Chapter 5 Finn
FIVE
FINN
The same routine got boring enough after a week. Finn couldn’t deny that he missed the wildness and danger of his life from before. Now, he was occupied with working out and sitting on the couch.
He didn’t want to go back to school. To be honest, he never did anything while he was there in the first place. His degree was mostly a pass to let him have some fun before he was supposed to seriously start training to take over his father’s role as Don, but clearly that never happened.
To say he was bored out of his fucking mind was an understatement. He scrolled through channels on the TV once again, feeling his brain rotting by the minute.
He heard footsteps entering the living room. Immediately, his mind jumped to the possibility of it being a certain blonde that glared whenever she saw him, but instead it was another one of his sister’s friends: Cecilia.
She gave him a small nod and smile, which he returned. She didn’t say anything, but that was fine by him.
Cecilia went to grab her book from the coffee table when it struck him that she was the one person who might know where Augustus was. He hadn’t been answering any phone calls or texts and hadn’t been by the house. It stung considering they used to be partners in crime, but things changed.
Still, Augustus was obsessed with her. Their relationship was confusing as fuck, but if anyone would know where he was, it had to be her.
“Hey, has Augustus changed his number or something?” Finn asked, standing. “He hasn’t been answering my calls, so I figured you might know.”
The small smile slipped off her face instantly and was replaced with narrowed eyes that seemed to hold fire inside of them. “I’m not his secretary.”
“Well, do you know where he is these days?”
“Why would I?” she asked, tucking the book under her arm.
“Because you guys have something going on,” he said.
Her eyes twitched in irritation, and she clenched her jaw. “No, we don’t.”
“Listen, I don’t give a shit about what you two do. I just need to talk to him. Can you tell him to call me?”
Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m going to say something, and this isn’t to be repeated to anyone, and I mean anyone.
You left him, just disappeared. He was your best friend.
You betrayed him after he was there for you through everything.
You can’t just come back and want to rekindle things.
That’s not how you treat the people you care about.
So no, I’m not going to tell him anything because you don’t deserve the loyalty of a friend like him. ”
The words hit him like a truck, nearly knocking him over. She walked away without another word, leaving him in the silence of his own consequences. He had pushed everyone away. He had left everything and everyone behind. They moved on without him and he was left playing catch up now.
His airway felt suffocatingly tight, a lump of emotion making it hard to get anything through.
On the inside, he wanted to claw and rip through his own body to destroy himself and the person he had become.
On the outside, there wasn’t a single indication of what he was going through.
His face remained stoic, but internally it felt like he was on fire.
He pushed it down, further and further, until it was suppressed. Until it didn’t hurt anymore.
And that was all he could do to survive.
After a vigorous workout session, Finn took a shower and made his way into the garage where Dante had said his bike was. Sure enough, it sat upright supported by the kickstand. Luckily, it didn’t look like they had destroyed it in the process of bringing it over to the house.
His bike was the first serious purchase he’d made for himself in college.
Simply put, his father would have destroyed it if he ever knew about it, so it was his dirty little secret.
The freedom he experienced when he felt the wind on his body while he whipped past cars and went dangerous speeds—there was nothing comparable.
Sex and alcohol couldn’t even compare to it, but after a long day of riding, they were close seconds.
He grabbed a rag from the counter and a bucket with water from the sink, taking his time to wash it down.
Months on the road had done a beating on it.
The bike needed an oil change and other regular maintenance, no doubt.
The tires needed to be replaced, but now that Finn had all the money and time in the world, he might as well get the bike prepared for another escape.
Being reunited with the one thing he really did care about almost made him lower his guard. The keyword being ‘almost.’ The hairs on his neck stood up, letting him know that someone was watching him.
“If you’re going to take me out of my misery, doing it when I’m turned around is a dick move,” Finn said, still not bothering to turn around to see who it was.
“I don’t think you deserve to see my face when I put a knife in your ass.”
Now that voice did have him turning. The surprise hit him hard when he saw Augustus standing in front of him and not one of the usual dwellers of the home.
He desperately tried to regain his composure, but that seemed futile because this was the one person who was able to read him.
They had been best friends—no, more like brothers—since they were eight years old.
If anyone knew him, the real him, it was Augustus.
“Why the ass and not my back?”
“I didn’t want to bother with the symbolism of stabbing you in the back,” he said, shrugging.
Finn stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans. “I’ve been calling and texting, but you haven’t answered. Did Cecilia mention I asked about you?”
“She didn’t need to. I hacked into the cameras and watched her myself.”
Finn held back his comments. Getting back into Augustus’s good graces was his priority, not telling him how batshit crazy it was to follow Cecilia around the house on the camera feed when he wasn’t around her.
“The only reason I’m here is because you pushed her to a place where she had to protect me against you, so thanks for being a giant asshole. Also, if you ever talk to her like that again, I’ll fucking kill you,” Augustus said, the threat clear in his voice.
“Noted.” Finn nodded, rubbing a hand on his chin. “I appreciate you coming.”
“Where’s my apology?”
“I thought you understood why I left,” he said. “I didn’t realize I owed you one.”
“I thought I was never going to see you again, dumbass. It was easier to accept it rather than fight it. Now you’re back, so you have to apologize for all the bullshit you put me through,” Augustus said.
Finn scoffed. “Everything you’ve been through? What about what I went through?”
“Can you stop being dense for one fucking second? I’m not undermining what you went through, asshole.
I’m trying to make you realize that I’m not disposable.
We’ve known each other for too fucking long for you to just throw me aside—to just throw everyone aside,” he said, the vein in his neck popping through at the outburst.
“I didn’t throw you aside, or at least I didn’t mean to.
” He shook his head. How could he explain to people that he couldn’t have stayed?
That the image of his father dead on the floor was so engraved into his head that he had to keep moving to help clear it.
That being around all of them was a reminder of his old life, the life with his father in it, and he couldn’t decipher whether that was a good or bad thing.
He said none of it. Instead, he said the only words he could manage to say, which were easier than anything else.
“I’m sorry, okay. You’re my brother and you always have been. ”
That seemed to appease Augustus enough because he nodded his head. “Thank God. I thought I was going to have to beat it out of you.” When the smile came onto his face, it seemed that the tension between them had lifted.
“I can admit when I’m wrong.”
“Can you? Damn, five months on the road did change you.”
Finn shook his head, grinning now. “What’s that saying about the road?”
Augustus snorted. “I don’t think there is one, dumbass. Now, tell me all about your adventures.”