Chapter Five
Henry
“One, two, three. One, two, three. To the left… left, Henry, left!” Percy, our long-suffering choreographer and the man who’d been trying to teach me Regency dances for the past four days, sighed heavily. The poor man wasn’t being paid enough for this.
“Fuck, sorry!” I called. I’d collided with Tamsin for the third time in a row and narrowly avoided treading on her toes. “Sorry, sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Tamsin said. “You missed my feet this time.”
“Yes, one out of three attempts is definitely what we want,” I said, silently wondering why the hell I’d accepted a role where there was dancing involved.
I’d never been co-ordinated enough to dance.
Fight scenes I could manage, but dancing was a completely different ball game and one I was struggling to master.
But this was a Regency drama and that meant there were balls, so come hell or high water I had to learn to dance. And it was poor Percy’s job to try and teach me.
“Let’s walk it through again,” Percy said, coming over to me and replacing Tamsin in front of me. He held his hand up and shooed me back into my starting position. “Okay, ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” I was supposed to learn four different dances to use throughout the series and then supposed to get so good at them that I’d be able to dance with my partner and stare longingly across the dance floor to wherever Kane was without bumping into anyone or crushing anyone’s toes.
Which at the moment felt like an impossibility.
I’d rather learn to jump out of a helicopter.
It took another two hours before Percy was happy enough to dismiss us, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I’d actually achieved something or because my brain had turned into mashed potato and everything was just going in one ear and out the other.
Either way, my aching limbs were grateful for the escape.
Maybe part of the reason I was struggling was because I couldn’t get my mind off Alex, and thinking about anything else was almost impossible.
Every time I’d looked at the person in front of me, whether that was Percy or Tamsin or another extra brought in for the balls, I kept picturing Alex in their place. I wondered what he’d look like all dressed up like a Regency gentleman, his hand pressed against mine.
Would his skin be soft or calloused? Would he be graceful, gliding around the room like he was walking on air, or would he add flair and roll his eyes at the ridiculousness of it all?
Would he glare at me for treading on his toes or just laugh?
There was so much I didn’t know, but I wanted answers to all those questions and more.
Alex had been so quick to rebuff me, but there had to be a reason for that.
Was he taken? Surely if he was, he’d have said that. Not that he owed me details of his private life, but the easiest way to get rid of me would’ve been to say he was in a relationship.
Perhaps he wasn’t interested in men. But again, why wouldn’t he have just said that? Why tell me my lines were terrible and smirk at me if he wasn’t even the tiniest bit interested. And there was the way his brother had happily offered up information about him, like telling me the days he worked.
There had to be another reason, and I wanted to know what it was.
“Do you want to go on another coffee run tomorrow?” Cas asked as he drove Kane and me back to our cottage on the golf buggy he’d acquired from someone on set.
“It’s Tuesday tomorrow, right?” I asked.
The days had already started to blur into one.
As with most limited TV shows, we didn’t have the longest filming schedule in the world, so every day was packed to the brim.
We got a few days off here and there, but not many.
We should have had Sunday off, but since I’d taken to dancing like a lead duck to water, I’d spent most of the day in one of the house’s staterooms with a very resigned Percy.
“Yeah,” Kane said. “I don’t think we’ll have time for coffee, though. We’ve gotta be up at four for hair and makeup. We’re shooting down at the beach tomorrow.”
“Isn’t it supposed to rain?” I asked as I leant forward to peer out of the front of the buggy at the dark sky. It was thick with clouds that looked ominously heavy, like they could burst at any second, drenching us in a freezing spring shower.
“I don’t think so. They said it’s meant to rain overnight but clear up by the morning. Apparently, we’re going to get blue skies and everything.”
“To the beach it is then,” I muttered darkly.
I actually loved the idea of filming down at the beach, even if it did rain, but we’d be down there for the whole morning, which meant I’d miss out on seeing a glimpse of Alex.
Although Spencer had said he didn’t usually work Tuesday mornings, so there was no guarantee he’d even be there.
“Want me to get you coffee and bring it down?” Cas asked, turning the buggy through the cottage gateway.
“You’d be a fucking lifesaver if you did,” Kane said. “Do you think if you took my reusable cup down, they’d put it in that? It’d probably keep it warmer than a paper one.”
“Sure, just leave it on the table and I’ll take it. There’s some Post-it notes on there too, so write down what you want. If not, I’ll just get you whatever I feel like.”
Kane chuckled. “That could be fun. I’m almost curious to see what I’d end up with.”
“Don’t be,” I said. “Last time I did that I got some horrible monstrosity that was more espresso than milk. It tasted like death.”
“I’d be down for that,” Kane said. “I think I’m going to need it.”
“Aren’t you used to the early mornings by now?” I asked.
“No, I’m better with late nights. I spent all my formative years staying up after gigs,” he said with a wry laugh. “I’m more used to seeing four in the morning from the other side.”
Cas pulled the buggy to a stop and we all climbed out. “I suppose you could stay up all night,” I suggested. “But you might be dead by the time we start filming.”
“Nope, not going to risk it. I’m going to be a good actor and get my early night so I can be up and awake without needing half a tube of concealer to cover the bags under my eyes.”
“You mean you’re going to lie in bed and spend two hours scrolling through TikTok and talking to Austin?” I teased as Cas opened the door and we headed inside, kicking off our shoes and flicking on the lights to illuminate the cosy space with a warm glow.
“Fuck off!” Kane grinned and flipped me the bird before heading towards the stairs. “Goodnight!”
“Night,” I called. I was tempted to flop into an armchair but the burning feeling in my legs suggested that once I sat down, I wasn’t going to want to get up again. It would be better to just flop on my bed instead.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time. Just before nine…
“I’m going to bed too,” I said to Cas, who was rummaging in the fridge, probably looking for a beer. “See you in the morning.”
I wasn’t actually going to go to bed. I was going to make a phone call.
Closing the door to my room, I lowered myself onto the bed, groaning as my thighs protested. I splayed out in the middle as I unlocked my phone and tapped the screen a few times until it started ringing.
Eventually, after what felt like forever, my brother answered. “Hey, Hen.”
“There you are,” I said. “I wondered what took you so long.”
“Sorry, I was watching TV with Lewis.”
“Watching anything good?”
“Just some cooking documentary,” Jason said. “It’s all about pizza chefs. We’re just watching an episode about a guy in Northern Italy—his food looks incredible.”
My stomach rumbled at the thought of pizza. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had one, and dinner had been hours ago, well before the torturous evening of Percy’s dance routines. “You’re making me hungry.”
“Get a snack then.”
“But that would mean getting up,” I whined. “I’m on day four of dance training, Jason, and I swear Percy is trying to kill me. I’m sure he’s making it more difficult on purpose.”
“Have you been practising?”
“When? I don’t have time for fucking practice. I swear, the timeline for this is ridiculous.”
“Welcome to television,” Jason said with a wry chuckle.
“Thanks, it’s so much fun!”
“You’re the one who wanted the role. You could’ve just gone and done another Hollywood blockbuster and pocketed another, what, ten million?”
“Something like that,” I said, not wanting to get into the specifics.
I’d been offered fifteen to twenty for a project recently, but the script had been dire and the money would literally have been the only reason to say yes.
It was probably why they were offering so much to begin with. “But I’d have been so bored.”
“Learn to bloody dance then.”
I sighed. “I’ll try, but I keep getting distracted.”
“By what? You’re not flirting with one of your co-stars again, are you?”
“No, definitely not. Kane and his boyfriend are disgustingly in love, Tamsin’s more like a little sister, and Gemma’s married,” I said. “Plus I have to work with them every day and I don’t want to ruin anything, especially if we have to work together on more seasons. That’d be so fucking awkward.”
“Okay, who are you distracted by then?”
“It could be a what, not a who,” I said.
“It’s not, though,” Jason said, and I could practically hear the exasperated expression on his face.
“How do you know?”
“One, it’s nine o’clock on a random Monday and we only spoke last week, so this definitely isn’t just a catch-up.
Two, I know you and when you’re on set, you’re the most focused, professional person I’ve ever seen.
Nothing gets to you or throws you off. A fucking grenade could go off and you wouldn’t break character.
I’ve never seen anything that could faze you, Hen.
So it can’t be a what—it has to be a who.
And if you’re that fucking distracted, then it’s got to be serious. Who are they?”
It shouldn’t have surprised me how well Jason could read me because he’d been doing it for years. “Alex. His name’s Alex. He works at a local coffee shop here, and he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.”
“Okay, I can see why that might be distracting.”
“That’s not the worst part.”
“What is then?”
I sighed and scrubbed my face with my hand. “He doesn’t like me. He thinks I’m an arse.” There was a long moment of silence. “Well?” I asked. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
“Yes,” Jason said. “Not everyone has to like you, Henry.”
“But… it doesn’t make any sense! He has no reason not to like me. I’m… I’m adorable.”
Jason snorted. It was infuriating. “Seriously? You’re adorable? What are you, five? You sound like a pouting toddler.”
“I’m not pouting.”
“Yeah, you are. I can fucking hear it.”
“You’re such a dick,” I said, forcing my face to relax from the pout I definitely wasn’t wearing.
“You’re the one who called me,” Jason said pointedly. “If you didn’t want to hear me say it, why would you even tell me?”
He had a point. I’d wanted to talk to him about this all afternoon because I’d known if there was anyone who’d understand what was going on, it was my brother.
He’d been calling me out on my bullshit for years, even when I hadn’t wanted to hear it.
I tried to do the same for him too, although I’d admit I wasn’t as good at it as I could’ve been.
I had a nasty habit of being rather self-centred and selfish, especially when things didn’t go my way.
Which was what was happening now. God fucking dammit.
“Henry? You still there?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I just… I suppose I needed you to call me out on my bollocks again.”
“It’s what I’m here for,” he said.
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to be.”
“Come on, who else is going to tell you to your face when you’re being a dick?
” Jason said softly. “I’m pretty sure when you get to your level of famous, most people won’t tell you what they actually think, which is why you need me to keep you grounded.
Otherwise, your head’ll get so big you won’t be able to fit through doors. ”
“Alex…” I said with a sudden realisation.
“What?”
“Alex did. He told me to my face what he thought.” I sat bolt upright, ignoring the twinging of my muscles.
“The first time we met, I tried flirting with him and my line was shit and he told me. In fact, he asked if I was actually going to bother going with that. And then when we went back, I asked if I could try again, and he just… said no.”
“Seriously? He said no to you.” The surprise in his voice was evident and it made me smile. “I thought only Izzy could claim that title.”
“He might have to share,” I said. “Or… maybe not.”
“Henry, what are you going to do?”
“Nothing! Okay, maybe something. Look, you just said everyone needs someone who isn’t afraid to say what they think to their faces, especially when that everyone is me. And maybe Alex is that person for me.”
“Henry,” Jason said exasperatedly. “That’s not what I meant. If he said no to you, you can’t just badger him until he gives in. That’s not cute or romantic. That’s harassment.”
“I’m not going to harass him,” I said. “I just want to know why he said it. You have to tell me when I’m being an arse; you’re my brother. But Alex… he knew who I was and he didn’t care. He said it anyway. That has to mean something.”
Jason sighed. “Does it? Maybe it just means he’s not the kind of man to get starstruck.”
“No offence, but it’s me. Everyone gets starstruck.”
“Now you definitely sound like a twat,” Jason said.
“Maybe, but I’m still going to ask. You always said Lewis didn’t care who you were, he just wanted to be your friend and then something more, and you loved that because he saw you for who you really were, not who people wanted you to be.
I’ve never met anyone who’d turn me down or say anything like that to my face except Izzy, and that doesn’t count because he was already in love with Edward.
It has to mean something.” Because if it didn’t, then I didn’t know what I’d do.
I was so twisted and tangled up inside it felt like my insides were tying themselves in knots trying to understand why Alex had reacted that way.
Maybe Jason was right and he just didn’t like me.
But if he didn’t, why had he smiled when he’d spoken? And why had there been a flame burning in his eyes when they’d met mine, like he was challenging me to something?
I had no idea which way was even up anymore—all I knew was the only way to get out of this emotional maze was to find Alex.