Chapter Twenty
Spencer
My post-blow-job talk with Noah had started to unknot a few more of the worries in my chest I’d felt about football.
I’d told Chris about it being a tentative yes and that I had some stuff to sort first, and his enthusiastic response had had me grinning for hours.
Apparently, they were all just excited to potentially have me on board, even if I just played for five minutes, because they wanted it to be something we all did together.
The whole idea of it being just a fun thing we did as friends was something I hadn’t even considered, and I started to wonder if I’d been looking at it all wrong.
I’d been thinking of it as something serious, even if it was just a rec league, but Chris, Sean, and Andrew had just been thinking of it as another fun, sporty thing we could do. Andrew had even said in the group chat that he didn’t care if we were shit as long as we enjoyed it.
Which Sean and Chris had booed him for in GIF form, and I’d just laughed.
They were still looking for another couple of people, though, which was why I was heading up to Will’s farm to try and sweet talk him into joining us.
Cliff Top Farm sat nestled around the edge of the Castle grounds and rolled into the land beyond it.
It was mostly a sheep farm, but I knew Will had diversified the farm’s income over the past ten years with some unique holiday cottages—made from old shepherd’s huts and repurposed horseboxes—and a livery yard complete with both indoor and outdoor arenas and some enormous stables Will and his dad had constructed themselves in two of the old barns.
His parents still lived at the farm in an old cottage near the gate, but they’d stepped back from the bulk of the farm management several years ago.
Will’s mum, Sandra, now managed more of the cottages while his dad, Mark, helped Will out where he could and spent the rest of his time looking after his beloved trio of highland cows.
Since I knew Will was always busy, I’d sent him a text on Wednesday morning to ask if I could drop in.
I could’ve just asked him over text, but Will was more likely to say no if I didn’t corner him.
The man lived and breathed his work, and while I knew farming wasn’t something he could easily take a holiday from, he could at least take a couple of hours off a week to play football.
The world wasn’t going to end if he did, even if he didn’t believe it.
I pulled my car into the yard and parked next to Will’s mud-splattered Land Rover.
It was a very grey and drizzly autumn day, and even here, set back from the sea, I still felt the chill of the coastal breeze trying to get through my hoodie.
Will’s two working dogs, Nellie and Moss, pottered out of the nearby old stable Will had converted into their pen to see who it was, and Nellie wagged her tail when she realised it was me.
Being working collies, they weren’t particularly cuddly, even if they were both gorgeous.
I’d always loved dogs but had never really considered getting one because I was so busy with the coffee shop.
But maybe that would change in the future.
If not, I’d have to be happy stealing snuggles from Lane’s old collie, Sparrow, whenever I could.
Will must have heard my car because he appeared from one of the nearby buildings, wiping something off his hands with an old rag. He was wearing the same navy overalls he always did and a solid-looking pair of boots that had straw clinging to the bottom of them.
“Hey, Spencer, you all right?” he called as the dogs bounced up to him, clearly thinking it was time to get back to work.
“Yeah,” I said. “You?”
“Not bad, not bad. Just changing the oil and filters on the bike. You want a cuppa?”
“Go on then,” I said with a grin and followed Will to the back door of the stone farmhouse, toeing off my trainers and lining them up next to his boots. Will stripped his overalls open and tied the arms around his waist before he wandered through to the kitchen, grabbing the kettle to fill it up.
“Grab a seat,” he said, gesturing at the large, slightly battered wooden kitchen table in the middle of the room.
One end of it held a couple stacks of paperwork next to several old issues of Farmers Weekly.
I pulled out a chair and sat while Will dug in the cupboard for some mugs.
“There’s buns in the tin if you want one,” Will added.
“Mum was baking for the cottages again, and we had some left over. Should still be all right.”
I reached for the large tin patterned with brightly coloured chickens that was lined up beside Will’s laptop and popped it open.
Inside were a couple of sticky-looking fruit buns with large sugar crystals studded across the glazed surface.
They looked delicious, and even though I’d spent the morning baking for work, I was never going to say no to more cake.
“How’s things?” I asked, not wanting to dive straight into my question. I didn’t want Will to feel like I was only there to nag him.
“Busy, but not too bad. Cottages are fully booked for half-term. Luckily, Mum’s been taking care of that because I’ve had the sheep to sort, but yeah, it’s not too bad.
” Will nodded, and as I studied his face, I realised he looked tired.
I knew his parents helped out as best they could and he had a couple of farm hands too as well as someone to manage the livery yard, but still, Will looked like he needed a break or at least someone to help share the mental load.
But I couldn’t remember the last time Will had dated anyone. “How’s things with you?”
“Pretty good actually,” I said, smiling as I pulled the bun apart and tried to catch any sugar falling onto the table.
“Yeah? You and Noah get things figured out, then?” Will asked. I stared at him, eyes wide, and he chuckled and shook his head. “Was it supposed to be a secret or something?”
“I… er… I mean… I’ve not long figured out I was bi,” I said. “And the whole thing with Noah is pretty new. So it wasn’t like a deliberate secret, more that we just weren’t really telling people yet because you lot are so nosy.”
Will nodded. “I figured.”
“How did you know anyway?” I asked, still baffled by Will’s question. Did the man know everything? Could he read minds or something?
Will shrugged. “Just by watching you two. There was the going to the Castle together, the looking like I’d just kicked a puppy when I suggested you go with Oliver, the sneaking off together, the way Laurie swooped in to take Alex away…
” He grinned fondly at me. “I didn’t know you were trying to be subtle about it. ”
“And did you… did you know I was bi?” I asked. “Because if you did, you could’ve told me ages ago!”
“I had a hunch,” Will said. “But it wasn’t really any of my business. I figured you either hadn’t worked it out or you had and didn’t want to tell people, so it wasn’t up to me to say anything. I figured you’d get to it in your own time if you wanted people to know.”
“Okay… but how? Because it’s only become obvious to me recently. Am I really that dense? Or are you just psychic?”
“Not psychic just observant.” Will chuckled and started to pour hot water into the two mugs on the counter. “Remember when we were sixteen and Georgie Wood joined the football team?”
“Yes…” I dug through my memory to find what Will was talking about, the image of Georgie resurfacing in my mind.
He’d been a year older than us and had just moved to Heather Bay.
He’d been fit as fuck with the most amazingly defined thighs that had been highlighted by his shorts, and this soft, dark hair that swept across his face, and…
Ah, fuck.
“Yeah, I see it now,” I said, shaking my head. How had I ever thought that my feelings for other men were just platonic, just guys being guys?
“You literally couldn’t stop staring at him,” Will said. “You nearly walked into the fucking goalposts once trying to talk to him.”
“He was so cool! And he was proper fit too.” I sighed. “I always thought I liked looking at other guys because they were, like, physically fit, y’know? Or I like their legs or their shoulders or something. I just thought it was like a regular thing.”
“Mate, I love you, but you are properly unobservant sometimes.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said. “At least I figured it out now. And Noah’s been amazing about it.”
“I’m glad,” Will said. “You two are good together.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, I do.”
I grinned as I took the mug of tea from Will. I was glad nobody had made a big deal about me and Noah being a thing, at least not so far anyway. Maybe it was time to tell the others, although they might have already figured it out if we hadn’t been very subtle about everything.
Then again, nobody was as observant as Will, so we might’ve gotten lucky.
Will walked over to the table and pulled another chair out, putting his mug on the table as he reached for the tin of buns. “Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No, there was actually something else.” I tore my last piece of bun in half, resisting the temptation to squish it into a ball just to give my hands something to do.
“Couple of friends of mine from the gym are looking to put together a five-a-side team for the league the leisure centre is running. I think I’m going to give it a try and wondered if you’d want to come with me? ”
Will took a sip of his tea, and I saw him thinking. “You think you’ll be okay playing?”
I smiled. It was so typical of Will that his first thought was concern for me.
“Yeah, I think so. It’s rolling subs, and I can play carefully.
I’m going to get myself checked by the doctor next week too.
And I… I think it’ll be good for me. Noah and I had this long chat last night about it.
For ages I’ve just locked football away and tried to forget about it, even though that’s impossible.
My feelings are still mixed because I’m not sure I’ll ever really get over what happened, but I can’t just keep pretending it didn’t.
I might not always like that it did or that it totally changed my life, but I can’t change the past. And if this gives me a chance to do something I’ve always loved, then maybe it’d be good for me to try again. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it does,” Will said. “I’m glad you’re talking about it with him.”
“Me too.” I took a long sip of my tea, letting it warm me from the inside out.
There was something cosy about sitting there with Will.
It made me realise I didn’t see enough of him.
“You avoided my question, though. Are you going to come too? We need at least one or two more people, and you were always really good. And it’d be good for you to take a break once in a while. ”
“You sound like my mum,” Will said. “And I come to the pub every week.”
“I know, but that’s one night. Come on, the farm’s not going to burn down if you leave it for a couple of hours to play football. You can’t be a hermit out here forever.”
Will chuckled. “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a hermit. Just busy.”
“Even busy people can take a night off to do something fun,” I said, giving him my best pleading look. “Come on, Will. Please. For me. And the other guys are really nice too. Plus, I can promise no toxic, homophobic sports bullshit from them since they’re all queer too. It’ll be fun!”
“If I say no, are you just going to keep nagging me until I say yes?”
“Probably,” I said. “I’m annoying like that.”
“Fine,” Will said in an amused but resigned tone. “I’ll play.”
“Yes!” I did a little happy dance in my seat, and Will laughed. “It’ll be awesome, I promise.”
“I can’t guarantee I’ll be any good, though.”
“That’s okay, neither can I. We can all be shit together.”
A new sense of excitement began to bubble away in my chest, and I knew I’d made the right choice. Despite my swirling emotions, I knew I couldn’t wait to get out there again with a ball at my feet, even if I didn’t do anything more than casually defend.
Now I just had to hope I could remember how to play.