Chapter Twenty-One #2
“Don’t want to,” I said, my tongue already slurring my words. “Wanna talk to you. Wanna fuck you.” My eyes drifted closed, and my mind already hovered somewhere between being awake and asleep.
Ryder chuckled. “While I’d love to bend right on over for you, I don’t quite think this is the place or you are in any shape to fuck right now.” He leaned in and whispered, “Plus, your mom is right there and I’m about to let your nurse know you’re awake.”
That’s right. We should have woken her. She must have been as worried as Ryder. I tried to say that very thing to him, but my mouth no longer listened to me, and all I did was grunt.
“Shh.” Warm lips pressed against mine before landing on my forehead, “I’ll tell her you woke up. There’s nothing for you to do or worry about. Sleep. I’ll be here.”
I couldn’t have ignored that command if I wanted to. The knowledge that I was safe, warm, and watched over allowed my mind to succumb to a deep, dreamless sleep.
The next time my eyes fluttered open, I found the hospital room bathed in low light.
Ryder still sat on his vinyl throne, but now he typed away on his laptop.
The dark circles hadn’t gone away, and his hair only looked more mussed.
What would it take to convince him to go home and sleep the rest of the night in our bed?
“Hey,” I croaked, sounding like a dying frog.
He jumped, then glanced over the lid of his laptop. As soon as our gazes met, his eyes lit up. “Hey, handsome.”
“Water?”
“You bet. The doctor said you could have as much as you wanted, but not to chug. You haven’t eaten in four days, so your stomach might be a little off.”
I grunted as I parted my lips for the straw he held to my mouth. Icy water slid against my tongue in the most delicious, thirst-quenching sip I’d ever taken.
“Ah, what’d I say about hoovering the straw?” Ryder pulled the cup away with a stern expression as I tried to inhale the entire cup. “Save that shit for my dick.”
I let out a weak chuckle. “Pervert.”
He winked and settled back in the chair as he set the cup on the rolling table. “How are you feeling?”
Good question. How was I feeling? I took a moment to wiggle my toes, roll my shoulders, and bend my legs. Each movement came with a healthy dose of discomfort, but nothing too excruciating. “Shitty, but not terrible.”
“They’ve been giving you scheduled pain medication in the IV, so hopefully you’re not in too much pain. The doctor said they’d switch you to oral meds once you were awake more consistently.”
Made sense. “Mom go home?”
Ryder nodded. “Yeah, it’s about seven in the evening now. I had a car service pick her up about thirty minutes ago. She said to give you her love and she’ll be back tomorrow, but you can call anytime.”
“Can you put this thing down?” I asked, knocking my hand against the bed railing.
The request had Ryder chuckling. “I have been scolded by the nurse about a hundred times for putting this down while you were sleeping, but it’s too damn hard to touch you when it’s up.”
My thoughts exactly. “You can touch me now.” I reached for him, ignoring the pain in my ribs as I stretched my arm.
A gorgeous grin spread across my favorite face. “Don’t have to ask me twice.”
He shut the laptop and set it on the table before scooting the chair as close to the bed as possible.
Then, he slid his palm along mine, but didn’t stop there.
He coasted his hand up my bruised arm, into the sleeve of my fashionable hospital gown, and let it rest lightly on my chest. Warmth and security flowed from his skin to mine, making me soar higher than the most potent hit of morphine.
“Missed your hands on me,” I whispered. Emotions I didn’t have the energy to combat bombarded me. I’d come close, too close to being taken from Ryder. The thought of it thickened my throat until I could barely draw in a breath.
Ryder must have sensed my distress because he stroked his hand over my pec in soothing circles. “Pft,” scoffed. “You didn’t miss shit. You were too busy napping.”
I chuckled then groaned. “Ugh, don’t make me laugh.”
He winked and kissed my shoulder, but in his gaze, I saw the same knowledge of how close we’d come to losing this forever. My body would heal with time, but I wasn’t sure my mind would bounce back as well. “We’re gonna need a lot of therapy, aren’t we?”
It was Ryder’s turn to chuckle. It started low and light but turned into a full-blown laugh in minutes. “Fuck yeah, we are. Hell, we probably both needed it before this, now we’re really gonna be fucked up.”
A soft knock on the door stole my attention before I could agree with him.
“Kenny…” God, I was an asshole. I’d barely thought of him since I’d woken up, too fixated on Ryder.
“You’re awake,” he whispered, eyes widening.
Ryder chuckled. “I texted you saying he’d woken up.”
Wait, since when did they text?
“No, I know. It’s just… seeing it… after the last few days.” He shrugged, still hovering in the doorway.
“Come in. You can sit on the edge of my bed.”
“I can go,” Ryder offered. “Give you two some time.”
“No!” I pressed my hand over his, where it still rested on my chest. “Stay. Please.”
His eyes softened, and he blew out a breath, seeming relieved. Yeah, we were going to have some codependency issues moving forward, but I was okay with that. He could live in my damn pocket after this, and I’d be perfectly content. Hell, I’d love it.
Kenny shuffled into the room, but he didn’t try to sit on my bed, just loomed near the foot. He looked like shit. Like he’d lost twenty pounds he didn’t have to spare since I’d last seen him a few weeks ago.
“Are you okay?” I asked, which made him grunt.
Ryder’s lips twitched. I glared at my boyfriend, knowing precisely what he was thinking. No, smartass, Kenny and I did not communicate with the same grunt.
“That’s a question for you, not me.” The fact that the petulant tone didn’t have an accompanying eye roll had me stunned.
“I’m okay. They’ve apparently pumped me full of pain meds.”
He nodded.
“Your turn.”
“I’m…” His gaze shifted to Ryder, then back to me. After squirming for a few seconds, he sighed. “I’m pretty fucked up right now.”
Holy shit. I sucked in a breath. Was he about to admit he needed help? The gentle stroke of Ryder’s hand on my skin kept me from demanding he explain himself.
“I don’t have much time. I’m checking into rehab tonight.”
The way I gaped at him would have been hilarious in any other situation. “Y-you are?”
He nodded. “You can thank your man there.” He grunted. “Got me into some fancy-ass rehab facility.”
Oh my God. Oh my God. I stared at Ryder, who had a soft smile on his face. “But…” How was this even possible? Those places cost a damn fortune, and most had a mile-long waitlist.
His thumb brushed my nipple, making me jolt and narrow my eyes at him, which only had him chuckling. “It’s covered,” he said in a low voice.
“A loan,” Kenny stated in a stronger voice than he’d used since arriving.
Crazy as it might sound, if this traumatic event were the catalyst Kenny needed to get help and get clean, I’d consider it all worth it, though I might keep that tidbit to myself. I don’t think Ryder would agree just yet.
“Um, Ken, that’s really good.”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m kinda scared as fuck, but…”
“We’ll be here,” I said. “When you get out. We’ll be here for you.”
“Um, I’d better go. I have to pack some shit, but I’ll call when I can.” He started for the door, then turned back and speared me with a heavy look. “I’m sorry, Alex, for so much shit. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I knew he was, and I forgave him, even if it would take a lifetime to forget the feel of that bat cracking against my body. “Get better, Ken. That’s all the apology I want or need.”
He nodded once, then turned and slunk from the room. All I could do was hope that one day he’d walk with confidence. That’d he’d heal physically and mentally enough to return home whole and healthy.
Only then could we begin to heal what had broken in our family.
But that wouldn’t happen tonight. What I did have tonight was the most incredible man to walk the planet, sitting by my bedside because he loved me.
“Thank you.” I tried to infuse as much meaning into those two words as I possibly could, but how could two little words ever capture my immense gratitude?
He tilted his head. “You’re not going to stress about it? About me giving him money.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Shit, maybe they need to scan your brain again. This is a major personality change.”
“Har har.”
He grew serious. “Anytime. Anything. I love you, Alex. Money is easy for me. You don’t have to thank me for sharing it. All I want is you.”
I reached out and cupped the side of his face. “How did I miss it? All those years ago, how did I miss who you are?”
“To be fair, I was a little shit back then. Especially to you.”
“Well, I was no picnic either, and you’ve mostly made up for it.”
He laughed, and for the first time since I woke up, I saw joy in his eyes. “Mostly, huh?”
I grinned. “Yeah, you’ll probably need to spend the rest of your life with me to atone for your sins fully.”
He leaned in until our lips were a breath apart. “Well, if that’s what I gotta do.”
“I love you so goddamn much, Ryder.”
“Can’t be more than I love you, Alex.”
We kissed, and everything—pain, worry, outside problems—all faded to nothing, and for that moment, lying there beat to shit in a hospital bed, life was fucking perfect.