Chapter 11 #2
“Yes, you did but you can’t go back and change that.
All you can do is show up for her every single time she looks up.
Coming from experience, you never forget your mother’s absence, but being surrounded by people who love you unconditionally will lighten the blow.
You don’t think you can make this up, but you can, by just being there.
By never allowing her to feel alone in a world filled with isolation.
” I moved in front of him while I spoke.
He nodded. “So. You're not leaving me?”
“Not by a longshot, Chef. I happen to like them kind of dark with a lil baggage.” I cracked a smile, knowing maybe it wasn’t the right moment.
He leaned forward, his forehead finding my abdomen. “I love you too, Jade.”
“You better.”
When I asked him what was wrong, I never imagined what was wrong was the fact that he had murdered his wife and her side dude.
That was quite the burden to carry, even though he shouldn’t have been.
It was crazy because what should have been a red flag for me was bright green like the streetlights on a Monday summer night in the city.
Where he felt monstrous and undeserving of love, I saw a man who deserved love so unconditional, so intentional, that he felt it with every motion. The wildest love with no containment.
“So, let me get this straight, y’all put a marshmallow between chocolate and two graham crackers? That’s just disrespectful to the graham crackers.” My expression probably mirrored how I felt about it.
Aja laughed and so did her father. “It’s a s’more, Jade.”
“I mean I see, but this is so dangerous and how do we even taste the chocolate?” I watched Aja bite into the semi melted chocolate marshmallow sandwich.
“Baby, just try it.”
“Um, no. Hard pass. I’ll watch y’all eat and warm something up in the kitchen.” My words didn’t mean much, because before I knew it, he was holding the graham cracker sandwich in front of my mouth.
“Try it, Jade,” Aja begged, looking more like her father in that moment than anything. He said she looked like her mother, but every time I looked at her, I saw him.
I screwed my face up. “I don’t wann?—”
“Jade.” Oden’s heavy voice and the fact that he was still holding this damn s’more out in my face was the most sinful type of peer pressure I had ever encountered.
“Fine.”
I took the smallest ,and I mean the smallest, bite and straight up hated it. I didn’t taste the marshmallow at all, but the texture of it was there and threw me off. I wanted to spit it out, but I swallowed it instead. “That was disgusting.”
Aja laughed and Oden shook his head. We were sitting on the back porch around his firepit.
Yesterday was extremely heavy emotionally, so to be able to sit here now and just enjoy one another’s company was everything.
It was crazy how being here with them made it so easy for me to forget everything going on back home.
I was able to be present here and feel lighter.
I allowed yesterday’s heaviness to be yesterday’s heaviness, meaning when we woke up this morning I focused on everything but yesterday.
So after eating breakfast this morning, Oden taught me how to harvest herbs and produce, something I never thought would be so sexy but it was.
Oden kissed my shoulder, breaking my intense stare down with the fire in front of us. It was then that I realized it was just him and me on the porch now. Aja must have gone in.
“Where did Aja go?” I blinked, settling into his body behind me.
“Into the house to the washroom, but I’m pretty sure that’s code for going to talk to that little boy.”
I laughed at the dryness in his tone when he said that little boy. “First you said Kinga had beef with a tween. Do you now have beef with the tween too?”
He joined in on my laughter before growing momentarily serious. “Nah, shit, I don’t know. Never thought my daughter would grow up and like boys. Mentally you don’t see that typa shit when they’re taking their first steps and babbling in baby language.”
“Understood. But she had to grow up, right?”
“Yeah. I can’t believe she wants to live with me…well us, full-time. She says Kinga has too many kids and dogs.”
I cackled before I could catch myself because I immediately thought about our conversation when I braided her hair. “She said that in so many words to me last night when I braided her hair. Told me it would just be the three of us unless I can guarantee her a little brother.”
Before I knew it, he was chuckling too. “Guarantee, huh?”
“Same thing I said.”
“She’s convinced that you live with me.”
I shook my head, eyes on the water beyond the couple trees. “Technically I do. Well… until I find a place, because no amount of peace of mind will make me feel unviolated in there.” My mind went to my condo.
“Don’t think about that shit. You can stay with me for as long as you want or need. You mess around and let me and Aja get too used to you and yeen going no fucking where.”
“Just like that, huh? That's easy?”
“That's easy. Everything doesn’t have to be hard, love. Some things just work out in the right fashion, and for that, I’m grateful.
” His massive hand rested firmly on my thigh, holding me in place.
His words were like an affirmation to my heart.
I had never been one of those girls who love found.
I’d had plenty more mishaps than I had happily ever afters.
Then here he was, a man who seemingly had it all together, and time was insignificant when two souls found a fit within one another.
We spent a while longer out on the porch before finally going into the house. There I attempted to clean some dishes, but with a quickness that man tossed me over his shoulder and carried me toward the stairs.
“I’ll handle that shit in the morning. Lemme handle you right now.”
I laughed as he carried me up the couple stairs, then stopped and looked in on Aja, who was already asleep.
“I need to take a shower. We were just outside. I smell lik?—”
“Outside,” he finished for me. “Aight, go turn the water on.”
When he put me down, I went and did as he asked, with heated anticipation of him having me however he wanted.
I stripped out of my clothing, leaving everything pooled outside of the shower door and I stepped in.
His water pressure was heavenly and that shocked me because he really lived in the sticks.
I had been standing under the warm water for all of seven seconds when he joined me, pulling my body back against him.
Then his hand was on my back while the other kept my legs upright.
I knew exactly what he wanted, so I did just that, bending over, welcoming him in.
I bit into my bottom lip in anticipation, feeling my pussy palpitating.
What I didn’t expect was to feel his tongue, while his hands held me in place.
Fire pooled my abdomen while I gnawed my bottom lip in pure ecstasy.
He spoke into my pussy from the back. “Stay right there, don’t fucking move.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I cried, feeling like time had slowed as explosion after explosion went off in my mind.
Before I knew it I was pushing against the wall as my legs began to shake uncontrollably. “Baby, I can’t. You’re trying to break me,” I cried louder than I intended.
“I’m tryna do more than that. Now stay still.”
“I can’tttt.” I came so hard I almost fell, but he caught me.
Like a true monster he turned me around and threw my leg over his shoulder.
Shit he wasn’t finished with me and he made that abundantly clear when he locked his hands around my thighs and began to lap up the mess he’d made while also making another.
Half of my weight was against the wall and the rest in his grasp. This man was literally eating the soul out of me. Dropping my head against the shower wall, I closed my eyes, feeling time slow before I heard his voice.
“Don’t close your eyes now. Watch me eat your pussy, nah fuck that, my pussy until I’m done.” His tone was deep, throaty, and demanding which had my eyes wide open and gaze locked with his.
“Mhmm.”
When he finished assaulting my body with his lips, he then picked me up and impaled me for the rest of the night, making sure I knew his reach. Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say this man was proving a point tonight.