Chapter Twelve
Henry
Usually, I was ready to escape my filming location on my rare days or weekends off, but this time I felt a pang of reluctance.
Alex had made it clear he didn’t want a boyfriend or a relationship and this was nothing more than a pretence, but we’d had so much fun at dinner the previous night that I felt bad about leaving for the weekend and not getting to spend more time with him.
But I was going to get to see Jason and Lewis again, and that was a fun prospect. It’d been ages since I’d seen either of them and I missed them.
I pulled my car up outside their house in Lincoln and practically threw myself out, straightening my jacket before grabbing my overnight bag off the back seat and walking up to the door. It opened before I’d even knocked.
“Hey, you made it,” Jason said as he pulled me into a hug.
He was a head shorter than me with longer hair that he’d obviously been growing out because it now hung around his shoulders.
He had a closely clipped beard and moustache and sparkling eyes that roamed over me as if he’d expected me to turn up with a stab wound.
He was wearing navy joggers and a Celestials fan T-shirt with a rainbow-patterned slogan about his character and his husband—the relationship that had caused so much trouble that Jason had flown all the way to LA to plead his case with the studio. “How was the drive? No Cas today?”
“Not too bad actually,” I said as I stepped inside and slipped off my shoes, leaving my bag by the stairs. “Some of the roads were horribly narrow but it was easier when I got onto the motorway. And Cas is on his weekend off. I promised him you wouldn’t let me get murdered.”
“I’ll try.” Jason laughed and clapped me on my shoulder.
“Come on through, I’ll make you some coffee.
Lewis has just nipped out to see Edward—he’s got a convention in Birmingham next week and he’s panicking about something.
Izzy sent Lewis a message this morning. Apparently, Edward had been up since five and was refusing to come out of his sewing room. ”
“Lewis has gone to play peacemaker then?”
“I think it’ll be less peacemaker and more drill sergeant,” Jason said with a chuckle as he headed to the kitchen.
“You know I’d love to see what Lewis would be like on set one day. He’d make a wonderful production manager.”
“That’d probably be too much for him. He’s better with just two or three people. Then he can focus.”
“Ah, that makes sense,” I said. Lewis had always been open about the fact he had ADHD and had kindly explained it to me when I’d asked him about it in the past.
We walked into the beautiful kitchen at the back of the house that Jason and Lewis had refitted not long after they’d moved in. They’d bought the house while Jason had been wrapping up Celestials, but they’d done a lot of work on it in the past year.
Whenever I was here, it really reminded me that my brother had put down roots and wasn’t going anywhere.
And while he was an actor on the London stage, he wasn’t likely to go further.
He’d also said he wasn’t interested in film or television again, but I was hoping I’d be able to convince him to take Jenny up on her offer for a cameo in Llewelyn since he wouldn’t have to go far and it wouldn’t be for another month or so.
We’d never filmed together and I really wanted to do it once because I thought it would be fun.
It would be like we were kids again, play acting up and down our tiny living room as we pretended to be everything from ancient Chinese emperors to members of the USS Enterprise, boldly going where no one had gone before, to pirates digging up lost treasure on faraway islands.
They’d been some of the best days of my life.
“How’s the shoot going?” Jason asked as he began to pull mugs out of a cupboard and grabbed the ground coffee for the large yellow coffee machine sitting on the counter. “Still struggling with the dancing?”
“No, thank fuck. I think I’m finally getting it.
Mostly because Kane and Tamsin made me practice up and down the cottage’s living room virtually every night this week and they keep making me do it whenever we have a spare minute on set.
Kane started giving me those chocolate animal biscuits when I get it right. ”
Jason laughed. “It’s like they’re training a puppy.”
“Fuck off! It could be worse.” Kane had teasingly praised me the first time I’d gotten it right and I’d rolled my eyes, but that hadn’t stopped him giving me biscuits from the packs he kept in his bag on set.
Kane said they were his favourite and he got hungry all the fucking time because of how much he had to work out, and that apples and peanut butter got really fucking boring really quickly.
I sympathised heavily. The movie star diet was not a glamorous one.
“True, they could spray you with a bottle like a kitten.”
“You’re such a dick,” I said, taking the freshly made mug of coffee out of Jason’s hands.
“I’m your brother. I think it’s required.” He grinned at me. “I’m glad it’s going well, though.”
“Me too. I made the right decision.” I leant against the counter and sipped my coffee, debating whether to tell Jason about the situation with Alex.
I knew he’d be angry about it, and I also knew it wouldn’t be just him I was telling but Lewis as well—it’d be easier to wait and get it over with all at once.
“Yeah? Do you think you’ll go back to films after this?”
“Probably. I love doing them, but… I think I might be pickier with the projects I choose. Maybe a few more indies. I think I’ve got one more of the superhero ones to do before my contract with them is up, but after that… I don’t know.”
“I was surprised you were able to do Llewelyn,” Jason said. He was leaning against another part of the counter and holding his own coffee mug, which I noticed had little D20 dice all over it in different coloured pride flags. “I thought you’d be off doing movie shoots all year.”
“I did too, but we don’t start filming my next one until November and we should finish with Llewelyn by September.
And luckily the next franchise one is doing some of the filming in Scotland, so if we need to do any reshoots, I can drive down.
And if we get a second season, I’ll make it work.
I’m having a lot of fun with Llewelyn, and I don’t want to give it up.
It’s the first time I’ve enjoyed doing a project for years. ”
“I hope you get a second season too. I’ll get everyone round here to watch it and I’ll keep replaying it so you get good viewing figures. Maybe Lewis can talk to Edward about doing a cosplay from it too…”
“Kane does have some lovely costumes. A lot of the time he’s more casual, at least for the period, because he’s an artist, but there’s this one episode when we’re hosting a ball…
” I had a sudden realisation and snickered.
“But you might want to stop watching after the second ball scene or you’re going to see some very spicy things and I’m not sure you want to watch me faking multiple orgasms.”
Jason practically choked on his coffee, a stream of it gushing out of his nose. “What the fuck? Henry!”
“At least I warned you! Oh, there’ll be a couple of other episodes you’ll want to avoid too. Actually, it’s more like bits of every episode. It’s gorgeously sexy—it’s what I’ve wanted for years, a queer period drama with plenty of spice. I’m even getting my butt out.”
“Who’s getting their butt out?” asked a new voice, and I turned to see Lewis standing in the kitchen doorway with an amused smile and a paper bag I hoped was full of pastries.
He was a petite man with bright pink hair, and he was wearing a lavender vest top under a denim jacket, artfully ripped jeans, and pink socks with kitten faces on the toes.
I guessed it wasn’t quite warm enough for Lewis to start wearing his iconic tiny shorts and knee-high socks.
“Me,” I said.
“Is that now or in the future?” Lewis asked before walking over to put the bag down and pulling me into a hug.
“It’s for this new show I’m filming. It’s very sexy.”
“That sounds fun. We’ll have to watch it.”
“No, we’re definitely not,” Jason said as Lewis let me go. “I draw the line at seeing my brother’s ass on screen.”
“It’s just a butt,” I said. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before. We used to share a bath, remember?”
“Fine,” Jason said. “Then I draw the line at watching my brother shag people on screen.”
“It’s all fake,” I pointed out. “And we have a very lovely intimacy co-ordinator called Tori.”
“That doesn’t make it better! I don’t need to watch you have fake orgasms!”
“Just how steamy is this show?” Lewis asked, sounding delighted and intrigued. He grinned at me as he reached into the cupboard to pull out a mug of his own, which was bright pink to match his hair.
“If a ten is porn, then this is like a six or a seven? Think Bridgerton levels of sexy but gay,” I said. I didn’t mind telling them some of the details because I trusted them not to tell anyone. They both understood when confidentiality was needed, and I didn’t even have to ask.
“Okay, that sounds fun. I’m definitely watching it,” Lewis said.
“Seriously?” Jason asked. “That’s my brother.”
“And? He’s an actor. It would be rude of me not to enjoy his work.”
“Exactly.” The conversation was doing a wonderful job of taking my mind off everything that had happened this week and providing me with a great source of amusement in the process.
After all, I wouldn’t be doing my brotherly duty if I didn’t wind Jason up occasionally, and he was so fun to tease.
“You said you wanted me to get a second season, which means we need good viewing figures, and you said you’d be happy to help with that. ”
“Yeah, but that was before I discovered you’d be getting your fucking ass out.”
“You can just go and make tea when we get to the sexy bits,” Lewis said, standing on tiptoes to kiss Jason softly. “I’ll tell you when it’s over.”
“I’ll be able to hear it,” Jason muttered.
“Stop grumbling,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s not that bad.”
“Have you told Mum yet?” Jason asked.
“Yes. She said it was nice to see me flexing my artistic wings and doing something different that I was enjoying.”
“You didn’t tell her about the fucking, did you?”
“Absolutely not. I know she’s open-minded but she’s our mother and there are some things I’d rather she didn’t see.”
“Aha! See! That’s my point,” Jason said, pointing his coffee mug at me. “Why is it different with Mum and not me?”
“You’re my brother. You’re meant to be supportive.”
“I don’t think you’re going to win this,” Lewis said as he reached into the paper bag and began to pull out some smaller bags from which he produced a delicious-looking selection of Danish pastries.
“I’m not, am I?” Jason asked. He sighed and picked up a glazed apple pastry. It made me think of Alex and the apple-and-miso one he’d recommended to me. I’d never gotten round to telling him how good it was.
I walked over and picked up one that had rhubarb in it, pulling my phone out of my pocket to snap a quick picture of it next to my mug. Now that I’d thought of Alex, I really wanted to talk to him. And since he’d given me his number, it would be silly of me not to make use of it.
Henry
I’m at Jason’s and I’ve got coffee and pastries. But neither of them is as good as yours.
Alex
That’s because that one has rhubarb in. Instant failure.
Henry
I’m guessing you don’t like rhubarb?
Alex
Nope, it’s stringy and disgusting. They used to do us rhubarb crumble at primary school and it was gross—it got stuck in my throat! I fucking hate it.
Henry
Good to know. I won’t bring you one back then.
Alex
I think it’d be a bit stale by whenever you get back.
Henry
Tomorrow night. I’ve got to be up at five on Monday =(
Alex
Sucks to be you then.
Henry
Your sympathy is noted.
“What are you smiling at?” Jason asked as he hovered beside me. “I’m assuming you’re not just taking random coffee photos to put on Instagram?”
“No,” I said, locking my phone before he could read over my shoulder. “Just messaging someone.”
“Oh? Someone I know?”
“Nope. Just a friend,” I said as I picked up my pastry and shoved half of it into my mouth.
I’d suddenly decided against telling the two of them about Alex, at least for another few weeks.
I wanted to give Alex a chance to get to know me and settle into this new reality, and I didn’t want to throw him in the deep end by announcing our “relationship” to all my friends and family like it was real.
I grimaced. Thinking that stung. I knew Alex didn’t want anything with me, or with anyone, but the more time I spent with him, the more I felt drawn to him. There was something about Alex that intrigued me and when we were together, it felt like I was being pulled towards him.
I didn’t know why Alex was so resistant, but there were brief moments when he seemed to drop his guard and everything felt so natural between us.
I wanted to ask him if there was a reason he was so closed off, but I didn’t think he’d answer me.
It felt like that was the secret Alex kept locked deep in his heart, and if he was ever going to tell me, he’d have to trust me first.
And there was no way I’d gain that trust by pushing him.
I’d run through a million reasons in my mind, but for the truth I’d have to be patient.
And I would be. Because I already knew Alex was special and he deserved to be loved. I just needed Alex to figure that out for himself.