Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
GIANNA
So far Gianna had driven to the arena where Fight Night usually took place, the lake where they had gone to a couple of times, and even the hotel they stayed the night at. He was at none of those places.
She was losing time which only added to her stress. Cecilia had texted saying that he hadn’t made it home yet and that Luna and the boys still couldn’t pinpoint his location either. He was sending everyone on a wild chase at that point, and it was maddening.
The only place Gianna considered going but hesitated was the old Kinglsey house that had been burnt to the ground by Finn himself.
From what Luna had told them, there was nothing left.
Even the ashes had been blown away. That was why Gianna had been resistant to even make the drive out knowing it would take a good hour to get there, but when desperation called, she answered.
The only memories Gianna really had of Luna’s family home were from their younger years and usually they were tainted with a dark shadow.
That shadow had been their father, Reece Kingsley.
While the girls were growing up, there were so many times where the sleepovers at Luna’s house felt more like a prison than it did anything else.
Luna and Finn had always seemed so desensitized to the way they lived with the constant surveillance and the control their father had on every aspect of their lives.
Gianna hated going over, but sometimes it was the only way to see Luna.
College had been a saving grace for both of the Kingsley kids and burning that house to the ground was the best choice for it.
The neighborhood was empty now, whereas once before it had been filled with guards and other employees.
The once ornate gate was now covered in rust and blown wide open.
It was so odd to see an entire fence enclosing around a space that was now completely empty, but a grandiose home had stood there once upon a time.
Cecilia saw a black SUV parked towards the side.
She stopped the car and placed it in park, turning it off before getting out.
The whole scene in front of her looked like something out of a war movie.
Burnt pieces of wood still lingered on the ground along with some ash, but otherwise it was all gone.
That was when she finally saw Finn. He was hunched over on the ground in the center of the large space.
She was careful walking over, not wanting to scare him.
But it didn’t seem to matter because the moment she stepped on a twig and it cracked under her weight, he was turning around with a gun in his hands.
Gianna threw her hands up, a gasp escaping her lips.
Finn’s eyes were red, as was his nose. He looked completely broken sitting on the floor in front of her.
She swallowed harshly, trying to calm her nerves. “Finn? Are you okay?”
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice filled with venom. He didn’t move the gun either. It stayed on her the entire time.
“I came to check on you. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Gianna said.
“You shouldn’t give a shit,” Finn spit out. “No one should. I’m a fucking joke.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think of you that way.”
“But you did. A couple of fucking weeks ago, you wanted nothing to do with me. No one wants anything to do with me. I’m fucking useless.”
“You’re not useless. Why are you saying all these things about yourself? What happened?” Gianna asked, trying to step forward. “Please, Finn. Talk to me.”
He stared at her for a long moment, almost like he was weighing out whether or not he could trust her. She really didn’t understand what could have happened that would have drastically shifted him this much, but whatever it was had to have been extreme.
“Come here,” he muttered, finally moving the gun.
Gianna ran over to him, sitting right beside him on the ground. She waited for him to start talking first. She wanted to grab his hand, to reach for him, but instead she gave him space. She would do things on his time. It seemed like the safest way to play it.
“My asshole of a father left everything in his will to Valerio,” Finn spat out. “Well, more specifically, to whoever Luna was going to marry or to whoever he appointed. He had no intentions of me becoming his heir or of me taking over the Kingsley name.”
Gianna’s eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something, but she had no idea what to say. The betrayal, there was no way to understand that. Hell, there was no way to justify it.
“This whole fucking time, I grieved him. Hell, I was wondering if there was another way things could have ended. If maybe my mother needed a punishment for killing him.” The words escaped his mouth like fire, threatening to burn anything in his way.
“I couldn’t fucking kill him myself. And for what?
Because I thought I was the heir? Because I thought every fucking hit was training, was teaching me how to fucking run an empire!
? I let him whip me when I could have thrown him to the ground and killed him.
And he didn’t want me as his heir. He doesn’t want me as the Don.
The fucking asshole died without even telling me any of this.
He put it in his fucking will to make sure I wouldn’t get anything.
He’s still making my life miserable from Hell!
And I wasted so much time, so much energy for nothing.
Every fucking thing I did was for nothing! ”
The more he went on, the louder he became. He was screaming by the time he was done. She could feel the frustration in his voice, the hurt, the brokenness. It was all hitting him at once and he needed to let it out before it consumed him.
“Why couldn’t he have fucking loved me? Why me? Why did he do this to me, Gianna?” Finn asked, the words raw in his throat.
Gianna shook her head, begging for her own tears not to fall.
“He didn’t deserve you, Finn. Your love, your drive, your intelligence, everything you are, didn’t deserve to be used and wasted by him.
You are the Kingsley heir regardless of what your father tries to claim.
You were born for it; you were made for it.
There is no one out there who could do it better than you.
And a real heir would take what is his and prove everyone wrong, especially Reece Kingsley. ”
“What if you’re wrong?”
She finally grabbed his face, not caring if he still held the gun.
Fresh tears slipped out of his eyes, and she finally let hers fall as well.
She could see the little boy in him who throughout his life was subject to such abuse and hurt.
He tried to justify the pain and violence by thinking there was an end goal or purpose for it, but now that there wasn’t, he was forced to realize that the abuse was just abuse.
“If I’m wrong, then that would have been the first time I ever was,” Gianna said, letting out a small laugh.
It seemed to do the trick, even as ridiculous as it was, because Finn managed to crack a small smile.
“Prove me right, though. Prove to me that you can do this if this is what you want. And if this isn’t what you want, we’ll find something else.
Whatever path you want to take is the one we’ll go with, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way. ”
“You don’t deserve to have to deal with this fucked up shit,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I can’t force that on you.”
“You’re not forcing anything on me. I’m choosing it. I’m choosing you.”
When he pulled her into his arms to hold her in his lap, she was startled at the sudden movement but settled into it within seconds. She let him hold her and in return she held him back, afraid that he would slip out of her arms without a moment’s hesitation.
Gianna wasn’t sure how much time slipped away between them while they sat in silence, but eventually it was broken by Finn speaking up.
“Do you think we grow up to become our parents?”
The question hit Gianna hard. She felt the air get ripped from her chest just thinking about becoming someone like her mother: selfish and narcissistic.
Every day, she feared that she was becoming like that the more she did whatever she wanted to for herself rather than what might have been the better option, like in her current predicament.
“I really hope we don’t,” she said. “Otherwise, I’m screwed.”
“Why do you say that?” he asked.
Gianna sighed. “Because my mother isn’t someone I ever want to become. She left when I was a baby and only comes back to visit once a year as a cruel reminder that she exists, but not with us. Not with the family that she helped create.”
“Why does she come back to visit?”
“Probably to try to fill the guilt in her conscience.”
Finn only nodded his head as if he was taking everything in. “Well, for what it matters, I don’t think you’ll ever become like her.”
“Why?”
“Because you have too kind of a soul to ever want to inflict that type of hurt onto anyone the way you’ve had to deal with it throughout your life.
” He moved back until he was able to look at her face and it made Gianna swallow harshly.
“I’ve never met your mother, but I think she missed out on knowing a wonderful woman.
The fact that you keep yourself open to those visits with her every year shows that you are every bit as wonderful and fantastic and breathtaking and enthralling as I know you are. ”
Her heart felt like it could erupt out of her chest at any moment.
One more word from Finn’s mouth and she was done for.
The way he viewed her was the way she wished everyone would.
Hell, it was the way she wished she could view herself.
Maybe one day she would and maybe it would be Finn showing her the way to do so.
“I never know how to reply to you,” she admitted. “Words don’t seem enough.”
“I don’t need anything in return,” he said. “Ever.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, this isn’t in return, this is answering your question from before. I don’t think you’ll ever become like either of your parents either.”
His lips pulled up into a small smile. “And why do you think that?”
“Because as hard as you’ve tried to fight it, there’s a heart inside of you.
One that demands to be let out, that wants to feel and love.
And despite what everyone may say about your quick impulses, you weigh out all your options before you make a decision.
Not to mention that you have such a strong sense of loyalty.
It’s the type that once you have it, you never want to lose it.
One that makes you worth following and trusting.
All of that makes you a better man, hell, a better person than either of them ever was.
” The words slipped from her mouth without having to put much thought into it.
She had always thought this; it was like muscle memory to say it at that point.
His eyes gleamed with something Gianna couldn’t make out fully, but it sent butterflies hurling throughout her stomach.
“Careful, princess. I’m starting to think you might actually like me.
” He leaned in closer until his lips were only a few inches away from hers.
“Or maybe you’re finally starting to feel more. ”
Her eyes widened, but his kiss served as a distraction from what he’d said. His insinuation that she was starting to love him made her nervous. That was the next step after like, wasn’t it? Love. The four letters that terrified her to the core.
She kissed him back passionately, desperately trying to forget about what he’d said. But then she started to think about whether he felt it or not. His ‘finally’ made her think that maybe he was waiting for her to catch up.
Did Finn love her?
The thought that he could sent a rush of warmth throughout her body. She was jumping ahead and needed to slow down. He hadn’t even used the word, so for all she knew that could be the last thing he was referencing. When that thought crossed her mind, she expected to feel relieved, not disappointed.
Finn pulled back, pushing her hair back. “Are you ready to go home now?”
She nodded her head. Sleep was definitely what she needed. She’d missed her classes for the day, she’d missed lunch, and now it was almost dinner time. “Are you sure you’re ready to go back?”
“I am. I’m going to take what’s mine and go from there. Everything else can follow along afterwards.”
She grabbed his hand, holding him on that promise that she would be there right beside him the entire time. For the first time in her life, it wasn’t a question of whether she would or wouldn’t. It was a clear answer.
She was choosing Finn.