sees us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, fucking positive.” I leant closer. “Kiss me.”
“Noah! Spencer!” Alex’s booming voice shattered the moment and poured ice-cold water over the burning heat in my veins, shrinking my erection faster than jumping into the sea in February would have.
Noah and I turned to see the utter menace that was my little brother strolling towards us.
I’d never been so tempted to throw someone off a cliff.
“There you are,” he said. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“Yeah, we came down here for a bit of fresh air,” Noah said, his mouth recovering faster than mine. “It was a little crowded up there.”
Alex looked between us but didn’t question our excuse. “Okay, well a load of them want to do the pumpkin trail. Lane and Will are turning it into some sort of competition. Winners get free drinks or something. Come on.”
“Do you need us?” I asked, trying desperately not to sound snappy. “My, er, my ankle’s a little sore.”
Alex raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Maybe.”
“Yeah, I’m not buying it. You just don’t want to enter because you’re afraid you’re going to lose,” Alex said with a smirk. I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me by prodding my competitive side, the one that had never really gone quiet, even after I’d retired.
“I won’t lose. It’s a trail designed for kids,” I said. “How are they going to make it competitive? Tie us together or something?”
“That’s an idea,” Alex said. “I don’t know what they’re planning, though. I just said I’d come fetch you. Come on.” He patted my shoulder. “You too, Noah. Move your bloody arses, and let’s go. I want free drinks.”
I stood and sighed, looking sadly at the remains of the moment Noah and I had been enjoying.
“I love your brother,” Noah said as we started to traipse back across the grass behind him. “But sometimes I want to kill him.”
I laughed. “I think we might need a ticketed system.”
“Do you think he knows?” Noah asked.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “But Alex isn’t exactly… I don’t know. Romantic? He probably thinks we’re just avoiding him or something.”
I wasn’t sure I believed that, though. Alex had always known when I was trying to hide something from him. It was like he had some kind of sixth sense. My only options were to confront him and out myself or wait until he decided to play his hand and start poking me for information.
“By the way,” Noah said quietly as we approached the hustle and bustle of the food market again. “I’m going to get that kiss from you. Even if I have to wait.”
“Good,” I said. “But don’t wait too long. Otherwise, I might explode.”
Noah snorted, and the pair of us walked back towards our friends, laughing about something we couldn’t explain.