Chapter Sixteen
Alex
“What are you doing now?” I asked Henry as we stepped out of The Sleeping Goose several hours later. Despite the fact it had been sheer bloody chaos, I was glad I’d introduced Henry to everyone.
Watching him relax over the course of the night as he’d chatted away to Oliver and Anders about book adaptations, Lane about music, and Spencer about football—he’d seemed to be genuinely over the moon to know that Spencer had once played for Greenwich Athletic—had settled something inside me.
I’d been worried that Henry wouldn’t fit or that the others would just see him as some God-tier celebrity and fall over themselves to impress him. And while they’d been shocked at first, that had quickly passed and they’d treated Henry just like any other bloke I might’ve brought along.
It made me wish he’d be sticking around.
“Not sure,” Henry said. “I should probably find some food. I didn’t get a chance to eat anything before I came since I basically rushed off set, threw some clothes on, and drove straight into town.”
“Why didn’t you bloody say something? We could’ve gotten you some food in the pub.”
Henry shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to make a fuss.”
“You’re a bloody idiot,” I said, shaking my head and instinctively grabbing his hand. Given the whole world would know in a few hours, it felt pointless to hide any more. I’d run out of fucks to give. “You can come back to mine and I’ll make you something.”
“Are you sure? It’s nearly eleven. Don’t you have to be up for work tomorrow?”
“Yeah, and? You do too.”
“That’s different,” Henry said with a frown as he attempted to plant his heels like a stubborn puppy. It was cute that he thought he could do that. But nobody was as belligerent, stubborn, and pigheaded as me.
“Why?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “It just is. I’m just used to running on little sleep. It’s just part of the job.”
“It’s part of mine too. And I’m not having a fucking argument about it in the middle of the bloody high street. Let’s go.” I tugged his hand and started walking. Like I’d predicted, Henry followed me.
We walked in silence along the front for a moment, accompanied only by the sound of the sea washing up against the shore.
“You know,” Henry said as we passed the row of shops and takeaways, most of which were shutting up for the night.
There was hardly anyone around and nobody was paying us any attention. “You’re kinda hot when you’re bossy.”
“Don’t start,” I said, even though his words sent heat running through me.
“Why not? Am I not allowed to give you compliments?”
“It’s not that.”
“Do you not like me calling you hot?”
“It’s… not that either,” I said begrudgingly. I didn’t want to admit that I liked Henry finding me attractive, even if it baffled me. With everyone in the world he had to choose from, why would he think I was good-looking?
“Oh, so you like me calling you hot?” Henry asked, the note of delight ringing clear as a bell. “Good, I’ll start doing it more often.”
“Why?”
“Why what? Why would I say you’re hot?”
“Yeah,” I said. “And why do you want to keep saying it?”
My heart was thundering in my chest, louder than anything else around me. The rest of the world was reduced to nothing but a muffled hum, like I’d been stood next to a speaker at a concert for too long and then gone outside.
“Because you are.” Henry stopped walking and gently pulled me to face him.
“Look, I know this is just fake and you don’t want anything from me.
But you’re gorgeous, Alex, and I want you to know that.
If you never want me to say it again, I won’t, but I can’t deny that I think you’re attractive.
Fuck, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.
I know you don’t believe me either, which is why I want to keep saying it.
I want to say it every day, over and over, until you realise I’m not fucking around. ”
“Henry,” I said, my voice cracking as a swell of emotion threatened to carry me away like I was caught in a riptide. “Don’t. Please.”
“Why not?”
“Because… I can’t. I can’t do this… I can’t let myself…”
Henry stepped closer, one hand wrapping around my waist to stop me from running. The other gently lifted my chin until I couldn’t avoid looking into his eyes. I was so sure I’d see a lie waiting for me, a teasing game waiting to trip me up. But all I saw was the truth. “Why not?” Henry asked again.
“Because you’ll just leave,” I said quietly. “Everyone leaves me. Noah, Spencer, Lane, Michael… and I’ll just end up alone again, like I always do. It’s better not to start anything because then I can’t get hurt.”
“That’s just bollocks.” Henry scoffed. “Not letting anyone in just in case they hurt you? Come on, even I know that’s bullshit and I’m horrible at relationships.
I’m the first person to do a runner when things start looking serious, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to try.
You can’t shut the whole world out, because that’s going to hurt as much as letting people in.
People move on, relationships end, and friendships change—that’s just a fact of life.
And yes, it hurts like fuck when they do, especially if it was unexpected.
But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying.
You’re not meant to be alone, Alex. Please don’t push me away because you’re scared something might change one day.
Because I think you’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met, and I want this to be real. ”
I didn’t know what to say. Everything felt right and wrong all at the same time, like I’d been twisted up inside some fucking Picasso painting.
Henry admitting he was usually the first person to leave should have made me walk away then and there, but there was something about his brutal honesty that was refreshing.
He knew he wasn’t perfect, he knew things were hard and it was easy to get hurt, and I liked that much more than someone waxing lyrical about how everything was going to be unicorns and rainbows, like the sun shone out their fucking arse.
Henry was watching me, waiting for me to say something… anything… but I didn’t have any words.
So I did the only logical thing I could think of.
I kissed him.
Henry’s lips were softer than they had any right to be and smelt like peaches, probably from the Chapstick I’d seen him using a couple of times.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d kissed anyone, and panic flashed through me when he didn’t respond.
Had I totally fucked this up? Was I the worst kiss he’d ever had?
Fuck, should I have asked first? That was it.
Who the fuck did I think I was to kiss him without asking?
Then Henry’s hand cupped the back of my neck, keeping me close to him as he returned my kiss with so much force and passion I felt like I’d been swept out to sea.
I was putty in his hands, and while part of me resented him for being able to do that with a single kiss, the rest of me didn’t give a flying fuck.
Henry released me gently and I tried to pretend my world wasn’t spinning. I wasn’t some swooning, naive hero from one of his films—one kiss wasn’t going to make all thought and sense leave my head.
I swallowed, trying to think of something say. “So… er… maybe I want that too. Yeah… I think I do.” Henry smiled. Thank fuck I didn’t have to try and win him over with some eloquent speech because I’d be screwed.
“I… Look, I can’t promise I’ll be a good boyfriend.
I’ll probably be a bit shit to be honest. And I have no idea what I’m doing either—I’m used to it just being me.
I’m stubborn, annoying, and kind of a dick.
But… you make me want to try. So I will.
Because you’re annoying as fuck, and absolutely ridiculous, and anyone else like you would drive me up the fucking wall.
But it’s you, Henry, and apparently that means I don’t mind as much.
So, yeah… shit, this probably sounds like total bollocks, doesn’t it? ”
“No,” Henry said, reaching down to take my hand and squeeze it. “It sounds like you. And I’m taking all of it as a compliment.”
“Good,” I said with a nod. “Because it is one. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“Does this mean you think I’m sexy too?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes and grinning at me like a fucking Cheshire cat.
“I suppose.”
“Only suppose?”
“Yes, fine. You’re hot as fuck. Happy now?”
“Yes,” he said, pulling me back in for another kiss. This one was slow and languid, like he was taking the time to memorize what my lips felt like against his. It made my insides flutter.
“We should stop making out in the middle of the road,” I said when I eventually took a step back. “I know everything’s coming out tomorrow anyway but I’d rather not have a photo of us sucking face on the front of the Daily Mail.”
Henry laughed. “At least it’s dark and nobody can see us unless they’re looking out their window with binoculars.”
“You underestimate Heather Bay’s gossip network of old people,” I said.
“They know fucking everything that goes on here. I swear if they’re not looking out their windows, they’ve got those doorbell cameras or something.
Whenever they come into Novel Tea for their book club, they spend half their time gossiping about what everyone else is up to. ”
Henry laughed and we started walking again, hand in hand. “I think that’s just old people everywhere. Or just people. Film sets are always a hotbed of gossip—you spend enough time around the people in hair and makeup or some of the gaffers and techs, and you’ll know everything.”
“Do they know about us?” I didn’t know why I was nervous about that idea. I’d been going up to the castle virtually every day that week to take Henry and his friends lunch, but somehow I hadn’t considered it would mean the whole set would know about our relationship.
“I assume so,” he said. “But probably through word of mouth. I’ve not told anyone apart from Cas, Kane, Tasmin, Gemma, and Jenny.
But I’m guessing all the directors and senior staff do.
And since you’ve been coming up most days, I’m sure someone’s put two and two together—I should probably say something formal tomorrow just to give them a heads-up. I’m sorry, does that upset you?”
“No, it’s just… weird. It’s one thing for me to have a boyfriend, and it’s another for it to be someone like you. You’re, like… the total opposite of me.”
“I’m sorry,” Henry said. He sounded oddly sad about it and I suddenly remembered what he’d told me about Emma.
“Hey,” I said. “That’s on me, not you. You being a fucking Hollywood sex god is not a problem. I just need to wrap my head around it—mostly because I’m still not sure why the fuck you’d want me.”
We’d reached the door to the house where my flat was and as I stopped to dig my keys out my pocket, Henry put his arms around me. “Simple, you’re very sexy, and you’re the only man—who I wasn’t related to or already taken—to tell me no.”
“I rejected you, and that turned you on?” I laughed.
“I wouldn’t say turned me on,” Henry said, but he was laughing too. “I’d say intrigued me.”
“You’re basically just a puppy who doesn’t like being told no. I shouldn’t have said yes. I’ve just rewarded you for bad behaviour.”
Henry kissed the side of my neck and made my skin tingle. “I like being rewarded, though. I promise I’ll be good.”
My cock throbbed in my jeans, and it was all I could do not to palm it. “Don’t start,” I said, my voice coming out as a low rumble.
“Why not?”
“Because I promised to feed you, not fuck you.” I opened the door to the building and Henry followed me inside.
“You could do both?”
“I could. But I’m not going to.”
“Then food will be just fine,” Henry said as we climbed the stairs. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“It’s fine,” I said, sorting through my keys to find the one to the front door. “It’s been a while, but I’m not totally opposed. I think I just need a little bit of time first, if that’s okay? I’ve apparently got a boyfriend now, and I need to wrap my head around that first.”
“Of course.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do things.” I knew I sounded awkward as fuck as I tried to figure out a way to tell Henry I still wanted to make out with him and shit, but I didn’t know if I wanted to fuck him—at least not tonight.
Henry caught me around the waist as we reached the top of the stairs and pulled me round to face him.
“Alex, we can go at whatever pace you want. There’s no right or wrong answer here.
It’s whatever we’re both comfortable with.
If that means you want to have sex tonight, then that’s fine, and if you want to wait, that’s also fine.
I’m not going to judge you. Just keep the line of communication open, okay?
Or I’ll be forced to interrogate you until you tell me. ”
“And how exactly would you do that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, probably just follow you round and ask you questions until you give in. Maybe sing them at you?”
“You know that’ll just annoy the fuck out of me?”
“I know, that’s why I’ll do it. Because then you’ll get so annoyed you’ll tell me to make me shut up.” He gently tapped the tip of my nose and then leant forward to nudge my nose with his. “I’ve thought of everything.”
“Everything, huh?”
“Everything.”
I kissed him softly, enjoying the warmth spreading through me. I was already in over my head, but tonight I couldn’t bring myself to care. Because yeah, Henry was annoying, but he was my kind of annoying. And I liked that about him.