Chapter Nine
Laurie
“I want to email West.”
We were sat on the sofa on Sunday morning eating breakfast, which today consisted of crispy bacon sandwiches on thick slices of soft bread. Theo had, unsurprisingly, drenched his in tomato sauce, which dripped onto his plate and made it look like an accessory to murder.
“Okay,” I said, looking over at him and pushing down the screaming voice that said this was a bad idea. It was Theo’s life and I couldn’t interfere. All I could do was be here to support him, whatever happened. “Do you want to do it today?”
Theo looked at me in surprise, ketchup clinging to the corner of his mouth, like he’d expected me to argue with him or try and talk him out of it. “Yeah, I think so. Before I change my mind.”
“If you do, then that’s fine. You can write the whole email and choose not to hit send. Nobody will know.”
“I’ll know,” he said quietly. “I just… I want to give West a chance. I’m not expecting miracles, he could be a complete dickhead for all I know, but he went to all the effort of finding my details just to say hey and I can’t hate him for that.”
“As long as you’re doing this for you, not him.”
“I am.” Theo licked the ketchup off his lips before adding, “I’ve been thinking about it all week and I want to know more.
I wanna know why he reached out and what he’s expecting.
And I’ve gotta ask what his favourite zombie movie is, because if it’s not Head Shot or Zombie Crocodile, then we definitely can’t be friends. ”
I chuckled. “Head Shot I can agree with, but Zombie Crocodile is an objectively terrible film.”
“I know! That’s what makes it so great. I mean, it’s fucking zombie crocodiles killing people in the middle of the swamps—it was never going to be good, but the best zombie films are the really cheesy ones with shitty special effects.
” He beamed at me but there was a mischievous spark in his eyes that told me arguing with him was pointless.
Theo was looking for an outlet for his stress, which meant he was going to be a brat all day.
If he was my boyfriend, I’d have numerous solutions to deal with his behaviour. But since we were just friends, it cut my list in half.
There was one option, though, but I was hesitant to suggest it. I wasn’t sure if it would cross the boundaries of our relationship by more than was sensible. If it helped Theo, though…
“I’m glad you enjoyed it at least,” I said. “And hopefully West will have too, although he might not have seen it.”
“Pfft, then I’ll just get him to watch it.”
I smiled, glad to see he was already thinking in his normal Theo way—where things happened the way he wanted. “Perhaps you could swap recommendations?”
“Maybe,” Theo said, wrinkling his nose. “But what if he recommends things that are shit?”
“How do you know they’re shit if you haven’t watched them?”
“But what if I have watched them and they’re shit?”
“Then you can politely tell him that it wasn’t for you,” I said firmly. “You are an adult, and you know how to use your words. And if West enjoys something you don’t, it still tells you a lot about him as a person.”
“I suppose.” He put his now-empty plate on the sofa and folded his arms, pouting slightly. “But he’d still be wrong.”
“Theo,” I said, unable to stop the warning note in my voice. “Don’t be rude.”
“I’m not being rude. I’m being right.”
I raised my eyebrow at him. “Opinions about zombie movies are not something one can be wrong or right about, unless someone loves something that is incredibly problematic. You can’t dictate what films people do or don’t like, and the same goes for things like books, music, video games, food, drink, clothes, and sport.
And while some people may be dicks about that opinion, you should not be one of them. ”
I knew he was stressed, because he was pushing back and arguing, trying to vent his emotions without actually acknowledging and dealing with them.
“You’re so mean! Why are you being so mean?”
“I’m not being mean.” I looked at him carefully, noting the tension in his muscles and the distinctive, bratty pout.
“Theo, I know this situation is stressful and you’re worried about how it will turn out, but please don’t take your frustration out on me.
I’m not going to accept you being rude to me all day. ”
Theo stared at me, a mixture of emotions rushing across his face.
At first, I thought he was going to argue with me.
Then it looked like he might cry, and eventually his face crumpled.
“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m on the world’s biggest, most horrible roller coaster and I can’t get off.
I want to write the email, but I don’t even know where to start and every time I think about it my insides get all twisted and wiggly. ”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I promise, it’s going to be okay.
I can understand why you’re stressed. I…
” I hesitated for a moment as fear and doubt crept into the edges of my mind.
I was about to cross another of the blurred lines between us and I should have wanted to give it more thought, but Theo was hurting and in need, and I’d do anything to help him.
“I might have a solution for you but it’s different. ”
“Different?” Theo asked, tilting his head to one side. “How? Are you going to spank me or something? I’ve heard some people find that helps.”
“No, I’m not going to spank you.” Although I wouldn’t have been opposed to seeing Theo with a pretty pink backside, my handprints standing out on his skin. But that felt like it would be going too far, at least for today.
“Oh…” He almost sounded disappointed and my cock twitched with interest in my pyjamas. I swallowed and tried to ignore the rising heat inside me. “What’re you going to do then?”
“I’d like to tie you,” I said. “Nothing extreme, just your wrist or your ankle. I think it’ll help ground you and keep you focused, or at least help you to know I’m here with you.”
“Ohhh, like a rope tie? It’s called shibari, right?” There was an intrigued note in his voice and a smile playing across his lips.
“Yes. To both of your questions.”
“I didn’t know you were into that.”
I shrugged, because while Theo had always been incredibly open about his sex life, I’d always been a bit more secretive about mine.
Things like shibari weren’t exactly something I could usually practice with someone I’d picked up off Grindr, but occasionally when Theo had been away for the weekend, I’d found someone to play with.
I’d never brought anyone home while Theo was here because that felt disrespectful and rude, and it had become something of an unspoken agreement between us never to have guests over when the other was home.
“I discovered it at university,” I said. “It intrigued me, so I began teaching myself. There’s a lot of information out there and I found some experienced riggers to talk to. I’ve always found it very soothing. There’s just something so beautiful about it.”
Theo held out his wrists, his hands facing upwards, and extended them out to me. “Tie me. Please.”
His words sent a rush of yearning racing through me, and I hadn’t realised how long I’d wanted to hear him say them.
I’d always tried to keep myself from imagining what Theo might look like in rope, what ties I’d love to see him in, but in the dark recesses of the night when sleep wouldn’t come, I’d found myself daring to dream.
I’d told myself countless times it was never going to happen, that I would never jeopardise our friendship like that, but perhaps this time it would be possible to have my cake and eat it too.
“Of course,” I said, reaching out to take one of his hands in mine. His skin was so soft and warm and I couldn’t resist raising his wrist to my lips to press a kiss to his pulse point. “Come with me.”
I led Theo into my room and left him standing by the bed while I walked over to my wardrobe and reached into the back, looking for a box I’d only opened once.
It was a selection of soft, pastel-coloured ropes that I’d seen advertised on a rigger’s Instagram and I’d known as soon as I saw them that I had to have them. Just in case.
I found the box tucked away at the back, balancing on a basket of shoes, and carried it over to the bed.
“I’m just going to do something simple this time,” I reiterated as I put the box down and opened the lid, revealing its beautiful pastel-coloured contents to Theo.
His eyes went wide, lighting up in delight at the sight of them.
Just like I’d dreamed they would.
“Oh, Laurie, they’re so pretty! I love them!”
“They are.”
He frowned. “Have you used them before? It doesn’t look like you’ve taken them out of the box.”
“No,” I said, hoping my cheeks wouldn’t flame and give me away. “I bought them a while ago because I thought they were beautiful but… I hadn’t found anyone I wanted to use them on until now.”
Theo looked at me like he was trying to peer into my soul, but all he did was smile brightly and say, “I’m so excited. Can I choose my colour?”
“You can.” There were five different colours—pink, purple, blue, green, and yellow—and I’d ordered them each in two different lengths so I had plenty of options to play with.
Theo peered into the box, pursing his lips together as he thought carefully. It was adorable to see him put so much consideration into it. “Purple, please.”
“Of course,” I said, lifting the five-metre piece of soft bamboo rope out of the box.
Bamboo was a softer type of rope than hemp or jute, which made it well suited to things like bedroom bondage, floor work, and gentle shibari, and perfect for this occasion.
“Which arm would you like this on? I’d suggest your right because you’ll see and notice it more.
And if you decide you like one, I can do the other arm in another colour. ”
“Right sounds good,” Theo said. He glanced down at his pyjamas. “Do you want me to get naked?”
I chuckled softly. “Darling, you’re wearing a vest top and booty shorts. It’s not like your wrists and forearms aren’t exposed and you’ll still be able to get changed afterwards.”
“That’s a very long way of saying you don’t want to see me naked.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. I’ve watched you bathe often enough, and you’re not exactly shy about wandering around the flat completely starkers.”
Theo grinned. “I like being naked. It feels good.”
“Hold out your arm,” I said, drawing the conversation back to the task at hand before Theo completely derailed it.
He did as he was told, lifting and extending his right hand.
I already knew the purple was going to look beautiful against his lightly tanned skin.
“Thank you. I’m going to do something called a continuous reverse gauntlet.
It’ll run a little way up your forearm, and it’ll be snug but not too tight. ”
I folded the rope in half and wrapped it around Theo’s slim wrist, making a Lark’s head knot and pulling the tail gently to form tension before I began to wrap the rope around his wrist in the other direction.
These gauntlets were a relatively simple tie but it was the first one I’d done in a while.
A sense of calm descended upon me as I worked, going backward and forward across Theo’s arm, occasionally checking the tension and making sure I could comfortably slip two fingers under the strands.
“How does it feel?” I asked as I threaded the rope through a new loop I’d made. I was about halfway through the rope now and the distinctive pattern of the gauntlet had formed, with its waved line of knots along the inside of his arm.
“It’s… perfect,” Theo said softly, and when I glanced up, his eyes were fixed on his arm, gazing at the gauntlet with something akin to awe. “I love it.”
“It’s not too tight?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It feels nice. Really nice. Like… like you’re holding my arm.”
I smiled, another wave of affection sweeping over me. “Good, I’m glad.”
“I really like it,” he said. “It’s pretty too. Can you do both of them, please? And can I have the other one in blue?”
“Of course.”
“What other ones can you do?” Theo asked as I continued the tie.
I was starting to come to the end of the rope now and looking to tie it off.
There were a few ways to do it, but I was just going to run the remainder of the tail under the strands of the gauntlet back towards the wrist. It would make it very easy to remove later.
“I can do this on your ankles and calves too,” I said. “And beyond that, I can do lots of things. I haven’t done a lot of suspension—it takes a lot more practice and I’ve never had both the space and a partner I trust.”
I didn’t want to overwhelm Theo with options, but I also wanted to keep some knowledge for myself. Just in case I ever wanted to surprise him.
Theo didn’t say anything and when I glanced up at his face again, he looked calm and relaxed, the way I’d hoped he would.
“There,” I said as I tucked the last strand into place. “All done with number one.”
“Thank you,” Theo said, looking at me with a reverent expression I’d rarely seen him wear. “I love it.”
“Would you still like the other one done?”
“Yes, please.” He held out the other hand as I reached into the box for the blue rope. “And after this, will you help me email West, please?”
I nodded and smiled as I folded the baby blue rope in half. “Of course, my darling. Of course.”