Chapter 40
“I thought your angel might have tried to ‘save’ you,” Zahhak said, sloshing back the blood, teeth stained and glistening. “It would seem he cares less about you than we thought.”
We had been in the Underworld eight whole days. I should have been in the bookshop, working the Sunday shift, gossiping with Cleo while she had her third iced coffee of the day. Instead, I was at dinner with Zahhak and Azar, the day before my wedding. Trying not to react to his words.
Where was Zain? I worried that something had happened to him. This anxiety festered in the depths of my belly, more and more with each day that passed. Zahhak’s words suggested he wasn’t hurt, though how could I be sure he wasn’t just messing with me?
“You’re chugging the blood back tonight,” Azar commented, moving the food around on her plate with her fork. Neither of us had an appetite.
The night before, Azar and I had spoken in hushed whispers.
“We need to figure a way out,” I hissed.
“They’re guarding us too heavily, and they’re much stronger than us,” Azar had said. “We need to try to escape when they’re distracted, when we’re not being so closely watched.”
Earlier that day, Pouran had detailed to us the wedding plans. It would be held outside, on the palace grounds. Hundreds of guests had been invited.
Now at dinner, Zahhak was jolly, loose-lipped. Perhaps it was all the blood he consumed that brightened his cheeks, made him seem almost drunk.
“It’s a time of celebration,” he mused, draining his glass and clicking his fingers. A servant appeared almost immediately, filling his glass up to the top. “It’s not every day your granddaughter gets married. And to such a prestigious suitor. A khan. You’re very lucky.”
His eyes twinkled at me as he continued. “As Keyon’s wife, your soul will be bonded to his. Once you consummate your marriage and produce an heir, your connection with the angel should be broken, finally.”
Consummate your marriage.
Produce an heir.
I racked my brain for memories of my previous selves.
What their experiences were, whether they had ever been married off to avoid being with Zain.
It had never successfully happened. Though one of my selves, Sahra in the 1820s, had married another man before she met her Zain, Younes.
Despite it being frowned upon, forbidden even, she left her husband for Younes. They ran away together.
We always found each other, in every lifetime.
I held on to that. Even if I was forced into this marriage, it didn’t mean what Zahhak claimed.
It wouldn’t break anything; our bond was not something that could be shattered that easily.
He must have known that, and yet…the words consummate your marriage terrified me.
Caused me to shudder. Like my body wasn’t my own.
“No,” I said, rising from my seat. “You can’t do this!”
Zahhak was the picture of unbothered. “Well, yes, actually I can.”
Azar spoke more loudly. “The whole treaty is absurd and outdated. She isn’t going to get pregnant by the angel. Also, birth control exists. They could even promise to never have sex if that’d keep you satisfied.”
Despite everything, I couldn’t stop my face from scrunching up. “Azar, that’s gross, ew.”
“It’s true,” she countered. “And to be honest, I just don’t get the whole angels hate jinn and jinn hate angels thing. From what I’ve heard, some angels are pretty messed up and some jinn are not actually evil, so…are you all exaggerating your hatred for each other a little?”
Zahhak’s eyes widened like he had been slapped. “Exaggerating? Do you think this is all a joke, you silly girl? We are nothing like them.”
Except, we were. Angels and jinn had been brainwashed from birth to hate each other, to fit their leaders’ agendas. That was why my and Zain’s union was so despised. Because coexisting would give the leaders less power over their people.
Energy charged through me, resulting in warm hands, which were glowing red, though the flames were pathetically small under the spells of this palace.
“This is rather boring,” Zahhak said.
“No wonder Mum ran away from here,” Azar bit out.
Zahhak’s lip twitched at that. He took another long sip of his blood before brushing lint off his shoulder. The snake lay dormant underneath his cloak, possibly resting.
So that bothered him.
“She hated you just as much as we do,” I said, still standing, looking down at him.
Another twitch of his lip.
“Be quiet,” he said.
“A sensitive subject, is it?” Azar said. “The Jinn King gets upset that no one likes him?”
“I said, enough!” he roared. He banged his fists on the dining table, and all the objects flew into the air from the impact, the table cracking. His glass of blood was a casualty, soaking the white tablecloth a deep red, dripping off the end of the table.
I stayed stock-still, afraid. Azar, however, was only encouraged by his show of emotion. She stood, raising a finger at him.
“You think you can control people and make this fake royal family, like people are chess pieces to control, but that’s not the case. You’ll live forever, but you’ll always be alone, unloved.”
“I could kill you quite easily,” he said, locking eyes with Azar. “Say one more word and I’ll do just that. My snakes are desperate to taste jinn blood.”
At that, Azar quieted down.
“And you’re wrong about your mother,” he said. “She was ungrateful. I took her in when she had no one. So when she ran away, I let her. Let her be the fool who lives in the Middleworld. And look what good it did her—killed by the div I was shielding her from.”
I knew he was just saying these things to fit his narrative, but some of it rang true. Zahhak was evil, but so were the div, and they were fighting against each other. Neither side was good, but I suppose that was the whole point of the Underworld, and the angels, too.
“Because you’ve both shown yourselves to be just as ungrateful as her, I’ll be separating you tonight.” He looked at me. “You’re going to need your beauty sleep, anyway, Roxana. Dinner is over.”
—
“Where’s Azar?” I asked Pouran as she helped me get ready for bed. After dinner, we had been forcibly separated, and the door adjoining our rooms had been returned and locked. No matter how much I tried to kick it down, it wouldn’t budge. “She isn’t in the room next to mine anymore, is she?”
I had screamed for her but heard nothing on the other side.
“She’s in another room, far from this one, safe and well.”
I scoffed. Neither of us was safe or well here.
Pouran’s lips were set in a grim line, brows heavier than usual. Was she tired? Sad, even? “You should get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow.”
“Please,” I said. “Is there no way you can help us escape? I can’t marry that jinn. I don’t want to be bound to him.”
Her eyes hardened. “No, I can’t do that. You have gotten away with a lot with Zahhak, but non-royalty like me…you are lucky in ways you will never understand. And Keyon is a good jinn, he will take care of you.”
“I don’t want to be taken care of,” I snapped.
“I suppose that is how we are different.” She shrugged, walking toward the door.
“Wait,” I called after her, taking quick steps to meet her as I whispered, “Have you heard anything of Zain?” It was a long shot, but I had to ask.
She shook her head. “He will not be able to enter these palace walls,” she said. “If he does, they will kill him on sight. That we haven’t heard anything is a good thing for him.”
Her words were hardly a comfort. Still, I held on to them. They were all I had.
That night, I had little sleep. I dreamed of the ways my past selves had turned their hands to murder.
Each scenario was vastly different. Some of the men I killed were hunters who were after me.
Others, fellow jinn who got in Rabiya’s way.
Some innocent, in the wrong place at the wrong time, others calculating, seers who had reported my whereabouts to jinn for money.
Rabiya was always swift, unwavering in her killing.
But other versions of me were softer, kinder.
If they killed it was accidental, or when they were left with no choice, a knife to their neck, their hands their only weapon to burn the flesh of the people who wanted to kill them.
And then my dreams morphed into the way the jinn hunters I had killed at the gas station felt under my hands.
It didn’t really matter that they’d wanted me dead, had been gleeful in their aim because the fact was, I could have just injured them.
I could have walked away when they were on the floor, burned and struggling to move.
But I chose to end their lives. And now I was forced to suffer my own punishment; my own life would be given away.
To jinn nobility. I knew so little about this boy, Keyon, who was soon to be my husband.
Maybe, as Azar and I had discussed, in the excitement of the wedding, there would be an opportunity to leave the palace. We had to try, even if it killed us.