38. Valerio
THIRTY-EIGHT
VALERIO
Valerio was still coming to learn who Luna was, but one thing he was learning quickly was that she was eerily good at showing people the emotions she wanted them to see. He thought they were past the point of hiding the bullshit and could be fully transparent, but maybe he was wrong.
He couldn’t remember much of the night when he was shot. After the bullet hit him, everything just kind of went black. There were times when he would remember seeing their faces: Luna’s, Dante’s, Allister’s. It was for a split second before everything would become blurry and go completely black once again. There was no way for him to figure out whether it was snapshots of that night or not, but after hearing her words, he realized it was real. It wasn’t just his mind showing him fragments of the people he loved and trusted the most in the world. They were actually covered in his blood, screaming out orders in a rush of pure fear.
Valerio stood from his chair, slower than he would have liked, but he managed to do it alone, waving off Dante’s help. He didn’t need his help, or anyone else's for that matter.
After a week of practicing walking, his steps felt less heavy, but he missed how quick he used to be on his feet. He missed his own strength. Now, he felt like a stranger in his own body, feeling betrayed by his own weakness.
People jumping out to help him at every second only made the feeling worse. He hated needing help ever since he was a child. It made him feel weak, made him feel vulnerable, and that was exactly what got people killed in their world.
Maybe that was his issue; he had too many weaknesses. He would destroy the world for Luna, he was fiercely protective over his brothers, and he kept loyalty sacred.
And within that loyalty remained a sliver for his father.
He hated the man. Hell, he couldn’t remember a time in his life when he didn’t. But that was the only parent he and Dante had left. He tried to convince himself that if his mother was able to see something in him to stay as long as she did, then maybe there was something redeemable about Cesare Vitali.
Then, Valerio remembered every single thing his father did to him and suddenly he didn’t care if the man lived or died. He remembered his father forcing him to kill a man on his thirteenth birthday because he needed to learn how to run the business. He remembered his father taking a belt to his ass at nine years old when he would wake up with nightmares at night after his mother had died and he would cry out for her, waking up the house. He remembered his father forcing him to go to Italy when he was seventeen years old because he thought Valerio was getting too soft being at home. There wasn’t a single good memory there.
And yet, he found himself at a crossroads, justifying everything like he always did by saying it made him the person he was today. There might have been a point in time when he would have chosen his Vitali loyalty over anything else. Probably at a time when his life looked lonely, loveless, and bleak. When he thought it was the honorable thing to do to continue the legacy.
But he found Luna. She was his everything.
In this war, it was between Luna and his father. And Valerio knew for a fact she wasn’t going anywhere.
He found her in the library. Only a single lit up lamp on a small side table let him know that someone was in there. She sat with her legs pulled up to her chest, the chair only a few feet from the window where the full moon glowed vibrantly. A muffled sob escaped her lips and suddenly there was clearance for his crossroads.
It was so painfully obvious he would always choose her, that any threat against her was a threat against him. They were one in the same.
“When I put this library together, the vision of you in here was at the forefront of my mind. I always knew you would look absolutely beautiful inside of it,” he said, finally approaching her from the shadows.
She gasped, wiping her cheeks and turning her head to look at him. She began standing up. “You shouldn’t be walking without any help.”
He pulled a chair beside her before she could get up. “I thought about all the books you read and knew I needed to fill it. I figured since I got to design this library, you would get to design the next one.”
He took a seat, grabbing her cold hands in his. “I like this library,” she said, squeezing his hand tightly. “But I might make the next one a little less dark.”
Valerio let out a small chuckle. “I guess I can let you mess up my dark and mysterious aesthetic.”
Luna took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t force you to?—”
“Hush,” he said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You can do whatever you want.”
She shook her head. “No. I can’t ask you to choose your father over me, let alone kill him. That’s not right. We can figure something else out.”
“You’re right about everything,” Valerio told her. “The threat they pose is too high to not take care of. It’s us or them, and I’ll slaughter them before they lay another finger on you.”
Another tear slipped out, but this time, Valerio was there to wipe it away. “I don’t want you to hate me for it or to regret choosing me because of it.”
His chest squeezed painfully as if something was stabbing right through it. “Do you really think I could ever hate you?”
“It’s not impossible,” she whispered.
“I’m not capable of hating you. I’ve never been. Even at our worst, I couldn’t find myself hating you. It would feel like I was hating a piece of myself. I don’t think there’s a single thing you could do that would ever make me not forgive you,” Valerio admitted.
“That feels terrifying.”
“It is terrifying.” And it was. Knowing he was in so deep that no matter what she did, he would be able to forgive and still be able to love her, it scared him. It also empowered him in a way he didn’t know it could.
“But you still feel that way despite how scary it feels?”
“I do because I know you’re a good person, Luna. I know you would never hurt me and I know you would never want to hurt anyone you love. And because of that, I find myself able to trust you with every fiber of my being,” he said.
“What if I’m not so good?” she asked. She sniffled, attempting to turn her face away, but he held her chin. Her eyes broke through every wall he could ever imagine putting up. “Would you still love me?”
He couldn’t help the small smirk that found his lips. The way she questioned his love for her was humorous. “You could stab me in the chest with an actual knife and I would still love you. I would say I’ll love you for the rest of our lives, but I know I’ll love you long after that too.”
“Swear that you’ll never change that answer,” she begged. “Tell me that no matter what happens, you'll always feel that way.”
The raw vulnerability in her voice pushed murderous intent through his veins. The way she had loved so many people just to be burned by them had made her this person: someone who was scared to trust and to love. He would always be there to mend the broken pieces, and to love and defend her with every inch of his soul he had to give.
“I swear it,” he said. “I love you, now and always.”
“I love you too,” she said in a whisper.
Valerio’s eyes widened, his heart skipping a beat. “What did you say?”
“I said I love you too,” she said, louder this time. “I hated thinking that you would never get to hear me say it and I won’t live with regrets anymore. Whatever happens, I love you, Valerio Vitali.”
There were a handful of days that meant something to Valerio. All of them included Luna, but this moment, right here, was by far his favorite. He had known she’d felt this way far longer than she tried to let on, but she needed time. He refused to force it on her. But now, it was real.
She loved him. Luna loved him.
He couldn’t stop himself from kissing her, sealing her admittance the only way he could think of. He wouldn’t let her take it back now, no way in hell.
“I love you,” he said, pressing another kiss to her lips. “I love you.” A kiss to her left cheek. “I love you.” A kiss to the right cheek. “I love you.” A kiss to her nose. “I love you.” A kiss on her lips.
“Wait, remind me one more time,” she said. The glow in her eyes brought her back to life.
“I’ll remind you for the rest of our lives,” he said. “Say it one more time.”
“I love you.”
“Okay, one more time.”
“I love you.” She laughed, kissing him. “Now you can’t leave me, ever.”
“Never,” he promised. “Our lives are going to change. I promise you what happened that night will never happen again.”
The smile fell off her face. “In this world, you can’t promise that it won’t happen again.”
“I can. I let my guard down, but it won’t happen again,” he said. “I will take care of my father. As for yours, just say the word.”
She swallowed hard. “Please, think it through.”
“I already have. I have waited what seems like a lifetime to be with you, Luna. To give you the life we both want. I’m not waiting anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked, watching as he stood. “Where are you going?”
“Come on, Mrs. Vitali,” he said, helping her up. “We have a wedding to plan.”