Chapter 2
Fenris
I didn’t make a habit of coercing overworked healers out of their safe space for a night of fun with the pack. If she wanted to hide away in that tiny office and waste her life doting on everyone else, who was I to tell her otherwise?
But I cared about Wyn. I had ever since we were pups, and she’d trail after Mill and me with her big smile and her halo of curly hair, unruly and wild around her face.
She was as much a part of my family as my little sister, Lyra, and I looked after my family.
Especially when they didn’t have anyone else to take care of them.
She’d been right. Mill was off honeymooning with his new mate, and their little brother, Caelum, had his own shit to deal with.
Being a newly transitioned wolf in his mid-twenties meant he cared more about sliding in between a female’s legs than he did about making sure his sister stayed healthy, which left it to me.
Wyn and I were alike in that way. We threw ourselves in front of bullets to protect those we loved, often at the expense of our own well-being. And if she was busy caring for everyone else in the pack, it made me wonder who was taking care of her.
“There he is!” Our sergeant at arms, Moose, said as he wrapped an arm over my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. He already smelled like whiskey and cigars, which told me the party was in full swing.
“How ya’ doing, old man?” I asked with a laugh.
Moose wasn’t much older than me, but I liked to tease him.
“Hanging in there.” He patted my shoulder and handed me a red plastic cup with a few inches of amber liquor at the bottom. “Here. Drink up.”
I took a sip and glanced around. An enormous fir tree sat in the corner of the rec room, decorated with sparkling lights and glittering ornaments.
Handcrafted snowflakes made by the pups hung around the space, and garland accents made the place feel even more homey.
Cinnamon and nutmeg wafted through the air, complemented by the smoky aroma of the roaring fire under the mantle at the far side of the room.
Children ran and played while the adults laughed and drank and touched.
This was what I lived for. This cozy atmosphere was what I’d sworn to keep safe.
“Happy Yule, Fenris,” Maeve said, walking up to my side so she could pull me into a hug.
Mill stalked behind her, his careful gaze never leaving her.
Of course, he didn’t have to be so protective here at the homestead, but these mated males were a force unto themselves.
He’d never let her be far from his side.
“Happy Yule, Maeve,” I said and returned the embrace before yanking my buddy into a tight squeeze. “You too, Mill.”
He groaned at the attention but allowed the contact before pushing me away with a scoff. I laughed and clinked my cup against his before taking another long sip.
“You see your sister this afternoon?” I asked.
“No.” He furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes with suspicion dancing behind them. “Why?”
I shrugged. “Just wondering.”
“She okay?” he asked.
“She hasn’t left the infirmary in days,” I replied.
He sighed. “I’ll say something to her.”
“Already did.” I smiled and did my best to look innocent. “I tried to get her to come out tonight. But she wasn’t having it.”
“Isn’t there another healer in the pack?” Maeve glanced between us. “It seems unfair that she carries such a burden.”
“That’s what I said.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “But you know how growly she can get. Practically terrifying.”
Mill smiled, and Maeve balked, and the festivities went on around us.
Kodiak gave a speech about the history of Yule, how our ancestors would have hunkered down in their dens to wait out the long night together, praying for the return of the sun in the morning.
We may have the safety of the homestead, but not much else had changed.
We were still family. We were still reliant on each other to defend what was ours.
We never understood that more than in moments like this, when we could be together and cherish our shared community.
I eyed Guin Vanderbilt off in a corner, standing with her sister, Sol, who had recently mated our vice president, Orion.
The Vanderbilts used to be our sworn enemies.
The blood feud dated back decades, a result of eye-for-an-eye nonsense that seemed to have no end.
But when Sol and Orion got together, it brought in a new age of reconciliation, much to the chagrin of Guin and Kodiak.
No one stood up to the alpha the way she did, no one who wanted to keep their head attached to their shoulders.
But secretly, I thought he liked it when she gave him shit.
Sometimes, she’d tell him off, and his eyes would glimmer like he wanted to bend her over the nearest surface and adjust her attitude with a steady hand and a few choice words. Those two were a ticking time bomb.
Speaking of, my wolf picked up a scent drifting through the space, oranges and coffee and soft feminine pheromones. His mouth watered, and when I looked at the entrance, I twisted my lips into a smile.
Wyn stood in a tight black dress with matching heels, her hair pulled back in a messy bun on the top of her head.
She’d tried to tame her curls, but bits still hung around her face as her bright brown eyes surveyed the room.
Maeve ran to her and hugged her before grabbing her hand to drag her into the revelry.
I couldn’t help but follow, practically stalking her into the crowd.
There was something about her scent that drew me in like it never had before, something delicious and paramount, something that made me want to fall to my knees and beg her to do whatever she wanted to me.
My inner beast licked its chops and whined, desperate to bury its head in her hair and breathe her in.
But she’d slap me if I even tried, and that thought sent an ache to my lower stomach, trickling down into my balls.
Just like no one talked to Kodiak the way Guin did, no one ignored me the way Wyn did. No matter what I did, no matter what I said, she saw right through me. And that only made me want her more.
“You made it,” I said when I saddled up behind her.
She looked over her shoulder and sighed. “Yes, well. When a dominant wolf insists I look like shit and my best nurse practically shoves me out the door, I figure I have little choice.”
“You don’t look like shit, Wyn,” I said, raking my gaze down her curves and back up again. “You look beautiful.”
She’d always been in great shape, and now that she was an adult, she’d filled out in all the right ways.
Her hips begged to be grabbed, and her thighs screamed to be wrapped around my head.
I pushed those thoughts away because she didn’t think of me like that, and she likely never would.
No matter how badly my wolf wanted things to be different.
Besides, Mill wouldn’t like me fucking around with his sister. No matter how long we’d been friends, Wyn was off-limits. Too good for me. Too pure to be sullied by my filthy paws. Too amazing to sink so low as to give me the time of day.
Up until recently, I’d agreed with him. But a few months ago, things shifted.
Maybe it was when I’d been torn open by those vampire pricks while trying to rescue Sol, and Wyn had stitched me back together.
Or perhaps it was when Mill had died and been brought back to life.
I’d discovered her sobbing in her office, having given so much magic and energy into resuscitating him, she’d exhausted herself.
I’d crouched beside her and held her through it, and together, we’d nursed him back to health.
It probably didn’t matter when it changed, only that it did, and now I couldn’t stop thinking about making sure she was safe.
Wyn’s cheeks flushed, and she glanced at the ground, her delectable aroma wafting in the space between us. “Always the charmer.”
“I promised you a good time, didn’t I?” I grinned and grabbed her drink to set it on a nearby table before taking her hand to tug her out to the dancefloor.
“Fen!” She squealed and protested, but when I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, she relaxed into the contact. “I’m not a good dancer.”
“Me neither,” I answered, tucking her body against mine. “No one cares.”
I swayed her to the sultry beat of a slow song on the sound system, brushing against the bodies of our pack members around us, doing the same thing.
“You clean up nice yourself,” she said, gesturing to the black button-down and trousers I’d put on to make myself presentable. The Yule party wasn’t a formal affair, but most of us tried to show up as our best selves, if only to show respect for our family and ancestors.
“I had the best date in the house,” I said. “I had to make sure I looked like I belonged at her side.”
“This isn’t a date,” she said, but that brush of pheromones drifted up between us in a subtle hint of her body betraying her. She shivered, and I pressed tighter against her, trying to use my heat to warm her.
“No, of course.” I swallowed the rejection boiling up my throat and pretended like it didn’t hurt. “This is just a friend making sure his buddy doesn’t work herself to an early grave.”
“Right,” she said. “Friends.”
The word hung between us as she glanced at me, her wide eyes even more entrancing as they reflected the glow of the tiny lights strung around us.
That connection hit me in the gut again, the one from earlier in her office.
Like there was so much more to say, so much more between us, but neither of us would utter it out loud.
Truth be said, I didn’t deserve her, and she’d done nothing to give me the slightest clue that she’d be open to me trying. But my wolf had her in his cross-hairs, and no matter how much I told him to drop it, he only clamped his teeth harder around the idea.
“So, as friends,” she started, “why did you ask me to come tonight? And none of that ‘when’s the last time you went out’ nonsense. There are a lot of females here who would throw themselves off a bridge to be on your arm.”
I laughed and shook my head. “I don’t know about that.”
She raised an eyebrow in an incredulous response. My fingers itched to soothe the crease in her forehead, to help her relax in any way I could.
I didn’t have a good excuse, only that something about her had recently drawn me in like a moth to a fire pit.
She seemed softer, needier, and my wolf demanded I be the one who provided.
I didn’t know why, but sometimes that was the way of shifters.
Our instincts pulled us in certain directions because we were meant to do whatever it was.
“I don’t know, Wyn,” I finally said. “Seemed like the right thing to do.”
I couldn’t tell her that my other half had been prodding me for weeks to do it. I couldn’t say that I’d developed this infatuation for her, and nothing else felt right in the world. I couldn’t say I saw no one looking out for her and had somehow made it my responsibility.
“Why?” She still seemed suspicious.
“As you said,” I answered, trying to carefully dance around the truth. “Mill is wrapped up in his new mate, and Caelum is…” I trailed off because we both knew what he was up to; it didn’t need to be spoken.
“You wanted to take me to the Yule party because of my brothers?” Both eyebrows raised this time, and she twisted her lips into a suspicious purse.
“What? No.” I scrambled to right the conversation. “I just…I don’t know. I just wanted to see you happy.”
She was about to ask me why, but the song changed, and one of the pups came up to our side and tugged on my shirt.
“Fen!” Jessi glanced up at me with big eyes and a huge smile. “Can I have a turn?”
They said it took a village to raise children, and in our pack, that adage rang true. While Jessi might technically belong to our enforcer’s sister, she was practically my niece.
“Of course.” I reluctantly stepped back from Wyn and scooped the little girl up, spinning her around while she laughed and dug her fingers into my shirt to hold on. “What’s a yule party without a dance with my best girl?”
Wyn graciously smiled and drifted to a corner to talk with Sol and Maeve while I held the kid on my hip and bounced around, doing anything I could to make her laugh. But only a few minutes in, she narrowed her tiny eyes at me and leaned in close to my ear.
“I saw you with Wyn,” she said. “Is she your mate?”
I shook my head. “No. Just a friend.”
I almost choked on the word.
“Hmm.” Jessi did not seem convinced. “You should bring her flowers and cookies and tell her how pretty she is.”
“Flowers and cookies, huh?”
“Yeah,” Jessi said. “That’s what Daddy does when Mommy’s mad at him. He says flowers mean he thought about her, and food is the way to every girl’s heart.”
I laughed. “You think that will do it, huh?”
Jessi eagerly nodded. “Wyn likes snickerdoodles the best.”
“How do you know?”
The little girl rolled her eyes. “She lets us pick out a cookie after we’re done with our check-ups. I always get chocolate chip, but she said the snickerdoodles are the best. Duh!”
“Stupid me, huh?” I tickled the little girl’s side while she kicked and squirmed away. I finished the song with her before she asked to be put down so she could run after her older brother. I waved to her parents as that decadent scent wafted over the space again. Citrus. Earthy. Female.
It caught my wolf’s notice, and I glanced over dancing bodies toward the corner where she’d been huddled with Maeve and Sol, only to find it empty. Where did she go?
Doesn’t matter.
My beast tracked her through the crowd, following the scent trail like a homing beacon out of the great room and into the hallway.
She’d gone right toward the door leading outside.
I went after her, instinct guiding me, telling me I needed to pay more attention.
I needed to care for her. No one else could. No one else would.
I didn’t know why I needed to do it, only that my inner beast wouldn’t let me give up until I had her in my clutches, until I had her pressed against me again.
I should have questioned that natural direction and dug a little deeper. But just like I always did, I dove headfirst into the situation and paid no mind to how deep the water was.