Chapter Eleven
Bastian
I’d never had a journey take as long as my drive back to Heather Bay.
Every mile seemed to crawl past at a snail’s pace despite the fact that the roads were clear and the weather was good.
My desperation to get back to Anders meant I checked the arrival time on the SatNav every thirty seconds, then grumbled to myself when it wasn’t any sooner.
Anders had said to turn up whenever I wanted, and it had taken all my self-control not to leave Derbyshire at six in the morning.
It had only been two weeks since I’d last seen him, but it had felt like years, and although work had been very busy, I’d been mopey and dejected whenever I didn’t have to be in business mode.
Shooting weddings when I felt like this had been a hideous experience because my heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest every time I saw the happy couples, but I’d done my best to hide it.
They definitely didn’t need to be subjected to my relationship woes on the happiest days of their lives.
But I had talked Milo’s ear off about it while tramping around the grounds of Moorely House with him strapped to my chest. He was a good listener, and I knew he wouldn’t rat me out to his parents or try and give me advice.
Instead, he’d just giggled and tried to pull the string on my hoodie.
I’d given him a biscuit for his troubles, then cleaned the mashed-up remains off the kitchen floor.
It was just after half ten when I found myself cruising over the rolling hills of the Yorkshire Moors and following the winding path to the coast. My excitement rose with every twist in the road, and I let out a squeak I was very glad nobody else could hear as soon as I saw the glittering line of the sea on the horizon.
I did a little happy dance in my seat and tapped my hands on the steering wheel as I crested another hill and saw Heather Bay laid out before me.
The knot that had been sitting in my chest since I’d driven away two weeks ago began to ease, and I felt like I could finally breathe again.
I followed the road down into town, then up again as I headed for Anders’s house.
He’d invited me to stay ‘for a bit’, and when I’d pushed him on what that actually meant—so that I’d know how much to pack—he’d said maybe we could start with a week, but I was welcome to stay longer if I wanted.
I’d tried to temper my giddy excitement and my urge to shove all my worldly possessions into my car with the knowledge that this might not work out, and that Anders was being sensible to suggest a week but leave it open-ended.
If it did last longer than a week, I’d have to leave a couple of times anyway because I had a couple of shoots booked.
Plus, I had work to do while I was with Anders, so it wasn’t like we were going to be spending every minute together.
This stay would give us a real opportunity to see how we’d get on if we lived together, which was both extremely exciting and terrifying at the same time.
What if we fought over everything and whatever we had came crumbling down around us?
I knew the honeymoon period was a thing, but Anders was used to being on his own, and I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about suddenly having another person in his space, even if that person was me.
We wouldn’t know unless we tried, and fretting about it would probably make it worse. Even if that was all I wanted to do.
It didn’t take me long to find the house, and I parked the car in one of the free spots along the road.
Anders said he had a spare permit I could use.
I bounced out of the car and grabbed my bag before heading for the front door.
I could get my suitcase in a minute when I put the parking permit in the car.
I’d barely knocked before the door swung open, and my heart leapt at the sight of Anders in a pair of old jeans and a thick jumper with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
As soon as he saw me, he smiled. It was a rare and precious sight that made every ache I’d ever felt melt away.
Then he wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me, and it felt like I’d come home.
“What are your plans for today?” I asked Anders as we strolled hand in hand along the beach.
It was three days after I’d arrived in Heather Bay, and we were just starting to feel out a routine that wasn’t spending as much time as possible in bed.
Because while that might be a truly delightful way to pass the days, we both had work we needed to do.
I’d spent yesterday afternoon editing some wedding photos, answering emails, and filling up my calendar while Anders worked on his next book.
He’d offered me space in his office, but I’d declined in favour of his dining room table.
I was sure he had his own method of working, and I didn’t want to disturb that.
Besides, I liked to spread out and listen to drum and bass at a ridiculous volume in my enormous headphones, and I was pretty sure I chair danced too.
I’d be a fucking pain in the ass to work near.
If this did end up being a long-term thing, we’d both need our own space. And I was perfectly content to claim the dining room table and leave Anders his office.
“I want to do some writing,” Anders said. “When I’m working on a book, I like to do two thousand words a day, five days a week. It doesn’t always work out—”
“Especially when there’s someone distracting you.” I grinned, remembering all the ways I’d distracted Anders over the past few days.
“Exactly. But I’ve got time. It’s not due until August.”
“That’s ages away,” I said. “Plenty of time for more distracting.”
“True. But I would like to get it written. I hate rushing at the end.” He squeezed my hand. “But once I’ve got my words done, I’m all yours.”
“Good! While you write I’ll get some more editing done.
I’ve got the Cole-Miller wedding to finish, then I’ve got to start the Palmer one.
I need to get a shot list for the Gregor wedding in a couple of weeks too.
” Right now, the weddings were fairly steady, but soon everything would start ramping up for the summer when I’d be shooting three or four weddings a week.
Sometimes more. And when I added cosplay and fantasy shoots to the mix, I was about to enter several months of chaos.
It happened every year, and while I always thought I was prepared, by the time it got to mid-July, I felt like an exhausted, headless chicken.
“Just let me know if you need anything,” Anders said.
“I will.” We walked a little farther along the sand as the spring sunshine warmed our faces.
Today the sea was a rich grey-blue with foaming edges that lapped against the shore, bringing in smooth pebbles that glistened in the light.
We’d come down every day since I’d arrived, and I already understood why Anders loved it.
I wanted to watch the seasons pass from the shore, to watch the sky and sea change from winter storms that shook the world to balmy summer days that made everything stand still.
“I wanted to ask,” Anders said as we reached the other end and began to climb the ramp to visit the little coffee hut that sat at the top, which was barely big enough for two or three people to stand inside.
“How would you feel, at some point, about me converting a room into a studio for you?” I stared at him, not quite processing what he’d said.
Anders’s face wrinkled slightly, which seemed to be the way he expressed embarrassment.
He got grumpy to cover it up. “Sorry, I don’t want to rush you.
I just figured you might like something better than the table. Ignore me.”
“I’m not going to ignore you,” I said, poking him in the ribs and sticking my tongue out.
“You’re not rushing me. It’s very sweet of you actually.
” There was something about the way he was already carving out room for me in his heart and home that made my chest tighten.
I knew my brother had offered something similar, but this felt different in a way I couldn’t quite explain.
It had something to do with the sense of belonging that was blooming deep inside me.
“Sure? I know you said August offered you a wing.”
I shrugged, trying to put my feelings into words. “I know, but I was never going to stay there. It didn’t feel right.”
I left it unspoken that being in Heather Bay did because it didn’t need to be said.
April showers splattered my windscreen as I turned the car onto the road up to the house. I’d been away shooting the Gregor wedding in York for two days, and although it had been excellent, I was tired and just wanted to curl up in my own bed with my man and the cats and sleep for the whole day.
I wasn’t sure when Anders’s bed—or his house for that matter—had started to feel like mine, but somehow it did.
It felt like everything I’d ever wanted had suddenly begun to click into place, like I’d finally started to see the picture on a two-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle.
I kept telling myself I needed to talk to Anders about what we were doing because while he’d originally said we’d start with a week and see where we ended up, it had now been closer to three weeks.
I parked the car and climbed out into the rain, grabbing as much as I could carry and doing my best to shield my camera bags.
The front door swung open as I reached it, and I wondered how Anders had known it was me.
But whatever magic he seemed to possess didn’t faze me because I was just glad to be back.
“Hey,” he said, giving me a soft kiss and relieving me of my bags. “I missed you.”
My heart clenched because this was truly everything I’d been searching for. I just wanted to know it would last, that the novelty wouldn’t wear off and I’d be out on my own again, still drifting from place to place as I searched for somewhere I belonged.
“I missed you too. I know it was only two days, but it’s good to be back.”
“Good.” Anders pulled me into a hug, and I breathed in the smell of the sea that clung to him. “Fish missed you too. She’d never admit it, but she slept on your pillow and kept looking out the window for you.”
“Oh?” Over the past few weeks, Fish had graciously accepted me into her space but had largely ignored me while Barney had taken great delight in trying to sit on both my lap and my laptop while I worked, demanding endless amounts of my attention.
“Yeah. I think she likes you.” He smiled softly.
“I’m glad,” I said, “because I like her too.” I kissed Anders softly again, melting into his arms. Two days had felt like a lifetime, and I needed to feel Anders inside me—to feel like I belonged there, with him. “Do you want to go upstairs?”
The heat in Anders’s touch needed no response.