OZZY
I’ve never felt this way before. Finding out that one of my best friends – my fucking brother – has contributed to the sexual abuse of the love of my life, and he’s never said a word, is almost indescribable.
White-hot fury splinters through me every time I think about how he’s deceived us, and degraded her.
He knew who she was the second she got into this van with us all those months ago, and he knew she was available to view online, and never thought to bring it up.
I can feel the anger searing through my veins, and if it were an option, I’d snap his fucking neck without hesitation.
Betrayal isn’t something I’m familiar with, as I’ve only ever been close to these four men, and we’d never turn our backs on each other. It’s part of the oath we took, what it takes to put your trust in others when you’re out on the most dangerous of jobs. Doc ensured we could count on one another by creating something resembling a brotherhood, and now, I’ve just learned it means nothing.
A few pictures of a pretty girl on the internet are enough to unravel years of friendship, loyalty, and what I assumed was a lifelong bond.
I can’t think straight, his presence is driving me wild, and he’s probably thinking of a way to get off scot-free in this whole client list situation.
The guys are freaking out, and rightfully so, but Oliver shuts them all up, backing his leader. If there’s one thing about Oliver, he’s as loyal as they come, no matter who is in charge. Now that it’s Fallon, it’s even deeper than what he normally gives, because of their brother-sister dynamic.
Nothing is as strong as a sibling connection, or at least, nothing is supposed to be able to wedge between a bond like that.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, her eyes closed as her head rests on Oliver’s shoulder.
It’s already been a long morning, and when she doesn’t answer, I let her be, knowing our next destination is also a heavy matter of the heart for her.
“We missed it,” Lex blurts out, and everyone turns to face him, shocked faces throughout.
“How did we miss it? We have an hour,” Oliver says in a loud-whisper voice, attempting to keep Fallon comfortable.
I lean over, pulling her head from his shoulder into my arms, freeing him from her exhaustion.
She shimmies a little, attempting to get comfortable again, but once I begin to stroke her hair, she snuggles into me, that light snoring that I love so much taking over. She’s peaceful right now, and I don’t dare wake her.
After what we’ve been through already, delivering the news that she won’t be able to say a proper goodbye to Camila could very well send her into a spiral.
Even though they mended whatever happened between them, I know this will hurt her, missing out on the chance to say goodbye. Cami loved Fallon, and it may have been what destroyed their relationship, but Fallon loved Cami in her own ways, too.
She’ll never admit it, but she’s going to miss her.
Now that I think of it, the same can be said for Oliver, but he’ll never talk about something unless it’s truly bothering him.
It’s a twisted vortex, the two of them care for the same person in different ways, and I think the only people who can help them through it are each other.
“Are we going to talk about what happened back there? Did we get what we came for, at least?” Lex asks, and it snaps me out of my deep thoughts.
“Yes, we should have everything we need on that laptop. It’s a start,” I whisper, keeping Fallon tucked into my arms.
“What do you think she’ll want to do next?” Journey chimes in, looking back at us from the passenger seat.
“I’m not sure. She’s out for blood, and we’re not the ones with a ticking clock above our heads. At least not yet.”
“Our smartest play would be to go to Missouri. Work while we hunt him, just as we’ve been doing all this time. We can say we had a family emergency,” Lex offers, and I shake my head, unsure if it’ll work.
Mr. A. isn’t stupid, and none of us have ties to New Jersey, or anyone up North for that matter.
He has a point, it’ll buy us time, and maybe if we pitch it to Fallon she’ll jump on board. Her only mission is to find Mr. A.; if this is the best way, I’m sure she won’t object.
We haven’t talked about what happens next, and I have no idea what’s going on in her mind.
“Pepper is at the next gate, up here on the left,” Lex instructs, and I hold my breath, hoping the girl asleep on my chest stays that way.
At least until we reach our next hotel, and I can explain what happened with Cami.
I’m worried that she’ll be hostile, or even upset, about what we did today once she wakes up, and any other surprises could send her over the edge. She was calm and collected during the act like it was just another day at the office, and I’m afraid of what this will do to her psyche.
It’s not supposed to be easy, taking someone’s life, but so far, Fallon has played it off like it was no big deal.
I wouldn’t be doing right by her if I weren’t worried about her. As much as she’ll push back on me, it’s my responsibility to take care of her, to protect her, and even if that looks different than it used to, I’ll never stop making sure she’s okay.
Pepper climbs in, instantly given the signal to keep it down, and she settles in the back, whispering with Lex about Cami.
I let out a breath, resting my head on the window, but I feel Fallon moving beneath me, attempting to get closer.
“You think too much, baby. Your mind echoes into mine,” she whispers, and I can’t help the smile that crosses my lips.
“You can read my mind, can’t you, Bambi?” I tease, tickling the sacred spot beneath her ribs.
“Maybe, maybe not.”
“What am I thinking about, then, smart mouth?”
She’s quiet, but I can feel her lips curve into a smile against my chest, and I know the wheels are spinning in her head.
“Pinning me against a wall, ripping my clothes off … your hands on my body. Something along those lines.”
“ Bambi ,” I groan, ripping my hand through my hair as her words slowly work their way through my body, the heat pooling below my belt.
“Maybe those were my thoughts. But now, you’re thinking about them, too, aren’t you?” She asks, her fingers trailing under my shirt and across my stomach.
Her touch sends shockwaves through me, making it nearly impossible to breathe, but I welcome her hands on me – crave it , even.
“Be careful what you wish for,” I whisper, tilting her chin so she’s looking up at me.
She smiles, taking that as a challenge, and my heart nearly stops, her doe-like eyes filled with desire and lust.
“Alright, I’m done. Next hotel we see, we’re claiming it. Everyone okay with that?” Max asks, but no one objects, the tension building as we’ve all been cooped up for too long.
Just off the exit, we find another shitty motel, but I’ve grown accustomed to these places. Their cleanliness, or lack thereof, doesn’t bother me anymore.
“Meeting and dinner tonight. We need a new plan,” Fallon says as she comes from the lobby, keycards in hand.
“Got it, Boss.” Oliver salutes, slipping into his room.
Everyone fans out, following the signs to their own room numbers, and I follow Fallon’s lead, watching as she unlocks our door with shaky hands.
Our room is standard, with a king bed in the center, a bathroom, and a mini-fridge. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s perfect, as long as my girl is still with me.
I watch as she drops her bag on the floor, running her hands through her blood-soaked hair. She’s a mess, but it suits her.
I empty my pockets, dropping my wallet, blade, and spare shit onto the nightstand. It all lands with a thud, which catches Fallon’s attention.
“What do you need, my beautiful girl ?” I ask, her eyes trained on me, looking from my hands to my filthy shirt.
“I don’t even know. My mind is a war zone,” she whispers, stepping closer to me, her hands reaching for the blade on the table.
It’s back in the holster, but she slips it off, the blood still staining the metal, and she marvels at it, her body slightly trembling at the sight.
That blade – and the things we’ve done with it – are enough to send her into a heated spiral every chance she sees it or feels the handle graze her fingertips.
Muscle memory can be a beautiful thing.
Fallon is complex, yet simple, and I can read her like an open book. Watching her slowly fade into the things that turn her on is one of my favorite sights to see, and it’s happening right before my eyes.
Her eyes are glossy, and a slight smirk forms across her face, the ideas swirling around her head at a rapid pace. It’s subtle, but she begins to take slower breaths, inhaling deeper as the fire pools in her belly. Classically, she bites her lower lip, just slightly at first, her teeth only grazing the skin, but it’s enough to send goosebumps prickling up her arms.
I choose to be forward, taking the blade from her hands, and tossing it back on the nightstand, her startled eyes meeting mine.
That same look is still there, and I remember her words last night, begging me to stop being so gentle and careful with her, so I do exactly what she asked for earlier, pushing her against the wall.
She lets out a small yelp as her back crashes into the drywall, the force enough to knock the lamp to the ground, and she smiles, a light pink blush forming on her cheeks.
I brush my fingers over the dried blood on her face, and she closes her eyes, a deep sigh coming from her chest. In a second, her hand wraps around my wrist, her eyes devilishly set on my maroon-colored hands.
I play on her weaknesses, wrapping my palm against her throat, and her chest heaves rapidly, a sure sign that she doesn’t want me to stop.
“Ozzy,” she chokes out, swallowing hard against my hand, and I ease up slightly, giving her a little leeway. “If you don’t fuck me, right now, against this wall, you’ll watch me do it myself.”
Her words, the unmistakable consent, and the ways her body reacts to mine work together in unison to release the beast inside me, and all I can do is react in the primal ways that I’ve kept buried since she’s been back with me.
In a split second, I drop my hand from her neck, landing on her sweater, and tearing it down the middle, revealing her chest.
“Don’t make me remind you who you belong to, who’s the only person allowed to touch you.”
She shudders at my movements, and my words, but doesn’t hesitate in reciprocating, yanking the shirt over my head and lazily tossing it to the floor.
Her arms wrap around my neck, and she drags her lips along the delicate flesh behind my ear, lightly nibbling as she leaves love bites that surely trail to my collarbone.
“ I love you, Bambi .”
“I love you too, baby,” she says softly, her breath tickling the hairs on the back of my neck.
Our eyes meet again, and the lust is gone, but her pupils are still blown with desire, begging me to breach this wall we’ve found ourselves trapped on either side of.
“You're mine,” I say gruffly, my teeth nipping at her bottom lip.
“ Yours .”
Our lips collide, hunger coming from deep within us both as our tongues fight for dominance. I let my hands roam her body, my fingers looping into the waistband of her leggings.
Her hands fumble with my belt buckle, and we’re both ripping at each other's clothes, desperate to feel our bodies skin to skin.
I never thought we’d have this opportunity again, given how mad she was when we first saw each other, but this is our second chance, the passion taking us both to new heights.
“Are we safe?” I ask, teasing her clit with my finger, moving in slow circles as her breaths intensify.
“Yes, I'm back on the pill,” she whispers, her knees beginning to buckle as I dip one finger inside her, then another.
My hands are shaking with the struggle of holding back from her, it’s been too long since our bodies met to make the magic we do between the sheets, and I can’t resist any longer.
I hoist her up, her legs dangling over my arms, and I sink her down until her entrance is lined up with my cock, and I close the space between us, slowly pushing inside her.
“ Oh my god, ” she breathes, her nails digging into my flesh, leaving scratches down my back.
Fucking Christ.
The way she wraps around me is a problem , and it’s as if her walls remember me, clenching enough to choke me, but I shake it off, pumping into her core until I’m buried to the hilt.
She’s still perfect as she writhes against me, her screams and moans the most wonderful sounds I’ve ever heard.
“Don’t fucking stop, please Ozzy,” she begs, and I obey her commands, holding her legs as we both chase euphoria.
“Come here, Bambi,” I whisper in her ear, tearing her body off the wall and carrying her to the bed, my dick still perfectly positioned inside of her.
Our bodies bounce against one another, the mattress welcoming us as I pull her on top of me, admiring every single inch of her skin. My hands can’t be stopped, touching every inch of her curves, her skin baby-soft beneath my calloused, blood-stained hands.
I look up at her, watching as she grinds into me, her hips rolling while she cries out in pleasure. I can’t help but be mesmerized while she rides me, her perfect body cascading over mine in beautiful harmony.
I reach up, taking both her nipples between my thumb and index fingers, pinching just enough to add pain to her pleasure.
“Look at you, Bambi. You’re my fucking goddess,” I groan, encouraging her to pick up her pace.
“Worship me, then” she moans, dropping her hands to my chest and grinding into me even harder.
I can feel how wet she is, her clit brushing my skin every time she moves, and her head tips back as she screams, her body trembling as she reaches an orgasm.
I flip her off me, onto her back, and her hands tangle in my hair, pulling me into her. I press my lips to hers forcefully, and she whimpers, desperate for me to make a move.
“Eyes on me, Fallon,” I say, waiting for her gaze to meet mine.
I stare at her in awe as her breath hitches when I press inside her, and her back arches, all of her on display just for me.
I hoist her legs over my shoulder, plowing into her while her delicate hands roam my body, her fingers stopping when they reach the scar on my chest.
B for Bambi.
Something electric happens when she touches the place she carved into my flesh, almost like a switch flipping inside me. I drop down, my body covering hers, devouring every inch of her skin that I can possibly reach. I nip at her neck, trailing my tongue down her collarbone in small swirls, which drives her wild.
“Ozzy, I’m so close,” she breathes, her head tipping back into the sheets.
I position her legs until they’re wrapped around my neck, and she screams louder the deeper I plunge into her. I gently rub her clit while I bottom out, sending her into overdrive.
She writhes against the bed, shaking the frame into the wall, and her nails claw at anything she can to hold onto.
“So. Fucking. Beautiful.” I grit my teeth, accentuating every word with a thrust as my release grabs me in a chokehold, spilling into her core.
I flop beside her, pulling her body into mine while she attempts to regain control of her breathing.
“That was … wow,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around me and kissing my chest.
“Even better than I remember,” I say, a smile creeping across my face.
“Oh yeah? How many times did you remember something like that?” She teases, giggling as she sits up and straddles my lap.
“Every single time I took a shower, Bellissima .”
“Now that is something I want to see one day,” she smiles, grinding her hips into me and raking her hands through her hair.
“Come on, Bambi. Let’s get you cleaned up,” I say, lifting her off me and taking her by the hand.
“Will you wash my hair? Like you used to, baby?” She asks, with a softness in her eyes that melts me to my core.
“I’d love nothing more.” I smile, turning the water on as hot as she likes it, and guiding her over the edge of the tub.
I watch as she soaks herself, the dried blood in her hair trickling down her body and mixing with the water, following the trail to the drain.
I climb in behind her, desperate to keep my hands on her body and wash the remnants of her stepfather off our bodies, for good.
I spin her around to face me, wiping the water from under her eyes, and the gentle smile that cascades across her face is one I’ll never forget.
She seems at peace, like nothing is left inside her that can nag at her conscience, or bring her back down into the pits of hell she showed up with in Alabama dredging behind her.
She’s mine again, and nothing – absolutely nothing – will bring down the high I’m riding on. Fallon became mine with words and affirmations, and today, those same sentiments were spoken, re-solidifying the chosen bond we have had since the day she followed me in that diner.
“What do we do next?”
“I don’t know, Fallon. I mean, we have a lot to deal with and discuss,” I reply, lathering her hair with my signature shampoo.
I’ll have her split ends and roots taken care of in no time, and she can’t fool me. I know she went back to the bargain brands for her hair care in my absence. It takes a lot of maintenance to keep up with a mane like this, and with the fresh dye on her hair, she needs my emergency routines.
“Like Journey,” she says softly, tipping her head back as I use my nails to massage her scalp.
“We need to have a conversation with Oliver, tell him what we know,” I tell her, and she nods, seemingly okay with what comes next.
“You said the next time he fucks with me, I handle it how I deem necessary. I want him dead,” she explains, and I can’t argue with such a strong statement.
She knows I agree, and I want to be the one to do it, to gut him like a fish for disrespecting her body in such a disturbing way.
“I’m certain Olly will agree. He’s your best friend,” I say, and she nods slowly while I rinse the conditioner from her hair.
“Let’s get him up here before the next meeting, have a private talk about this first. Then, we bring in Lex, to verify, of course.”
“Great idea, Bambi. I’m behind you every step of the way.”
We’re both quiet for a few beats, and I take a deep breath, knowing that this is a safe space.
I clear my throat and prepare to force myself to make peace with what I’ve done, just like all the times before.
“Eight,” I whisper, closing my eyes and letting the water trickle over us both as I pull Fallon into my arms.
Her touch calms me, brings me to a place where I don’t have regrets or doubts, and it’s exactly what helps me recenter my mind.
“Three,” she says against my chest, and I scan my mind, wondering if there’s something she hasn’t told me, but then it hits like a ton of bricks.
“No. No, Fallon ,” I say, pushing her shoulders back until her eyes reach mine. “Don’t you dare count Angel. That isn’t on your hands, it’s on his. His body count, the things that should haunt him, not you.”
She’s fighting back tears, and her body is shaking, but I don’t move a muscle, not until she believes me.
If he hadn’t torn us apart, we’d be expecting a child. It’s that simple, and the choice she made in my absence isn’t something she deserves to have held over her head.
“Okay … two.”
She takes deep breaths, attempting to shake off the sadness that seems to follow whenever we talk about him. It’s a constant reminder of what we’re fighting for, and how much we’ve already lost.
“ One day , Bambi. I promise you,” I whisper, kissing her forehead and reaching around her to shut the water off.
Fallon and I have shared many traditions, rituals, and routines, but our time together under the water is my favorite.
There’s nothing more beautiful than two people at their most vulnerable, sharing a space, and their innermost thoughts. What Fallon and I can accomplish together is nothing short of fascinating, the ways our minds, bodies, and souls open up to each other, even during the most traumatic moments.
That’s the foundation of our relationship, exchanging our pain, and attempting to make sense of the fucked up universe we were lucky enough to find each other in.
I wrap a towel around my girl, lending a hand as she climbs over the edge of the white porcelain.
“Is it strange that I don’t feel anything? With Raz, it was self-defense, us or him, but this was … murder,” she says, her voice coming out in a whisper as she finishes her sentence.
I presented this idea to her earlier, before she ended her stepfather’s life, but the weight of her actions are finally catching up, and she needs me to help her unscramble the guilty thoughts from the justified ones.
“He sexually abused you, Fallon. You should’ve done that the second he shoved a camera in your face.”
I keep her eyes trained on me, letting my words sink in as her face changes, the realization hitting home and her conscience absolving.
“You’re right. It’s time to move forward and let this go, for good. I took something from the house, though, from my mother’s room,” she tells me, digging around for the sweater I ripped off her body a short while ago.
She drops two silver pieces in my hand, the jingling of metal the only sound in the room.
When I open my palm, there’s an engagement ring, the other is a wedding band, and my gaze finds hers, the look in her dark eyes drawing me into her arms.
Her tender touch around my waist awakens something inside me, the side of myself I’ve kept at bay since she’s been back with me, hell, since the night I left her in North Carolina. The ideas of having a future, living past the next day, and creating a life that’s worth fighting for. Those are the thoughts I’ve held off on getting lost in, but now that Fallon and I are back on track, I have hope .
“These were hers?” I ask, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Yeah, my dad gave them to her before I was born. It was a long time ago, but she wasn’t always a drunken mess,” she says, chuckling as sadness spreads across her face.
“You never talk about him.” I poke, testing the waters to see if she’ll open up to me.
As much as I know about her, and the ways I can read her mind, there are still so many details of her past I’m dying to know. The mystery of her father is at the top of that list.
“There’s not much to say, um, he died when I was little, and I don’t remember much about him. He was a soldier, and Mom got rid of everything that reminded her of him, except those rings.”
She wipes a lone tear that escapes the corner of her eye, and I fumble with the last physical reminder of her father in my hand, an idea forming.
“Hold on, Bambi.”
I reach around her, finding the clasp of her Athena necklace and taking the chain from around her neck. In a flash, I slip the band on the chain, eclipsing the pendant, and I re-fasten the silver back in place.
“Now, you harness the power of two spirits,” I say softly, my fingers brushing the ring one last time before I let it hang proudly off her.
“Oh, Ozzy,” she whispers, her body trembling against mine. “This is … one of the most incredible things you’ve ever done for me. I love you.”
“I love you, Bambi.”
In a moment that ends far too soon, we break our embrace, and her business face is back on. I help her into a fresh change of clothes, and in turn, she combs my curls with her fingers, the feeling of her nails on my scalp unmatched.
We still have mountains to move, enemies to take down, and the entire world barking at our heels, but today was a true testament to our bond. Fallon and I can navigate our way through everything, and today was the first time we could notch a win under our belts.
Until now, we’ve been fighting in the dark, but finally, we were able to see the light and strike back.