Chapter Nineteen
Jamie
It was almost funny how quickly Will and I slipped into a routine over the next few days.
It had started when I’d insisted on helping however and wherever I could.
Will had come back to see me on Saturday afternoon to check if I was settling in okay and asked what my plans were for the week.
I’d told him I didn’t have any because I’d realised over the last week that being left alone with my thoughts wasn’t conducive to actually achieving anything.
My brain had decided that if I wanted it to figure out what we were supposed to be doing for the rest of our life, it needed me to be doing other things so it could work through the problem quietly on its own without the rest of my thoughts intruding and prodding it to ask how it was getting on.
And since I didn’t have anything to do except sit around and contemplate my own fate, I’d decided that my best bet was to volunteer my services to Will and hope it provided a good enough distraction to allow me to figure my way out of the fucking mess I’d gotten myself into.
Will had taken a bit of convincing, but his concern seemed to stem from taking advantage of me rather than my lack of experience. I supposed we all had to start somewhere, but it was almost sweet how willing he was to teach me.
“Please, Will,” I’d said. “I really want to help, and you said you need an extra pair of hands. I might be pretty useless to start with, but I’ll try.”
“Are you sure? You’re supposed to be on holiday… It feels… I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“Trust me, the only thing I’m supposed to be doing is working out what the fuck I’m doing with my life and why the fuck I was so bored with everything.”
“Okay,” he’d said. “But I’m not going to go easy on you. I’m not going to throw you in and expect you to swim or anything, but I can’t afford to slow down. And you’ll have to be willing to get your hands dirty.”
“I can do that,” I’d said, even if the prospect didn’t totally thrill me. “Although, I will have to order myself some better clothes. Can I just send them to the house?”
“Better clothes?”
“I can’t keep wearing your old coat and boots, can I? And I should probably get some better jumpers too since mine aren’t the warmest. Do you have any brands you’d recommend? I don’t want to throw money at something that’s not going to last or is totally wrong for what we’ll be doing.”
“Er, sure, I can do that.”
I’d spent the rest of the afternoon with my laptop, the cake, and the bottle of wine working my way through several websites and ordering everything I thought I’d need with a few extras just in case.
I knew the store names would confuse the fuck out of Dad’s accountant when he checked my credit card spending, but he could shove it.
My purchases arrived over the next few days, and I was now the proud owner of some gorgeous Ariat work boots, a pair of wellies and thick socks to go under them, several fleeces and woolly jumpers, some waterproof trousers, a couple of thermal base layers, and a thick, tweed shooting coat, which had been an extravagance but was too beautiful to pass up.
It was warm, stylish, and came with an abundance of pockets, which Daisy always told me was a good thing.
I’d also bought myself a flat cap, a woolly hat, and several pairs of gloves because Will said you could never have too many of them.
I’d also ordered some more of my favourite hand cream and included an extra bottle for Will because his skin was often red and sore. I’d left it on his bedside table one night during the week when I’d stayed in the house because I’d been too lazy to get dressed and go back to the hut in the cold.
And just like that, we’d started to slip into a routine without either of us noticing.
Will would come and fetch me in the morning—if I hadn’t stayed in the house the night before—and take me out on his rounds.
I’d seen the sun rise more times in the past few days than I had in my entire life, and every time it still took my breath away as it bathed the moors in light.
After that, there would be coffee, and we’d start on whatever else needed doing.
I’d helped install a couple of owl boxes in the hay barns across the moors and spent an afternoon with Will fixing a fence, which had been far more exhausting and strenuous than I’d ever imagined.
He’d introduced me to Higgs, who showed me the workshop and gave me a crash course in using a belt sander, which verged on the edge of terrifying, but I’d managed not to damage anything or anyone, so that felt like an achievement.
Dylan had taken me round the yard and the fields, talking me through the livery side of the business, and I’d asked an enormous number of questions because I’d never even thought about the complex realities of keeping horses.
He’d even introduced me to his two, who’d both nudged my arms to demand treats and attempted to rifle through my pockets until Dylan showed me how to give them mints from the palm of my hand.
Will had started showing me the paperwork for the farm when he sat down to do his weekly accounts, and I realised with horror just how quickly things added up and how little margin for error there was.
That was the thing about coming from money; I was incredibly good at spending it, but I wasn’t always conscious about where it came from.
Will had mentioned that farming was tough, but every moment I spent with him gave me a new appreciation for his words and for the heavy weight of the legacy he carried.
It was easy to see just how much this place meant to him. It wasn’t just words said to make a point; it was a truth that infused everything he did. If I’d doubted what Will had said when he told me he couldn’t walk away, one week with him was enough to prove me wrong a hundred times over.
But the one thing that was clear was that Will needed help.
Not more experienced hands like Higgs and Dylan, but someone who could share the mental and emotional load.
I just didn’t know if I could be that person, no matter how much I might want to be.
My whole life had been so far removed from Will’s reality that it felt like stepping into another world.
One week with him might have given me a taster, but I couldn’t claim to be an expert by any stretch of the imagination.
I had so little idea what half his work involved, and I had no idea whether the fact that I liked Will would be enough.
I was starting to hope it would be, though.
“What’re you doing tomorrow night?” Will asked on Thursday evening as we stood in his kitchen and he attempted to teach me how to make dumplings to go on top of the beef stew we’d made at lunchtime.
The stew had been happily simmering away in the oven all afternoon, making the whole downstairs smell absolutely delicious.
“Same thing I’ve done every night this week,” I said, attempting to unstick dumpling dough from my fingers. “Nothing.”
“Am I nothing, then?”
I snorted. “Technically, I haven’t done you every night this week, so that doesn’t count.”
Our evening routine had varied, but most nights we’d made dinner together and chatted quietly while we watched whatever we could find on Netflix. Then I’d either retreated to the shepherd’s hut to snuggle down in bed and continue my secret reading on sheep farming, or we’d ended up in Will’s bed.
“I suppose. Do you want to come to the pub with me tomorrow?” He asked it so casually, but when I glanced across at him, I saw a small, nervous twitch at the side of his mouth.
“That sounds fun,” I said as I put my not-at-all circular dumpling on the floured chopping board between us. “Will all your friends be there?”
“Yeah. That’s the downside.”
“Are you really referring to your friends as a downside?”
“No, but…” Will sighed. “I love them to pieces, but they’re all really bloody nosy and don’t have any form of best behaviour.”
“They sound just like my friends.” Only Will’s were probably nicer and less interested in my money and what club I could get them into. “Tell me about them?”
“Are you asking me to do you a SparkNotes on my friends?”
“It wouldn’t hurt. Just so I don’t make a total ass of myself in front of them,” I said. “Besides, I get the feeling they all have the slight upper hand since they’ve seen me in person, but I’ve only caught glimpses of most of them.”
“Okay.” Will scooped up the last bit of dumping mix and expertly rolled it into a ball.
“You’ve met Spencer already. He runs Novel Tea with his brother Alex, who’s a bit of a grumpy bastard, but he’s got a good heart.
Then there’s Noah, he’s Spencer’s boyfriend and Alex’s best mate.
He’s a pretty chilled lad. Teaches science at the grammar school, so he’s got to be fairly unshakeable.
Lane is my best mate. He’s a builder and can be a bit sarcastic, but he’s always there when you need him.
His boyfriend is Oliver. Oliver grew up here and moved back last year.
He’s a bit quieter, but he’s fun, and he, Lane, Alex, and Noah all went to school together. ”
I nodded, trying to hold all the pieces in my mind like they were the cast of one of those Real Housewives shows Daisy and I loved to binge. “With you so far. Anyone else?”
“Yeah, a couple more. Laurie’s our resident goth, and he runs a funeral home in the middle of town. He lives with Theo, who’s probably the more morbid of the two since he collects weird taxidermy.”
“Oh, I think I’ve seen them,” I said, thinking back to that first Friday night. “Theo’s blond? And more femme? I think I heard him say something about a chess set.”
“That’s them,” Will said. “Don’t think Theo’s won the chess set battle yet.”
“Are they together too?”
“Yes and no.”
“How does that work? Are they just casual? Open?”
“No, it’s more like none of us know if they’re actually together, and at this point, nobody wants to ask. But from the way they act, I’m pretty sure they are, even if they don’t realise it.”
I smiled to myself. “That’s actually kind of sweet. Think they’ll figure it out?”
“I hope so,” Will said. “I can’t imagine them ending up with anyone else.
” He put the last dumpling on the board, then went to open the oven to retrieve the stew.
“Then there’s just Anders and Bastian. Anders is an author, and Bastian’s a photographer.
I don’t know them as well since Oliver introduced us to them, but they’re a lot of fun.
Bastian’s a bit dreamy, and Anders is more down to earth.
You always want Anders on your pub quiz team. He and Lane are lethal together.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever done a pub quiz,” I said.
“We’ll have to rectify that. They do them in the Sleeping Goose on Wednesday.
I don’t go very often, but there’s usually a couple of my lot there we could go with.
” He set the large, deep-red casserole dish on top of the oven, lifting the lid to release a wave of steam that made my stomach rumble.
I’d been hungrier this week than I had been in ages, and I had to assume it was all the physical labour.
“That sounds fun. We can add it to the list of things I need to do.”
I left the before I leave unspoken, ignoring the way it hung in the air as Will put the dumplings into the stew. The longer I was in Heather Bay, the less certain I was that I wanted to leave.
I just didn’t know if Will would want me to stay.